by Lindsay Nall
Twelve
Mari dozed on and off for a few hours but woke when she heard a grunting sound, turning she saw Tadum’s form moving. “Leaf?” She whispered. He didn’t say a word as she got out of her bed and went over to sit next to him.
“What are you doing here?” His voice was cold and flat, not at all like he usually was with her.
“What the hell do you mean what am I doing here?! I thought I was going to lose you!” She snapped glaring at him. He could be cold to other people, he kept everyone at arm’s length but not her, he had never been like that with her.
“I would have been fine on my own.” He turned his face away from her to look out the window.
“You could have died Leaf! What happened to your promise to be more careful?!” Her voice raised with her emotions.
“Promises are meant to be broken, Marisol.” Why was he being like this? She sat a hand on his shoulder surprised when he shrugged her touch off and turned his back to her.
“Just leave me alone Marisol.”
“No.” She shook her head.
“I mean it, Marisol.” She grit her teeth and reached out trying to roll him over with her hand on his shoulder. He sat up quicker than she thought he could and threw her hand off of him making her nearly fall off the bed at the loss of her balance but she quickly regained it coming to stand next to him. “I don’t want you here, I never did. Just get out and leave me be.” His voice was so cold, his eyes so much colder. She thought about breaking down and crying but the tears refused to come burning her throat with their presence. Screaming never got her anywhere with him but this wasn’t the Tadum she knew and she couldn’t understand why.
“You can’t push me away.” He just continued to glare at her. “What is your problem Leaf?”
“Stop calling me that!” She gasped, he had always liked it when she called him Leaf and not Tadum, he said it made it seem more personal. “Get out Marisol, and don’t come back no matter what Karter or anyone else says. I don’t want your help and I don’t need it.”
“Leaf…”
“Get. Out.” He turned his back on her again laying back down as she stood there staring at him.
“If this is what you want…” She turned from the room blindly. Her feet carried her as Tadum’s words screamed over and over in her head. Nothing mattered, not where she was going, not what anyone thought of her walking around, her mind just kept screaming at her Tadum’s words blocking out everything but their echo.
“Mari…din…” Karter opened the door with a tray of food and stepped in but froze when he saw Mari’s bed was empty. “She’s gone…” Tadum made a grunt and Karter looked at him. “You’re awake; do you know where she went?”
“How would I know? She’s probably with him…” Karter stared at Tadum’s backside. The venom in his voice was stronger than normal.
“Him?” Karter whispered. “Are you jealous of Nyght?”
“Don’t be stupid.” His shoulders tensed.
“Aren’t you the one who told her years ago to move on?”
“Get out.” Karter sat down the tray of food and stared at the man’s backside knowing when he spoke again he had to tread lightly.
“Tadum…”
“Get out! Just get out!” He pointed to the door but never turned to face the other man.
“She almost died saving your life.”
“She’s an idiot. She’ll know better next time.” Next time? Karter knew then that Tadum had said something that made Mari leave the infirmary.
“Is that what you think of everyone who cares about you? They’re all idiots?” Tadum said nothing but gave a low growl. “She loves you…”
“She loves him.” He cut him off, Karter just smiled.
“There are different kinds of love, she was willing to give her life to save yours. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.” Karter sighed leaving Tadum to whatever mental torment he decided he needed to put himself through, his only worry was what torment this was putting Mari through. She may seem strong but he knew better especially when it came to Tadum, the bond they shared was something that she cherished so deeply she would lay down her life for it and today she nearly had.
“Mari?” Nyght whispered seeing her pass at the end of the hallway. He ran down the hall catching up to her quickly. “Mari?” He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him taking in a deep breath at the tears running down her face. “You should be resting… what happened?” Nyght swam in front of Mari as her vision went blurry.
“Leaf…” She took a step towards him but fell victim to the fatigue that had been following her. He caught her before she hit the ground but as he picked her up to carry her back to her room he growled an oath. Tadum had done something to her, something that had damaged her heart so badly she had disregarded her health to get away from him.
Once she was settled in her bed Nyght made a call to Karter to have him come and check her vitals. He hadn’t been away from her but for a couple of hours so he knew she hadn’t been wandering around too long but he still worried.
“She seems fine physically,” Karter whispered leaning back from where he had been listening to Mari’s heartbeat. “I’m worried about her emotional status.”
“You know something.” Karter nodded.
“I went to take her dinner and Tadum… I don’t know what he did but I know it wasn’t good. He’s furious at her for helping him.”
“Leaf…” Mari’s voice was softly spoken as she turned in her sleep but it made it obvious why she had left the infirmary and added fuel to the fire of anger that was stirring in Nyght.
“Tadum…dammit.” Nyght threw open the door and had one foot out before Karter spoke.
“Where are you going?”
“To find out what the hell happened!” Nyght stormed down the hallway.
“Nyght!” When the man didn’t come back Karter swore under his breath. “Damn…This isn’t going to end well…” He looked back to the girl as she whispered her friends' name once more. “I hope they don’t kill each other; she’ll never forgive them if they do.” Pulling the chair over from the desk he took a seat to wait until one or both of them came back. He hoped for both.
Nyght slammed open the infirmary door with a long line of things to yell at Tadum rolling through his head but he wasn’t in his bed anymore. “Dammit all.” He stormed off searching through the halls of the building eventually finding him sitting in the courtyard on a bench. “What the hell Tadum!?” Nyght growled spotting the man and storming over to him.
“Leave me be Nyght.” Tadum was leaning heavily to one side as he sat trying to find a comfortable position but nothing was comfortable, his whole body hurt.
“No way in hell. Not until you tell me what you did to her.” Tadum made a tchy sound in the back of his throat.
“I didn’t do anything to her, I set her free.”
“Set her…” Nyght muttered as some of his anger ebbed letting confusion take over his mind.
“She’s all yours.” Nyght bit back the retort on the tip of his tongue and thought about what Tadum said, thought about the way he was acting. He wasn’t trying to hand Mari off, he was trying to completely block her from his life.
“You’re jealous…of me?” Tadum gripped the edge of the stone bench he was sitting on and clenched his teeth.
“Dammit would you leave me the hell alone!?” He crossed his arms over his chest and turned further away from Nyght so his back was completely to him. Nyght stared at the man lost in a swarm of thoughts, there were ways he had never thought about Tadum before and having feelings or being jealous was right at the top of that list. Mari had though if you were to listen to the way she talked about him you would think they were still involved.
“I’m not replacing you.” Tadum shot off the bench and took a swing at Nyght, which he dodged.
“Dammit, would you all just shut up!” Tadum continued striking at Nyght, he knew the injury from earlier was slowing him down im
mensely.
“No one can replace you in her heart.” Tadum growled and struck again.
“If you’re not going to shut up at least fight back.”
“Mari would never forgive me if I hurt you.” Tadum pulled strength from his emotions and hit Nyght on the side of the face sending him to his knees. He stood over him for a minute panting with the effort it took.
“I said she’s yours, what more do you want from me?” Tadum was so busy trying to catch his breath he didn’t see Nyght get to his feet or the fist he drew back until it was too late. He stared up at Nyght from the flat of his back grimacing when Nyght put a foot on his chest to keep him on the ground, with his injury it didn’t take much to keep him down.
“I want you to stop being an idiot! She almost died saving your damned life! If she didn’t love you do you think she would have done that?!” Nyght clenched his fist a few times to keep himself from striking Tadum again as he thought back over everything he knew about the two’s relationship. “She loves you more than I thought it possible to love someone.” Tadum stopped trying to pry Nyght’s foot off his chest and listened as he spoke. “It bothers me sometimes; you’ve never seen anyone light up the way she does when she talks about you… it’s enough to make a man crazy with jealousy.” Removing his foot from Tadum’s chest he turned his back on the man on the ground. “Still I knew she carried so much pain when it came to you. The first night she told me about the two of you I wanted to find you and punch your lights out but I knew she would never forgive me if I did. I asked her once about your relationship but all she could tell me is you were what you were… I didn’t understand at the time and still found myself jealous of you.” Nyght shook his head then turned back to the man who was still on the ground. “Even now I have to fight back that jealousy once in a while.”
Tadum let out a quiet growl but said nothing to contradict Nyght, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Nyght was right.
“Maybe we will forever be jealous of the other but I don’t care about any of that and you shouldn’t either.” Tadum looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “What matters more to you Tadum, acting on that jealousy or Mari?” Nyght stepped over Tadum to start back inside but stopped a few feet from him. “If I were a lesser man I would be upset that she kept saying your name in her sleep, upset that you are the reason her heart is troubled…” With his peace said he walked off leaving Tadum lying in the middle of the courtyard with his self-pity.
An hour later Nyght was sitting at the desk in Mari’s room reading a book when her door opened and Tadum walked in. He stopped and looked from Nyght to Mari and back as if asking permission to be there. Nyght read his intentions and nodded his approval before Tadum went over to kneel next to Mari’s bedside.
“Mari...?” He wasn’t sure if she was awake but as soon as he said her name she turned her head and looked at him.
“Leaf…?”
“I…”
“What happened to your lip!?” She sat up partway starting to reach out to him but froze and dropped her hand.
“I got some sense knocked into me.”
“You should put ice on that” She started getting out of bed but at Tadum’s soft chuckle she froze.
“You’re always trying to take care of me.” She nodded with a weak smile.
“You need it sometimes…how?” He glanced at Nyght out of the corner of his eye. “You hit him?” Mari asked looking to the man sitting at the desk who just shrugged.
“In all fairness, he hit me first.”
“Why?” Both men looked at her awkwardly. “Oh…I see.”
“You’ve always brought out the irrational side of me.” Mari cocked an eyebrow and turned her full attention to Tadum. “Don’t give me that look.” She blinked her face neutral. “Especially when we were younger, you cared for me and loved me in a way I never thought anyone would, even after we went our separate ways you still loved me. I was awake earlier…I heard…it was to be expected that you would find someone…someday. You love with your whole heart…”
“You thought I couldn’t still love you?” He closed his eyes, the corners of his mouth turned down.
“Irrational I know…”
“Leaf…” Mari smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling them close together. Nyght tried his best not to snicker at the look of shock on Tadum’s face. “I will always love you, no one can ever replace you in my heart, I would never allow that.” He pulled away then taking her face in his hands he kissed her forehead.
“Forgive me?” Mari shook her head and put a hand over his with a squeeze.
“See you do tend to do idiotic things.” In the corner, Nyght let a laugh escape. Tadum stood and walked over to stand in front of Nyght, just as Marinique had done earlier he looked him over from head to toe as if sizing him up.
“If you ever hurt her I will kill you.” Nyght gave him a grin and slugged him on the shoulder.
“There’s the Leaf we all know!”
“And stop calling me that!” Tadum spun on his heel and stormed out of Mari’s room slamming the door behind him. Nyght blinked at the door.
“He respects you.” Nyght turned a quizzical look to her. “If he didn’t he wouldn’t just complain about you calling him Leaf.”
“What would he do then?” Mari gave a non-committal shrug.
“Use his sais to make you sing soprano probably.”
“Ouch…”
The next day Mari was out in the courtyard enjoying the nice weather and settling into the happy calm that had fallen over her after the air had been cleared with Tadum. He was such an idiot sometimes though he’d never admit it. How he could have thought that she couldn’t still love him even though she had feelings for Nyght now. Feelings wasn’t the right word; she knew what the right word was to describe how she felt about him but she just couldn’t bring herself to think it let alone say it. Tadum had walked her to breakfast that morning bringing up a question she hadn’t even thought about.
“Does Alto know?”
“I don’t think so. I guess it would be up to Nyght to tell him wouldn’t it?” She had seen where this conversation was going quickly, right down a path she wasn’t sure she had any business being on.
“Do you think he will be okay with you two?” She thought back to the conversation she had had with Alto in the library before her first mission, the things he had said and everything Nyght had told her about being a clansman.
“I doubt it. I know how to pick ‘em huh?” She had laughed and nudged his arm but he hadn’t shared in her humor.
“What will you do if…” She had held up a hand to stop him from talking.
“If that comes to be a problem I will deal with it then, for now, can you just let me be happy for a little while? I just don’t want to think about what if’s anymore.” He had agreed but the look on his face had told her that although she wouldn’t be thinking about them he certainly would be.
She sighed at the memory of this morning but shook it from her head. She didn’t want to dwell on what if’s she just wanted to be happy for a little while.
“How are you feeling?” She looked up to Alto with a smile.
“Almost back to normal.” Alto nodded and watched as a bird flew overhead.
“Would you mind taking a walk with me? If you’re up to it.” Mari nodded and stood falling in step next to the old man. They walked in silence for a few minutes but when Alto spoke he caught her off guard.
“I found Nyght when he was six years old, he had been given the name Nyght from the orphanage he was found in but had no family, no home. I took him with me, raised him as if he were my own, trained him in all ways of my clan preparing him so when the time came that I could no longer do my duties he would carry on the Deus work. I have done my best to prepare him, to teach him how not to feel anything towards the people in our documents.” Mari chanced a look at him out of the corner of her eye as a sense of dread started encroaching on her heart. Those what if’s her
and Tadum had discussed earlier came barreling down on her in a hurry.
“Why are you telling me all this?”
“He loves you.” She let a small smile play around the corners of her mouth. “And he shouldn’t.”
“What?”
“If you two continue as you are it will eventually cause him to have to make a decision.”
“Decision?” That sense of dread increased.
“Between you and our clan.”
“What? Why?”
“Because clansmen aren’t supposed to fall in love, it affects our duties. That person becomes the priority and history is lost because of it.” Mari stopped walking then as her heart fell to her stomach like a lead ball. “Nyght knew this but he is an idiot and gave into his emotions. He’ll never be a true clansman if he keeps this up.” Alto stopped and looked at Mari. “You are the only hope.” She cocked an eyebrow unable to make her voice work. “It rests in your hands what is to become of him.” She nodded slowly letting the words take their time to sink in. “Marisol…what I’m about to ask is going to be difficult to hear but I ask that you take your time to think about it.” She nodded. “Do you believe you are more important than his duties as a clansman?”
“Are you asking me to choose Nyght’s future?” She cocked an eyebrow at the shorter man letting her anger at the whole situation triumph over all her other emotions.
“I’m asking if what you share with him now is more important than what he’s been training his whole life for.”
“You want me to decide for him.” She looked at the sky unable to look at Alto any longer.
“He can’t make it on his own.”
“You mean he can’t make the decision you want him to make on his own so you’re using me as a scapegoat. I’m not sure if that’s smart or cowardly.” Mari left Alto standing in the courtyard wide-eyed and surprised.
Thirteen
Marinique Rayne had been looking for Mari for the last hour and a half and was running out of patience, especially seeing as he couldn’t find Marclay either. He made a last-ditch effort in stopping by the dojo knowing she wouldn’t be stupid enough to train when she was still recovering but when he opened the door he was greeted by the sounds of female grunts and the thumping of a punching bag. Walking into the room he found Mari in a back corner working out.
