by Robyn Carr
She laughed a little. Then she turned and put in the order for his hamburger. She checked around the bar to see if anyone needed anything, then returned to Dakota. “You are such a girl,” she said.
“I am not a girl!”
“We’re all complicated, just in different ways. I admit, I have never grappled with the problem of having many handsome men want me,” she said.
“And there is no explanation for that,” he said, grumbling. “Can I walk you home tonight?”
“Or drive me home,” she said. “But don’t you have an early start tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry about me,” he said, though he was experiencing a little surprise. I must have finally suffered enough, Dakota thought. God is throwing me a bone. “So,” he said, changing the subject, “I learned you’re helping Lola’s kid with physics...”
“I am. Trace. Good kid. Very smart. He works hard in here. He mostly busses and does dishes but every now and then Rob lets him take orders.”
“You’re good at physics?” he asked, making a face.
“High school physics, Dakota. I’m surprised I can even remember any of it. I think he’s teaching me more than I’m teaching him. But that’s the key—finding a way to figure it out. If we all went into a subject already knowing everything, there would be nothing to learn. Of course he doesn’t already know it—that’s why he’s studying it.”
“You would make a good teacher,” he said.
“I’m not patient enough,” she said. “About tonight—I don’t get off work till nine. And I have to go right home. I want to make sure the boys are in, chores and homework done, that sort of thing.”
“You could go inside, check on them, then come back outside to kiss your new boyfriend,” he said with a grin.
“I could probably do that, if I had a boyfriend. But not for too long. We get up early, too.” Then she turned away and went to serve the bar.
Dakota sat at the bar for two and a half hours while Sid finished her shift, then Rob came from the back wearing a short apron and relieved her of her duty. Dakota nearly leaped to his feet. Then, with a hand on her elbow, he walked with her down the street to where his SUV was parked.
“I can’t believe you’re letting me take you home,” he said.
“It’s four blocks. You’re going to have to work your charms fast.”
“When you check the kids, what does that mean?” he asked her.
“They might need something or have some crisis, like an assignment due tomorrow that they haven’t started or something they were supposed to buy but didn’t or need a signed permission slip. But Rob usually takes care of those things over dinner. He takes a break from about five till six, maybe more, maybe less. He brings dinner home, goes over the day with them. Sometimes he has to run to the store for them. Sometimes he has to pick them up from practice—baseball or track. We really need another car—Finn is ready to take on some of this stuff. Then it’s back to the bar till closing. One of us is usually available to be with the boys with just a few gaps here and there.”
“A working family,” he said. “I suppose this is how it will be with Elizabeth.”
“It’s good for kids to grow up with working parents—children emulate their parents. They may not listen to them but they’ll copy them, whether they want to or not. That can have a downside if they see their parents doing awful things. Or sometimes there’s an upside to seeing their parents doing awful things—they’re determined to break out of the dysfunction.”
Dakota wondered what she’d think of the way he grew up. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. But his dad was crazy and his mother was a “stay-at-home mom,” and that hadn’t given him any advantages.
She gave him directions and within a couple of minutes he was parked in front of her house.
“Let me get the lay of the land and then I’ll come back and let you know what’s going on. If everything is cool, we can talk awhile,” Sid said. She jogged up the walk and let herself in.
We talked all night. I don’t want to talk anymore, Dakota thought.
Within five minutes she was back. She jumped into the front seat, leaned over the console and kissed him. Not exactly a deep and passionate kiss but not just a starter kiss, either. She pulled away and just smiled at him.
“Cheater,” he said. “You brushed your teeth.”
“I thought you might appreciate the effort.”
“Tell me something, Sid. When did you decide you were going to give me a chance?”
“I’m not exactly sure. You’ve grown on me. I think maybe you’re nice. You worked at the soup kitchen without me. You’re consistent—that’s a good thing. You make me laugh.”
“I’ve been working that angle,” he said.
“I like that,” she said.
“It sure felt like that wasn’t going to be enough,” he said.
“Maybe the rest of it has nothing to do with you,” she said. She turned to look at him. “I’m not a little girl, Dakota. I want to have a normal life, too.”
His eyes grew large. “What’s a normal life to you?”
“Oh, nothing extraordinary. Just friends, family, work I like, a little social life, maybe a guy. You should get a medal. You’re the first guy I’ve even considered.”
“I’m honored.”
She grew serious. “I’d like to tell you something about my divorce. It might help you to understand why I’m like I am when it comes to relationships. I don’t know who knows—I don’t talk about it. Rob might’ve said things, I don’t know.”
“I don’t gossip,” he said.
“I met my husband when we were both in school. He was a medical student, poor, so I worked while he studied. That was our arrangement and I was happy to do it. The moment he finished his residency, he left me. He said he hadn’t been happy and he’d been with someone else. I had no idea. I fell apart. I’m sorry that you have to be on the receiving end of this, but the fact is, I might never trust a man again. But over a year later, I’m not sure I want to live my whole life without one, either. There it is—if you have expectations, you could be very disappointed. You might do better with Alyssa or Neely.”
He put an arm around her and pulled her a little closer. “That’s not gonna happen. I’m sorry about the husband, Sid. I get it. Someone left me suddenly—I had no warning, either. It was hell.”
“You weren’t married, though,” she said.
“No,” he confirmed. “It was still terrible. But I don’t have any expectations for us. A few hopes, maybe...”
“What is it you hope for, Dakota?”
“Lots of laughs,” he said. “Fun. Honesty.” He paused. “Nudity.”
A spurt of laughter escaped her and she turned her head to look up at him. “A man of simple needs,” she said.
“Sid, you’re pretty and I like talking to you. I now realize I like kissing you. I’m not looking for a woman to have my babies. Actually, I’m not planning on babies, so that’s a problem you don’t have to consider. I think the best-case scenario is we have some fun together and I have someone besides my brother or sister to knock around with. And, of course, the nudity.” He lifted her chin with a finger and put a soft kiss on her lips. “And you sound like a woman of simple needs, too. I will be trustworthy even though you aren’t planning to trust me.”
“I never lie,” she said. “Actually, it’s a problem sometimes. People don’t really always want the truth.”
“It beats the alternative,” he said. “Let’s get in the back seat.”
“Okay,” she said. “But just for a little while. I have an early morning and so do you.”
They got out of the SUV and reentered in the back seat. He immediately filled his arms with her. “What do you have to do in the morning?” he asked.
“Get the boys off to school. Some days I drive them. Rob works l
ate so I let him sleep. Then there are chores, maybe errands, work at—”
He’d had enough of her schedule and swept down on her mouth, hushing her and enjoying the minty fresh taste of her, pulling her tight against him. She wriggled herself closer still and no doubt was aware of his excitement. He thought it was promising that without even the benefit of groping he was hard as a bat. But of course he was thinking about the groping to come. And he was a little uncomfortable, bent in his jeans, sucking the hell out of her mouth.
Dakota knew if he suggested anything more she would say no so he just made the most of the closeness, the kissing, the squirming. Then she broke away from his mouth, a little breathless. “I’ve never kissed a man with a beard before.”
“How do you like it so far?” he asked.
“I think I like it.”
“You’re going to love it later,” he said. He slid a hand over her breast.
“I think you’re getting a little ahead of me,” she whispered, but she dropped her head back and sighed.
“You’re so controlling,” he said.
“I know. You’re going to love it later,” she said. “Sunday is the wedding.”
“Yes, I think it’s going to be a total of nine or ten people,” Dakota said. “Immediate family, some flowers, dinner. How late are you allowed to stay out?”
“I’m thirty-six, Dakota,” she answered with a laugh.
“Okay, how late are you willing to stay out?”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it,” she said.
“Oh, boy,” he said, nuzzling her neck. “Possible nudity!”
* * *
Tom Canaday felt as though he had a significant part of his life returned to him when he found Lola Anderson. She felt like part of him, like the other half of him. She was gentle and good, and whether they were in bed together or sitting out on her porch like now, being with her was the way to intimacy.
“I’ve never had anything like this before,” he told her, holding her hand.
“Well, I certainly haven’t,” she said with a short laugh.
“We were both married,” he said. “We both loved our spouses. And yet...” He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “We need to be married. Is that even possible?”
“It depends on the kids,” Lola said. “Trace and Cole are on to us—they know we’re serious. Cole asked me straight out if I’d found my forever man and I told him I believe I have.”
“He did? He asked you that?”
“Haven’t your kids asked you?”
“No, they skipped that part and went straight to teasing me.”
She laughed, that low, earthy sound of hers. “That’s an even better sign,” she said.
“I have to tell you some things. Before I ask you if you can see a life with me, even if we have to wait awhile on account of all these kids between us. Private stuff.”
She gave him a look. “You aren’t really going to ask me if I can keep a secret, are you, Tom?”
“Even if we’re mad at each other?”
“Even if I hate you and want you dead! Of course, I’m going to suffer the worse fate. I tried to stop you but now I’m going to love you till I die.”
“Oh, Lola, you are so good to me. I don’t feel like I even had a life before you.”
“You had one, Tom—it was full of jobs and kids. You want to get the families together to save money?”
“Nah, that’s the least of it. Not that I have any money,” he added. “It’s always been paycheck to paycheck for me. But I’m really good at that, by the way. Nah, this is about my marriage.”
“It’s not required, you know,” she told him. “We both had lives before. We’re both beyond them now...”
“I might need a little advice, too. See, I married real, real young. Becky was just my undoing. And I was a boy, thinking with my dick, like boys do. But I loved her and I kept loving her. It’s taken me a long time to understand. Becky didn’t have a happy childhood. Her family struggled and it just brought out the worst in ’em. My family wasn’t well-off, either, but my folks never let it get ’em down and they were good parents. They are good parents. But Becky was always looking for more. First it was to get married and have a baby.” He laughed without humor. “I should’a looked out for that one.
“Then she wanted a house, so we started fixing up that Victorian we shared with our landlady. Then she got pregnant, then she got pregnant again... Oh, jeez, why am I telling you all this like you don’t already know it? I think I might be a little nervous.”
She smiled and ran her soft hand over the back of his neck. “Not anymore, Tom. Not with me.”
“You’re not ready for this, Lola. Becky left when Zach was only two. He’s fourteen now. We were just separated a couple of years but then got our divorce. Even after the divorce, I still let her spend nights. Weekends. It was easier if she just came home. We were in that big house and she didn’t have much space of her own, not enough room to take four kids back to her apartment for a weekend. They’d have been miserable. And I—” He shook his head. Then he looked at her. “I welcomed her into the bed even though we weren’t married and I was pretty sure she was dating around. I’m not an idiot, I know what dating means when you’re a grown-up. I knew there were men, though I didn’t ask her and she didn’t tell me. But I didn’t care...”
“Tom, please go easy on yourself. You’re human. You had a bond with her and you were lonely. Not to mention overworked and raising four kids. So you got shagged by your ex-wife? Is that the worst thing you could—”
“It’s not the worst thing,” he said. “Becky eventually seemed to have a good life, a nice place in Aurora, a decent job and girlfriends. I never even questioned how she could afford a nice car and a great town house on her salary working for a plastic surgeon. She was just an office worker. Then she got in trouble and called me for help. She got arrested for soliciting. She said it was all a misunderstanding. Then I found out it was the third time she’d been arrested—all misunderstandings, she said. I hooked her up with Cal Jones. He’s a criminal lawyer. He got her case thrown out so she didn’t even pay a fine. But, Lola, my ex-wife was a hooker. She probably still is.”
“Holy smokes, you weren’t kidding! If you’d dared me to guess what personal stuff you were going to tell me, that would be way down on the list below ‘my ex-wife is a space alien.’”
“I know,” he said. “She has a lot of excuses. She was an escort, she said. There are a lot of men, particularly older, very rich men, who want a woman to spend an evening with them when they’re in the area. There were several ‘regulars’ and they didn’t necessarily have sex. They had relationships, she said. Conversation. Someone to take to the restaurant rather than eat alone.
“Then I took in her lifestyle and realized these men she escorted paid her a fortune and I may be just a country bumpkin but you don’t give a woman a lot of money to watch her cut her meat. So, she said she stopped doing that. But her lifestyle didn’t suffer at all so I don’t believe her. It changed everything. She can only see the kids here in Timberlake, she isn’t allowed to stay over at the house and the kids aren’t allowed to go to her house. And she wasn’t crawling in my bed again, that’s for sure.”
“Oh, Tom, you must have been so upset.”
“Yeah, I was,” he said. “I can still get all pissed off about it if I chew on it awhile. What kind of example is that for your kids? Huh? But you know Becky—she’s so pretty and so sweet, she really can manipulate things and get her way. Once I thought about it, I had no trouble picturing her as an escort. Or whatever that was.”
“Did the kids notice that you weren’t letting her spend as much time with them?” Lola asked.
“Nah. They’re fourteen, sixteen, nineteen and twenty-one. They’re busy. They’re trying to hatch their own plans. Jackson said something about
a year ago. He said he noticed I wasn’t inviting Mom to stay over. And I said, ‘We’ve been divorced eight years now, maybe it’s time I accepted the fact that we’re divorced.’ And good old Jackson said, ‘’Bout time, man. You’re not that old. Maybe you’ll get lucky like me and get a nice girlfriend.’ At the time he said that, having a girlfriend was the last thing on my mind.” He squeezed her hand.
She frowned slightly. “Are you sure you’re really ready to move on?”
“Come on,” he said. “We already have. There are a couple of things I worry about. The kids. I’ve been holding Becky in place by threatening her that I’d tell the kids if she didn’t do things my way. I wasn’t being mean. I don’t want them exposed to her lifestyle. I don’t want them in the house she used to entertain men. I wasn’t going to have her in my bed. In fact, I drove all the way to Denver for a checkup to make sure she hadn’t passed any of her little escort business on to me. I didn’t want her staying overnight at all. Luckily the kids barely noticed because she doesn’t come that often and we’re all like ships passing in the night. But, Lola, what about the kids? I have to tell them, don’t I?”
Lola visibly withdrew. “Oh... I don’t know...”
He was shaking his head. “I hate pretending. I hate covering up things. You know, my great-great-grandfather was a bootlegger and people still whisper it. I have an uncle who had two families, but no one knows the other family and everyone snickers. They have a million little rat holes they can’t talk about. I’m so torn. I don’t want my kids not to know the truth but I don’t want to screw them up with it, either. When I knocked up Becky in high school, my dad went real hard on me. He told me to get jobs, work, save my money, take care of my family. He didn’t exactly reach out. Then when Becky was pregnant the second time my mom took me aside and said, ‘Do your best and we’ll help where we can. Your dad should be more understanding—when we got married you were a bun in the oven.’ So you know what? I told Jackson—I told him I didn’t regret a thing, that my life with my family was precious to me, but he should use his head and plan his children better. Then he might not have to work so hard to take care of them.”
