by Jaden Skye
“Just like that? If you just needed a break, you would have let me know in plenty of time that you were coming home. You didn’t. It was the last minute. Your voice sounded troubled.”
Cindy smiled. “You’re in the wrong profession, Ann. You’re a better detective than me.”
Ann wasn’t budging, or smiling. “It’s common sense. You got into some kind of trouble? Something weird happened with that guy? I never had a good feeling when you talked about him. There were always too many unanswered questions, too many holes in his life.”
Cindy didn’t like hearing Ann call Mattheus that guy.
“I didn’t get into any kind of trouble,” Cindy said. “Actually, I was about to move in with Mattheus - and then I thought better of it.”
“What?” Ann gasped. “Move in with him? In Grenada? That’s where you two met, right?”
“Yes, we worked together on the first case I ever had. He was on the police force at the time.”
Ann’s face turned white. “You’re not actually telling me that you were planning to live with him permanently in the Caribbean?”
“It’s not all that far away, Ann,” Cindy became defensive. “Planes go back and forth all the time. It’s only a couple of hours longer than visiting you in Wisconsin.”
“That’s not the point,” said Ann.
“What is the point?”
“People who move to the Caribbean are always running away from something.”
“That’s ridiculous,” said Cindy.
“Or they’re types that just want to hang out on the beach all day long.”
Cindy felt insulted. “We didn’t hang around on the beach all day. We were detectives Ann, we solved crimes together.”
Ann didn’t absorb a word Cindy said.
“Okay, when you met Mattheus you’d just been through a trauma, your judgment was off, Clint’s family was horrible to you. I could understand why you wanted to get away.”
“That’s a damning evaluation,” Cindy bristled. “I went down to Grenada for a reason – I was called there to help. And I did.”
Ann’s face soured. “I know, I read all the articles you sent me about what you achieved. I’m not making light of it.”
“You are.”
“No,” said Ann. ““I’m not taking anything away from your accomplishments, but this guy you got involved with, none of us has ever met him. We wondered why you were afraid to introduce him to us?”
“I wasn’t afraid, it just hadn’t happened yet. The time wasn’t right.”
“And, from what you told us,” Ann continued, single mindedly, “it sounded like he was running away from something, too. You have a history of bad judgment with guys, Cindy. You have to face that, now.”
Cindy felt maligned. She wondered for a moment if she should have allowed Ann to come and greet her at all.
Cindy,” Ann sat up straighter. “I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to have what you truly deserve. Is this the life you truly want? Chasing after murderers with an ex-cop at your side? What about family and children?”
“Of course I want family and children,” Cindy was stung to the core.
“Does Mattheus” Ann looked at her directly.
“We’ never discussed it,” Cindy said, realizing that for the first time.
Ann seemed truly aghast. “You’re telling me you were about to move in with a guy and you never discussed where your relationship was headed?”
“We were happy together,” said Cindy emphatically.
“What does happy mean?” Ann looked as if she were about to scream.
“We were happy, laughing, caring for each other,” Cindy spoke breathlessly, “he got who I was. I got him. We had long talks that meant a lot to me.”
“That’s not the whole story or you wouldn’t be home.”
“It’s never the whole story,” said Cindy. “Things come out later that can be shocking. They take time to digest.”
Ann held her hands out for Cindy’s. “Cindy, you’ve been through one catastrophe already, and now you have to rebuild your life. You can’t risk another disaster. You can’t afford to waste time with guys who come unhinged.”
Cindy bristled. It was painful to think of Mattheus as coming unhinged. And, it wasn’t the whole truth about him.
“You won’t be able to have children forever,” Ann went on, “and you don’t even know if he wants a family.”
“I loved him, Ann,” Cindy blurted out.
Ann looked alarmed. “Love is one thing,” she said, “and great sex in the Caribbean is something else. It could become a drug that helped you get over what happened.”
“That’s cruel, Ann,” said Cindy bitterly.
“No, it’s kind. The truth is always kind. What’s cruel is being dragged around in some kind of crazy dream.”
Ann always had a way of putting things that left Cindy silenced. There was always some truth to what she said - but not all.
Cindy shrugged lightly. “Well, I’m back anyway now, aren’t I?”
“I don’t know,” said Ann, “are you?”
*
The next day Ann insisted that the two of them go into town to freshen up Cindy’s wardrobe. A shopping expedition would hit the spot. The idea didn’t sound bad to Cindy, and she agreed.
She and Ann got into her car before noon and drove slowly into town. Cindy always enjoyed passing through the town of Cove Bay. It was a quaint suburb and the people in it were well-groomed, charming and reassuring, except for Clint’s family, of course. Cindy knew she should give them a call and let them know she was back in town. She didn’t want them to hear about it from somebody else, but she dreaded talking to them.
She and Ann drove past the large clock in the center of town and the small, charming, upscale shops and outdoor cafes that lined the streets. They passed Ben and Jerry’s, and found a parking spot on the street under an old, oak tree.
“We can shop for a while and then have lunch,” Ann was excited. “It’s autumn already and you’ll definitely need warm things for winter.”
Cindy let herself join in the festive atmosphere Ann was creating, but had no idea where she’d be when winter arrived. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stay here for a while, see if her old job was still open. It would give her time to sort things out. Ann was right. Cindy loved working on cases when they came along, but they also took a toll. Living so deeply in the dark under belly of the world, she needed time to come up for air, unwind, wipe away the dark clouds that covered her mind. She needed to re-group, be nourished and filled once again with the goodness of life. It was appalling that Mattheus couldn’t
understand that.
Cindy tried to get him out of her mind, but couldn’t. She’d been upset by the things he’d said about her, too. Did he resent having to take care of a woman, having a woman make a home for him? Cindy shivered. Her thoughts about him wandered all over the place now. What did Mattheus really feel about women? What had his relationship with his wife really been like? The shock of seeing the sudden change in him towards her set off all kinds of alarms. Cindy was proud that she left, she’d been self-protective. But there was no way she could discuss this with Ann. Ann would be totally horrified to hear these details, and she’d have a right to be.
The first shop Cindy and her sister walked into was a charming boutique, with dresses in Cindy’s size, slacks, sweaters, bags. Ann was delighted.
“We can find everything we need right here,” Ann said.
The lanky, well groomed, sales woman came over to greet them.
“We need dresses for the fall, some skirts and sweaters,” said Ann.
Cindy felt like a child being taken out by her mother. She smiled at the sales woman and held up her hand.
“Just a couple of items,” Cindy said.
“No, this is on me, Cindy,” Ann whispered. “I want to welcome you home.”
*
Three hours later as they returned in the car, their hands filled
with packages, Ann’s cheeks were flushed.
“Victory!” Ann exclaimed.
Cindy was grateful for her sister’s love and smiled at her warmly.
“You’re a wonderful sister, Ann, you always have been.”
“I wish I could stay here longer,” Ann whispered. “I want to support you in every way I can.”
The telephone rang then, startling both of them.
“Who can that be?” asked Cindy. “Nobody knows we’re here.” She picked up the phone quickly.
“You’re back, and you didn’t let us know? I can’t believe it,” the voice had an edge to it. It was Marge, Clint’s sister.
“I just returned,” said Cindy.
“My friend Tobey saw you and your sister shopping in town. Obviously, your sister had plenty of time to find out and join you. Why didn’t you call us?” Her voice was shrill, just as it always had been. Cindy shivered.
“Well, now you know that I’m here,” said Cindy.
“Don’t take an attitude with me,” Marge declared. “Is there some reason you chose to come back to Cove Bay now?”
“No particular reason,” said Cindy.
Cindy remembered the harsh, invasive behavior of Clint’s family. From the moment she’d met them, she’d been the enemy. They felt she was out to take away not only Clint, but everything they had. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but no one ever gave her a chance.
“We haven’t known where to even reach you for over a year,” Marge went on petulantly. “There was no way to let you know about dad’s funeral.”
Cindy grew quiet. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“How sorry could you really be if you kept completely out of touch? How do you think it looked when you didn’t show up at dad’s funeral? The whole town talked about it for days. So, now that the will’s being probated you think you can just return?”
Clint’s family was back to square one, money. It was all they ever thought about. Obviously Marge thought Cindy had come back to claim Clint’s portion of the inheritance.
Cindy bypassed her remarks. “When did your father pass away?” she asked.
“The funeral was two weeks ago,” Marge’s voice had a raspy tone. “It was an awful death. He suffered terribly, the drugs didn’t work. Mom is totally wrecked. She hasn’t even begun to recover. If she hears you’re back now, it’ll make things worse.”
“I’m sorry, Marge,” Cindy said. “I really am.”
“Why are you here? How long are staying?” Marge wouldn’t let go.
“I have no idea,” said Cindy.
*
Cindy sent a condolence basket to Clint’s family and did not receive a reply. Nothing had changed between them and Cindy had no desire to step back into the undercurrent of pain and resentment they lived in. They weren’t her family and never had been. Now that Clint was gone, there was nothing left, no child to bind them, no happy memories. There were no financial ties either. This house was hers, even though they initially tried to take it away. And now it was paid for in full. Cindy had received Clint’s life insurance as well. This kept her going beautifully. She had no interest in claiming Clint’s part of his father’s inheritance. Better to sever all ties to them she thought, and be on her own.
Ann stayed another three days. They were wonderful days, they went to the movies, and took long walks down near the water and shared old stories about growing up.
“Seems like you don’t want to talk about Mattheus,” Ann commented lightly at one point. “Whatever happened must still be quite raw and painful.”
“Yes, it is,” said Cindy, “I don’t want to talk about it at all.”
While Ann baked cookies, Cindy worked in the garden, planting autumn mums. Word got around town quickly that Cindy was back and to her surprise, she received a call from Al, Clint’s best man. He wanted to take her to dinner and find out how things had been. Even though Ann encouraged her to go, Cindy couldn’t bring herself to do it. Too much water had passed under the damn. It was surprising and relieving for her to realize that she no longer wanted or needed old ties to Clint. Life here would have been different with him, but he wasn’t here anymore and she had to find a way to move on. She had to find a place and life where she was welcome and fit in.
When it came time for Ann to leave, Cindy drove her to the airport, and promised to stay in close touch. As Ann walked through the gate, Cindy felt her stomach drop, as though a trusted anchor was floating away.
Cindy drove back slowly, taking detours and winding side roads, looking at the trees, homes and neighborhoods, wondering what she was doing here. Once she came to her house, she pulled up into the driveway and sat in the car. Did she really belong here anymore? Was she simply a ghost now, haunting old places, re-visiting old memories?
She got out of the car and went into the house. Cindy drifted through the rooms alone now, trying to gain her bearings. As she walked, her eyes fell on the beautiful bible the pastor, Tom Mallard, have given her after Clint passed. She went to the end table, picked it up and opened it randomly. To her amazement the page had one of the same passages that had she loved and that had struck her so forcefully before.
For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and what is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.
Cindy sat down and stared at the words as evening began falling. She shivered as she realized that the long, lonely nights of winter were close by. The passage she read was a perfect description of the work she’d been doing, the direction her life had taken her in. What were the chances that she’d open to exactly the same page that had meant so much to her then? What was it telling her about her life today?
CHAPTER 4
Early the next morning Cindy went out into the garden, first thing. Being close to the earth always calmed her and brought the insight she needed. She was going to put a decision about what to do next on back burner for now, and focus on planting autumn flowers.
As she scraped the earth in a soft rhythm, her cell phone rang. Cindy took it out of her pocked. It was probably Ann checking in to see how Cindy was doing. She looked forward to saying hello and thanking her again for being so wonderful.
“Cindy? Is that you?” To her horror it was Mattheus.
Cindy took a deep, painful breath. “Yes,” she said in a perfunctory, business like tone.
“Listen this is crazy,” Mattheus started. His voice sounded strange, a bit slurred.
Cindy had no desire to get into a conversation with him first thing in the morning. She had plans for the day. She wanted to stay calm.
“Mattheus, what are you calling about?”
“I want you to come back,” he said bluntly.
Cindy shivered. “Not now. I can’t.”
“You’re being stubborn and unreasonable,” he went on. “We’ve always gotten past our differences before.”
“What’s unreasonable about expecting you to keep your word?” Cindy flared up, as a cool breeze played with her face.
“Nothing,” he said, suddenly sorrowfully. “I said we’d have some time alone together. We did. I thought it was enough.”
Enough? Cindy had no idea what to do with that.
“You had your fill?” she asked flippantly.
“You’re building a case against me,” Mattheus’s voice sounded strained. “I just meant we always got excited to go out on a new case together.”
“Mattheus, I’m busy now, I have things to do.”
“Why are you being so stubborn?” He sounded exhausted.
“I’m not the one who was stubborn,” Cindy corrected him.
“Okay, you’re right,” he went on, sounding defeated. “Look, we’ve both had a hard time with love. We’ve made our mistakes. We’ve been defeated.”
What’s this, Cindy thought, a litany?
“You’re right about everything,” Mattheus persisted, “just please come back.”
There was no point in having this conversation now, Cindy thought.
She’d just barely returned. They both needed plenty of time to digest everything. What made the most sense was to hang up the phone.
“Mattheus, I have to go now,” said Cindy as she prepared to disconnect.
“Don’t hang up,” he called out in a hollow tone. “Wait a second. It’s not what you think.”
This was an awful way to start the day, Cindy started to feel agitated.
“We’ll talk about it later,” she said, “some other time.”
“Cindy. It’s urgent. I wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t. I have a new case. I need your help.”
“Mattheus, I need time. I’ve told you over and over again.”
“It’s not what you think,” he repeated roughly.
Something in the tone of his voice jarred Cindy. He didn’t sound like himself.
“What is it?” she said, exasperated.
“They’ve found Shelly’s body,” he could hardly get the words out. “I got a call late last night.”
“What?” An ice chill went through Cindy’s body. “They found your wife’s body?”
“In Key West, Florida, yesterday. She was brutally strangled. There were signs of a struggle. They’ve got all kinds of evidence. The case is being re-opened.”
“Oh my God, Mattheus!” Cindy was in shock. Mattheus had lived for the day they would find his wife’s killer. “They found her in Key West?” Cindy could barely breathe.
“Yeah. Who knew? The last place we expected. No one even looked there.”
Mattheus had gone over the details of the search with Cindy many times. He and his wife had lived in New Orleans and the search had taken place there within a hundred mile radius of their home. In the beginning there were leads and all kinds of theories, but nothing had panned out. It had been hard to get a beat on why someone would have wanted to kill Shelly. Friends all said that she and Mattheus had a wonderful marriage; they were beautiful, smart, fun, and gracious to all they knew.
The possibility of a robbery was quickly discounted, nothing in the home was missing and there was no sign of a break in. All sex offenders living in the area were checked and cleared. Shelly did have one girlfriend from college, Lana, who always hated her, but she was overseas at the time Shelly disappeared.
