by K E Osborn
“Yeah true.”
Ella walks in and Chad looks directly at her and I swear he’s smiling so wide it’s making me nervous. He obviously has a thing for Ella, that’s glaringly apparent right now, but I’ve never seen it before. It must be a new development. She walks past us without even looking at Chad and comes over next to me. She’s buried deep in her phone on Facebook or something.
“Ella, you doing okay?” I ask as I watch Chad’s frown while she sits down next to me.
She looks up finally and nods. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just ravenous,” she says and then goes back to her phone. I chuckle and shake my head, then glance back at Chad, who’s watching her with adoration in his eyes.
For fuck’s sake! Having two couples in the band is going to suck.
We all mess about in the green room until it’s time for us to go on stage. I’ve been messaging Indi throughout the night to see how she’s going and apparently she loves the other bands, but can’t wait to see me. It finally comes time for us to get ready to head out. We all walk down to the backstage area where everyone is congregated including all the parents. I don’t mind them being here, it’s nice that they support us.
I look around and call everyone over. “Right guys, let’s huddle in.”
“Good luck guys, we’re proud of you,” Colt calls out.
We move into our usual huddle and I prepare to give my pep talk.
“Okay guys, so listen up. It’s important to keep focused while we’re out there. Don’t dwell too much on the size of the crowd. It’s a big one so be prepared, but most of all have fun. Just play like we do at the manor and everything will be all Isle of Wight,” I say feeling genuinely excited.
They all laugh and the mood is high.
“Did you just use Cockney slang?” Ella asks, I smile and nod.
“Okay, arms in.” We all place our right hands in. “Altogether,” I say and then we shout out our mantra. We throw our right hands in the air and cheer as our parents laugh and clap at our silly ritual.
“Okay guys, we’re ready for you,” someone with a clipboard yells and all my nerves are washed over with pure adrenalin and excitement. The crowd is cheering and I shake my head as the others take off to get ready to go on stage. I pull out my phone and send another quick message.
Me: About to head on. This is crazy, the crowd are so loud!
I hit send and watch as Annie, Ella, Aston and Chad all walk up on stage and the crowd goes absolutely wild. I chuckle as the vibration of the noise moves through me making every inch of my body tingle. My phone vibrates and I look down at the message from Indi.
Indi: It’s amazing out here, Caleb. Good luck. But I know you won’t need it!
I smile and put the phone in my back pocket and roll my neck. I take a few deep breaths and move my lips as I hum and do some last minute voice warm-ups. The guys start to play and the music floods the venue while I jump up and down on the spot and shake my hands out trying to get the excitement to flow through me. I’m so hyped up that I can’t wait to get out there. I look back at Dad and he’s smiling and gives me the thumbs up. I nod and jump once more, then run up the stairs and onto the stage.
The crowd erupts even louder and I throw my hands in the air, cheering with them as I make my way to the microphone. I look over at Annie and she’s right in the zone. I turn to look at Ella and she looks sick but is going really well considering. Then I look out into the crowd at the sea of faces that I will be entertaining for the next hour. I honestly don’t think it could get any better than this! And knowing Indi is here somewhere only makes my heart race even harder.
I grab the microphone and start singing the first verse of ‘Don’t Mess With The Best’ and my voice has an edge to it tonight that I haven’t heard for a long time. I recognise it instantly. It’s the sound I make when Indi is around. It’s deep and I can see the girls in the front row already wanting to throw themselves at me. I sway to the music moving my body in a sexual way. The women love me, but there’s only one woman I’m performing for tonight.
The music is amping me up. This is one of my favourite songs. It’s a song Annie and I wrote together and it’s the perfect one to get the crowd warmed up. My blood is pumping fast and I feel slightly dizzy as the heat from the lights glare down on me. A bead of sweat tops my brow as the music flows straight through my soul setting every inch of me on fire. Music is what ignites me, and right now it’s making me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before. I live and breathe music and if I literally caught on fire right now, I wouldn’t mind because I’d be burning in the flames of my glory. Music is everything.
I sing my heart out and perform like it could be the last time. I know Indi is watching, I can feel her eyes on me. I know that sounds weird, but I can feel her presence in the room with me. There’s a buzz in the air. Like an electrical charge making all my senses heightened. I’m more attuned to the music and it’s helping with my performance. If I could jump into the sea of faces right now and crowd surf to the back of the room to be with Indi, I would. But I think crowd surfing at your first concert might be a little bit of an overkill.
The song is coming to an end and I sing the final verse and relief washes over me knowing that Indi is here to witness it all. I’m doing this all for her. The song concludes and I look out into the crowd and raise my hands in the air and as do the other band members and the crowd all cheer and stomp their feet. The place is going nuts and it’s all because of Staked. My band. They love us and right now I need to put my charm on and win this crowd over even more.
“Hello, London! We’re Staked, and we’re really honoured to have you here at our very first live show. We hope you enjoy how we rock it. Are we having a good time tonight?” I call out enthusiastically and move the microphone out to the audience and they all cheer and one girl even screams. I look down at her and she pulls off her top and throws it up on stage. I laugh hard and walk over and pick it up.
“Thanks for that, sweetheart,” I say and scrunch it up and put it in my back pocket. It’s nice that she’s throwing her clothes at me, but she’s not the woman I want throwing her clothes off around me.
I hope that doesn’t upset Indi!
She screams so loud that it makes me chuckle as security come over and start to lead her away.
“Right. Now if everyone else could please leave their clothes on for now…we can always take them off later,” I say in a very deep and sexy way. My eyes trying to find Indi in the room, I am saying this for her.
All the girls scream even louder if possible and I look back to the front of the crowd and a woman has fainted and the security guards are about to take her out.
Holy shit, women are fainting over me! This is utterly addictive!
I figure I better get on with the show before everyone calms down too much. I need them hyped up for this next song because it means so much to me. I wrote it about Indi and she has never heard it before. I need the crowd to love this song so Indi can see how much I still love her. How much I need her in my life, and how much of a blessing it is that she’s back finally letting me sing it to her, on a stage with ten thousand people watching on.
“This is our next song and it’s quite dear to my heart. I wrote it with my awesome cuz over there. Say hi, Annie,” I say looking at her, she laughs and waves. “Anyway this is about someone special I know, and hopefully she knows it’s about her. This is called ‘Saving Grace.’”
Caleb’s voice is even better than when I heard it last when we were seventeen. He has really learned control and it’s so deep and manly that it’s setting a blazing inferno inside of me that is making it hard for me to breathe. I feel drawn to him. Like I just want to walk up to the stage and feel the current up close. Because, from back here, it’s strong and surging so forcefully that it’s taking every effort for me not to start walking toward him. He’s like a magnet and I am being pulled by the attraction. The only reason I’m not moving is because I hate crowds and walking through all those p
eople is not something I can do easily.
I honestly cannot wait to talk to him after the show, but at the same time I can’t help but feel a little disheartened by the way Caleb is acting with the crowd. But then again, I know it’s all part of the rock and roll persona he has to portray, all part of his act. He needs the girls to love him, and by the way that woman threw her top at him, they clearly do. Don’t get me wrong, I see the appeal, I have since I met him, and that’s how I know he will be an incredible rock star.
This is the first anyone has seen of Staked and girls are fainting already and they don’t even know their songs. I knew Caleb was going to make it huge one day, and tonight standing at the back of this packed hall only tells me that I was right. Caleb is going to be massive, and that unsettles me. How can I have a friendship with him if he’s going to be so famous and jet-setting all around the world? Don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more than to spend some more time with him, but I’m being realistic. How long is it going to be before he starts his world tour and then I won’t see him for six months at a time? Maybe this was a bad idea coming here? Maybe I should have just left well enough alone. The problem is he’s like an addiction, and I can’t seem to get him out of my system. I need to stay and listen to his concert, I owe him that much.
“Anyway, this is about someone special I know, and hopefully she knows it’s about her. This is called ‘Saving Grace,’” Caleb says snapping me out of my thoughts. I tense up, hoping he’s not talking about me.
The music starts and it’s a slow song with a lot of bass. The tune is catchy, and I know before hearing any of the lyrics that this song will be huge for Staked.
There’s a time in all our lives,
When the one you know,
You’re meant to be with,
Steps up into your heart.
She came in like an angel,
Saving me from my fate of hatred,
And she pulled me into the light.
I’ve known her for so long,
The lines are all blurred,
Is she a friend or will she,
Set me free like a bird?
She set my heart and soul free,
Being with her is meant to be.
I was broken and wounded,
Without her, I was confused,
Alone and sad and lost without hope,
She guided me through the dark.
And I know that she’s my saving grace,
She came right from another place,
And fell straight, into my heart,
I loved her from the start!
My saving grace. My saving grace.
I can’t believe how we fit together,
It’s definitely meant to be.
But she left and now I’m broken,
So many words were left unspoken.
She was my glimmer of hope,
And she left with no note,
The light now extinguished,
Only a void lives here now.
How could I go on?
The memory so strong,
She evaded my senses but,
In my mind, she lived on.
I can’t believe she left me,
I need her so much.
She is my light, my life,
And I can’t live without her.
I keep your picture with me,
A reminder of how we were.
And in the dark I must remember,
That I know she’s my saving grace.
She came right from another place,
And fell straight, into my heart,
I loved her from the start!
My saving grace. My saving grace.
My saving grace left me wounded,
But the time we had together,
Is enough to keep me sane,
But only barely as your memory remains.
I love you dearly,
I mean that sincerely,
And if I ever see you again,
I want you to know.
That you’re my saving grace,
You came right from another place,
And fell straight, into my heart,
I loved you from the start!
My saving grace. My saving grace.
In my heart, I see only your face,
My saving grace.
My saving grace.
He ends the song and I hadn’t noticed, but I’ve stopped breathing. My eyes flood with tears as he sings the history of us, and I can’t help but get lost in the emotion of it all. I bring my hand to my mouth to try and hide the sobs escaping me. He looks up at the end of the song and seems like he’s searching the crowd. My heart is racing, I can’t believe that I haven’t passed out. I stagger on the spot and the person next to me looks at me like I’m losing my mind. And I think maybe I am!
I feel terrible. He sounded so broken when I left, especially for him to write this song about us. I love him and I wonder if maybe he still loves me too.
Can I trust him? No, not after what he said at the hospital to Annie. He told her I was no one. He made love to me, and then kissed someone else all those years ago and I know his career is only just starting, but he’s going to have women throwing themselves at him.
Maybe it is best if I go?
I can’t imagine being able to stand around and watch said women throw themselves at him all the time and be all right with that. I can’t be here. I start to walk out of the venue and toward my car. I don’t want to get attached to Caleb again just to have him break my heart when he cheats on me. He’s going to be a star, and there will be ample opportunities for him to be with any woman he wants.
Why would he give that all up for me?
And would I want him too?
The answer is a firm no.
He needs to live the life he’s chosen, and I need to live mine and forget about Caleb McCormack-Slade because it’s only a matter of time before he forgets all about Indica Malone.
I run off the stage and down the stairs on a high, a high so powerful that I feel like I’m floating down them. I notice Dad first and he’s standing with Mum, they’re both smiling as I rush down the stairs. I race over to Dad and he grips my back embracing me so strongly I can barely breathe.
“I’m so proud of you son,” Dad says and leans in kissing me on the cheek.
I laugh and wipe it away.
“What’s with the kiss?”
Mum laughs as she pulls me in squishing me.
“Oh yuck. You’re all sweaty, get off me,” Mum says and this time Dad laughs.
“So how was it?” Dad asks and I throw my head back and take a deep breath and then look back at him.
“It was everything I’d ever thought and wished for, and then some. Now I understand what you mean about feeling like you’re the king of the world up there. Did you see that chick throw her top at me?”
“Yeah, I paid her to do that,” he says and Mum scoffs and slaps his chest.
“He did not! Don’t listen to him, darling. You did so well. I’m such a proud Mumma at the moment, Caleb. You belong on that stage.”
“Yeah mate, you did a fantastic job. You’re better than Colt,” he says and I laugh loudly.
“I don’t think anyone could be better than Colt, Dad, but I’m going to tell him you said that,” I tease and Dad rolls his eyes.
“Great, I’m never going to hear the end of that now.”
“This was amazing, and I never could have done it without you. So thank you,” I admit trying to be serious.
“Hey, it was my pleasure, and anyway you have done all the hard work. It’s nice to see it finally paying off. You’re gonna be great at this, Caleb. I can feel it,” he says holding me at an arm’s length and patting my shoulders. “I really am proud of you.”
I swallow hard, hearing that from him makes me feel like I’m doing something right.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Now go off and get ready for your first after-party. It will be a calm one, but I know you’ll h
ave fun,” he says.
I nod and smile, then turn to walk toward the green room. I’m feeling utter elation and all I want to do is find Indi. The crowd is still out there, so I pull out my phone and send her a text.
Me: Hey Indi, what did you think? I’m in the green room and if you want to come back here, I’ll have someone escort you in. Just let me know. Otherwise, I’ll come to you when the crowd thins a bit more :)
I hit send and walk down the hall toward the green room. Walking inside everyone is jubilant and excited. We all did so well and I don’t think we could have performed better if we tried. I make my way to the fridge and grab a bottle of cold water and drink half the bottle in one go. It’s thirsty work singing and with all the heat from the lights it makes it pretty damn oppressively hot up there on stage. I walk across to the lounge suite and take a seat just reveling in the atmosphere that was the last hour of my life.
I sang to my first crowd. I sang to Indi, and honestly, I can’t wait to see her. She hasn’t written back yet and I think maybe she didn’t hear the text message tone over the crowd, but she might feel the vibration of the phone if I call. I pick up my phone again and dial her number. With each ring, I get more and more excited to hear her thoughts about my performance. Even just to see what she thinks of the band. Her opinion really matters to me and I just hope she liked it.
It continues to ring and ring until the call ends. I furrow my brows and figure she just can’t hear the phone over the evacuating crowd. I’ll leave it for a bit and then try her again.
I wait ten minutes and send her another text and still nothing. I’m worried as to why she isn’t replying to me or answering my calls. Maybe she’s in the bathroom or something?
Lia said that Annie and Ella went to have a shower before the after-party and I figure that’s a terrific idea too. I go with Aston down toward the shower block and wash away the sweat from the concert. I don’t want to be disgusting when I hug Indi, I want to smell nice and not cover her in my smelly bodily fluids unless it’s a different kind of bodily fluid.
