“And what do you propose, sir?”
He straightens his back proudly. “If you were to expand your field of options to a nobleman with greater experience, it would go a long way toward strengthening the people’s opinion of you.”
“Oh?” I raise an eyebrow. “And I suppose you have such a nobleman in mind?”
The look on his face makes it clear the blow hit him right in the ego. “Your Majesty,” he chuckles. “I’m not suggesting that you change your decision, but it would go a long way, for appearance’s sake.”
“I see. Well, thank you for your generous offer. I’ll certainly consider it.” I hesitate, realizing this is the same position I’ve found myself in before. Caught between men who all think they know best. Who want to “protect me,” and all I have to do is hand over the reins to my life in order to receive that protection.
I’m tired of being manipulated, but maybe it’s about time I turned the tables. As opportunistic and conniving as Raoul is, he does know the kingdom better than anyone. I can use that.
“However, there’s something I’d like you to do for me.”
“Anything, Princess.”
I fight back a smile at his eagerness. We’ll see how he feels in a moment. “As you are aware, the primary suspect in my brother’s disappearance is none other than the man who tried to have him killed.”
“Yes,” Raoul says gravely. “It’s terrible that you were introduced to royal life through such treachery. I can only hope to assure you that your uncle is an unfortunate anomaly among the royal bloodline.”
“I’m sure he is, but that’s not what I’m getting at.”
Raoul raises an eyebrow, seemingly surprised at my bluntness. I’ve lost the time or patience for mincing words any longer.
“Oh?”
“The Pentarch has insisted that revealing the truth behind my kidnapping would lead to unrest, isn’t that right?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“You’re a wise man, Lord Raoul. As you can tell, the kingdom is already in chaos with its beloved King missing,” I continue. “And as you said yourself, that unrest presents an opportunity for unscrupulous individuals to take advantage. If the truth were known about my uncle, it would preempt him from making any grabs for power and might hasten the investigation into my twin’s disappearance.”
Raoul’s face falls as he realizes what I’m after. “Your Majesty, while I can certainly understand your fear, the Pentarch’s position on the matter has not changed.”
“I’m aware of that,” I say flatly, standing to walk over to the window. “But with the influence of such an experienced nobleman, I’m certain it could.”
Raoul’s silence speaks volumes. I pretend to look out into the garden, but I’m really watching his troubled reflection in the window. I can see the wheels turning in his head. Either he has to admit that he doesn’t have enough sway to be worthy of my “consideration,” or he’ll fold. The old me would feel bad about the idea of stringing him along, but I’ll do anything if it means getting Albien back sooner, and something tells me Raoul isn’t the kind of man who’s ever thought twice about using someone.
“I’ll see what I can do, Your Majesty.” When I turn to face Raoul, he bows low. “Thank you for your time.”
“I have every confidence in you, Lord Raoul,” I say, holding out my hand for him to kiss, as the custom dictates. I give him my most pleasant smile as he bows his head. “Do come again soon.”
Chapter Ten
As soon as Raoul is gone, I sense another presence lingering in the doorway. I see Rowan’s reflection in the window, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come in?”
He finally steps in, closing the door. “Aren’t you worried your pinky’s gonna fall off?”
“What?” I ask, turning to face him.
Rowan is giving me a knowing look as he folds his arms. “I mean with Lord Raoul wrapped so tightly around it and all.”
I roll my eyes, leaning back against the bookshelf. “Don’t start.”
“I didn’t say anything,” he says with an innocent shrug. “You’ve just never struck me as the type to use your wiles to get what you want.”
“I’m an omega. My entire life, alphas have been fighting over me and manipulating me for those ‘wiles,’ as you put it,” I say dryly. “I might as well get some benefit out of it.”
He scoffs, taking a bottle off the shelf of spirits on the wall. “Guess I can see that.”
“What are you doing eavesdropping on my conversations, anyway?”
“I just got word from James, and I thought you’d want to hear it,” he says, taking a gulp of his drink. “If not…”
“No,” I say quickly. “Please… what is it? Has he found any leads?”
“Not yet,” Rowan says, growing somber. “No one in vampire territory has seen Mace. Or at least, if they have, they’re not talking.”
My shoulders slump. I knew better than to hope, but that’s never stopped me before. “Is James coming home?”
“Not for another week. He said he’s trying another region. Has some connections up north he thinks might be useful.”
My heart sinks even further. I know James is looking as hard as he can, but being separated from him for so long makes this all even harder. I can’t help but feel like part of it is him trying to remove himself from the equation, so I’ll “explore” my feelings for Christopher the way he wants me to. As if I can think of anything other than Albien, and the fact that Christopher might be getting himself killed in the process of searching for him.
I know there’s more to his use of magic than he’s letting on. If it hadn’t been for that emergency situation, I never would’ve known he practiced. How long has it even been? There was a time when I could have trusted him to tell me the truth, but now… I doubt he’d even tell me if I came right out and asked him, and I’m afraid to know for sure. As if I can convince myself that nothing has really changed if I don’t put our fragile friendship to the test.
“Hey,” Rowan says, in front of me all of a sudden. For someone so big, he moves quietly. He touches my cheek and I relax instantly. It’s the same effect James has on me, even if his touch is different. Warmer. “It’s gonna be alright. We’ll find him.”
“You’re the only one who seems to actually believe that.”
“These royal assholes are a bunch of pessimists,” he snorts. “What do they know? Besides, you said it yourself. You can tell he’s still alive.”
“You believe me?” I ask doubtfully.
“Of course.”
“Why?”
“You’re an omega,” he says, as if that explains it. “You guys always have a sixth sense about everything. Makes you a real pain in the ass.”
I can’t help but laugh, and I realize it’s the first time I have since Albien’s disappearance. Rowan always knows what to say, and I don’t think anyone has ever made me laugh as much as he does. He’s easy to talk to, and when I’m around him, it’s easy to forget I’m the Princess. It feels like we’re back in that pub at home, just talking and choking down disgusting beer.
“I should be out there,” I murmur. He’s the only one I feel like I can say that around, without ending up under house arrest.
Rowan watches me for a moment before he nods. “I know you feel that way, but trust me, you’re doing more good here than you would out there.”
“How? All I do is attend these stupid functions and act as a placeholder.”
“Yeah, a placeholder to ensure someone like your creep of an uncle doesn’t step in while Albien’s gone,” he says. “That’s big.”
“Maybe.” I sigh. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course.”
“I’ve been researching. Trying to learn more about the mages,” I murmur.
Rowan frowns. “Isn’t that shit forbidden?”
“Hey, if the Princess can’t get away with reading banned boo
ks, what good is the title?”
“Fair enough… just be careful not to get caught.”
“I’m one step ahead of you. But Mace has obviously been ignoring the rules for a long time,” I mutter.
“Yeah, well, his reading material’s the least of his crimes.”
“I was hoping you might know something about that,” I admit. “I was so young when Mace came into the pack, I don’t really remember anything. Did your father ever mention where he came from? Anywhere he might run?”
Rowan listens, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Dani. Honestly, my father didn’t share much more with me than he did the rest of the pack. He had his inner circle, and I wasn’t in it.”
The pain in his voice tells me his father is still a bit of a sore subject. Rowan is so unlike Adam that it’s a struggle to remember to be sensitive when it comes to speaking of him. Sometimes it feels like another lifetime ago when our positions were reversed. “Just thought I’d ask.”
“There is something,” he says.
“What is it?”
“Mace used to disappear. I only remember ‘cuz Dad would bitch about having to pull a doctor from one of our allied packs to cover for him.”
I frown. I spent years avoiding Mace, so I never really noticed his absences. “For how long?”
“Days, sometimes weeks at a time,” says Rowan. “Always started on the same day, though.”
“It did?” I ask excitedly. Maybe it’s nothing, but it’s the closest thing to a lead, or a scrap of information about Mace’s past, that I’ve had yet. “When?”
“December twentieth,” he answers. “Every year. Sometimes only for a few days, sometimes longer, but it always started then.”
“December twentieth,” I murmur. There’s something familiar about that date, but I can’t quite place it. “Did he tell your father where he was going?”
“Said he was visiting home. As for where that was, I have no idea.”
“Home?” I frown. “Mace claimed sanctuary in Marok, didn’t he? Why the hell would he go back to the place he ran from?”
“That’s a good question,” Rowan says, scratching his head. “Never really thought about it. Guess Dad didn’t either.”
“That or he knew it was a lie.”
“Either way, no use asking him now,” he mutters.
“No,” I sigh, looking up at Rowan. “How are you doing?”
He gives me a look. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”
“It’s been about a year,” I murmur. “I was just wondering how you’re handling it all. Being separated from your mother has to be hard.”
“I know my cousins are taking care of her,” he says quietly. “Besides, I’m on Eternus’ leash now. She’d disown me if I went back there.”
He says it so casually, but his words cut even me. I know that knowledge has to hurt him deeply. Ever since we fled Marok, life has been so chaotic that it’s easy to forget about the pack we left behind. The pack that Ryland and Harquest are still occupying, for all I know.
In some ways, Rowan had more to lose in following me than anyone, and he’s never complained. I put my arms around him before I can talk myself out of it. He tenses up like he has no idea what to do with the display of affection at first, but he finally hugs me back.
“What’s this?” he asks gruffly.
“I don’t know,” I murmur, resting my cheek against his chest. I breathe in his scent and relish his warmth as his strong arms wrap around me. He can’t keep me safe from the worry or the isolation I feel being separated from Albien, but when I’m in his arms, it’s easy to pretend. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
He chuffs, resting his big hand on top of my head. “Course I’m here. I swore an oath.”
I look up at him, searching his warm gaze. “Is that the only reason?” I ask in spite of myself. I regret the question immediately, especially when I see the shock in his eyes.
“No,” he finally says, his voice growing hoarse. “I guess it isn’t.”
My hands are on his chest. How did they get there? His heart beats beneath my palm, so strong and steady. What is this feeling?
Somehow, I know the answer. It’s the same thing James has stirred in my heart from the very beginning. It was just slower to form with Rowan, but now that I’m aware of it, I realize it’s so much stronger than I ever imagined.
His eyes meet mine and we both stand, frozen. I see the desire in his gaze, reflected in my own, and I hate myself for it, but… I give in. To what, I don’t know. To myself, maybe. To the part of me that I’m afraid to acknowledge exists. I kiss him and at first, he freezes, but then he kisses me back. His lips are surprisingly soft, and he tastes the way he smells, masculine and delightfully woodsy. His tongue slips into my mouth and my fingers slip into his hair and we both collide until the force of that collision reminds me who we are and what we’re doing.
I step back, raising a hand to my lips. Did I seriously just kiss Rowan? He stares back at me in equal shock.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters, his voice laced with guilt that he doesn’t deserve. It’s all mine to bear.
“You didn’t do anything,” I say, still breathless. “I… I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Dan!” he calls after me as I whisk out of the room.
I don’t stop. I know if I do, I’ll be drawn even further into the temptation to stay, and I don’t trust myself in his presence. Not when my own heart is keeping secrets from me.
Chapter Eleven
It’s been three days, and I still can’t believe I kissed Rowan. Rowan! The big, lovable oaf I try to tell myself I was never actually considering choosing as my mate. Because… why, I don’t know.
It’s not like it’s absurd. Any omega would be lucky to land a guy like Rowan. He’s funny, kind, protective, and surprisingly thoughtful, not to mention drop dead gorgeous. When he was just Adam’s son to me, his father’s shadow made it impossible to see him as his own person, but I don’t have that excuse anymore. Over the last year, I’ve gotten to know him on a deeper level, and there’s so much more to him than I ever imagined.
He makes me feel safe. He makes me laugh, and that’s a challenge these days. It’s not really a mystery that I could have developed feelings for him, even though I want to believe my heart belongs solely to James.
And yet, I ran away, like a coward. All I can do is hope that this doesn’t ruin our friendship. Having had a few days to reflect, I realize that’s what scares me more than anything. The prospect of letting my feelings for Rowan jeopardize our friendship when it’s one of the only things holding me together right now.
Now I’ve probably gone and screwed it all up.
In an attempt to make some progress in my research, I looked up the date Rowan mentioned and sure enough, it’s covered in the books I’m not even supposed to be reading. Winter Solstice falls on December twentieth through the twenty-third, depending on the year, and it’s a day of great importance for the mages. It’s supposed to be the time when the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest, and therefore a source of great magical power.
I’m not sure about any of that, but obviously it means something to Mace if he ran off every year on that date like clockwork. The fact that he’s probably been working with the mages all this time shouldn’t really surprise me, I guess, but why? The possibility that he’s working with Ryland seems less likely as time goes on, but that means he’s not the only one who wants Albien out of the picture.
The only comfort is knowing that if Mace wanted Albien dead, he would be. The fact that he took him, as unsettling as it is, means he has something else planned.
I just have to get to them both first.
Now that I’ve hit a wall, I decide to go to Christopher for answers. He’s been avoiding me ever since the coronation, and I know why. He doesn’t want to talk about his extracurricular activities, but he’s not going to have a choice.
I wait until dark because he spends all day train
ing with Jenna and the others. From what I’ve heard, he’s progressing quickly, which doesn’t come as any surprise. Christopher was always smart. What he lacked in strength when we were younger, he made up for in cleverness and his ability to adapt to any situation. Now that he’s got plenty of both qualities, there’ll be no stopping him.
Breaking into his room is probably not the best thing to do, but I’m desperate. It looks normal enough on the surface. A bed, a shelf full of books, none of which seem overtly magic-themed. I know he’s got to be keeping the juicy stuff somewhere else, and I’m weighing the pros and cons of investigating under a guy’s mattress when the door swings open.
“Dani?”
Caught red-handed. I twirl around to face him and try to look as innocent as possible. “Hey.”
“What are you doing in my room?”
He doesn’t seem angry, really. Just confused. As I struggle to come up with an explanation, he takes a step toward me and the look on his face shifts. I realize one excuse that would definitely get me out of the dog house, but I’m not sure if employing it counts as leading him on.
“I just wanted to see you.” My throat tightens around the lie. I hate that it’s come to this, the two of us dancing around each other, the lies and the truth, when we used to be so close. But what am I supposed to do? I’m worried about him. If he was able to break that spell, he’s in this deeper than I ever thought possible, and he might get himself killed.
I can’t let that happen, and even though my feelings for him are complicated enough that the cowardly part of me wants to run and hide from them, I know pushing him away is only going to make things worse.
When our eyes finally meet, I realize James is right. I’m not over Christopher. Not by a long shot. He touches my arm and I instinctively move closer to him, feeling the heat of his body next to mine.
“Here I am,” he says in a husky voice, his gaze sweeping over my face.
“Here you are,” I breathe. His arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me up against him. My body is too quick to relent, my lips already parted for his kiss. His tongue slides into my mouth, cool and minty, and his fingertips unseat the small circlet on my head. It’s not my ceremonial crown, and I should still probably care more than I do when the gold band drops to the floor, but I don’t. I’m too focused on Christopher’s body on top of mine as we come down on the bed, our tongues still tangled as we drink in the newness of this long-awaited experience.
Court of Alphas: A WhyChoose Shifter Romance Page 5
