by K E Osborn
I’m standing here in shock, my entire body feels numb and I can’t actually move.
“Well Caleb, silly, say something,” she says.
I try hard through my seething to remember that I’m in a public place and I really don’t want to be arrested for assault or cause a scene.
“Sasha, what the hell are you doing here?” I ask and Ryan looks at me raising an eyebrow.
“Dude, what the hell? You know her?” he asks.
I nod my head as she giggles and presses some buttons on her phone.
“What are you doing?” I ask and she smiles and keeps playing with her phone.
“Sasha!” I yell. She jumps and looks at me while Ryan is busy trying to assess the situation.
“I’m posting our photo to Facebook,” she says and my entire body starts to shake with rage. I haven’t felt like this since the last time Sasha was in my presence.
“Fucking, no way. Take that photo down right now, Sasha,” I demand. She frowns and Ryan looks at me and throws his hands in the air.
“Fuck this lover’s tiff, I’m out,” he says walking away.
“Sasha, you delete that right now, or so help me God I won’t be held accountable for my actions,” I say and she huffs and rolls her eyes.
“Fine!” she replies and I watch as she deletes the post from Facebook.
“Thank you. Now I don’t know what fucked up game you’re playing or why the hell you’ve chosen now to come back, but please, leave me the hell alone and don’t come back. If you come near me again, I’ll have no alternative but to have you forcibly removed,” I tell her and she scowls and rolls her eyes.
“Whatever,” she replies while leaning in behind me and toward the bar.
“Just remember the fun times we could have had, Caleb. You’re throwing away a good thing, for what? For Indi? I know you’re still seeing her, even though you want everyone to think you’re not,” she whispers in my ear and then kisses my cheek. I flinch back and scowl.
“Don’t you dare even talk about her! You have no right, you crazy arse freak. Just stay the hell away from me,” I say and turn walking away from her. I put my hands into my pockets and walk straight out of the VIP area and down the stairs to get a chauffeured car to the hotel. I’m stewing, I’m so fucking angry that she’s here and she took a photo with me. If Indi saw it, it could ruin everything. I can’t have that happen. Reaching into my back pocket to pull out my phone and the realisation hits me that I left it on the bar.
“Fuck!” I murmur. I race back inside and up to the VIP area and across to the bar. My phone isn’t there and I have no idea what to do now. The bartender comes up to me as I check around the floor in case it fell.
“Everything okay, sir?” he asks.
“Umm, not really. Has anyone handed in a mobile phone?”
He smiles and nods. “Yes, just a few moments ago. I’ll grab it for you,” he says and relief floods my veins. I would hate for Indi to call and for me to have no way to tell her I had lost my phone.
I’m missing Caleb like crazy, but the wait now is only two weeks before I get to see him again, thank God. But he calls and Skypes and emails me all the time with photographs from the concerts and pictures of everyone. His hair is getting so long and I can’t wait to run my hands through it. It’s nice having this part of Caleb all to myself. It’s awesome being the secret girlfriend that the paparazzi don’t know exists and that only his family and friends do. I’m on break and I’m running through my emails on my phone when one from Caleb comes through.
To: Indica Malone
From: Caleb McCormack-Slade
Subject: Having such a great time ;)
I smile at the winky face on his subject tag line but then when I open the attachment my heart plummets to the floor. And then while it’s on the floor bleeding out it is pumping so fast that all the life inside of me is slowly escaping through every pore. I feel like I can’t breathe as I stare at a photograph of Caleb and Sasha hanging off of him, with her tits hanging out of her top and her lips firmly planted on his.
We discussed this. Sasha was a no-go for us. She’s a hard limit and for him to be emailing me a picture like this with the subject line, ‘Having such a great time’ well this is a new low even for him.
I feel physically ill.
I don’t understand this at all.
Have I done something to him? Have I treated him badly? Or is being away from me for so long made him forget about our rules?
Sasha is a deal breaker.
This is a deal breaker.
And right now I can’t hardly think straight as my eyes well with tears and my throat burns with acid. My stomach churns and I have no idea what I’m meant to do right now. I still have five hours of my shift left to work, but there’s no way I can, not now. So I make my way back to Ingrid, who’s my Duty Nurse for tonight. I shake violently trying to keep the bile down in my throat as I approach her.
“Shit Indi, are you okay?” she asks rushing to me.
I shake my head as I try not to gag.
“Do you need a doctor?” she asks.
I shake my head as my eyes well with tears and I try my hardest to fight them back.
“Okay, well, I think you need to go home. Are you okay to drive?” she asks.
I nod as she picks up my handbag and gives it to me. “Look, I don’t know what’s just happened, but I hope it works out,” she says. I nod and turn rushing out of the emergency ward and toward the exit so I can get to my car.
I’m barely holding it together as I’m shaking so much that my bones are rattling. I honestly don’t know if I should be driving, but I need to get out of here. My hands tremble as I try to pull my keys from my bag, but I can’t even open it. I’m fighting the tears as hard as I can, but the seal breaks and the hot salt water runs down my face and I start to sob. My body falls limp against my car and I cry into my hands as my body heaves from the violent sobbing. I can’t stay on my feet any longer as my knees begin to shake. My body slides down the side of my car and I end up in a ball on the concrete by the side of my car.
I’m lying on the concrete in the fresh Autumn frost, for I don’t even know how long when I hear my phone start to ring. I gather enough energy to pull myself up to lean against the car and even though I’m still shaking. I swipe the phone and answer the call, even though he’s the last person I want to hear from right now.
“What?” I whisper and there’s a short pause.
“Indi, baby, are you crying?” he asks and I want to yell at him. I want to punch his gorgeous face, but most of all I want him to hold me, to feel his arms around me. It’s been so long I can’t remember what it’s like.
“Why would you send that to me?” I ask.
“What?” he asks and I roll my eyes.
“The picture of you and Sasha, Caleb. Don’t play dumb. Are you sleeping with her again?” I ask blubbering through my sobs.
“What? God no. I wouldn’t go near her—”
“Yeah right. If you wouldn’t go near her then why did I have a photo of the two of you all cosy sent to my email, Caleb?” I ask and he’s quiet making my heart thump a little harder.
“I didn’t send it, Indi. I swear. I left my phone on the bar—”
“But why did you have a photo with Sasha? Why is she even there in the first place?” I ask starting to feel infuriated.
“I didn’t know she was here, baby. She hijacked me I swear, she jumped on me and kissed me. You know I wouldn’t have done this to you. Indi, you know me—”
“That’s the problem, Caleb, I do know you. You are a man-whore and I should’ve known that you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”
“Hey stop that. I was a man-whore, but that’s all in the past. I belong to you now. There’s no way I’m sleeping with any woman on this tour, baby. I swear I love you, Indi. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he says desperately.
I believe him. I know he’s not sleeping with her, he wouldn’t do that.
; “Sorry, I know you’re not sleeping with her, but she was a rule, Caleb. A hard limit, remember? Remember what I said about her? Remember that I said if anything came up with her it would be the end of us?”
“Caleb, come back to bed,” I hear a woman’s voice and I sit up taller and gasp.
“What the?” he says and my eyes open so wide I think they’re going to explode out of my head.
“Caleb?” I whisper and I hear a kerfuffle.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” he says muffling the phone, but I listen intently.
“I came over like you asked me too, babe. Let’s get naked again and do it in the shower this time,” I hear a woman say.
My mouth opens wide and I start to cry. How could he?
“Fuck! Shut up, Sasha, and get the fuck out of here.”
I shake my head, trying to rid the imagery and the ringing in my ears which is so loud it’s piercing my ear drums. I’ve heard enough and I hang up the phone. Anger surges through me like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I flame red hot and stand up with clenched fists, so forcefully my nails dig into my palms and the warmth of blood trickles down my skin. My breathing is rushed and harsh through my nostrils and I’m not sure if I’m actually getting any air in. I can’t contain my emotions any longer as I let out an almighty scream and punch the rear driver’s side window of my car smashing it into pieces and cutting my hand in the process. The shards of glass splintering my skin taking some of the edge off the pain I’m feeling. Right now, I need to get home and find a way to forget all about Caleb McCormack-Slade once and for all!
Sasha throws herself at me and I muffle the phone so Indi can’t hear as I push at Sasha with my free hand to get her away from me. I’m so incensed that I don’t even care that we’re in the hallway of the hotel. I’ll make a scene if I have to, to get Indi back. She comes at me again and I drive her back, but she just laughs as I bring the phone back up to my ear.
“Indi, baby, I swear she’s just trying to cause trouble…Indi? Are you there?” I ask and all I hear is a deathly silence. My anger bubbles to the surface and I clench my fists as tightly as possible.
“Get. Away. From. Me!” I say softly and succinctly, but with a harsh fierceness that makes me want to rip Sasha’s throat out.
“Awe, did little princess Indi hang up?” Sasha asks.
I race forward and grab her wrists in my hands tightly letting her know I mean business.
“Don’t you even say her name! Now fuck off before I can’t control my rage anymore,” I say and she frowns and yanks her wrists free from my grip.
“Fine, but one day, Caleb, I will have you.”
“I swear to God, Sasha, if you come near me or Indi again, I will kill you. Don’t put it past me. I would do anything for Indi and if that meant spending a life sentence in prison just so she would be rid of you, then I’d gladly serve my time,” I say meaning every word.
“You don’t have the guts to kill anyone, Caleb,” she says and I shake my head and scowl.
“Try me.”
“You know that time we slept together and it caused all kinds of problems for you and Miss Indi?” she says with a stupid grin on her face. “Well, we never actually slept together. You rang, said you needed someone to talk to and for me to bring more alcohol, so I did. I got you so drunk you wouldn’t remember. I ended up getting you naked, planted a condom with moisturiser in it and made it look like we had sex so you would keep seeing me. I’m absolutely positive you couldn’t have gotten it up even if you wanted to have sex with me, which at the time, you swore you didn’t. You were all about how much you loved your precious Indi. I thought it was rude to call me up and invite me over to talk about another girl, so I set you up. Then you did it to me again, rang me up wanting to talk. So, in return, I wanted to fuck up your life for treating me so badly. So tell me, Caleb, do you have the guts to kill someone?” she asks.
Hatred burns in me so blistering hot that I lunge forward slamming her against the wall. Dropping my phone, I bring my hands up around her tiny little fucking throat and squeeze so tight I can’t control myself. She gasps for air and claws at my hands. I smile feeling the rush of her pain, the pain I know Indi would be feeling right now, and the pain she’s caused us in the past. I know I’m not of sound mind, but I need to prove to Sasha that this shit can’t happen again. I tighten my hands around her neck. Feeling the life fading from her is giving me immense pleasure. Her eyes bulge out of her eye sockets and she starts to kick her legs around.
“Caleb,” she gasps out hardly audible as she scratches at my hands. I lift her higher off the ground and bring my face so close to hers as I glare into her eyes watching her terror as she looks back at me. Her lips start to turn blue and her eyes roll into the back of her head and watching this snaps me out of my trance and I let her go. She falls into a heap on the floor and scurries away from me like the fucking slut that she is.
“Believe me now, Sasha?” I ask through gritted teeth as I breathe heavily trying not to lose my shit completely in front of her. She nods and brings her hands to her throat as she gasps for air.
“Now stay the hell away from us. Forever! You got me? Or next time I won’t stop.” I take a step toward her, she flinches and nods her head emphatically. “Now get the fuck away from me,” I demand and she scurries up and runs toward the elevator and presses the button frantically while she gasps for air.
I take a deep breath and run my hand through my hair. I can’t believe I just did that, but at the time it seemed like the only way to make her see sense. It will probably be spread all over the papers in an hour, but I don’t care, all I care about right now is getting to Indi. I watch as she steps into the elevator and leaves. I bend down picking up my phone as I try to control my breathing. I can’t believe how far I let that get. I was so angry. Mainly because she let me believe I had slept with her, and for everything that happened with Indi because of that lie is just a fucking joke. Sasha is a joke and if she comes near me again, that is if I’m not arrested in half an hour for assault, then I swear I’m getting the cops involved even if it means I’m arrested for choking her. I can’t have someone like her near Indi, and who knows what she’s capable of. She’s one crazy mixed up clunge that’s for sure.
I grab my key card from my pocket and swipe it. After walking in I dial Indi’s number, but it rings out. I sit down on the bed and dial again, but it rings out once more.
“Fuck!”
I dial again and still nothing so I stand and pace the floor. I have no idea what to do other than to leave the tour and go and find Indi so I can explain absolutely everything. I can’t believe Sasha set me up like that? Making me think I’d slept with her by planting a fake condom on the bedside table? What a complete fucktard! I dial Indi one more time, all the while my heart is thrashing so fast I can hardly think straight. I need to talk to her like I need my last breath. I need her to pick up the damned phone. This time it doesn’t even ring and goes straight to voicemail.
She’s turned her phone off.
“For fuck’s sake!” I yell and pick up the bedside lamp and throw it at the wall. It shatters and hearing the sound of the glass fracture only makes me want more. I race forward to the desk and pick up the chair and smash it against the wall. The timber splintering into fragments is just like my heart knowing that Indi has probably given up on us already. I grab the small ornaments off the television cabinet and throw them at the floor to ceiling mirror and watch as they all smash and collide on the floor cascading in beautiful patterns of shattered glass all around the room.
I need to get out of here.
I need to go to Indi.
I need to go now.
I don’t bother to pack, I don’t need anything. The flight from here to London, if I take the band's jet, will only take a couple of hours give or take. I need to leave now because having her stew on this for nearly two hours is unacceptable and knowing Indi the way I do she will leave if she hasn’t already.
I walk out of my trashed hotel room and down to Dad’s room. He may not even be back from the after-party yet, but I need to let him know I’m leaving. I knock harshly on his door.
“Dad,” I call out and seconds later he answers with a scowl and glare.
“Caleb, shut up! You’ll wake everyone,” he says.
I shake my head and flare my nostrils in anger. “I don’t give a fuck. I’m leaving, just thought I’d let you know,” I say and turn to walk away.
He reaches out and grabs my arm. “What do you mean you’re leaving?” he asks and pulls me back to face him.
“Sasha came back and ruined everything. I need to get to Indi Dad before it’s too late,” I say and he takes a deep breath.
“Okay, just take a second and tell me what happened will you?”
“Sasha came to the after-party, took a photo of me when I wasn’t expecting it. Sent it to Indi. Indi said that if she ever saw me with Sasha again we would be done no questions asked, and now Indi won’t answer my calls. I have to get to her, Dad. I can’t let her think that I knew Sasha was here, and that I was…I just…I can’t let her think…fuck! Dad, she’s going to be so upset and I need to talk to her. I need to tell her that I love her. I need to make sure we’re okay because I can’t have gone the last four months without seeing her only for her take flight again, Dad, and you know she will. I’ll get back to London and she’ll be gone, and I can’t do it. I can’t...Fuck!” I yell and tighten my hand into a fist and slam it into the wall leaving a gaping hole. Dad huffs and grabs my hand trying to calm me, but my heart is breaking and I feel like I’m losing my shit as I shake my hands attempting to rid myself of the nervous tension I’m carrying.
“Then I strangled Sasha. Dad, I nearly killed her. And you know what, I liked it. I mean what kind of fucked up shit is that?” I murmur.
Dad grabs me by my shoulder and turns me to look at him. “What are you talking about?” he asks sternly.
“Sasha, she’s going to report me to the cops. I nearly killed her, Dad,” I say and he looks down the hall and pulls me into his room.
