That would show her. Not.
Jessika unfolded her large beach towel in the grass close to the shore. “Jesus also said one shouldn’t bathe naked with another man.”
Emil frowned. “Jesus literally went bathing with John the Baptist.”
Adam ran his hand down his face. “It was a baptism, not bathing,” he mumbled.
Jessika’s friend settled down and started applying sunscreen, but young Miss Golonko was as unpleasant as her mother and wouldn’t shut up. “Either way, I don’t think the lord would have liked you to bathe naked with the devil’s favorite, Father.”
“A what?” Adam asked, shocked by her rudeness.
Jessika shrugged and pulled a large bottle of Diet Coke out of her bag. “I’m sure Emil knows what people say about his legendary bad luck. He can never leave, because who else would suffer so Dybukowo’s fortunate can thrive?” she asked with a small smile.
Jessika’s friend blinked, in full make up—false eyelashes and all—even though she was to spend the day at the lake. “I remember. Your mom said that!”
Unbelievable.
Adam’s pulse thudded until his throat felt as if there was a hand squeezing it. Two brats who had never experienced a fraction of the hardships Emil had to deal with every day, and they both thought they were better than him just because of their parents’ wealth. “You shouldn’t be saying such things. It’s unkind.”
Jessika rolled her eyes. “Well, then explain to me Father how is it that Mrs. Janina won the lottery on the very same day Emil was robbed?”
Emil picked up the rest of their stuff. “Get a life, Jess.”
“Maybe you should get one? There’s no way I’ll be stuck in this dump at thirty. I’m barely even here during the school year. Cracow’s pretty amazing, even when you have to board at school.”
“Maybe you should get a job?” Jessika’s friend suggested, and Emil seemed to have had enough, as he stormed off without a word.
Adam dragged behind him with a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach.
It was only once they reached the path, which would lead them to the parsonage that Adam managed to push words out of his mouth.
“Mrs. Janina won in the lottery? What? A hundred zloty or more? Just two days ago, Mr. Pasik came over, desperate to borrow some money until the end of the month, because he needed to have a pipe replaced, and she basically told him she barely covered her own expenses.” Which reminded Adam of her sending five grand to her grandson in the USA.
Emil shook his wet head. “No, she won a lot. Like, a lot. She’s just a greedy bitch who’d rather die on top of her pile of gold than share it.”
Adam watched his back, walking in silence while Emil stormed ahead like a battering ram. His silence struck needles into Adam’s flesh, and each carried more poison. He watched the tense set of Emil’s broad shoulders and hated the little voice inside of him which asked all the ‘what-ifs’.
What if Emil was playing some kind of double game with him and secretly dabbled in the occult? Technically, the church considered palm-reading sorcery and saw it as yet another gateway for demons to enter the world. What if there was a connection they both didn’t understand? What if Emil had been targeted by the devil and somehow passed that influence onto Adam? It couldn’t be a coincidence that the most horrifying experiences in Adam’s life coincided with his arrival in Dybukowo. With their meeting.
“Have you always had bad luck?” Adam asked, catching up with Emil even though he knew that sooner or later, they’d need to stop by a bush and put on pants.
“Huh? Yes, Adam. I’ve broken many bones, hurt people by accident, and set my parents on fucking fire! Can you drop it?”
Adam swallowed, taken aback by the ferocity of Emil’s anger. “I’m sorry.”
The silence continued after they stopped, and Adam struggled to think of a way to help Emil. He sensed Emil’s gaze lingering on his body as they changed, and it felt like hungry licks. This needed to end, because next time, somebody might get ideas about the nature of their relationship.
“Look, maybe people would treat you differently if you didn’t stand out so much,” he tried.
Emil frowned. “Can you stop complaining? Nothing bad happened.”
“I’m complaining? I’m just trying to think what to do so you don’t have to deal with shit like that. And the fact that people noticed we’re spending so much time together isn’t gonna help,” Adam whispered, aware of every little sound around them, because what if they were accidentally overheard by a villager taking a nap in the grass? He couldn’t put his clothes on fast enough.
Emil took a deep breath. “We’re not doing anything illicit. Not openly at least. It’s okay.” He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck. The gesture usually made Adam’s knees weak. This time, he felt trapped.
He ducked and pulled out of the embrace, suddenly breathless when he remembered Jessika’s curious gaze on him. “But we are doing something illicit. I don’t want to stop, and that’s the problem. I’m in an endless well of sin, because I can’t even honestly say I’m going to stop this when I go to confession. I am a shepherd who’s more lost than his flock!”
Emil’s gaze darkened, and Adam wasn’t sure if it was a trick of light, or if the devil was toying with him again. “What’s the point of pulling back now? We’re not even doing god-knows-what!”
The words felt like a punch. He’d let go of so many boundaries only to hear he wasn’t giving Emil what he wanted. “It is a lot to me.”
Emil shook some more water out of his hair, so glorious he was painful to look at. “We’re being discreet.”
Were they, though? They’d just been skinny dipping together. He clutched at his hair while his chest worked fast, struggling to suck enough oxygen into his lungs. “You don’t know what’s gonna happen! When we went swimming, you also said no one would see us. Sometimes, the worst thing just happens.”
Emil groaned and grabbed his hand. “Bad things happen to me. You’re safe.”
Adam pulled away and quickly put on a T-shirt. “I don’t want bad things to happen to you, to either of us, but don’t you see we’re playing with fire? Remember what the demon did to me? I still can’t sleep on my own when the lights are off,” he revealed despite shame cramping his stomach. “And I’ve been sent here in the first place because someone found porn in my room!”
Emil’s eyebrows rose. “Oh. Naughty.”
Adam shoved him away despite hating himself for it immediately. “This isn’t a joke! I’m talking about our lives here.”
Emil raised his hands. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, that does sound shit. I… Maybe one day you could sleep with me, and you wouldn’t be afraid anymore.”
Emil couldn’t have been any more bewildering. “What are you talking about? And I’m not afraid,” he insisted, even though it instantly hit him that he was. The sense of danger staying somewhere beyond sight yet ready to strike when he was at his weakest was with him all the time. Everywhere.
“You said you can’t fall asleep without lights, so I offered my bed. What are you talking about?”
Adam’s head burst into flames. He’d been thinking of sex. Of living together. Of falling asleep in the same bed every night and maybe not even feeling guilty. Because it was a fantasy world where he didn’t have to fear the judgment of God and people.
“I’m saying… that this place isn’t good for people like you, and I worry,” Adam said, desperate to change the topic.
“Like me?”
“Yes. You’re on your own now that Radek’s left, and I’ll be leaving too. Soon,” he said, meeting Emil’s gaze while a nasty voice whispered to him that Emil wouldn't have bothered with someone as problematic as him if he had other options. Because while to him Emil was the only man he’d ever touched this way, Emil saw him as a friend with benefits. A way to have the kind of sex he wanted without complications and having to spend ninety minutes on a bus to get to the nearest town with a p
opulation of more than a few hundred people.
“Not soon. In November.”
Adam didn’t know what to make of the defiant expression on Emil’s face. Emil had to understand that he had no future if he stayed in Dybukowo.
“That’s two months. You can’t stay here forever. Not on your own,” Adam insisted, and despite his better judgment, took hold of Emil’s hand.
Emil wouldn’t look at him, but squeezed it. “Can you not ask your higher-ups to let you stay?”
Adam’s breath caught, and he stared back at Emil, both mortified and weirdly lightheaded. “Why? There’s nothing for us here.”
“There would be something for me here if you stayed.”
Was this beautiful, dangerously enticing man suggesting what Adam thought he was suggesting?
Sweat was already beading on Adam’s back from the illicit conversation. He could barely breathe, as if his thoughts of Emil took up too much space in his head to allow for the efficient execution of such a mundane life function.
“Or, maybe, you’d like to move when I move?”
Emil chewed on his lips. “You know I can’t afford to,” he whispered, and the dullness of his gaze was a reflection of the hole deep inside Adam’s chest.
He and Emil were never meant to be, but if Emil was to ever find happiness, he had to leave Dybukowo. He needed to burn all bridges and find a man who could give him what he deserved. If Adam helped Emil, maybe he could spend the rest of his life in peace and no longer sin.
“The pastor always speaks so highly of your infused spirits. I’ve tried them, and I also think they’re great. What if we found a way to sell them?”
Emil took his time, but when he looked up into Adam’s eyes, there was new determination glinting in their green depths. “And you want me to move with you?”
His hand was warm in Adam’s, as if their limbs were slowly but surely growing together. Adam’s heart beat all too fast, so fast he might faint at any moment, but if that happened, Emil would catch him.
“Yes.”
Chapter 16 - Adam
The town hall in Sanok resembled a cake covered with pink icing, with ornamental turrets of pure sugar. During his two previous visits here, Adam had only made it to the supermarkets on the outskirts of town, so when he stood in the middle of the huge central square surrounded by two-storey buildings reminiscent of life-sized models in a massive diorama, he was struck by how charming the old town was. Everything looked brand new, so unlike the reality of gray facades farther from this most representative part of town.
“So when did this guy say he was coming?” Adam asked, watching small children run around in a modern fountain that doubled as a playground.
Emil shrugged. “Don’t worry, we’ve got two hours to kill.”
Despite the sunshine, it was cool enough for Emil to wear his leather jacket, and Adam couldn’t help but walk that inch closer to him than he should have just so that he could smell him, sense the warmth emanating off Emil’s skin.
The tourist season was in full swing, and the town was packed with visitors from all over the country for whom it was the perfect base for hiking in the area. If Adam had been among them, he’d have surely wanted to eat lunch at one of the many restaurants branding themselves as traditional highland inns, but after three months in Dybukowo, the fancy café across the square held way more appeal. Its minimalist decor and hipster name suggested they might even have a real espresso machine.
“And he said he’ll give you all that fruit for free?” Adam asked, his gaze passing over the church tower emerging from beyond the cutesy architecture. He was dressed in jeans and his favorite soft hoodie, so the priest who’d later hear his confession would have no idea who Adam was.
“Yes, they’d had an overabundance of cherries this year, so he’d rather offer them to someone than let them rot.”
When they passed a group of young women in black clothes and combat boots, Adam couldn’t help the tingle of pride when Emil made all their heads turn, because while the girls might not know it, this guy was here with him. He wasn’t surprised though to hear Emil’s name called out in an attempt to draw his attention. A man like him wasn’t a frequent sight around here. He listened to the right music, was tall and handsome, had daring tattoos, and could grow out a lush mane of dark hair. A real treat for every metalhead girl. But Emil politely greeted them back and followed Adam.
So maybe this wasn’t a date, but as they approached the large parasols casting shadows on tables in front of the café, it damn felt like one.
“You’ll still need cash, right? For the other ingredients.”
“Yes, but potatoes are cheap. If I play my cards right I’ll get them at a discount from Mrs. Janina’s cousin.”
Adam frowned as he sat down in the comfortable chair in the shadow. “Potatoes? Why would you infuse liquor with potatoes?”
Emil laughed out loud and pushed at Adam’s shoulder. “Adam! Come on. For the vodka, I’m not making virgin cocktails.”
Adam looked around, but no one seemed to have heard them. “What? I thought you were going to just buy some.”
Emil sat in the chair opposite Adam and cocked his head. “We’re talking about five hundred bottles of liquor. It’s not exactly mass market production, but even if I bought cheap vodka, I’d have to spend fifteen thousand zloty at least. I don’t have that kind of cash.”
But Adam did. He wasn’t in any way rich, but he did have savings that would have covered the liquor and left a bit to spare. His mouth dried, but as he watched Emil play with a leather cuff he wore as part of his going out outfit, the sense of tenderness spreading in his chest made him lean forward. “I could lend you the money. You know I don’t really have many expenses anyway, since the parish pays for my keep.”
Emil snorted, but his gaze remained focused on Adam as the waitress brought them menus. “What are you talking about? I can handle it. Not to mention that I know what I’m doing. Granddad passed his recipe on to me, and I’ve been helping him make vodka since I was twelve. I even have distillation equipment in the shed. I’ll get the free cherries, and worry about the bottles in due time.”
Adam licked his lips. It was one thing to distill spirit for one’s own use, but to sell it? “Isn’t that illegal? Are you sure you want to take that risk?” He did not want to even touch upon Emil’s legendary bad luck, but worry was stuck at the back of his mind like a ragged splinter.
Emil shrugged. “No one checks this stuff around here, Adam. I make a batch every year, and the chief of the Border Guard is my best customer. He was friends with my granddad, actually.”
Adam tapped his hands against his cheeks and slumped in the chair. He had no arguments to win this battle. “Okay, fine. Just tell me if you need money,” he said, but when Emil’s eyes settled on him from across the table, heat shot up his neck, and he opened the menu. “I-ah... I was thinking that you’re doing so much for me. Will you let me buy lunch as a thank you?”
Emil smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. “Is this a date?” At least he had the sense to lower his voice despite there being no other patrons seated close by, but under the table, Emil snuck his steel-toed combat boot between Adam’s feet.
Arousal was potent like blood in clear water, and Adam spread his thighs slightly wider, not wanting to put pressure on his cock, though the way Emil was looking at him had goosebumps erupting all over his flesh already. “Is that a trick question?”
Emil leaned forward over the table with a sly smile, never taking his eyes off Adam. “I don’t know. Is it? Are you my boyfriend, Adam?”
Words were stuck in Adam’s throat, but as Emil tapped his boot against Adam’s sneaker, sending his mind into a world where answering such a question would have been as natural as walking, a familiar voice made him eye the entrance to the café.
“Your barista has completely burned the coffee. If we were in Milan, you’d be out of business within the week,” Mrs. Golonko said, pointing her finger at the server
, who curled her hands in front of her stomach in clear discomfort.
“I’m very sorry. I can ask him to make another one.”
“Oh, no! If that’s the quality you choose to serve a customer, I will not be dining here ever again!” She raised her voice and got up with a swish of the coat she wore on her shoulders as a cape. Made of reddish fur, it was far too warm for the sunny weather, but its purpose was surely to remind everyone that her husband co-owned one of the most profitable businesses in the area, a fox fur farm.
Emil bit his lip, fighting a burst of laughter, but he did snort a little, which made Mrs. Golonko notice them.
Adam wished she’d have just shaken her head in disapproval, but she stormed toward them instead. “Praise be,” he said, acutely aware that he was dressed for a day out with Emil, and didn’t even wear a priest’s collar.
“I’m surprised to see you here, Emil. What are you up to all the way in Sanok?”
Emil shrugged. “Just a day trip with Father Adam. I’m showing him around, since you know I have a lot of time on my hands.”
“That’s right. Father Marek said I needed to see how beautifully the city was restored,” he said, and the lie rolled off his tongue as if it was second nature. Maybe it was. Either way, the true reasons behind their visit were none of her business.
“Oh,” Mrs. Golonko said flatly. “Have a good day, Father. And Emil? I would have a look at that horse of yours if I were you. He seemed a bit sickly last time I saw him. Might not be a good time to leave him alone for long periods of time.”
“I will do that, Mrs. Golonko,” Emil said, but Adam noticed his shoulders going rigid.
Since when was Mrs. Golonko interested in Jinx anyway?
Adam was glad when the storm cloud of Mrs. Golonko’s presence was gone, and they could go back to their day together. Conversation moved away from the issue of maybe-possibly being boyfriends, but as they ate their meals chatting about everything from local tourist attractions to the ridiculous way the mayor officially opened the new public pool after it had been in use for two months already, Adam’s thoughts kept circling back to Emil’s question, like a boomerang that refused to fall into the grass.
Where the Devil Says Goodnight Page 21
