by Karen Deen
More children need to hear that at a young age. Maybe then we would have a society of adults who’d be happy with life and each other. They wouldn’t dismiss people so easily if they aren’t perfect or a little broken. Sophia will be lucky to continue to grow up supported by amazing adults who are teaching her valuable life lessons. Looking at Grant right at that moment, I know I misjudged him.
He may show the world his tough business-man exterior, but these two little people in front of me are helping me to see the real Grant. A man who has a heart that he just doesn’t show to the world.
One thing I know for sure is that one day he will make a great father and husband. They’ll be lucky people. Pity that won’t be me.
When I was growing up my parents always supported me. For everything I ever wanted, and tried to do, they stood behind me one hundred percent. They taught me that losing could be used as motivation to improve your skills. To also be humble in winning and remember the feelings of others. Those values have stayed with me my whole life. My parents are good people with good values. My childhood was blessed. Although in my adulthood, they have been the greatest strength to me. At the lowest time in my life, they were there. They never let me give up and they never gave up on me. Sophia, Samuel and baby Thomas are very lucky. Not only do they appear to have wonderful parents who love, protect and stand by them throughout their life, they also have a big family who’ll be standing right behind Zach and Emily.
I want that. I want to find the man who will be my protector, love me and stand behind me, encouraging me to be whoever I want to be.
That’s my dream man.
A man I will fall so in love with, our love would bless us with children of our own to cherish. The problem with that dream is that I also have another dream that’s just as powerful. The dream to dance. I have never found a way to have both. Especially after Mark made me realize that unless I’m dancing, I’m not valuable to anyone. That’s hard to swallow. No matter how much I try to break free from those thoughts, they linger in my subconscious. My worth in life relies on my dancing. I need to lay this dream to bed to move on with my life.
“Miss Zara, what are you thinking about? You’re very quiet.” A gentle hand touches my hand. This brings my attention back to the dance studio.
“Sorry, sweetie. I was just thinking about a few things. Now, let me quickly get changed and then we can go have some dinner with the boys. Does that sound okay?” Her smile and the gentle squeeze of my hand let me know Sophia’s excited to get going. She isn’t one for words, but her body language gives so much away.
Turning to head into my office for a quick change, Grant’s deep voice breaks the silence.
“Need any help with that?”
With my back to him, I let myself smile. There he is, my confident ladies’ man. I had to stop myself right there. Grant is not ‘my’ man no matter how much I ache for him, he can never be mine.
“We haven’t even made it to the restaurant and it has already begun. Zero restraint, Grant. Why am I not surprised? Pretty sure I can do this job on my own. Just like I have been doing for a very long time and will continue to do.” I close the door on Grant and listen to his deep laugh.,
“We will see, Miss Zara. We’ll see.” He manages to have the last word every time. It leaves my heart in a flutter. It’s going to be a long night.
Grant
With the twins at my feet, Sammy chatters away with Sophia listening intently. I, however, cannot take my eyes off the door Zara’s just disappeared through. As the sight of her sexy tight ass vanished, my mind went with it. It’s dreaming about her, fantasizing about all the things I can do to her. But most of all, I want to know what she’s thinking. I can’t get a read on her. Her moods swing from the strong woman who won’t take crap from anyone, to the beautiful, soft vixen who takes my breath away as I watch her defenses crumble every time I touch her. I never push myself on a woman. Ever. I just wish I knew for certain what Zara wants, because I know for sure what I want and that’s the sassy-mouthed, sexy woman behind that door.
“Uncle Grant, I’m hungry. What are we having for dinner?” Sammy asks, wide-eyed. What is it with this kid and food?
“Sammy, you can’t be that hungry, we had all that ice cream not that long ago.” As I finish letting out our secret, Sophia’s eyes open wide and Zara walks across the studio.
“Uncle Grant! You weren’t supposed to tell them!” Sammy stomps his foot and crosses his arms. I laugh at his reaction.
“It’s okay, buddy. I am sure the girls will keep the secret from your mom and dad. Maybe we will have to bribe them with some more ice cream and chocolate?” Looking pleadingly at Zara to help bail me out of my mistake, she grins the most beautiful smile. It’s the most relaxed smile I’ve seen since meeting her.
“You had me at the words ice cream and chocolate. Your secret is safe with me, Sammy. What do you think, Soph? Think we can help Uncle Grant out and keep the boys’ secret?” As the words leave Zara’s mouth, I pick up Soph and start to tickle her.
“Come on, Soph, you promise to keep my secret, don’t you? Otherwise the tickle monster will keep chasing you.” Wriggling madly and giggling so much tears stream down her face, she finally gives in. Thank goodness, otherwise I think Sammy was going to stop being my friend. I’ll definitely need to be more careful next time with my secrets.
Mouthing a thank you to Zara, I slowly slide Soph back onto her feet. So, this parenting thing may not always be as fun as it looks or as easy as Emily and Zach make it out to be.
“I must admit though, I’m pretty hungry too. Let’s get going and have some dinner.” The twins run to the door and down the stairs at lightning speed. Zara follows with a little hesitation. Standing holding the door open for her, she stops.
“Zara, is everything okay?”
“Just friends, Grant. I can only do just friends.” With that, she leaves with her shoulders sagging and head down.
What the hell was that, and why do I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach? I’m caught in a moment where I can’t move or respond. It lasts a few seconds and my head clears but Zara is already out the door.
Not on your life, Zara. You want me, and you want to be more than friends. Everything in my soul tells me that, and I won’t stop until you tell me why you keep pushing me away.
Dinner was just as I expected. Sammy wants to order the whole menu and Soph has trouble deciding. The food arrives and Wild Child Sammy, swoops in and attacks his meal like he hasn’t eaten all year. Soph, very delicately eats her meal. Sammy’s still trying to talk and tell stories with his mouth full.
Zara and I don’t get to talk much, as there isn’t space to fit in an adult conversation between Samuel’s questions and life observations. It doesn’t seem to matter to Zara, though. Her facial expressions tell me she’s enjoying herself and I can’t help but watch her across the table. She has a natural beauty and ease with the twins. It’s understandable why parents love her as a dance teacher. It just flows easy for her. The twins love and trust her, trust not coming easy to Sophia.
The few times Zara catches me watching, a slight dusting of pink colors her cheeks. It’s the sweet side of her, the girl that’s been hiding from me. The innocent and vulnerable. The girl who wants to be loved. I decide I want to know this side of Zara just as much as the strong woman who sends my dick into a frenzy every time she opens her mouth to cut me down.
Time has gotten away from me with all the craziness of dinner. I need to get them to the hospital to see Thomas and let them show him off to Zara. Maybe just a part of me wants to show Zara off to Emily and Zach too. Not that I will be admitting that to Zach at all. No words will need to be spoken with Emily. She has me worked out and I think she did from the very first time we met. I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful soul in a sister-in-law.
Entering the lift at the hospital, Sammy comes out with the biggest question of the day and as usual, out of nowhere.
“Uncl
e Grant, is Miss Zara your girlfriend now you have taken her on a date and had dessert?”
Fuck! How can one little boy ask such an innocent question which has so much hidden meaning behind it. He may have had dessert but the dessert I want is standing right beside me.
Zara tries to stifle a laugh at the little groan that escapes my lips. How do I get myself in these situations with Samuel? He may just be the best and worst wingman ever.
Honesty is the best policy they say. “Not yet, Sammy. But I won’t lie, I would really like Miss Zara to be my girlfriend.”
Zara freezes, her face beet red. The redness travels all the way down her neck and chest, even coloring the cleavage. I have my baby on fire with my honest answer.
Sophia giggles into her hands as seven-year-old girls tend to do. Samuel however, keeps ploughing forward as he always does.
“So next time you go on a date, then she will be your girlfriend? Can you go tomorrow please because I like Miss Zara and want her to be my Aunty.”
Shit!
The thought alone has my cock hard. It’s what I want more than anything, but I need to save Zara here.
“Sammy, we all like Miss Zara, but she’s just a good friend to all of us. Maybe she might go out to dinner with me again, but it will be up to her if she becomes my girlfriend one day. If not, then she will always be our friend. Isn’t that right, Zara?” I can see she’s warring with her emotions. I reach across the elevator and hook my thumb under her chin until her eyes meet mine. “Just breathe, beautiful,” I whisper. “There’s no pressure. Although, I’m pretty sure you know what I want. The rest is up to you.”
Short breaths are all she can manage. In a small, quiet voice, Zara manages to reply. “Sammy, I like you all, too. Uncle Grant is right, I will always be your friend.” She doesn’t elaborate. The lift arrives on the maternity level and she’s saved from having to answer anymore.
Sammy has already moved on to the next thing and that’s to beat Sophia down the hallway and get to Thomas first. That boy has way too much energy. Sophia takes off after him but at a more delicate speed and with grace. She knows she will never beat him. I reach for Zara’s hand and gently pull her to a stop.
“Zara, I am sorry if Sammy embarrassed you. Just know everything I said is true. I do want to get to know you more and I want more. You’re pushing your hardest to keep me at a distance. It’s coming from your head, but your heart and body are sending me a very different story. Now is not the time, but please just think about what I said. Listen to your heart, it won’t let you down. I won’t let you down. Trust me.” I step away and lead her down the corridor to Emily’s room. She needs time to think and I need a distraction before I scoop her into my arms and carry her home to my bed.
“We had ice cream and chocolate for dessert. Uncle Grant said I was a good boy, so I could have dessert. Sophia didn’t eat all her dinner, but she tried so I ate hers too, so she would be allowed ice cream and chocolate.”
Emily and Zach laugh at Sammy’s recount of dinner, while Sophia watches mesmerized as Thomas sleeps in the cot. She strokes his cheek ever so gently. Cutest sight I’ve ever seen. Not realizing I’m still holding Zara’s hand, I notice the stupid grin on my brother. My glare tells him to back off and keep his mouth shut. When I let go of Zara, the buzz I feel vanishes in a heartbeat. I don’t want Zack mentioning anything potentially embarrassing, so letting Zara go is a small price to pay.
“Hi, guys. I hope you don’t mind Zara coming to visit with me? The kids wanted her to meet Thomas.” Pausing, I notice the knowing look in Emily’s eyes. She secretly knows this has nothing to do with Thomas. Zach, on the other hand, has that smart-ass smirk on his face and a look in his eyes promising he’ll be finding out very soon about what’s going on. He can promise all he wants, but it ain’t happening. I turn back to Emily and ignore Zach.
“How are you doing today, Em? How’s Thomas? Are you all settling okay?” Her smile always makes me relax.
“A little tired, but besides that, we are both perfect.
“So great to see you, Zara. I’m so glad Grant and the kids brought you for a visit. I heard you were here the night he was born but couldn’t stay, so I am so glad you’re back.” I see Zara starting to breathe a little slower with Emily’s warm reception. Her eyes however, show that her mind is still racing trying to process everything.
“Zach, can you pass Thomas to Zara so she can meet our new little blessing? He’s so cuddly, you’ll just love him. I stare at him all day. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have any more children, so he certainly is a gift to us all.” Love pours from Emily as she looks at her son in Zach’s arms. My big, strong brother is brought to his knees every time he’s near Thomas. Emily knows Thomas isn’t only a gift to her and the twins, but he’s a miracle for Zach. They all are. His life is perfect.
I feel the nerves and anxiety radiating off Zara.
The moment Thomas is placed in her arms, calmness washes over her. Her eyes gaze lovingly down at this perfect little boy. All the troubles from earlier fade away and she allows her head to be one place. Finally, Zara’s shoulders relax, the back of her fingers gently touching Thomas’s cheek. It seems Sammy isn’t my only wingman. Thanks, baby Thomas.
Chapter Sixteen
Zara
Such innocence and trust in such a small child. Not touched or tainted by the world yet. All he has known is the love of his family. The room is filled with it, you can feel it. Running my finger down his soft smooth cheek, I fall in love. Thomas is just adorable. My mind scrambles and my senses are on overload from Grant. I try to process everything and now Thomas has eased my mind. How can such a soul be so calming? He’s just what I need. A little nose that’s shaped like a button is sitting in the middle of a cute little face. His jaw line though is definitely from Zach. Strong and square which show power. Grant’s jaw is the adult image of Thomas.
I wonder what Thomas’s life has in store for him. What will his dreams be? Where will life take him? The love I share for these three little people is growing by the minute. I have no idea why, but I feel so close to this family. It’s like Thomas has a magical power that’s dragging me in. If only it were that easy, Thomas. Life is so much more complicated than that.
My mind becomes totally consumed by Thomas, that I don’t realize Grant, Zach and the kids are no longer in the room. Emily signals for me to join her on the bed. I’m not ready to finish my cuddle yet. Emily doesn’t try to take her son, instead she simply smiles at me like the cat that ate the canary.
“He’s so precious, Emily. Thank you for letting me see him. This is the first time I’ve held a baby so little. My ovaries are aching at his cuteness. I have never had that feeling before.”
“Zara, that’s not just Thomas doing that to you. It has a lot to do with that big dominate male you walked in with. The same one who can’t seem to take his eyes off you. He’s turned on things in your body that have never been awoken by any man before. Tell me honestly, am I wrong?”
I try to say the words, but they fail to form. Taking a huge breath, all that comes out is a sigh.
“That’s what I thought. The electricity zings between you two and you weren’t even touching.”
I don’t know Emily all that well, but we’ve got along right from the start, ever since she came into the studio to enroll Sophia. Everything about her aura tells me I can trust her. Right at this moment, I need to talk, and I know Emily will understand.
“Oh God, Emily. Grant turns me upside down every time he walks in the room. His voice makes my stomach butterfly and when he touches me, I lose all rational thought. I don’t know how to handle him. It’s been two days since I met him, and he’s consuming me.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“The problem is, I can’t let it happen, but I don’t want to stop it either. The timing is all wrong.”
“Zara, talk to me. If anyone knows about the power of a Stevenson man, it’s me. Let me help. Whatever you sa
y will stay between us. I love Grant dearly, but you look like you need a friend.”
“You have no idea how much I need to talk. My head is so conflicted. My body turns to mush. That is not me, Emily. I am a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man. I know where I’m heading and what I need to do to get there. There’s no time or space for a man in that journey. The last time I let one in…he crushed me and my dreams. I can never let that happen again.”
“Why can’t Grant be part of your dreams? No man has the right to crush a dream. The right man, the one who is meant for you, will walk beside you in that dream and be there to catch you if you fall. To push you back up and point you forward until you reach that dream.”
Emily has no idea what she’s saying is actually like a fairy tale. But, that’s not what happens. The only way you can get to your dream is on your own. Other people only want to be a part of it while the going’s good. When times get tough, they walk away and crush you.
“It doesn’t always happen like that, Emily.” Thomas stirs in my arms. I don’t know what to do with him and feel a moment of panic. Instinct, however, soon kicks in and I start to pat his bottom and his sleepy smile returns.
Emily reaches out and places her hand over mine. It’s a gesture of friendship and one which makes me feel safe.
“The day Zach walked into my life, it was one of the worst days I’d lived through, other than the day I lost my mom. Yet, he blew me away. I had no choice but to notice him and I knew in my heart I needed him. What could I do? I tried so hard to deny my feelings. My kids needed protecting and I didn’t want to be hurt. I pushed him away so many times trying to pretend I was in control. I’m telling you now, I wasn’t in control of anything. Zach Stevenson had arrived in my life and he was my happily ever after. Nothing I did was going to change that. Zach fought his feelings just as hard as I did. He tried to walk away, but fate and the universe had worked too hard to get us together and we couldn’t deny it any longer.”
