by K E Osborn
I walk in and take a seat in my usual booth up the front of the shop. I look over to see Mick making coffee as usual and I smile as I look over his handsome features. He isn’t as good looking as Caleb. He’s about the same height as me with red hair and a five o’clock shadow. His hair is short and he’s practically the total opposite of Caleb in every way. Mick looks like a clean-cut boy. Well, to be honest, more like a computer nerd. Whereas Caleb is your typical bad boy rocker. The two couldn’t be further apart.
Mick looks over and notices me, he smiles brightly bringing his hand up and waving. I smile and wave back and he blows me a kiss and then goes back to work. That cute little gesture should have set my heart a flutter, but it didn’t, which only makes me feel guilty. I shake my head as I look at him and wonder if I should call this off with him. Leading him on isn’t right for either of us, but he makes me smile and laugh.
Is that enough? To pretend that you should love them back? I told Mick I love him, but it was a lie. I didn’t want him to feel bad telling me he loves me all the time and me not saying it back, so I lie to him. He knows I was hurt, but he doesn’t know by who. He knows I’m guarded and he is patient with me. He’s been patient and I know I should give this more time.
I could grow to love him, right?
I just need to let go of Caleb. I need to stop reminding myself of what I had and comparing Mick to him because he could never compare. Caleb was my first and only true love and nothing compares to that.
I need to let go.
I take a deep breath when suddenly everything inside of my body starts to tingle. My body begins to tremble and the hairs on my arms stand to attention. I know this feeling, it’s how I feel whenever Caleb is around. I shoot my head around and see him walking into the coffee shop with Aston and some redhead, and a couple of guys dressed all in black must be their security detail. I duck down and try to hide from him as my heart races so fast I can’t breathe, but as I move downward I knock a metal napkin holder onto the ground and it crashes to the floor gaining his attention.
He looks over and our eyes meet. And as he looks into my eyes it’s like there are sparks shooting off in every direction setting the room on fire and we’re trapped in a flaming inferno. I stand up at the edge of the booth as he stares at me looking so lost. His eyes are pleading with me to go to him as his chest heaves with harsh breaths. Aston grabs his arm and whispers in his ear while my ears are ringing so loudly that all I can hear is the blood rushing through my own veins. I can’t believe he’s here and after three months of being broken up and seven months of not seeing him my knees are feeling weak looking at his gorgeous features. Caleb shakes his head to whatever Aston says and breaks free from him as he walks across to me with such determination, I have to grab hold of the booth before my legs give way and I collapse onto the floor.
“Indi,” he says my name and it’s like music to my ears. God, I’ve missed him. “Indi is that really you?” he asks and takes me into his strong arms. I’m utterly powerless against him.
“Caleb?” I ask slightly breathless from seeing him and also from his tight grip on me.
“Oh, baby, where have you been? I swear I didn’t sleep with Sasha…” As soon as I hear her name I tune out and a blank stare crosses my face as my rage starts to boil over.
“How could you? She was a hard limit, Caleb,” I whisper and he stops talking.
“I just told you Indi, I didn’t—”
“And I’m meant to believe you?”
“Yes, Indi, I swear. I never did anything with Sasha on tour.”
“I don’t believe you!” I yell and he takes a step back at my sudden outburst.
“You ruined me, Caleb.”
I notice Mick coming over to see what’s going on.
“Indi, I—”
“You okay, Indica?” Mick asks. I nod and step past Caleb to walk away.
“What’s it to you punk?” Caleb asks and reaches out for me as I pass.
“Hey, get your hands off her!” Mick says and pulls me from Caleb to him. I mourn the loss of Caleb’s hands on me as soon as they fall.
“And who the fuck are you? Indi, c’mon talk to me, please,” Caleb says and Mick pulls me behind him.
“I’m her fucking boyfriend, cowboy, so back the fuck off and leave before I call the police,” Mick says.
My stomach twists as I watch Caleb’s face drop like he’s in agony.
“Boyfriend? Mick, right?” he whispers looking at Micks name tag then looks at me with his eyes welling.
“Yeah,” Mick says and stares at Caleb.
“So is that Mick the dick, or Mick the prick? How about Indi gives Mick the flick?” Caleb says and I shake my head and glare.
“Shut up, dickhead,” Mick replies and I put my hand on his chest to placate him.
“Indi, please,” Caleb says and I shake my head.
“I can’t, Caleb,” I say and turn to walk out the back door.
“No, Indi, wait,” Caleb says and rushes forward toward me. Aston and the security guards move to Caleb as Mick steps in the way.
“Leave her alone,” Mick says and Caleb laughs and shakes his head leaning forward and pushing Mick in the chest.
“Or what?” Caleb asks and I roll my eyes.
“Caleb, stop it!”
Mick pushes Caleb back. “Or you’ll have me to deal with,” Mick says.
I step forward, but it is too late. Caleb balls his fist and swings, punching Mick right in the jaw. A female customer screams while Aston pulls Caleb away from Mick as the security guards step in between them and I squat down beside Mick to see if he’s okay.
“You know this guy, Indica?”
“He calls you, Indica? You hate that,” Caleb says and Mick looks at me and furrows his brows.
“You do?” he asks and I exhale and nod.
“Yeah, I really do,” I say and stand up walking over to Caleb.
“You can’t come in here and do this to my friend,” I say in his face, angry that he’s making a scene.
He grabs either side of my face and looks right into my eyes. “I love you, Indi. I would do anything for you!”
“Sometimes that just isn’t enough, Caleb,” I whisper as he inches closer to my face.
“Sometimes, Indi, it is,” he says and leans in suddenly kissing me.
“Indica?” I hear Mick say, but I’m too lost in the emotion of kissing Caleb again. No one kisses like he does, and right now even though I’m trying to fight him with everything I have…
I am failing.
Miserably.
I pull back from Caleb’s kiss and I’m completely breathless as I look into his eyes. They’re full of love and devotion and I swear nothing in them has changed from the last time I saw them.
“Caleb, I—”
“Indi, I tried to let you go. I wanted to see you happy. I wanted you to have a normal life. I had no idea you would be here today, and I’m sorry I punched your boy…Mick, but I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else. I tried to move on. I tried to date, but I just ended up in tears over you. I love you so fucking much, Indi. Please, I need you. I just needed some normality today, I just wanted a coffee something normal and seeing you here is a sign. I heard your song on the radio as I left to come here. Indi, I need to tell you everything, please give me the chance to explain. Give me that much?” he asks and I realise the entire coffee shop is watching us as I stand here locked in his arms. My body’s pressed against his while Mick is on the floor being held down by Staked security. I swallow a lump in my throat taking a step back from Caleb trying to gain some reality back into my shattered brain.
“Caleb, you can’t just come in here and kiss me,” I say and he exhales and nods.
“Sorry. And sorry Mick for punching you. Jealousy is a bitch,” Caleb says and Mick stands up and opens his eyes wide like he just realises who he’s talking to.
“Indica, is your ex the lead singer from Staked?” he asks.
“Yeah,�
�� I say and he furrows his brows and shakes his head.
“Shit,” he murmurs.
I swallow hard as I watch Mick’s face fall like he realises he can’t compete. “But I love you. You said you loved me too—”
“Wait you love him?” Caleb interrupts.
“No, it’s not like that—”
“You don’t love me?” Mick asks sounding hurt.
I look between him and Caleb, who now both look miserable.
“Mick, it’s not that I don’t love you—”
“So you do?” they both ask and I swallow hard and shake my head.
“No, I’m sorry, Mick. I tried. I tried desperately hard to love you. I wanted to. You’ve been so perfect and wonderful and just what I needed—”
“What, so I was only there to fill the gap?” he asks as his face falls and Caleb’s brightens slightly.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been so horrible. I was trying to get over him. I thought I was—”
“So you’re not? Over me I mean?” Caleb asks and I look at him and take a deep breath as I look into his eyes and see nothing but love and adoration flowing right back at me.
“I don’t think I could ever be over you,” I reply and he smiles widely and pulls me to him embracing me tightly.
“I’ve missed you so much, my sweet Indi.”
His tight, strong arms encase me giving me the feeling that I’m alive again. I feel like I’m buzzing with energy, something I haven’t felt for so long. I’d forgotten what it felt like. I feel like I’m safe, I feel like I’m warm…I feel like I’m home.
“Indica, you expect me to be okay with this?” Mick asks and I pull away from Caleb not wanting to show too much affection toward him in front of Mick for the sake of his feelings.
“Don’t call her that, she hates it,” Caleb says.
I turn back toward him and scowl and he furrows his brows and backs off.
“I’m very sorry, Mick. I know this is terrible and I’m sorry this happened here. I honestly had no idea Caleb would come in here, or that if he did that I would fall back into his arms so easily. I honestly never thought that I’d be able to function being near him again, but now that he’s here everything feels right. I’m sorry, I’m hurting you. I’m sorry, I’m doing this to you. I’m sorry, I led you on. I’m sorry, I told you I loved you when I didn’t feel it. I’m sorry, for it all,” I say and step up to him taking his hands in mine. “I’m extremely sorry, Mick. I know no matter how many times I say the word it will not make up for what I’ve done to you,” I say and he huffs pulling his hands from mine forcefully.
“Well, it’s a bit late for that isn’t it? You broke my heart, Indica. I fucking loved you. Please get out of my shop, and take your rock stars with you,” he says turning away from me while rubbing his bruised jaw. The other guests in the shop are watching on as I turn back to face Caleb. Aston walks over to the redhead and cuddles into her.
That’s new, she certainly isn’t Annie!
“I’m sorry about, Mick,” Caleb says as the people in the shop start to go back about their business.
I shrug. “It wasn’t serious. Plus, I kinda had my heart set on someone else,” I say and Caleb smiles.
“Anyone I know?”
I smile and lean in wrapping my arms around his waist. “Nah, just some rock star,” I say and he smiles wide and leans down kissing my lips tenderly.
“There’s so much I need to tell you,” he murmurs against my lips.
“If you’ll have me back, I’d like you to tell me everything. I’m sick of taking flight every time something doesn’t go my way. I'm tired of being stubborn, but more than anything I've had enough of running from you when I should be running to you. It’s difficult being with you, but it’s so much harder not being with you, Caleb. I don’t think I can do it anymore.”
“I love you, Indi. I can assure you that never stopped. I only stopped trying because I thought you were better off without me. But if you’ve been as unhappy as I’ve been then maybe the heartache when we’re together is worth it. I prefer it to the misery of being apart?”
“I don’t want to be without you, Caleb, not for another second,” I say. “I don’t even care about Sasha.”
“That’s one crazy story I need to tell you about, but over dinner?”
“I’d love that,” I say then he leans down kissing my lips softly.
“I hate to break up this reunion, but I just heard someone say they’re gonna start videoing this, so we better get out of here,” the girl with Aston says.
I break away from Caleb and nod. “Thanks,” I reply because I don’t want to be in the tabloids again. Caleb grabs my hand and we all walk out of the coffee shop briskly. Once we get to the curb, I look back into to the shop to see Mick looking out the window and watching me intently. I feel really appalling, but it was never going to end well for poor Mick. And I do feel terribly guilty for my part in hurting him.
“Hey,” Caleb says placing his thumb under my chin and forcing me to look at him. “Don’t feel bad, he helped true love find its way back together. If it weren't for him working here, we wouldn’t have run into each other today. This was meant to be, Indi. You’re the one who believes in omens, remember?”
“Yeah, this was meant to happen this way,” I say and he smiles as Aston walks up to us.
“Caleb, what do you want to do?” Aston asks and he looks at me raising an eyebrow.
“I brought my car,” I say and he nods and smiles.
“Okay well, wanna take me back to my place?” he asks and I smile and nod.
“Sure,” I reply and Aston smiles and slaps Caleb on the back.
“Good to see you, Indi,” he says. I smile at him and at the redhead he’s with.
“You too, Aston, and thanks hon for the video thing,” I call out.
“Name’s Amber, and you’re welcome,” she says.
“Oh Aston,” I call out and he looks at me. “Glad you’ve found happiness again.”
His smile falters slightly as he wraps his arm around Amber and nods and then they walk off toward his car.
“Not sure if he’s happy with Amber or not, but at least he’s trying to move on. Which is more than what I could do,” Caleb says and I bite my bottom lip.
“I’m sorry I ran without listening. It’s just we made a pact. Hearing and seeing you with her, it broke me all over again.”
“I know, trust me, just seeing Sasha put me on high alert. I was thinking of you the whole time. She set me up, Indi, right from the beginning. But let’s go back to my place, I’ll make us something to eat and I’ll tell you all about it.”
I nod wanting to know more now, but I don’t really wish to discuss something so emotional on the sidewalk in London. So I take his hand and lead him toward my car.
“I’ve missed this,” he says and I look up at him raising an eyebrow. “Holding your hand,” he answers my unspoken question.
“I’ve missed you,” I say and as we reach my car he stops and pulls me to him.
“This isn’t a dream, right?” he asks nuzzling into my neck.
I giggle and relish in his touch. “No, this better not be. Because if it is, and I wake up back to my beige blah-dom life without you in it, I don’t think I could take another day.”
He pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “I love you so much,” he says.
I lick my bottom lip inadvertently and smile at him as those are the words I’ve heard for the last month, but from the wrong man. And boy have I needed to hear them from Caleb.
He leans down kissing me again, this time roughly forcing my lips to part so his tongue can dance with mine as he takes what was his all along. And I am his, I always have been. Right from the first day I met him in school, to the day I take my last dying breath.
I will belong to Caleb McCormack-Slade.
I drove us back to Caleb’s house and it looks exactly the same, he still had my toothbrush which I found creepy, but oddly comforting at the same time. H
e sat me down and we talked for hours about Sasha and everything she did. He told me all about how she set him up the first time he called her, that he only called her to talk, and she framed him to look like they’d slept together. Then about the crazy stalking and everything else. Including the night I broke it off when I heard her on the phone which I thought was in his hotel room. Turns out was actually in the hotel hallway. Then he told me about how he strangled her, and how his Dad paid her off to cover it up. I cried so hard when he said that. I was scared, not of him but for him. I could never be scared of him, he was driven to it. I don’t condone it, of course not, but he lost me because of her, twice, and he took his rage out on her in the worst possible way. I’m just glad he stopped before he actually killed her, and I’m glad she was scared enough to stay away from him. Well, hopefully anyway.
Caleb and I still have a lot of issues. Trust isn’t one of them, but his fame and my anonymity is. When my identity was released to the papers and I was taunted at my own home, I’ve never gotten over what that was like, and that’s why I’ve asked Caleb to keep our relationship secret. I also asked him to make sure Aston was aware of what I wanted until I’m ready to come out about us seeing each other again. I just want to spend time with Caleb and get reacquainted, before everyone else knows about us and tries to force their opinions on us as well. Caleb wants to shout it from the rooftops that I’m his again, but I just need some more time to process. Plus, I don’t want to rub it in Mick’s face. He doesn’t need to see it every time he goes on Facebook, or the news that his ex-girlfriend is back with Staked’s lead singer the day after she left him. I just need time, and Caleb’s willing to give that to me.
