They didn’t speak. Their hands roamed, reacquainting with curves and plains. Fingertips dragged and scratched. Soon, both were breathless and coated with a fine slick of sweat.
At the first strong ripples inside her channel heralding her orgasm, she arched beneath him, closing her eyes to savor the sensations—his thickness gliding in and out, his weight pressing her downward. Lord, she loved the way this felt, him surrounding her, filling her.
At last, his rapid thrusts pushed her over the edge.
Groaning, he withdrew and lay on his side, his hand stroking her skin in lazy glides. “Your flight arrangements should arrive by email tonight.”
“Monday?” she asked, glancing sideways to meet his gaze.
His mouth was curved at one corner but otherwise pressed into a fine line. “Feels too soon.”
She cupped the side of his face to reassure him. “I’m ready, Sam. For whatever comes next.”
“Are you?” An eyebrow quirked.
She drew a deep breath and nodded. The way he watched her, his eyes not blinking, told her he waited for her to say something more. Did he know she hadn’t been completely straight with him? “The doctor sent the x-rays to Charter’s people. You know my back is fine.”
Sam’s gaze went to his hand, still moving on her belly. “How have you been sleeping?”
Her breath slowed. When they’d first met, she’d admitted her troubles with nightmares, and how she’d relived Marc’s death, her mind changing the outcomes because she’d been unwilling to accept his loss. “I’m sleeping. I feel fine.”
“Ash…” His gaze returned to lock with hers. “You know you can tell me anything.”
She swallowed against a tight throat. He deserved more from her. Deserved the truth. Some of it, anyway. “I do dream about the crash. But not like before.” She looked away and closed her eyes to describe it. “I’m standing at the open door. I feel a hard jolt, but my grip doesn’t slip from the bar I’m holding, because I was already nervous about fast-roping down in the dark. An explosion of light comes from behind me. Then there’s no time to think. I jump out. I’m looking at the stars above me. I land on what feels like a hard mattress. The grass is thick and tall. I fall on my feet then my ass and just sit there as I hear the helo crash.” She opened her eyes and lifted her shoulders. Done with explaining. But he still studied her expression. “I’m not obsessing. I swear.”
Maybe a little disappointment flickered in his eyes, but he gave her a small smile and patted the hand she’d fisted against her diaphragm.
*
Two days later, Suri and Jax had invited them to join them for dinner. That morning, Sam appeared beside the bed holding two fishing poles. His way of inviting her to fish along the shore. An activity they both enjoyed. It reminded her of the first time he’d shown up at the cottage next door when she’d accepted his arrangements to continue the vacation Marc arranged before his death. Sam had invited her to fish, and while he’d shown her how to hook a pretty barjack, she hadn’t been able to shake her growing awareness of him as an attractive man.
Sam had gently coaxed her back into the world of the living. They’d quickly become lovers, and then she’d fallen in love—something she hadn’t thought she’d ever experience again. Not in those dark days.
Now as they strode down the beach to their friends’ house, a dish of marinated fish ready for the grill, Ash couldn’t help but feel happy. The temperature was cooling, and she’d worn a light sweater over her short-sleeved coral blouse and a sand-colored skirt. That seventy-five degree weather felt nippy brought a smile. The wooden snowman and the tinsel snowflakes Suri had attached to their garden gate stretched the smile farther. One could forget the season was winter at all, living this far south of the States.
Tiki lamps were lit to illuminate the path through the yard. The grill was already fired up, the smell of steaks barbecuing made Ash’s mouth water. Light rock played through the open French doors. Sam held her hand as they entered the house and spotted the couple—Jax pressed against Suri whom he’d trapped between himself and the kitchen counter.
Running his thumb over the back of her hand, Sam cleared his throat.
Jax glanced upward then frowned down at his wife. “We will finish this discussion later.”
Suri giggled, shoving at his body until he let her slide away. Her face still flushed pink as she walked toward them, her arms opened to embrace Ash then Sam. “This is gonna be fun. He’ll be hard all evening long.” Her eyebrows rose. “Can I get you two some beers?”
Ash coughed at the easy way the other woman talked about her horny husband. She didn’t dare look at Sam.
Sam held out the dish with the marinated fish. “Our contribution.”
Suri lifted the corner of the foil covering the dish. “Yum! Fresh fish. Oh, Jax,” she called out. “Why don’t you and Sam go put this on the grill?”
When the two men left, Ash winked at Suri. “Sorry if we interrupted something.”
Shaking her head, Suri laughed. “Jax can’t keep his hands off me these days.”
She said it then waited, like Ash should divine some deeper meaning. A second passed, but then Ash’s gaze dropped to Suri’s stomach.
Suri turned to the side and pulled her sundress tight until it molded over her slightly rounded belly. “Yuppers. There’s a bun in the oven!”
Ash yelped and gave her a quick hug. “Congratulations,” she said. “I’m so happy for you both.”
When they drew apart, both women were misty-eyed.
Suri picked up a glass of pale liquid from the counter. “Apple juice,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Can’t even celebrate with a proper glass of champagne.”
Feeling just a tinge jealous, Ash asked, “How far along are you?”
“Just a couple of months.” She laughed. “I thought I had the flu.” She waved a hand toward the doors. “But come. Let’s sit outside. Everything is ready. As soon as those two finish cooking, all we have to do is set the table.”
As they started to walk toward the door, a loud whoop sounded from outside.
This time, Ash giggled. “Guess Jax just broke the news to Sam.”
A couple of hours later, Ash and Sam walked slowly back to their place.
“It’s nice, thinking about kids on the beach,” Ash said, and glanced sideways at Sam.
He smiled but remained quiet.
“Kids aren’t something we’ve really talked about…”
He squeezed her hand. “There’s time.”
That was vague enough. She frowned. “Do you want kids?”
“You know I do. We’ve talked about having a family.”
“Sometime. In the future. But…life’s going to be complicated.”
“We’ll figure it out. Growing our family’s not that complicated. When we’re ready, we’ll work on the logistics.”
Ash couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. “The logistics? You make it sound as though having kids requires a battle plan.”
His smile flashed white in the moonlight. “Doesn’t it? We both have dangerous jobs. And I can’t see either of us permanently being willing to give that up. So yeah, creating a family is going to take some coordination and planning.”
She shook her head. “I’m almost sorry I brought it up.”
“No, we should talk about it, so we’ll have an idea how we’ll approach taking time off, nannies, that sort of thing.”
Ash took a deep breath, a little overwhelmed by the fact he’d actually been thinking about it. “Another time. It’s just… I wanted to know…if you were thinking about it…”
Sam pulled on her hand, dragging her to a halt, then gently gripped her shoulders to turn her to face him. “Getting pregnant might not be something we can plan like an extraction or an assault.”
Ash drew a swift breath. “Double barriers,” she blurted. “Maybe we should implement them. My health teacher in high school preached double barriers.”
“You’re on the
pill.”
“But it’s not a hundred percent.” She bit her lip.
Sam pushed her hair behind her ear. “I’ll wear a condom…if that’s what you want.”
Ash shrugged. “Not really. I don’t like planning when we have sex. I don’t like having anything between us.”
He combed his fingers through her hair. “So, we accept the risk.”
The way he watched her, so quiet and patient, made her feel guilty over the fact she sounded a little spooked by the thought of getting pregnant. She really wasn’t. She was worried about something else, but this discussion allowed her to flail a little. Still, Sam shouldn’t worry about whether she wanted children or not. “Maybe,” she said softly, “while I’m away, you could give some thought to how we’d adjust, if we’re among the one-percenters.”
Sam tucked a thumb beneath her chin and raised her face. “What are you really worried about, Ash? I know you aren’t afraid to get pregnant.”
“I…” Ash felt her eyes fill. Was she really so transparent? Had he known all along that she’d been lying to him? “I guess…I wanted to talk about something else.”
“Maybe start an argument to distract me?” The fingers in her hair stilled, and he cupped her head, holding her so that she couldn’t look away.
She bit her lip and gave a little nod.
Sam let go of her and lowered to the sand. “Here. Now,” he said, patting the space beside him. “No one but me and the stars, Ash. Tell me what’s been bothering you.”
Ash felt equal parts fear and relief as she settled beside him. She wrapped her arms around her legs and set her chin atop her knees. “I don’t want you to think I’m losing it. That I’m crazy.”
Sam slid his arm around her, but he remained silent—his signal that he was listening.
Once again, Ash felt gratitude for the fact he was so gentle with her—never pushing, always ready to listen. “I left out one part of the story about the night of the crash,” she said. “I didn’t tell the shrink. She asked me if I had nightmares. I admitted that I do relive the crash. That’s not the issue. I know having them is normal.” She drew a slow breath then released it and leaned against Sam. “When we were hit, it happened so fast, there wasn’t time to register what was happening. I didn’t have time to think. I might have stood there, just holding tight, and I would have died…”
When she paused, Sam kissed her temple then rested his cheek against hers.
She closed her eyes, remembering the heat, the noise, and then sudden silence. And the voice. “I heard Marc’s voice,” she whispered, “telling me to jump. I still didn’t think. I just went with his urging.”
Sam’s arm tightened. He turned her face with his other hand and kissed her. When he drew back, he pressed his forehead against hers. “You’re not crazy,” he said, his voice rasping.
“But I heard him,” she said, her eyes filling. “And sometimes…I see him from the corner of my eye. Or when I first wake up. But when I blink, he’s not really there.”
“Baby, stop.” He kissed her cheek, her forehead, and then grasped her hands which were knotted together. “I know SEALs who talk about hearing the voices of their fathers or mothers in the middle of a pitched battle, telling them to move this way or drop to the ground. They won’t say they’re hearing ghosts. Sometimes, they say it’s their subconscious, telling them what they need to hear in a voice they trust. But I’m okay with the voice being Marc. You loved him. He loved you deeply and wanted to marry you. He made it possible for us to meet. If that’s not a sign of divine intervention, I don’t know what else it could be. You’re not crazy.”
Ash sat still, letting his words wash over her and allowing his logic to sink deep inside. “I’d just as soon not tell the shrink.”
He chuckled, his breath gusting against her hair. “No need to. You told me.”
“I’m glad we met.” She flashed him a watery smile. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”
Sam fell back against the sand, taking her with him. “If it hadn’t been then, I believe we would have crossed paths eventually.”
She smiled at the thought. “Like we’re fated to be together?”
“From the moment I spotted you on the airport tarmac, I felt like we were connected.” He glanced sideways and gave her a sheepish smile. “Now, who’s crazy?”
Ash rolled toward him and snuggled against his side. “Then we’re both crazy.” She placed her hand over his heart. “This situation really doesn’t concern you…that I think about another guy?” In profile, she watched as his jaw hardened.
“If Marc had lived, you and I would never have had a chance. I think about that sometimes. But even so…I wish he had lived. Then you would never have been so hurt by his death.”
Ash closed her eyes. She didn’t feel guilt over her happiness, neither should he. She rose and slid over her him, making space to open his pants and free his cock.
Grinning, he skimmed her skirt upwards then used both hands to tear away her panties.
In moments, she took him inside her, with her head falling back. As she began to move, she watched the stars above her, silently thanking them, God… Marc… for bringing her to this man.
Letting out a breath, Sam slid his hands beneath her blouse and shifted her bra upward to cup her breasts. “I love you, baby. With all my heart.”
Ash’s chest expanded as she glanced downward. Her soul had room to love them both. Perhaps, over time, Marc would fade away, but she accepted that she wasn’t quite ready to let go. Sam understood. But he deserved so much—a love untainted by pain. She could give him that now. No one knew her better. No one could be more accepting of her. As she rode him, she opened herself to him—silently promising no more secrets. No more doubts about what their future held.
Pledging herself and her future to her gentle SEAL, Ash gave her heart into Sam’s keeping.
About Delilah Devlin
Delilah Devlin is a New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author of erotica and sexy romance with a rapidly expanding reputation for writing deliciously edgy stories with complex characters. She has published over a hundred sixty erotic stories in multiple genres and lengths, and she is published by Atria/Strebor, Avon, Berkley, Black Lace, Cleis Press, Ellora’s Cave, Grand Central, Harlequin Spice, HarperCollins: Mischief, Kensington, Kindle, Kindle Worlds, Montlake Romance, Running Press, and Samhain Publishing.
You can find Delilah all over the web:
WEBSITE
BLOG
TWITTER
FACEBOOK FAN PAGE
PINTEREST
Subscribe to her newsletter so you don’t miss a thing!
Or email her at: [email protected]
If you love a suspense with sexy heroes, check out more of Delilah’s UNCHARTED SEALS series:
Watch Over Me
Her Next Breath
Through Her Eyes
Dream of Me
Baby, It’s You
Before We Kiss
Between a SEAL and a Hard Place
And look for Hard SEAL to Love, coming February 2017…
Hard SEAL to Love
Former SEAL, “Big Mac” McLane is sure he earned all kinds of bad karma when his first mission with Charter Group is guarding the “Love Boat’s” activity director. Okay, so the cruise line is sponsoring a special cruise for wounded soldiers and their families—a great cause—but Big Mac doesn’t do well around families and children, and Kylie Hammond is cute, but he feels like he has two left feet whenever he’s around her, and conversation’s worse. But he’s going to do his job, keep it strictly business, fade into the background whenever she’s around, but it seems Kylie has other ideas.
Kylie knows the SEAL isn’t exactly gung-ho for his new assignment, but she can’t be more pleased. The big man’s the yummiest thing she’s ever seen, and coaxing blushes and glares from him becomes her favorite sport. But then things begin to go wrong aboard ship, people disappear, and then someone’s killed. The
thing her charity most feared—a terrorist attack at sea—appears to be underway. Now, she has to trust Big Mac and his team to keep her wounded soldiers safe.
Heart of a SEAL (Uncharted SEALs Book 8) Page 4
