by Karen Deen
Before us are four different benches and apparatuses with women strapped to them. Thrashing and screaming to be let go. To stop what is happening to them. Pleading for people to save them from captivity. I have to pull Jessie back into my arms and hold her as I feel her silent sobs wracking her body because she can’t show them.
I lean down and whisper in her ear. “Hold it in, you can do this. We’ll have them out of here tomorrow night. They need you to hold it together.” She takes in a really deep breath and slowly lets it out. Nodding to let me know she’s in control. “We need to start looking like this is what we enjoy. I need you to start squirming like I’m touching you and the vision in front of you is getting you off. You can do this. Be my AJ and help these women. We’re all they have, we can’t let them down.” She squeezes my hand that is on her stomach to let me know she acknowledges what I’m saying.
We start to perform like actors, the whole time I’m taking in all the faces of the people in the room and the men performing such despicable acts. Looking up from Jessie’s neck, I spot one of the women on the bench has totally given in. Her body is just limp, no fight left. Looking closer, I see her face which looks sunken and a shell. Her hair has been changed but I know it’s her. That is Sheree Woodley, my missing date case. The one who has been calling to me in spirit to save her. My sixth sense knew all along she was still alive. I just hope she can hang on one more night. I want to be able to let her know I’m coming for her, but she is no longer with us and I can’t blow our cover.
Nibbling on Jessie’s neck, well, looking like I am anyway, I need desperately to get out of here.
“That’s it, Alison Jane, let it all go so I can take you home and fuck you,” I say loud enough for people around us to hear. A few of the guys give me the smirk like they’re enjoying watching my girlfriend get off on this. Jessie gets the message of our signal and makes her big finale moan. We then pull it together and make for the exit to get out of the club as soon as we can. Collecting her coat and our phones, we are out and hustling down the street.
I can’t do this. I pull her into an alleyway and throw my guts up. I’ve seen a lot of things in my career and that will rate one of the hardest things I’ve done, to walk away from that club and leave those women there. Jesse is rubbing my back as I pull myself together.
“Sorry, just couldn’t hold it in any longer,” I mumble, leaning on the building.
“That’s the most fucked-up thing I’ve seen,” she says to me in a quiet voice that’s full of hurt.
“I second that. We need to report in, then I need a really stiff drink. How about you?” I grab her hand and start off towards my apartment.
“I’ll need more than one drink to put me to sleep tonight.,” Jessie says to me as we both descend into silence on the fast-paced walk back to the apartment.
After a few hours of debriefing with Sarge, and Jessie calling Adam to make sure he knew she was okay, we are finally settling in for the night on the couch. I spoke to Adam as well while Jessie was getting changed in the bathroom into some old clothes she has here just in case. I wanted him to know exactly how bad it was tonight and what’s going to go down tomorrow. She’s going to need him more than ever as we walk away from this case.
Once she’s out of the bathroom, we chat for a while trying to find things to talk about that aren’t related to what we saw tonight. It was difficult but we got through it. I now know that Jessie is one of three girls in her family, her favorite color is purple, and she loves Mexican food but hates avocado. You can work with people all day, every day, and know nothing about them.
It’s now three am and Jessie is fast asleep on my bed. I’ve taken the couch because I know I won’t sleep much anyway. I was hoping that getting drunk would help but it has only made me think more of Lilly. My mind is heading off on stupid tangents worrying about her. If I can’t be there, who is going to protect her? Who will make sure she never ends up in a club like tonight? I’m reminded of how much I miss her; how much I miss hearing her voice and cheeky comments. Most of all, I miss her touch. The one that makes me feel on top of the world.
My phone is in my hand, my fingers hovering over the buttons and have been for twenty minutes. This is the hardest part of being undercover. You’re on your own.
Fuck it!
The tone breaks the silence in my ear.
“Hello…Hello… who is this?” Lilly’s sleepy voice warms my soul.
She’s safe. My heart sighs knowing that.
“Is anyone there? You better talk or I’m hanging up on you!”
I can’t help myself, a small growl escapes at her sassy voice that’s coming through the phone. I need her so much tonight. Just to hold and calm me. That peace she brings me.
“Kane, is that you? Kane, are you okay?” I can’t do this to her. I hang up. I wanted to talk but it will only open up the hurt all over again for her. She’ll worry where I am. I place my phone on my heart just knowing she was there. So close I feel like I can reach out and touch her. By now the alcohol is taking affect and sleep is finally coming. Either that or just the sound of her voice is enough to relax me enough to let it take over my body.
I drift off dreaming of her. My Red, naked against the window in those fucking heels. A vision I will never forget. God, how the hell can I live without her in my life? Tonight, I’m not, though. I’m living with her in my dream.
Lilly
My phone ringing has me startling and reaching, trying to find it in the dark with my eyes closed. I haven’t slept properly for weeks so I wasn’t really in a deep sleep.
“Hello… Hello… who is this?”
No one’s talking. I pull the phone from my ear to look at the number. It says no caller ID. I hate that.
Putting it back to my ear, I can hear faint breathing on the other end. It better not be one of these fucking prank calls. I’m not in the mood.
“Is anyone there? You better talk or I’m hanging up on you!” I’m making sure they know I’m not putting up with any crap.
Then I hear it. A low quiet growl. I know that voice. That’s my wolf. Damn, I’m now sitting bolt upright in my bed.
“Kane, is that you? Kane, are you okay?” I know it’s him, I can sense it.
As soon as I say his name, he hangs up.
Banging my fists on the bed, I scream out my frustration. I can’t even call him back because I don’t have a number. I’ve called his phone so many times since that day, but it just goes to his message and now it tells me his inbox is full. Now this. I know it was him. He needs me. That’s why he called. I’ve questioned Xavier within an inch of his life to tell me where he is, but he tells me he doesn’t know and all he’ll say is that he’s okay and not to worry.
Like hell I don’t worry. I know there’s something not right with all of this. There was something so deep between us, and the way he just broke it off and then disappeared is just not right. At first, I was so angry with him that I couldn’t see straight. But when I got through the tears and anger, my rational brain started thinking how it doesn’t make sense. Until I see him again and talk to him, I won’t believe this is it.
Now this phone call. There is no way I’m sleeping now. It’s going to be another long day. I press the television on and start scanning Netflix for something to watch to try to stop my heart from thumping in my chest. I can’t help but be worried. He must be desperate if he called me and tried to hide who he was. I keep trying to tell myself he’s fine. He’s strong. We would’ve heard something by now if there were anything wrong.
For fuck’s sake, why is everything I scan past either a sappy romance or a damn cop show? That’s it, now I’m resorting to some show about gold mining in the Australian outback. Who comes up with this shit anyway? Reality television has a lot to answer for in dumbing down the population. Who am I kidding? I love to watch The Bachelor just for the laughs and the fashion. Those chicks are batshit crazy. But it’s worth the comic relief.
I must have drifted of
f a little because opening my eyes now, the television is still going but the sun is shining in through the crack in the curtains. I don’t know how long I was asleep but hopefully it’s enough to get me through another day. Work has been busy, but I’m glad because it keeps my mind occupied. Today is Monday, which means family meeting plus getting the week’s schedules out to the crew supervisors on site. I know I should be up doing my morning gym sessions, but my heart just isn’t in it at the moment. I told Xavier and Nat I’m taking time off and will let them know when I’m coming back. They both tried to tell me it’s important to keep active to help my mood. They might be right, but I just can’t do it. It’s taking all my strength just to function through the day.
I even tried to bargain with Xavier, to make him tell me what’s going on with Kane, and if he did, I’ll come to the gym. He just laughed at me and told me nice try. He swears he doesn’t know anything, but I can tell he’s lying. My only relief is that if he does know something, then he’ll know Kane’s okay. Xavier was Kane’s lifeline before I was around, so it makes sense he would lean back on him.
Looking at the time, I see it’s only six am so the morning is only just beginning. I contemplate if I should lie here a bit longer or not, but I’m feeling restless so swing my legs out from under the covers and start the day. Every time I have a shower I think of Kane. We had some pretty intense shower sessions, and the memories leave me longing for his touch, with no way of relieving it except with my vibrator, which doesn’t even interest me at the moment. I need to snap out of this. Time to get on with the day.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lilly
“Zach, can you please smack Luke around the back of the head for me?” I’m getting frustrated with the stupid shit coming out his mouth this morning.
“Seriously, sis, you need to get some sleep or get laid, one of the two.” Luke laughs at me across the table.
“Luke,” Alesha gasps. “You did not just say that to your sister. Dad would have a heart attack if he heard you say that.
“Can we keep our concentration on work?” Grant speaks above us all talking at the same time.
“Yes, Dad,” we all chant at the same time. It really pisses him off, that’s why we do it.
“Don’t even start. I swear I work with a bunch of kids,” he grumbles, scanning his tablet for the next point on the agenda we need to talk about. “Zach, what came of the chat the police had down at the river job? Did you find out what’s going on?”
“Not really. Just that there’s talk of some shady stuff happening down that end of town to do with a few women going missing. They didn’t give too much away, just wanted to talk to everyone to see if they had seen anything that may be of help.” Zach looks towards Alesha and me. “Did Kane say anything about it to either of you?”
“Well, he would actually have to show his gutless face for me to know anything.” No matter how much I try to push it aside, there’s still anger lying under the surface. I miss him desperately, but I’m still pissed at him too.
“Okay then, maybe we’ll leave that one alone, shall we?” Zach looks to the boys who are both trying to avoid eye contact with me. “So, next agenda point, Grant.” That’s Zach for you. Always the peacemaker in the family.
“Moving along then. Contract renewals with the contractors need to be signed off this afternoon when they’re finishing up for the day. One of us needs to be down there to sign off for the company. Dad has volunteered to accompany whoever’s going down.” Grant rolls his eyes as he does whenever Dad still tries to stick his nose in. “I’ll be in a meeting with council so I can’t. Luke and Zach are both in separate meetings, so can either of you girls go?”
I look to Alesha who looks like it’s the last thing she wants to be doing.
“Okay, I’ll do it. Get me out of the office for a while. Away from you annoying boys,” I volunteer reluctantly.
“You love us, Lilly. We’re the best brothers ever.” Luke puts his hands over his heart and flutters his eyelashes at me.
“You are such a dickhead. You know that?” I laugh at him because what else can you do.
After the meeting is finished, I finally manage to get my work done. That’s one thing in my job, as fast as I clear my emails, they just keep scrolling up the screen. Running the administration and finances with Alesha for the whole company and all the jobs is complicated and painstaking. If we get it wrong, we lose money, or jobs are held up. There are so many things that can go wrong if we drop the ball. I know the last few weeks Alesha has been carrying me and double-checking everything for me. My mind just hasn’t been in the game.
I pack up my bag and grab the folder with all the contracts I need for the sign off this afternoon, then I say my goodbyes and head for the garage. Thinking about what I need to concentrate on when I get to the site, I open up my car, placing my bag and files on the passenger seat. Moving to the driver’s side, I’m almost about to slide into my seat when I spot a small parcel on my windscreen. I look around to see if I can spot anyone, but the garage is empty. I take the parcel and sit in my car, closing the door so I’m completely alone.
I can’t help myself, I pull the paper off the small square. The tears start to lightly fall down my cheeks. It’s a child’s storybook version of Little Red Riding hood. The front cover, a picture of Red Riding Hood and the wolf. I open the front cover to see a simple note.
It just reads ‘I’m ok, Red. Wolf’. Four words that mean more to me than the whole alphabet today. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I know for sure that was Kane on the phone last night, and whatever it is that he needed help with, just hearing me must have gotten him through it. This is his way of letting me know that he’s okay. My heart relaxes for the first time today.
But why can’t he talk to me? He must know what he’s doing to me. I’m relieved that he’s okay, yet I’m cranky at him for not giving me more. I need to know what he’s doing and why he ended us, but is still hovering in the background. It’s weird and creepy. I didn’t take him for the stalker type. Does he not have the guts to face me after what he did to me? I’m all of a sudden feeling very confused. He doesn’t want me, yet he leaves me this.
What are you doing to me, Kane?
This is so unlike him. I took him for the straight-up direct kind of guy.
I’m not sure how long I’m sitting there before my phone rings to startle me and snap me out of my state of confusion.
“Hi, Daddy, sorry I got held up at the office. I’ll be there soon.” Starting my car, I need to get to the job site before the end of shift.
“It’s okay, princess, please don’t rush. I don’t want you to have an accident.”
“Dad, are you making fun of my driving?”
“No, princess, not at all. All seven accidents you’ve had were obviously the other person’s fault. Just take it easy and I’ll see you soon. Don’t worry, I’ll have the contractors all sorted and ready for when you get here. They won’t move before I tell them they can.” I don’t doubt that one bit. When Dad speaks, everyone takes notice. It’s just the way he is. He’s a man of authority, but not in an arrogant way. He is very well respected by all our staff and contractors even though he’s retired.
“Thanks, Daddy, I’ll be there soon.”
As I drive through the city, I glance to the side and see the book on my seat. I’m so torn. My heart is crying for the sweetness of it. The message that only I would understand and the thoughtfulness of letting me know he’s fine. But my head is angry that he’s playing with my emotions and leaving me hanging. I have no idea what to think and no way of being able to talk to him when he’s cut me off.
After two near misses of accidents, I arrive at the job site down near the river, rushing to the site office where I can see everyone waiting for me. Apologizing, I rush through the crowd to find Dad at the table with everything set up and ready to go, just waiting for the contracts that I have with me.
“Okay, people, just give Lilly a
minute and we’ll be ready to get you all done and out of here for the day.” They all just nod their heads while I fluster, getting everything I need out.
Dad takes control and the signings go smoothly. No one complains and are all happy to sign what’s being provided to them for the next job’s contract. We are loyal to our contractors providing they do the right thing by us too. It’s a mutual respect. With the last contractor heading out the door of the site shed, I start to breathe a sigh of relief that today is finally over. I’m exhausted and just want to go home, take a bath with a bottle of wine and just shut out the world for a while.
“Thanks for your help this afternoon, Dad. It’s always a bit crazy but we got it done without any hassles with you here. I’m going to head off now.” My arms are full with my bag and files.
“Give me those.” He takes the files from my hands. “I’ve arranged a table at the Italian place down the road for me to take you to dinner. Just the two of us.” He waits for me to start walking to the car.
I sigh, wishing I were going home, but if Dad says we’re doing dinner then who am I to argue? I suppose it can’t hurt. I do need to eat. Plus, it’ll be nice to just have a bit of quiet time with Dad. It’s not often we’re alone, just the two of us. Normally Mom is with him and she tends to dominate the conversation while Dad just puts his two cents’ worth in occasionally. Or when the whole family is together, you can forget getting a quiet conversation with anyone. Dad is usually entertaining the grandkids or helping Mom fussing over the mountain of food she’s prepared. Lastly, his other job is to calm Mom. When she gets carried away, he steps in and centers her. It’s gorgeous to watch. He loves her more than I can put a value on. It’s like this great universal aura that sits around them. Eternal love is what I would call it.
