by Karen Deen
“Jesus, Red. I missed you so fucking much.” He lies on top of me, kissing me with all the love he’s feeling at the moment. I just take it all, I can’t get enough of him. He’s breaking the starvation I’ve been feeling for weeks.
Worrying he is crushing me, he rolls over on to his back, dragging me with him, so I’m lying flat on top of him and our kiss doesn’t break for one second. His hands find their way down, so they’re splayed over my ass cheeks. Like they belong there. I grab hold of his face and run my hands through the light beard he has on his face. Like he hasn’t shaved since the day he walked out. I loved his smooth face but I kinda have a thing going for the roughness of this. I certainly wasn’t complaining when he had his face buried between my legs.
“Don’t worry, I’ll shave tomorrow. I just wasn’t wasting time getting back to you.” Kane kisses me on both cheeks and then my nose.
“Hmm, we might have to negotiate that. Maybe I like it.” I giggle a little as he smiles, knowing exactly what I’m talking about.
“Do you now. Well, let’s discuss that later. Right now, we need to talk and then I’m showing you again how much I love you, little lady.” The muscles in his face are finally starting to relax a little. I’m not sure I want to talk anymore as the exhaustion is starting to hit, but he’s right, we need to clear the air before we close our eyes tonight.
Then tomorrow is a brand-new day, and a new beginning.
Kane
My mind has never been so full of commotion, yet clearer than ever. I hate that it took something bad to happen for me to get to this point. Regardless, now I know exactly what I want and who I want it with. It’s like a huge fog has cleared. One that I was hiding behind for the fear of being hurt or my greatest fear of hurting someone else.
“That first night in New York, I knew you were different. Together, we were something way more than either of us was expecting. I wasn’t prepared for how you made me feel. I ran because I didn’t know how to deal with that. I knew if we spent the next night together then I was in real trouble. For someone who thinks they have their life in control and the boundaries made, the roads they’re going to travel, it was so confusing for me. I just told myself that was it. To stay away and you’d move on.”
She starts laughing quietly at me. “Yes, well you didn’t realize how stubborn I was, then.” Her hand slowly runs through my hair on my head. The sensation is so amazing.
“Tell me about it. It’s one of the things I love about you. You kept fighting for us even though you weren’t admitting to yourself that there was even an us. Just like I wasn’t admitting that this was always something more than being fuck buddies. Can I just say, I actually hate those words, but I needed to keep some distance. Then every time I was with you, whether we were in bed or not, you had me feeling all turned upside down. Here I was thinking I was the one in control, but you had me drawn into your world and I didn’t know how to escape or if I even wanted to. No matter how much I had my life mapped out, you were my GPS and rerouting after every time I turned.” Running the backs of my fingers down her cheek, I feel her shiver with my touch. It encourages me to continue.
“Then the undercover job surfaced. I already knew I had to pull back from you because I didn’t want to let you believe I could give you more. I never wanted to be the one to cause a woman the pain from having a spouse who works a dangerous job each day. So, the day we went to Zach’s farm for lunch, I was told that Monday I was leaving. I’m sorry, Lil, but I was so selfish. I took everything you offered me that last night to help me get through the hurt that was to come. That night was like nothing I have ever experienced. I knew making love to you that next morning, that I was going to break both our hearts to a thousand pieces. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you even though I was hurting you. Didn’t that backfire on me, though?” Taking a deep breath, I pull her head down to lay it on my chest. I want her as close as possible. Taking a moment, Lilly lets me pull my thoughts together to keep going.
I explained to Lilly everything about Jessie and what happened on the job.
“Last night after visiting the sex club for the first time… it was such a shock to see everything that was going on in there, hard to handle for both of us. I got drunk and called you, which I’m sorry for putting you through that, but I had spent all night talking to Jessie about you. She understood what I had been thinking but then convinced me how stupid I am and what I’ll miss out on if I choose to live my life like that. I had been missing you so much that I knew I was finishing this case and coming for you. I was desperate to know you were okay and I needed to hear your voice. You always calm me, in your crazy chaotic way.” That earns me a slap on the chest and has us both laughing. Breaking a bit of the seriousness of my words
“I won’t lie,” Lilly says. “I was a complete wreck when you left. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I couldn’t even be the annoying ex and stalk you, begging you to take me back, because you just dropped off the face of the earth. When I saw you tonight from my car, I was so mad. My adrenaline rushed and I had to chase you. I kinda saw red literally when I saw you all over Jessie in a red dress. I was ready to murder you.” I can picture her face when she spotted me.
“There is and will only ever be, one Red in my life and that’s the woman wrapped in my arms. My little Red vixen.” Kissing her again, it starts to heat up quickly, but I pull back. We need to get through this. “I need to tell you this, Red, you need to know how I feel.” I lay her on her side so she’s facing me, I can then look her in the eye when I say it.
“I can see how wrong I was, baby. I want to tell you how sorry I am. If you can forgive me, can we start again and scrap the arrangement? I want to date you and let every man alive know that you’re off the market. You are mine and I’m the only one who gets to cuff you to my bed.” Her eyes twinkle with a little excitement. The first I’ve seen from her tonight. “Maybe just not for a little while, too many visions at the moment.”
She nods at me in agreement.
“However, I want you pushing my buttons, flirting your cute little ass in front of me and surprising me every day. As long as I get to keep rule number two. I’m the boss in here and I will never hurt you. Only ever show you pleasure and how much I love you. Can you cope with that? Will you be mine, baby, and let me try to protect you? I can’t promise I won’t screw up again, but we’ll have fun trying to make this work.” Moments like this are where Lilly takes every part of my soul and locks it into her heart safe and sound.
The tears are streaming down her face. “I’ve always been yours, Kane. You claimed me that first night and never let me go. We don’t have to try to make anything work. We just have to be us. It works just fine. Although, I won’t say no to trying lots more things in here. That last night was pretty good.”
“Just good? Are you serious? I was damn impressive, I’d say.” I grab her and start tickling her. I finally feel like my world is back on its axis.
“Maybe I need reminding of who my big bad wolf is.”
“Oh, my little Red, I told you once before, I never back down from a challenge and I never lose!”
“That’s what I’m counting on,” she whispers.
“Be careful what you wish for, Red. Tonight I fully intend on claiming you as mine all over again. I hope you’re ready.”
Pulling her to me, my wolf comes out to play, and I start devouring her.
And I don’t plan to stop anytime soon.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lilly
“Kane, I can’t move. You broke me,” I murmur as we both start to wake from our wild night in more ways than one.
“Let that be put on record, Kane Boston finally broke in the wild filly Lilly Stevenson,” he mumbles with his head buried in my hair. “I am the champion stallion in the stable.”
“You’re such an ass sometimes, you know.” I start to roll onto my stomach and turn my head towards him, kissing him lightly on his forehead.
; “You’re so right. Now come here and kiss me properly, otherwise I will be smacking your ass. That was no way to kiss me good morning.”
“Demanding too!” I pretend huffing at him. Like I’m ever going to say no to a kiss filled with passion from my man.
“Mmm, much better,” he whispers, breaking away the tiniest bit. “Morning, beautiful. Are you okay?” I know he’s asking on a serious level. Yesterday was full-on. It’ll take a while to move past it. I know we will do it together so I can cope with that.
“Yeah, I am. I’m here with you. Everything else will get easier to cope with.” I kiss his lips softly and then ask him the same thing.
“What about you? Are you okay? It sounds like you had an intense few weeks.” With his hand on my cheek, I lean into it and feel all the love in his gesture.
“Baby, I have you in my bed naked. Of course I’m fine.”
“Kane, trust, remember? Talk to me.” This is where we’re going to need work.
He takes a little breath. “Sorry, I’m trying. Yeah, baby, I’m okay. This will go on for a few months now, but the worst is over. Plus, I have you to lean on. I just need to remember that. Thank you.”
“Always here. No matter what. I’ll be reminding you, don’t you worry about that.” I can’t help but start laughing.
“What’s so funny, missy?” Kane pulls back to prepare for his next move depending on my answer.
After I pull myself together and stop laughing, I say, “Just thinking about how every time I’ve turned up for you to lean on it’s involved some pretty hot sex. Involving a trench coat, or hand cuffs and chocolate sauce. I’m going to have to start getting creative.”
“Fuck yeah, I love your creativity. I’m going to need to lean on you a whole lot more from now on, I can tell.” Kane starts wandering with his hands over my body. “Starting right now, I think. What have you got in mind?”
“Sex maniac!” I smack his hand away from settling on my breast. “I told you I’m broken.”
“Perhaps we can skip the shower and take a bath together. Will that make you feel better, my beautiful lady?” I love this soft Kane who’s not scared to show me his loving caring side.
“Sounds heavenly.” I show him how much I love the suggestion with my appreciative kiss.
After being bathed by Kane and making sweet passionate love in the bath, we finally emerge to eat breakfast. With only the bare essentials in the fridge from Alesha last night, we venture out to a café for brunch that’s almost lunch. The morning has gone before we realized.
Kane managed to get my phone and belongings from the club last night before he left, and drove my car back to his place. I had totally forgotten about all of that. We both call Alesha in the car on the way to the café just to put her at ease. I know she must be worried about both of us after everything from last night. Especially because she doesn’t know much, just that it was one crazy time.
Xavier, of course, is in the background yelling out stupid things about being able to hear the screaming from Kane’s apartment in his bedroom downstairs. If we could keep it down to a dull roar next time. This just starts the boys off in a pissing competition on who’s the better lover and has the biggest dick. No matter what, they will never stop being boys. For that I’m so grateful. You can’t take life too seriously all the time. It’s about living in the moment, laughing and loving. Everything else will fall into place.
Thinking about my family and telling them about Kane, I wonder what bets my brothers will now be able to think up. Maybe I should beat them to it and have a bet with Alesha on how long before one of them gives him the ‘be good to my sister or we’ll kill you’ talk. Being the youngest, they’ve always been very protective of their baby sister. Alesha and I both had the problems at school of boys being too scared to come near us because of our brothers. Where Alesha just kept to herself, I used it as a challenge to see which boys I could make out with, before my brother found out.
Lord help me if I have children and get girls. Karma couldn’t be that nasty to have a daughter turn out like me. We’ll butt heads and be constantly exploding like firecrackers. Maybe I should warn Kane now. Actually, I’m pretty sure he already knows.
Sitting here watching my man, eating and scrolling through Facebook on his phone catching up on his social media, I can’t believe how my life has changed. A few months ago, I wasn’t even thinking one tiny little bit about children, or any permanent relationship for that matter. Now I can’t imagine life without him. I lived it for a few weeks, I felt like it almost killed me and I’m not going back there. I plan on making sure he knows that every single day. He’s stuck with me, no matter what.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kane picks up his coffee to take a sip, smiling. That smile will get me every time.
“Just happy. In here.” I pat my heart and a couple of little tears slip down my cheeks.
“Me too, baby. Happier than I’ve ever been.” Picking up my hand, he kisses the back of it. Then he leans forward to whisper to me. “Don’t get used to this sappy lovey-dovey Kane, your wolf is lurking just below the surface and will raise his head looking for his Red very shortly.”
“He better. He was part of the overall package that I had on the ‘try before you buy’ deal. I’ll be asking for a refund if I don’t get the full package I signed up for.”
Kane leans back and roars with laughter, a real deep belly laugh.
“You’re hilarious sometimes. Does that mean I’ve passed the trial period and now I’m a permanent fixture under the contract you entered into?”
“Yes, as long as you follow the rules listed in the contract, you’ll be fine.” I lean back in my chair, sipping my coffee and just admiring the view. The arms that are sticking out from under the tight shirt he has on, showing off his chest that’s hard as rock. Hmm, might need a napkin to catch my drool in a minute.
“They better be the same rules as the trial period. Rule one, fucking is for fun, with the amendment to take out the line of no feelings, no attachment, no awkwardness. They’re no longer applicable. Rule two, however, is non-negotiable, to be honest. I’m in charge in the bedroom, full stop, end of story! Oh, and of course the other rules about not being with anyone else still stands. You’ve seen what happens to anyone who thinks they can touch my girl, so they do so at their own risk. Like you need anyone else when you have me anyway!”
Very proud of himself, he leans back with his arms behind his head.
Fuck me, he’s hot.
I don’t know about his list of rules, but he sure as hell has ticked everything on my future date list. Except the plane, but if he joins me to the mile-high club one day, then I’ll let that one slide.
“I think I can manage those rules. Number two is still debatable, but we’ll see how we do with that.” I count in my head waiting for the reaction. Ten, nine, eight…
“Start moving, Red, we’re leaving, right now. I’ll show you how debatable rule two is.” And there it is, he didn’t even make it to seven. Standing, he throws money on the table to cover the bill. He’s at my side and assisting me out of my chair as I try so hard not to laugh at him.
He leans down and whispers in my ear.
“I hope you know what you’ve started. I’m going to fuck that sassy right out of you, my little Red.”
Hello my Wolf, welcome home.
Oh, how I’ve missed you.
The rest of Tuesday is spent rewriting the rule book. Can I just say some of the new rules are my new favorites? How my body made it through the day and all the extra negotiating that happened is a miracle. I had plenty of phone calls from my family as they all found out what had happened. Mom demanded to see me so she could confirm for herself that we’re both okay. I managed to push her off until tomorrow.
Kane was given special leave today, but he’s expected in the station tomorrow to continue all the paperwork that’s now needed, and for further investigations to strengthen the case for court. He’ll be in much bett
er frame of mind now that he's spent a day with me. He has cleared his head and his guilt, used up three weeks’ worth of testosterone, and is all soft and mellow. The police department can thank me later.
It will also mean back to work for me. My staff will also be thanking Kane wholeheartedly along with my family. The bitchy Lilly has left—well, for now anyway—and Lilly who is on a high has taken her place. We’ve gone to my apartment and collected clothes for a few days for me to stay with Kane. His reason is so I’m not alone if he’s at work, Xavier and Alesha being downstairs. I told him he’s full of shit, he just wants free access to my body. He didn’t deny that either, which has me tingling all over.
Lying together in bed tonight was different. A calm has come over us both. It’s like we’ve stopped fighting against what we don’t want and wasting all that energy. Instead, we’re finally enjoying everything we so desperately want.
“Lilly,” Kane whispers from behind me as we’re spooning naked in the moonlight shining in through the open window. We’re both in a totally relaxed satiated state.
“Mmm,” I murmur in my sleepy voice.
“Thank you for never giving up on us. No one’s ever fought for me. I will always love you for that.” He kisses my shoulder. My heart is melting. I knew there was more to Kane than he let anyone see. Finally, I know without a doubt I have all of him. Right to the core.
“I will always fight for us because that’s how much I love you. Besides, no one else knows how to handle me. Only you. Only my wolf.” I have tears bordering on spilling out again. I have never been so emotional in my life as I have since Kane showed up. Maybe that’s the gift he’s giving me. A place to just let everything free. My soft landing.
“Sleep, beautiful, tomorrow we have to adult.” I hear his breathing slowing and know his eyes are closed.
“Wish we could stay in our bubble. Adulting is overrated. Night, Wolf.”
