Our Journey

by Tey Holden

  “Whatever took you so long?” She didn’t allow time for Kate to reply. “Kate, I’m so sorry you had to see that picture. I had no idea that she had ever painted that.”

  “You mean to tell me that she painted that from memory?”

  “No.” Jo shook her head and closed her eyes, thoroughly embarrassed. “She sketched me, but since she only did abstracts, I never thought she’d paint it. I knew that someday I was going to pay for those crazy days! I just knew it was all going to come back and haunt me one day.” Jo chastised herself mercilessly much to Kate’s amusement. She was fully enjoying Jo’s predicament.

  “Why are you smiling? How come you’re taking this so lightly? Aren’t you mad, embarrassed, or ashamed of me?”

  Kate cupped Jo’s face to put her at ease. “No, none of that! I could never be ashamed of you.”

  Jo listened in awe, thinking that Kate must truly love her to find this whole thing as amusing as she was apparently finding it.

  “We’ve all done crazy things in our lives. This happened in your past, so I think it’s cool.”

  “Cool?” Jo rolled her eyes. “I just hope no one I know ever sees that painting!”

  “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.” Kate started to walk, and Jo ran to catch up with her.

  “Why?”

  Kate stopped and looked at her smiling. “Because I just bought it.” When Jo’s jaw dropped, Kate smiled. “I couldn’t leave that behind. I had to have it, just like I have the real thing. She can have her memories, but I was not about to let her have a piece of you even on a canvas.”

  Jo shook her head and chuckled. “I can’t believe this! This is so crazy! Where is it?”

  “It will be delivered tomorrow.”

  “Good. I’ll tear it to pieces the minute it arrives.”

  Kate looked at her and said, “Oh, no, you won’t!”

  “What? Are you telling me that you are planning to keep that thing?”

  “Yes, I’m going to keep it. It’s an amazing portrait of you, and it’s mine! I paid good money for it.”

  “And just how much money did you pay for it?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Katie!” Jo shook her head, “I can’t believe that after so many fucking years, she’s still taking my money!”

  “Our money, honey, our money. And I think the painting is worth every penny of it.”

  “Where are you going to put it?”

  “Umm, I don’t know. I need to think about it. Surely, somewhere private where only I can see it.”

  “I don’t want to see it! And why do you need to see it when you have the real thing next to you? And what if the baby sees it? What are you going to tell him or her?”

  When Kate began to laugh, Jo asked, “What’s so funny now?”

  “I’m laughing because the entire time that she was talking to us, I was picturing her naked walking around the gallery.” Kate continued to laugh.

  “Ha, ha, very funny. I can’t believe she married a man. How much weirder can she get?”

  “She may be bisexual. Either that, or he’s loaded, and she needs funding.” Kate chuckled.

  “None of my business, but she always needed funding. Maybe that painting was the only one she ever sold!”

  “Oh, come on, Jo. Be nice! The past is gone, and she must sell because the gallery wouldn’t give her space if she didn’t.”

  “Maybe the guy owns the gallery. That’s it! He owns the gallery!” Jo exclaimed.

  “Maybe, anyway, I’m glad I had a chance to meet her. Now I know how I measure up to the competition.” Kate lifted her breasts, making Jo smile.

  “I can’t believe you’ve just said that! Number one, you have no competition, number two you’re very far from being anywhere where she stood, and number three you measure above and beyond on everything as compared to her. I could have told you that if I knew you wanted to know.”

  “No, I never wanted to know. The past has never concerned me. This was just a fortuitous event. Still, I guess it’s good to know one is above and beyond.”

  “If you don’t know that by now, I’m doing something wrong, and I need to correct that immediately.”

  Kate stopped on the sidewalk and put her hand on Jo’s chest. “There’s nothing to correct. I know all I need to know.” She kissed her and put her arm through Jo’s as they continued to stroll through Georgetown to the parking garage.

  Jo shook her head and chuckled. “What were the odds of this happening today?” Jo continued to protest while Kate continued to smile as she got in the car.

  Chapter 8

  Kate’s pregnancy was completely normal, and she was able to handle it well, considering her long hours. Jo eventually calmed down and took things in strides, although she continued to pamper Kate to extremes.

  Dinner was consistently ready by the time Kate arrived, and the apartment was always clean. When Kate had late days or night shifts, Jo would always pick her up no matter the hour. Kate’s time off was relaxing and there was always a foot or back massage every single night. Towards the end of the pregnancy, exactly during the eight-month, Jo insisted on dropping and picking up Kate from work even when she had a regular shift.

  She went with Kate to every single one of her appointments, took Lamaze classes with her, and stood next to her every step of the way. When four weeks later, Mellisa McCallister was born, the little one embraced life with a full lung shriek, and the women cried tears of joy as they held their beautiful bundle of joy.

  The last few minutes of the birth were the hardest. Jo was in agony, seeing Kate in such distress. Although half-shocked, her adrenaline kicked in, and she coached Kate through the Lamaze breathing techniques, holding her hand the whole time. When the baby cried, Kate’s face was radiant, filled with love, amazement, and the expectation of holding her daughter in her arms.

  The nurses and technicians in the room were focused on Kate and the baby, but when Jo’s face drained of color at the sight of blood, her knees buckled, and hands rushed to prevent her fall. She was taken to an adjacent sofa in the birthing room. “What’s wrong?” Kate asked when she saw medical personnel going elsewhere and noticed Jo’s absence. “Jo?”

  “We got her, Kate,” Caroline said. Kate turned to the sound of her friend’s voice and saw something she wouldn’t forget as long as she lived. Caroline was sitting next to Jo, an arm wrapped around her shoulders as Jo was regaining consciousness.

  “The blood, why the blood? I need to be with Kate,” Jo said, gasping and sitting up on the sofa.

  “Easy girl, your wife is doing fine. That’s her placenta, and it’s perfectly normal. All is good.” Caroline stated.

  “Jo, I’m fine!” Kate reassured from her end of the room.

  “Are you sure?” She heard Kate’s answer, but her eyes were focused on Kate’s obstetrician. When the doctor gave her a reassuring nod, Jo felt better.

  “You’re a flake! Don’t know what kind of soldier you were!” Marjorie said in her usual teasing voice.

  Jo gave her a killer look, and Marjorie laughed. “She’s fine, Kate. I can see she already wants to choke me.”

  Kate chuckled and looked down at the beautiful baby girl that had just been placed in her arms.

  A few minutes later, Jo was next to Kate. She leaned over to kiss Kate and brushed her finger over the baby’s cheek. “She’s beautiful,” Jo said, fully taken by the sight of the little one and the beautiful woman she adored.

  “Are you okay, lover girl?” Kate asked, prompting a smile from everyone. Jo nodded bashfully and lowered her head to kiss her again.

  “If you two don’t stop the smooching right now, I’m going to start crying, and that could ruin my tough-woman reputation around this hospital,” Marjorie said in her usual sarcastic tone.

  ***

  The following day, Kate was released from the hospital, and they went home. With Kate being a pediatrician, she had everything under control from the minute they arrived. H
owever, because she was very tired, Jo insisted that she should rest and feed the baby, and that she’d do everything else.

  “You need to rest too. You haven’t slept much in the last two nights.” Kate admonished her.

  “Yes, I will later.” Jo was excited but preoccupied, wanting to make everything perfect.

  “Come here,” Kate tapped the side of the bed. Jo sat down, took her hand, and kissed it. “How are you feeling?” Kate asked her.

  “Does this question have anything to do with my fainting spell?” Once, she would have been embarrassed to ask such a thing, but not anymore, not with Kate. Kate gave her the sweet loving smile that always melted Jo’s heart. Jo looked down at their intertwined hands. “It was the blood.” She paused to look at Kate. “I think I need to explain it to Marjorie and Caroline, or I’ll never hear the end of it. I had a flashback. I can’t stand the sight of blood, in certain amounts, I mean. It takes me back to—.”

  “I know. I should have known better. You shouldn’t have been there,” Kate replied and pursed her lips.

  “But I had to be there. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “Next time, we’ll ask for a partition, so that you don’t see what’s going on at the other end.”

  “Yeah,” Jo grinned, “that may be the one time I surely don’t want to see what’s going on at that end of you. And let’s not talk about a next time.” She knew there would be a next time, so she added, “for now.”

  “Okay,” Kate said, smiling.

  Before the baby’s arrival, they had formulated the plan for after the baby was born. First, Kate would use all her accumulated time-off to be on maternity leave. They calculated that she could be home for at least three weeks. Later, when Kate returned to work, Jo would be the one taking her accumulated time-off to look after the baby.

  Post-residency, after considering several offers, Kate accepted a position at Children’s Hospital in Washington, D.C. Although she would have preferred a smaller city, where life could be more relaxed, Jo had a well-paid job that she liked, and Children’s was a great place to work. They had also made arrangements with the wife of one of the residents, who was a stay at home mom, to look after Mellie while they worked.

  ***

  With a job already secured, graduation day came upon them. Everyone’s name was called one by one, and each of them climbed on the stage to get their diploma. Every time a name was called, the family of the graduate stood up. When they called Kate’s name, Jo stood up with Mellie in her arms. As Kate took her diploma, she looked for the one person in the audience who had made it all possible, her friend, her lover, her wife, the person with whom she had planned a child and a life, and she grinned.

  In the distance, Jo picked up Mellie’s hand and waved it at her. “That’s your mom there, Mellie. Isn’t she gorgeous?” Jo said smiling, full of pride.

  After the ceremony, the new doctors reunited with their families. When Kate approached her, Jo referred to her as she had many years ago. “Congratulations, Dr. Nolan.”

  Kate smiled and replied, “that would be Dr. McCallister.”

  Jo nodded and smiled. “Well then, Dr. McCallister, Mellie and I were discussing how very proud we are of you.”

  Kate couldn’t say a word because she was about to cry. Jo saw her eyes and threw her arm around her and brought her closer to hug her with her one free arm because their bundle of joy was in her other arm. Kate leaned into her, overwhelmed by her emotions.

  Understanding the feeling, Jo broke the silence. “I hear there’s a party on the third floor, and I think you should make an appearance. I’m all for staying until the crack of dawn, but Ms. Mellie here might protest when that stomach of hers starts to growl, and I wouldn’t want you exposing yourself to this crowd. Kate couldn’t help but laugh at Jo’s prudish thoughts. “Come on, babe, let’s go mingle. We’ll have our private celebration at home later.” Jo said while Kate took the little one from Jo’s arms.

  As they started to walk towards the party room, Jo was once more shocked when she heard her name being called by her former military rank in what sounded, undoubtedly, like a military salute. “Colonel McCallister Ma’am!” Everyone in the vicinity turned in response to the voice, just as surprised as Kate and Jo. Standing in front of her was a man giving her a full military salute.

  All of Kate’s friends knew of Jo’s military service and rank, but she was now a civilian and had been for years. There was no reason why a man dressed in civilian clothes would salute and call her by her military rank.

  The man stood at attention and introduced himself by name, rank, and his service deployment. When Kate heard “Afghanistan,” she immediately scanned the man’s body and saw his prosthetic hand.

  Jo stared at him and in a low, soft tone said, “at ease, we’re far from there now.”

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  Jo obviously didn’t remember him, he was one of many, but she acknowledged him. “Do you have someone graduating here today?” Jo asked, wanting to relieve the moment’s tension and perhaps trying to normalize the situation, hoping that everyone would go back to their own celebrations.

  “Yes, Ma’am. My younger brother.” An older man came towards them, and he introduced the man as his father. “Dad, this is Colonel McCallister.”

  The man looked at her and extended his hand. “Thank you for your service, and for bringing my son back.”

  Although Jo was very good at controlling her emotions, she twitched her mouth in a way that Kate knew she had been emotionally touched. Wanting to help Jo from her distress and not knowing what else to do, she did the one thing she knew would always calm Jo down—she handed Mellie over to her, “could you, please, hold the baby?”

  Jo took Mellie from Kate’s arms. Looking at her bundle of joy, she smiled. She gazed at the former Lieutenant and his dad and proudly said, “this is our daughter. Are you still serving?”

  “No, I couldn’t. Not after this.” He lifted his arm. “I work for the federal government, but as a civilian now. I work at Ft. Myer,” he replied. “I know that you’re at the Pentagon. The group still stays in touch,” he added.

  The reference to the group drew a slight smile from Jo’s lips and a knowing one from Kate. His statement was a clear confirmation that the group, united by a shared past, was still active and that they clearly knew where their commanding officer was.

  “Well, you tell everyone I said hello, and that I’m well. By the way, I forgot to introduce my wife, Kate.”

  “Yes, it’s a pleasure, ma’am. Lovely daughter.”

  “Are you Frank’s brother?” Kate asked.

  “Yes, ma’am. He’s now the doctor in the family.”

  “Well, it was good to see you and to meet you, sir.” Jo acknowledged the Lieutenant’s father, who was still standing next to him. “I’m afraid we need to go now because it’s almost feeding time for a certain little one,” Jo explained.

  They said goodbye and walked away from the room. As they did, Kate couldn’t resist commenting. “McCallister, you’re going to have to give me a full account of who these men are and how many of them I can expect to meet in the future.” Kate’s humorous tone made Jo smile. She mostly smiled, because for the first time since the day of the accident, her thoughts gave her a feeling of satisfaction rather than dread.

  When Kate noticed the smile, Jo replied, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, “there are a few more.”

  Kate looked at her knowing that it was the first time ever that Jo felt the joy of having saved so many. She took Jo’s arm, and as they continued to walk, Kate said, “you know? I never thought I’d see you smile when talking about this topic, or that it would be on the same day I got my final diploma.”

  “Well then, it looks like we’ve accomplished both our missions,” Jo replied, still smiling.

  “I think Grams must be having a ball somewhere up there!” Kate exclaimed, and as she reached to kiss her wife, Mellie shrieked.

&nbs
p; “Oh no! Let’s hurry. You can feed her in the car.”

  ***

  Shortly after, Kate began to work, and all was going as planned. Mellie’s baby sitter was on their same floor in their building, so it was very easy to drop off the baby in the morning and go to work. Everything had fallen into a pattern, and life couldn’t have worked out better for them.

  However, about a year and a half later, Jo had one of her nightmares. It had been years since she had one, and Kate was somewhat surprised. As usual, Kate calmed her down, and Jo went back to sleep. The next morning, Kate did not bring up the subject, thinking that it was a rare happening. Yet, when a few nights later there was a repeat and an extended and more frightening episode, Kate had no other alternative than to raise the issue. “Jo, you’ve had two nightmares in less than a week.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “You haven’t had nightmares in years. Something’s going on. What is it?”

  Jo pursed her lips before delivering the news. “I have to go to Afghanistan next month.”

  “What? No, you’re not going. It’s not going to happen. Why? Why are they sending you? Can’t they send someone else? Don’t they know all you went through over there? Surely they know!” Kate said in an upset tone.

  “Katie, I have no alternative, it’s my job. I don’t want to go either, but I have to go.”

  “No, you don’t have to go. It’s not going to happen. You’re not going, and that’s that!” She said in a loud tone before her face wrinkled in anguish, and her eyes filled with tears.

  “Katie—.”

  “You’re going to resign, that’s what you’re going to do!” Kate was in distress and exasperated by the fact that Jo was accepting the situation.

  “Katie, I can’t do that, are you forgetting the money I make?”

  “No, I haven’t, and I don’t care. I don’t give a damn about money! And don’t you give me that argument Jo McCallister! You’ve always been the one saying that money is just money and that it comes and goes. So, yes, it’s totally true. It came and now there will be less!” Kate paced in the living room.