by J.R. Bowles
CHAPTER 9
“Now the main thing is to enjoy being close to her.” Billy leaned back in his chair and explained to John. “Let yourself feel like a magnet; you're being drawn to her, and she to you. Most important, be patient. As you're holding her continue to kiss her, ever so gently. Cherish her, feel your desire mingle with hers. Forget yourself and let her know she is all that is important. If she wants you to stop she will let you know. Now, hopefully, you will feel her nipples become erect—and by this time, so will you.”
Billy leaned further back in his chair, paused and watched John's expression for a moment. He still wasn't sure about this man, but as he sat explaining it he felt himself becoming aroused. Surely this wasn't queer, he thought to himself, although it had an unusual feeling about it. He shook the thought away. This man had been sincere when he had explained he was a virgin.
“Now picture this girl you will see tomorrow in your mind,” Billy, said noticing by the bulge in John's pants that he, like himself, was aroused.
Sweat began to bead on Billy's forehead. He felt he should stop because of the unnatural feeling of the situation, but he continued.
“Billy,” John interrupted, “I really do feel desire for her. I can picture her in my mind. I―I don't know what's happening. I feel strange.”
Billy felt it too: as if he was ready to climax, and he hadn't even touched himself. Yet he was on the brink. His own body began to shudder. Billy's mind flashed back to the first time he had ever jacked himself off. That first climax had cramped the muscles in his stomach, and he thought he was going to die. It had hurt so bad it scared him, but yet through the pain, there was a small amount of hidden pleasure. But it had been the pain he felt the most, and it had kept him from masturbating for quite a while.
Billy groaned out loud, and saw John was having a similar experience. His body began to tremble and the pain in his stomach was starting to increase.
John felt as if his stomach was going to drop out. Was this what an orgasm felt like? He felt himself doubling over in pain. Around his navel he felt the muscles began to ebb and tide in contractions, and then suddenly felt himself climaxing. He screamed out in agony. He felt a stab of pain pierce his gut. He gasped for breath.
John closed his eyes and then opened them. Through the pain, he saw Billy responding to pain. His mind flashed: maybe they had been poisoned. But yet he felt the sticky emission being shot out into his underwear.
The room began to fade, and John felt a pulsation in his umbilical region. Like the orgasm, it was a constant ebb and tide, throbbing, and then he was in blackness.
He felt as if his entrails were spilling out into a vast nothingness. As his body took hold of his mind John felt himself falling. He had no visual perception, yet he was at the edge of an abyss. A great nothingness before him. He felt as if his abdomen were being ripped away from him and cast into the void. Then the throbbing ceased, being replaced by a vacant desire that he could not comprehend. A ravenous hunger. Agony tore at his stomach; his lungs burst into flames. His entire lower body from his rib cage to his groin was ripped away and was being expelled downward. An automatic mechanism took control and the emptiness which he lost, he now craved to fill. He had to replace the vacuum. He began to breathe in, as if his mouth was eating the very substance of life. He felt his mouth consuming everything possible.
A fibroblastic fire engulfed his lungs. His oral intake became greater than his capacity to contain it and he suddenly regurgitated all he had consumed. At the expulsion he once again felt the need to intake; slowly he repeated this process, and the burning eased.
The upper region eased its fire but the lower remained empty and needed to be filled. It was another ache he needed to soothe, a great hunger. Again he sought to satisfy the void and he did satisfy it.
He felt like both, the mother and the child, the creator and the created; but the strangest was, he was the destroyer and the destroyed.
As John's vision began to return he felt the drips of blood where he had bit his inner lip and jaw. He had literally sucked the blood of life from his own flesh. His mind revolted. He became nauseous. Looking down at his body, he felt as if he had eaten of his own self.
He felt the drops of semen on his belly beneath his pants, and was awed at the life that lay destroyed there; that semen would never serve its purpose. An image of standing on a cliff came to his mind. He was standing there throwing body parts over, piece by piece. As if his very life energy was being cast away, to be lost for all of eternity.
“That which lay withered and dying would not create.” He suddenly heard the words in his head.
“The greatest of creations is life, and when man's seed falls on an empty womb, like the seed thrown on barren soil, is the beginning of the end of creation.”
John looked up at Billy, who was sitting watching him.
Billy sat there, staring blankly, and did not speak. Billy felt as if he had been sleeping all of his life and had suddenly woke up. He now had an awareness greater than John's; now he knew who John was. He had seen what was taking place within John, and the knowledge Billy had was a vague foreboding of what was to come.
