I was lost in my thoughts as I looked over the balcony. The lights illuminated the pool, where there were still a couple of people swimming. The palm trees that lined the pool area were twinkling with fairy lights, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
Strong hands gripped my waist, causing me to yelp as I was swung around. I hadn’t heard the door open. My hips were thrust into his and my breath escaped me. “This was such a good idea.” Tate’s lips smashed into mine and my breath was taken from my chest; I was breathless. My hands linked around his neck, pulling him to me, begging for him to get closer. “I want to make you happy.” His hands cupped my arse, pulling me closer to him, the moment he lifted me from my feet, my legs wrapped around him, locking him flush with my body. He placed me on the bench at the end of the balcony and my head turned to the people in the pool.
“Tate, they might see.”
He pulled away from me. “Honestly, Sav, that’s the last thing I’m thinking about.”
I wrapped my legs tightly around his hips; I saw his eyes flash with desire as I rocked myself against him. Our gaze never broke; I could stare in his eyes for the rest of my life and never stop being overwhelmed by them.
“I’m going to kiss you now.” This was a rough kiss; there was no softness about it. His body rocked against mine, causing me to moan his name against his mouth. I felt him smile against my lips and my body soared. We couldn’t get close enough to each other; my want for him was increasing by the second. My hands made it to his hair, grabbing it roughly, making him groan in my mouth. His hands feverishly ran up my bare thighs pushing the hem of my dress to my hips, the cold air seeping through the lace of my panties and the chill ignited me. I needed to be closer to him. I needed to feel every inch of him. I needed him to feel every inch of me.
“Please, Tate.” He pulled his face from mine, looking at me for approval. He didn’t need to ask, my body was giving him all the answers he needed.
“Please,” I begged again, pleading with my eyes. I needed him. His mouth dropped to my neck, kissing and nipping at my skin, causing my back to arch. I felt his fingers glide slowly and torturously to my core. My hips bucked forward, wanting to break the distance from his touch.
“You are so beautiful,” he growled as his fingers made contact with my aching core. One finger and then two were pushed slowly into me and my body reacted instantly. Tate was working his fingers at a slow intense pace and he never allowed his lips to leave my neck. I needed to kiss him.
“Kiss me…hard,” I gasped. His lips moved from my neck and crashed into mine. I sucked his tongue and he pushed his fingers deeper. The feeling of his lips, his tongue and his fingers was electrifying; I had never felt anything like this. I was seconds away from losing all control right here on Tate and Tanzi’s balcony.
“I can’t get enough of you. I need to see you when you lose it,” he said into the kiss. All I could do was whimper in response as I looked at him. His eyes burned of desire, his voice full of need and want, his breathing uneven and broken. It hit me. I don’t think I’d ever get enough of him.
We stared at each other and as he was bringing my body to ecstasy, it felt like electricity was firing between us. I was at the point where I was about to let down my guard completely. I was at the point of giving him everything.
My head dropped to his shoulder as he brought me to my release. I had forgotten about the people in the pool and that our friends were meters away from us. My breathing was heavy and he held me in his arms.
“What is this? What are we, Tate?” I asked quietly.
His hands grabbed my face, lifting me from his shoulder and making me look at him. “I know that you are overtaking my mind. I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone before, and I can’t get enough of you and that to me is perfect. You are perfect.”
“Tate, it’s the final minutes. Get your ass in here or I’ll come out there and I am sure you don’t want me to see what’s going on out there.”
I laughed softly at the sound of Jack’s voice.
Tate dropped his face to my neck. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” His voice vibrated against my neck.
“This is a fucking joke. Can’t a guy get a break?” Laughing into my chest, he kissed my collarbone and stepped away, looking at me with disappointed eyes.
“I think the universe is against us,” I laughed, as I fixed myself up.
“Fuck the universe!”
I followed Tate back into the apartment, the warmness of the air hit me and I smiled at the feeling of contentment running through my veins.
I walked into the kitchen to get more snacks when Jack stumbled in with a smirk the size of Asia on his face.
“So I hear I interrupted things?” Jack said with a wink and nudge of my shoulder.
“Yeah, thanks for that.”
“He is so whipped. It’s kind of sickening but it’s cute, in the puppy kind of way.”
“Jack, you really do have a talent with words.” I slammed a packet of crisps in his chest and walked out to the living room, leaving Jack chuckle behind me.
“Where did you disappear to? Why did you leave me with a bunch of idiots?” Tanzi asked as I slumped beside her on the couch. Every guy in the room was yelling obscenities at the television as the final minutes of the game came to an end.
I hesitated before answering. “Um, I needed some fresh air.” My eyes flashed toward Tate and the grin that swept over Tanzi’s face was incredible.
Throwing up her hands, she shook her head fiercely. “Stop right there; that’s all I need to know.”
I sat beside Tate on the couch and snuggled into his side while we watched the rest of the game. I still had no clue what I was watching. I chuckled constantly at the abuse that the people around me were firing at the television. Tanzi and Tate were definitely the most vocal. Jack just shot words out randomly. I had never heard the words pussy and fucktard mentioned so many times. During the game, Tate had lifted my legs and placed them over his lap, his hand sitting on my bare thigh, which he would squeeze when his team scored what I had learned was a touchdown.
“How was Chelsea last night? She was all over you when she turned up.” Jeff scoffed from the seat in the corner closest to the television.
“She didn’t stay long,” Tate stammered.
“You are such a fucking sly dog, Tate,”
I felt a strange feeling of jealousy swim through me. Tanzi, Jack and I had left Red Velvet before Tate last night, and it seemed like he had a reason why he chose to stay. I pulled my legs off his lap and straightened myself. I knew this was too good to be true.
Tate grabbed my hands and pulled me back to his side, shooting me a begging look. “You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about Jeff.”
“She has been your fuck buddy since Candice and, what, that’s gotta be at least three years.”
Tate froze. The color from his face drained and his eyes went straight to Tanzi. Jack went into protective mode. He rushed off his seat toward Tanzi and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Tate’s eyes never left Tanzi’s, it was as if they were communicating in silence.
Tanzi shrugged Jack off her shoulders and stormed toward Jeff. “Don’t you dare bring up Candice! Get the fuck out of my apartment,” she screamed in his face.
Silence filled the apartment. I had absolutely no idea what was happening. Jack looked anxiously between Tanzi and Tate, Tanzi was shaking in rage, Tate was as pale as a ghost and Jeff was looking like an obnoxious prick.
“Fine. Sweetheart, when you want to be shown around town, give me a call. I hear you’ve already had a go at Blake so I’m next in line,” he spat at me. Tate came alive and rushed toward Jeff, only stopping when Jack pulled his arm back.
“Don’t, Tate. He isn’t worth it.”
I looked between Tanzi and Tate and saw them both hurting. Their blue eyes were almost transparent in fear. I was so confused. I had never seen Tate look like this. He looked like he was frozen in fear; he looked like a chil
d.
Tanzi pulled me into the kitchen, away from the scene and away from Tate. “Sav, I think you should go home. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I don’t understand, Tanzi.”
“I have to let Tate explain; it’s not my place.” Her eyes begged.
I grabbed her hand as tears filled her blue eyes. She looked so distraught. “I am so glad I have you, Sav. You don’t realize it, but I’ve been looking for you for years.”
I hugged her tightly as she trembled against me. I didn’t understand what was happening. Tanzi was always so tough, so strong, but as I held her in my arms, she looked pained. I followed Tanzi to the living room to find Tate facing the wall and looking at the photo of Tanzi, Jack, him and ,me.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me, okay?”
Tate looked at me as I spoke to Tanzi. I hesitated as I walked to him, not knowing if I should just leave. I took a chance. I lifted his hand to my lips and placed a soft kiss on his palm. Tate closed his eyes under my touch and it broke my heart to see a single tear roll down his cheek. My hand cradled his cheek and my thumb wiped the tear from his cheek as I looked at him.
“Don’t give up on me, Sav,” he choked out. I had no idea what he meant.
Chapter Seventeen
My apartment was sparkly clean, my music was pumping through the speakers and I was exhausted. My mind was still replaying the night before and due to sleep evading me, I was up early and did what any young woman would do…I cleaned, scrubbed and polished every surface in my apartment. I checked my phone for what would have been the hundredth time but still no text from Tate. I threw my phone on my couch and stormed to the kitchen in search of chocolate.
“Sav, where are you?” I heard Tanzi’s voice floating through my apartment.
“Kitchen,” I replied.
Tanzi strolled in with her bag on her shoulder and a wide grin. “What are you doing?”
“Searching for chocolate. I need to gorge.”
“Well come on, get that cute little body of yours into a bikini ’cause we’re going to the beach to meet the guys. They’ve been surfing all morning.”
“I don’t know, Tanzi. I don’t think it would be best especially after last night. I have no idea who Chelsea is, but if Tate spent the night with her then so be it. I am not going to be some girl he keeps on a leash," I admitted sheepishly.
Tanzi rolled her eyes at me. She pulled out one of the bar stools to sit and looked at me as if she could read my mind. “Sav, I love you, I really do. But I can see what you’re doing. You got scared by what you saw last night and now you are trying to find an escape. I am not letting you run from this. Chelsea is no one, so forget her. This is what you and Tate do. You get so close but then one of you tries to fuck it up. You fight, you make up, you fight and you make up. You two crack me up! I just wish you’d admit that you are in a relationship; you two are as stubborn as one another. Let me tell you this, he’s pissing me off with his constant mood swings though; he’s like a fucking girl. Seriously, it’s Sav this, Sav that and then you two fight and he is a moody son of a bitch, but as soon as he sees you or hears from you, his face lights up.”
***
I choked on my soda as soon as my eyes landed on him. Tate walked toward the table that Ali, Tanzi and I were sitting at. He was wearing only board shorts, which were hanging dangerously low on his hips. His hair was wet from just getting out of the surf, and my eyes were mesmerized at the droplets of water that were cascading down his chest. Every female on the street turned to gawk at him, but he only had eyes for me.
“Holy shit,” I murmured to myself. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I was blatantly staring at him, and I knew I was in over my head. I heard Tanzi chuckle beside me and I shot her an uncomfortable look.
Lucas and Jack were in the middle of a conversation, but Tate’s attention was on nothing but me. I absentmindedly licked my lips as he approached, and he gave me the smallest smile as he pulled out the seat and sat opposite me.
“Ladies, it’s always a pleasure to see you.” I smiled at Jack as he leaned over to give Tanzi a sweet kiss. I could feel Tate’s eyes on me and I couldn’t help but be excited yet nervous under his watchful gaze.
A pretty young girl in her late teens came to take our orders and I smiled as her eyes lingered on Tate’s chest for a moment too long. I, of course, ordered a cheeseburger and soda, which caused Tate’s lips to curve into a slight smile that only I noticed. When the young girl got to Tate, he told her his order before giving her a wink, which caused her cheeks to blush before she hurried away, almost tripping on the table behind us. She had been a victim of the Tate Connors Effect.
Slapping Tate on the arm, Tanzi rolled her eyes in the direction of her twin. “You are such a tease, Tate.”
“What? I was helping her get through her day.” He winked at Tanzi. My breath caught as he rose from his seat and moved quickly toward me as the table fell silent.
“Come with me?” he questioned as he held out his hand to me. I hesitated before I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. We walked in silence, our hands entwined as we moved to the steps that led to the sand. I was comforted by his hand in mine, but I was freaking out as a thousand words of what he may say floated through my head. I sat on the warm sand and looked toward the ocean as a sense of peace swept over me. The beach made me remember my parents and the days we spent at the beach when I was a young girl. From the age of two, my dad took me to the beach. It was our special time, just Sav and Daddy time. God, I missed them, every year my heart died a little more.
I nervously looked at Tate when he sat beside me. His eyes were covered with sunglasses and I couldn’t see where he was looking or what emotion his eyes were showing at this moment. I needed to see him.
With shaky hands I lifted his sunglasses. “I need to see your eyes.”
He cleared his throat and turned toward me. “Chelsea is someone from my past who I don’t want anything to do with. I don’t want to speak to her and I sure as hell don’t want to see her. Yes, she came to the bar the other night, but I told her that I was done with her. I don’t need her anymore, Sav. She has no place in what is going on between us. I made it clear to her that you are the only one in my life. I apologize for how I reacted with Blake. Blake and I have known each other for years. He is a few years younger than Tanzi and I and a few years ago my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with him so no, he isn’t my most favorite person and I don’t appreciate him saying things about you. Sav, you’ve got to realize I have a lot of skeletons in my closest. I have demons I fight every day and I promise I will tell you everything. I just need you to trust me.”
I dropped my head in shame as he spoke. “I’m such an idiot,” I whispered.
“You aren’t an idiot. I wasn’t really forthcoming with information.” He moved closer to me, grabbed my legs and draped them over his lap. “You frustrate me, Sav, you infuriate me, you make me angry, fuck, you make me throw glasses at the fucking wall, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You may have started as a game to me but then you became my challenge. You became the one who makes me think that maybe I could get serious with a girl again. You became the one who has me admitting my feelings in the middle of a packed beach. You became the one who made me stop with the one-night stands. You became the one who barged in my life and pushed me on my ass. I want you in every sense of the word, and I am not going to stop until you are mine. That’s my promise to you.” He leaned in to me and left a lingering kiss on my temple before standing and walking back to the boardwalk.
I watched his retreating figure with a million thoughts running through my head. It hit me like a freight train; I was already his.
I felt my chest constricting as a sense of panic swept through me. I inhaled deeply as my thoughts flashed to my dad. My dad’s words were always on my mind and hearing his voice in my memories telling me to just breathe had calmed me down in many of my darkest days during the past eleven years. I carried his letter
with me everywhere I went. Days before my parents died, I had a big presentation at school and Dad had come into my room the night before and it was the last time I heard him say those words to me. Two words that would make all of my fear and panic disappear in an instant. The two words that kept me connected to my dad. The two words that I had whispered to myself so many times since Tate abruptly arrived in my life.
The more time I spent with Tate, the more he made me forget about my past. I knew I was smiling more and even though we constantly pissed each other off, I knew he was here and I knew he was stubborn enough not to let me go. I never thought I’d open my heart again after Corey but as I got to know Tate, I realized what I felt for Corey was teenage love. It was nothing to the emotions that Tate was causing within me. I didn’t want to be scared with Tate. I wanted him to know me and I wanted to feel again, which for so many years had frightened me.
“Sav, lunch is here,” Tanzi yelled from the boardwalk, breaking me away from my thoughts and my gaze at the ocean.
I gave the ocean one last look before slowly making my way to the table and I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of laughter that was coming from my friends. My eyes landed on Tate, who was in deep conversation with Ali with his arm over her shoulder, Jack and Lucas were reliving a surf spot they went to when they were younger and Tanzi was looking at me with baited breath.
“Everything ok?” She asked quietly, her eyes flickering towards Tate.
“Everything is perfect Tanzi.”
An hour later the six of us walked along the boardwalk toward the cars, the guys carrying their boards and Tanzi, Ali and I chatting about what we were going to do that night. My plans involved my couch, television and Chinese food. My eyes were darting between everything around us. I felt like such a tourist some times. The streets were lined with small boutiques, surf stores and cafes. The atmosphere was amazing, street performers played soft acoustic music and I noticed a crowd five deep was captivated by a solo singer standing on the corner near the restaurant we were leaving.
Just Breathe Page 13
