by I Beacham
“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked when she’d dealt with the phones.
“I’m looking for Josephine Barry.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
“No, she won’t be expecting me,” Sam answered.
A man in an expensive suit and smelling of cologne appeared at her side. The receptionist acknowledged him. “Mr. Gruber, please go ahead. Hampton and Blunt are expecting you. Take elevator four and press for floor ten.”
The man disappeared.
“I’m not showing a Josephine Barry on my list,” she said, returning her attention to Sam. “If you could tell me what company she works for?”
Sam hesitated. “I don’t think she works here, at least I’m not sure. I believe she lives in an apartment in this building.”
The insincere smile was back.
“And you are?”
The phones were ringing again. The receptionist wasn’t happy, and Sam was presented with an impatient stare.
“I’m a friend of hers. I can see you’re busy…if you can just point me in the direction, I can make my own way there.”
The receptionist eyed her suspiciously. “One moment,” she said as she dealt efficiently with the calls. When she refocused on Sam, Sam sensed her hesitation.
“Does she live here?” Sam asked.
“I wouldn’t know.”
The answer was deliberately vague. Confused, Sam was just wondering what to do next when she saw the receptionist raise her hand to get the attention of a man and woman exiting one of the elevators. They acknowledged her with a smile and started toward the desk.
Sam studied them.
The woman was attractive and appeared to be in her mid to late sixties. She was shorter than the man, rather petite, and she came across as trim and fit. She was elegantly dressed. Her bobbed hair was immaculate and her makeup flawless. He seemed older and though dressed well, he was more relaxed in appearance. Sam sensed they were a couple. There was affection between them. They looked happy, and as he walked alongside the woman, he rested a hand casually on her shoulder.
As they approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Sir, this person says she’s looking for Josephine Barry.”
Sam didn’t miss the look of understanding that passed between them. Neither did she miss the sharp, intense stare the woman gave her.
“Oh yes, and you are?” the man said. He stood taller than Sam and looked down on her as he spoke.
“I’m a friend of hers.” Sam was feeling uncomfortable.
“A friend,” he repeated.
Sam was shrewd enough to know she was being assessed.
“Yes, and I believe she’s staying here, I just—”
“And you know that how?”
“A friend told me.” Sam thought of a conversation she’d had with Elsa.
“A friend?” Though he was polite, it was like being cross-examined. She was certainly in the right venue.
“Yes. I’ve sort of lost contact with Miss Barry, and I’m trying to reestablish that. All I want to know is if she lives in this building and if so, how I can contact her.”
“Don’t you have her cell or an email address? Aren’t you on Facebook or something?” he said.
With the exception of Facebook, which Sam loathed and avoided, she had all the others. But she hadn’t told Joey she was over here. She wanted to surprise her, to see her face-to-face. Sam had also thought that if she gave Joey the heads-up that she was here, Joey might choose not to see her and bolt. Sam didn’t want to risk being turned away before she even had a chance. She wasn’t sure how Joey would handle her presence. This was information Sam was not about to impart to perfect strangers.
She shook her head. “Lost those too.”
“How unfortunate.” The statement was far from genuine as the elegant woman spoke.
“I didn’t catch your name,” the man said. He was looking at her in the same suspicious way as the receptionist still was.
Sam sighed.
“Look, my name is Samantha Savage, and I’ve just flown over here from England. I met Jo—”
“You’re the vicar!” the woman exclaimed, her face breaking out into a huge smile.
“The motorbiker?” the man added, his eyes wide.
“You have me at a disadvantage…”
“Why didn’t you tell us who you are in the first place?” he said, his voice full of warmth. “We thought you were press snooping around. We’re Joey’s parents. I’m Len and this is my wife, Ann.”
Sam should have guessed. Now as she studied them, there was a family likeness to Joey. And despite having lived in America for years, Ann still had an undeniable English accent.
The dark made light, handshaking ensued.
“It’s okay, Sandy,” Len said to the receptionist. “This lady is a friend of my daughter’s. We’ll take it from here.”
Sandy looked relieved and returned to her busy duties.
The three of them moved away from the desk.
“So, how’s the bike?” Len said.
Ann looked dumbfounded at her husband. “You’re not seriously going to start talking about bikes. We’ve only just met.”
Len couldn’t see what he was doing wrong. “Darling, I helped Samantha and Joey fix a carb problem. By the way, Samantha, I’m real glad you liked the magneto I sent over.”
“It’s beautiful. I haven’t attached it yet, but I’m going to when the weather is better and I have more time.” Sam’s day was improving.
“You won’t be disappointed,” Len said. “It’s an original, none of this replicated trash.”
“Will you two stop this!” Ann was appalled.
Len shrugged. “So, Samantha, what brings you here? You on vacation?”
It wasn’t an easy question for Sam to answer. She had no idea how much information Joey’s parents knew regarding their daughter’s love life.
Ann raised a hand.
“Darling, you go to the car, and I’ll join you in a minute.”
“Why?”
Her face was serene as she cast a slow smile. The warning leveled was crystal clear. “Because I’m asking you to, that’s why.”
“But we’ve only just met,” Len said.
Ann didn’t respond. Only her eyes bored into him.
Len looked from her to Sam and back to his wife again.
“This is going to be one of those woman to woman moments, isn’t it? I’m not wanted because I’m a man.”
Silence pervaded.
“Okay.” He yielded without further deliberation.
Sam remembered that Ann was Elsa’s younger sister, the one who’d met the handsome American and run off across the pond. It amused her that such a diminutive figure packed such a punch. Although she could see some family resemblance, she was the antithesis of Elsa who was rather meek and mild.
Len moved off toward the exit muttering away. “But I really don’t understand why. We’ve only just met. Men can be sensitive too, you know.”
Sam glanced back to find Ann watching her.
“Don’t worry, Samantha. He’ll be fine. I don’t think he knows what sort of relationship you’ve been having with Joey.”
“You do?”
“Yes. And I know you’re having a few teething problems…which I have no doubt is why you’re here.”
Sam put a hand to her head. “This is surreal. You’re her mother.”
“And you’re a vicar,” Ann added dryly. “Okay. Joey is here. She’s staying in the apartment my husband had when he was a practicing attorney in this building. He often worked late and would stay over. When he retired, we decided to hang on to the place; it’s small but entirely functional. We use it if we come downtown to a concert or an opera. Joey’s using it right now.”
“Can I go see her?”
“I don’t think she wants to see you.” Ann wasn’t being awkward, just truthful.
“I want to change that.”
“Good luck. She’s stubborn like her father.” Ann re
ached down into her handbag. “You’ll need this.” She handed Sam a small blue tag. “You take elevator five, go to floor ten. Get out and then take the elevator to your right. Swipe the tag and select the residence floor. You’ll see it on the board. She’s in apartment two. Ring the doorbell.”
“She’s in?”
“We just left her.”
Sam took the tag.
“When did you fly in?” Ann asked.
“A few days ago.”
“Where are you staying?”
“A Motel 6 near the intersection of Interstates 70 and 695.”
Ann frowned. “Is it okay?”
“Yes. It’s modern, clean, and simple. I can park the hire car out front.”
Ann reached into her handbag again and this time passed a card to Sam. It had her contact details on it.
“Any problems, Samantha, call me.”
“Call me Sam. And I hope there won’t be any problems.”
“Sam, you’re dealing with my daughter, God bless her.”
Sam was already heading for the elevator as Ann left.
*
Joey opened the apartment door. She was shocked to find Sam standing on the other side.
“Sam?”
“Surprise,” Sam said.
Her enthusiastic introduction was wrapped in a smile. It lit her face, but Joey could see the nervousness behind the mask. Her own nerves were now jangling away.
“What are you doing here?” Joey asked.
It was a stupid question. Sam’s face held love, warmth, and expectancy all in one. What was to doubt?
Sam cocked her head to one side and feigned nonchalance. “I think the motorbike needs a service. It’s sounding rough. I thought you might like to help.”
If Sam was using humor to counter the shock of their reintroduction, it wasn’t helping. Joey’s heart was thumping in her chest. She wasn’t expecting Sam to cross the Atlantic and turn up on her doormat. She placed a hand on the door to steady herself.
“How did you find me?”
“Elsa.”
“Elsa,” Joey repeated. Her mother’s sister was not known for her ability to hold confidences.
Sam was looking at her wide-eyed. “I guess I’m the last person you expected to see when you opened the door.”
“You’re not wrong.”
“I didn’t call ahead in case you ran out on me again.”
Joey didn’t know what to say. Sam filled the void.
“I heard your chat on NPR.”
“How do you know about that?”
“Elsa,” Sam said. “I went to the DC studio the day before yesterday as it aired. I was hoping to see you, but I discovered it was prerecorded. I ended up going round the exhibit in the museum there. It was pretty interesting. I learned all about the history of NPR and how it got started. The displays are interactive you know.”
Joey’s heart lurched. Sam was trying to hide her uneasiness by talking of inconsequential matters. “Yes, I know.”
“I hear you’re doing some more chats.”
“Yeah.”
“You thinking of working for them?”
How could Sam know anything about that? She hadn’t mentioned anything to her when she’d returned to England the last time.
“Elsa,” they answered in unison.
Joey was going to have to have a chat with Auntie Elsa.
“I’ve been offered a job.” Joey felt deceitful even though she wasn’t lying.
They were still standing in the doorway, and Joey knew she should invite Sam in, but she held back. If she allowed Sam across the threshold her resolve would cave in, and she couldn’t let that happen. She hadn’t gone through all the misery of the last few months for nothing. She was determined to keep things simple from now on…and that meant no Sam. No anybody. It was the only way she could cope.
Sam was fidgeting. She awkwardly stuck her hands in her jacket pockets. The hurt was evident as she looked up at Joey.
“You left without telling me. Why did you run out? Even a letter would have been better than nothing, Joey.”
Joey wavered. “I didn’t know what to say, Sam. I thought everything had been said. I still think it has. Nothing has changed. I thought it was kinder to just leave.”
Sam was shocked. She started to shake her head, and when she spoke, her voice cracked.
“This isn’t right, you being here and me being over there. There’s something between us, and we can’t deny it. Neither can we turn it off like a tap. Joey, nothing is the same without you. I get up, I go to church, and I do what I’ve always done. I go through the baptisms, the weddings, the funerals, but I just exist. I’m not living. It’s not the same without you. And it’s all because you’re not with me—”
“You’ll get used to it,” Joey interrupted.
“No. I won’t because you’re not here.” Sam placed a hand to her own heart. “There’s a big gap here since you’ve gone, and it hurts. I’m not right when you’re not around. Every single thing I do…I’m missing you. I wake up missing you. I go to bed missing you. I used to enjoy my bike rides, but I don’t now because you’re not there behind me, holding me tight.”
Sam wasn’t finished. “You once asked me what made me happy. I didn’t answer then, maybe because I didn’t know the answer…but I do now. You make me happy. And I think I can make you happy too if you’ll just give me the chance. When you left you took my happiness with you…and I want it back.”
Sam reached out and grabbed Joey’s hand. Joey let it stay there for a second too long before pulling back. Her body would betray her unless she resisted. She saw the disappointment in Sam’s face, but the rejection didn’t deter her.
“I love you, Josephine Barry. I’ll keep telling you that until it sinks in. I don’t want you to have any doubts. You fill that empty space in my heart. You make the living worthwhile. And I want to make you feel the same way. I know I can. You matter so much to me. I love you.”
Joey was wretched. Sam was bearing everything. She wanted to take her in her arms, hold her close, and never let her go. But she daren’t.
Run. You destroy everything. You’ll destroy Sam.
“I know that, Sam.”
“But?”
“Weren’t you listening? I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want this.”
Joey wanted to close the door and hide.
“Listen, Joey. If you think the church is more important to me than you…if you think you’re competing with God, you’re wrong.”
This wasn’t what Joey was thinking. She’d never thought this.
“Things have changed,” Sam said quietly.
“Changed?”
“God has put you on the top of my list. It means I’ve got a new job. Well, not exactly…yet…but I will have when I’ve found it.”
“You’re talking in riddles.”
“I’ve handed in my notice,” Sam declared.
“You’ve done what? You can’t hand your notice in. You’re a vicar.”
“I can, and I have. I’ve had a chat with God. I’m still going to be on his team, I’m just going to be freelance from now on.” Sam looked pleased with herself. “I’ve quit, Joey. I’ve told Neil. I’m not the vicar of St. Mary’s anymore…well, I won’t be soon. The paperwork has to go through. I’m on vacation at the moment.”
“But you’re a vicar,” Joey repeated. This download of information still didn’t make sense.
“The Pope resigned. So can I.”
“What does Neil say?”
“He said it’s okay. God wants me as a field agent.”
Joey was dumbstruck.
“You’re not saying very much,” Sam said.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Joey, I once told you how I chose God over love many years ago. It was right then, but it isn’t now. My priorities have shifted. You are my priority now.”
“What’s a field agent?” What Sam was doing was all her fault.
“God�
��s work is everywhere, not just within the confines of a church. He needs people out there, and that’s what I’m going to do.”
“Do? What?”
“I have no idea, he hasn’t told me yet.”
“Neil?”
“God.” Sam smiled. “But I’m sure he will.”
Joey’s anxiety escalated. Sam’s declaration wasn’t helping. Joey’s sanity was in jeopardy, and she was gripped with fear. For a long time she convinced herself that she didn’t have PTSD. It was a peg they hung her on to explain her issues. What had happened to her was simple.
She’d been blown up, attacked, and almost starved to death.
She was responsible for the death of her friends, and she had survived.
Of course she had issues.
She just needed time to pull herself together…on her terms. If everyone left her alone, she would win.
But the craziness that would creep over her frightened her because it came when she least expected it. It buried itself in her psyche. It made her think and do things that made no sense. It scared her that, more and more, she was becoming less and less who she was—who she used to be.
If she could remove the emotion from her life and function at base level, she’d win. She would win. She was tenacious and wouldn’t give up. What she didn’t need were inner struggles, and Sam was all of those. She had to close down. That was her coping strategy, not what any stupid counselor advised.
Sam was making it worse. She was telling her that she was walking away from the church to be with her. Sam was already falling into Joey’s mess of a life. Hadn’t Joey predicted this would happen?
“This can’t work, Sam. Go home.”
“I can’t do that, Joey.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No. I came out to find you, and now that I have, I’m not leaving.”
“There’s nothing for you here.”
It was as if Sam didn’t hear what Joey was saying. She was standing rigid like an unmovable force.
“I’m not leaving here without you,” Sam said.
“And what if my life, my job, is here?” Joey threw at her, building on the earlier deceit.
“What’s Baltimore like?”
“What do you mean?”
“Many lost souls?”
“Souls?”
“If this is where you’re going to stay, then I guess I’m going to have to get to know Baltimore. I’ll just have to be a field agent in Maryland.”
