“Why did you tell her that?” I griped. “She’ll be gossiping about us now!”
Vince shrugged. “It felt true.”
“Well, it’s not!” I said, pointing a finger at him.
He grabbed my finger and pulled it gently to his lips, kissing it before sucking it into his mouth. I inhaled sharply, feeling an unexpected tingle of lust as my skin heated with a full-body blush.
Then he gave me a cheeky grin and leaned closer.
“You’ll change your mind, Gracie. I can wait.”
And he sauntered off, smiling to himself. Which is when Cady found me with my mouth still hanging open.
“Oh my friggin’ God, that was so hot!” she gulped, fanning herself. “What’s going on with you and Mr. Knob-head?”
It had been so long since I’d thought of him that way, it took me a second to realize who she was talking about.
“Just Vince being Vince,” I said, still flustered.
“Hmm, methinks you protest too much, Counselor. I mean, phew! I could feel the heat from 20 feet away.”
“He’s being annoying,” I countered. “I’m irritated not turned on. He told your mom we were dating. She asked for an invitation to our wedding!”
Cady laughed so hard, there were tears in her eyes. “Oh, hell, that’s awesome! I can’t wait to be your maid of honor.”
“Stop it!” I said crossly. “People will hear you.”
She sniggered, then gave me a big hug. “Whatever you say, hon. But that guy has it bad for you. Don’t break his fluffy little heart.”
She reeled away in a zig-zag pattern across the floor, groping Rick’s ass along the way as he gave her a tolerant smile.
Was it true? Did Vince really like me that much? I knew he was attracted to me and we’d become friends, sort of, but surely I didn’t have the power to break his heart? It was an unnerving thought. I’d felt his vulnerability when he’d told me about his ex-girlfriend, and I understood much better now why he’d kept all other relationships as shallow as possible. But was he asking me for something else, something deeper…?
He’d already invited me into his life and entrusted me with his dogs, and they were his family—far more precious to him than anything. I tried to examine how I felt about Vince: what would it be like to date him? Chaotic and confusing, definitely; he could still be arrogant, and he was very vain, spending more time looking in the mirror than I ever did; but he was also fun and exciting, completely impulsive, living life by the seat of his pants. He was kind, he could be sweet. And I had to admit that he was hot.
So the question was, why wouldn’t I date him?
Not while he was my client, of course. But after?
With so many thoughts whirling through my brain, it was lucky that I remembered I had a job to do and went to check with the hotel staff who were ready for Cady and Rick’s guests to be seated.
There were 16 of us, including the rabbi who was going to conduct the ceremony and her husband.
The seating placements had been planned with precision, trying to ensure that everyone would be happy with their places. Cady assured me that at least one member of her family would undoubtedly be pissed but she could live with that.
She was at the head of the table with Rick, of course, then going around it was Mr. and Mrs. Roberts, me, Vince, Ben and Leon the ex-rugby players, Cady’s Uncle Gerald and Grandma Callaghan at the foot of the table, then Cady’s brother Davy, with Nana Dubicki next to Rabbi Lisa Buchdahl and her husband, and finally Cady’s parents, Rachel and Sandy.
Cady had tried hard to meet everyone’s conversational requirements, but failing that, she’d ordered enough champagne to drown a herd of hippos.
Fascinating factoid: the collective noun for hippos is pod, school or bloat, which seems a bit unkind to hippos.
“Well,” said Nana Dubicki loudly as she allowed Davy to help her to her seat, “I never thought this day would come.”
Cady laughed. “You and me both, Nana.”
“Girls your age would have been considered on the shelf in my day,” added Grandma Callaghan. “Spinsters. But times have changed.”
“Mom!” Cady’s dad yelped from the other end of the table, but his mother was on a roll, enjoying being the center of attention.
“A woman over 29 was an old maid if she wasn’t married and you’re, what, 45?”
Cady choked on her water. “Still a mere stripling of 38, Grandma.”
“Yes, that’s what I said, pushing 40. You were lucky to have someone take you off your father’s hands.”
“Huh,” Cady said accompanied by a roll of her eyes, “I thought I was off Dad’s hands once I landed my first job after college and paid back my loans five years later, but I could be wrong.”
“And I’m the lucky one,” Rick said quietly, but Grandma Callaghan was too deaf to hear him.
“Thank you, honey,” Cady said, kissing her fiancé sweetly.
“You’d better not get lucky with my sister before the wedding tomorrow,” Davy said with a threatening leer before bursting into loud laughter.
Cady picked up a bread roll to toss at him but her mom grabbed her hand and made her put it back.
Rick’s parents were watching it all like a tennis match, wondering if there was an umpire.
“Doug and I married when we were in our late thirties,” said Rabbi Buchdahl with a calming smile, putting an end to that conversation.
Vince leaned toward me and whispered, “Fook me! I should have brought me tin hat! Those two grans are lethal!”
I nodded. “I think they’re just warming up.”
“Are you two young men married?” asked Nana Dubicki as she looked over at Leon and Ben. “Or are you homosexuals?”
“Mom!” yelped Cady’s mother.
“What? I can’t say ‘homosexual’?” Nana Dubicki frowned.
“Er, no, we’re just mates,” Leon said, tugging at his collar. “Um, friends. Former teammates. We were in a rugby team with Rick.”
“Rugby? That’s like football without helmets, isn’t it? No wonder all you boys get concussions. Does it affect your memory?”
“I’m not sure,” Leon said with a straight face. “I’ve forgotten.”
Ben coughed into his napkin, and Davy laughed out loud.
“I can’t eat this spicy food,” Grandma Callaghan complained, poking at her starter course.
“It’s only got a little black pepper on it, Mom,” Cady’s dad sighed.
“Like I said, far too spicy, it gives me terrible gas.”
“I’ll ask the chef to make you a plain salad, Gran,” Cady said with a gentle smile. “No pepper.”
“Thank you, dear. I hope you’ll learn to cook now that you’re about to be married. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
“Or his dick,” Vince whispered. “Best to start with a bit of dick and order take-out.”
“This pear and blue cheese salad is delicious,” I said loudly, elbowing Vince in the ribs as he grinned at me.
“It’s nice to see you looking so well, Grace dear,” said Grandma Callaghan. “You were always such a skinny Minnie but you’ve got a little more meat on your bones these days. Men like a little meat.”
Cady’s Uncle Gerald went red in the face as he tried not to laugh, and everyone else suddenly found their plates fascinating as Davy added, “I prefer fish.”
I know that Cady’s grandma didn’t mean to upset me, and I was well aware that both grans had no filter, but I hated my size being discussed like that. My throat closed up so I couldn’t eat another bite.
“Ignore the old bat,” said Vince, throwing his arm around the back of my chair. “You’re fookin’ gorgeous.”
Cady threw me a commiserating look, then took charge. “How are your piles now, Grandma? Are they still giving you trouble?”
“Oh, yes, I’m a martyr to my bowels, dear. When I went to see Dr. Smithson, he said that I should sit in a warm salt bath for 20 minutes every morning. But wh
o has time to do that? Besides, those cashiers at the market are nosy—they’d ask what I wanted with all that salt. And I’m hardly going to talk about my piles in public.”
She sounded so indignant, I couldn’t help smiling.
“Can we not talk about bodily functions or illnesses while we’re eating,” said Cady’s mom firmly, then turned to Vincent. “Tell us about your plans for the Canine Crusader, please!”
“Oh, yes,” said Rabbi Buchdahl excitedly. “We donated to your campaign. It was wonderful. We have two rescue pugs at home: Sid and Ollie.”
Vince threw her his patented grin. “Cheers, Rabbi! That was fookin’ fab of you. Well, I’ve got a few ideas and I’m definitely going to do another fashion show next year. Maybe an underwear special. I’ve started a new clothing line for dog-lovers—boxers and briefs with paw prints on them. Gracie’s tried them—they’re alright, in’t they?”
I blushed as everyone turned to stare at me. “Very comfortable,” I muttered.
“Ooh, awesome!” said Cady. “Can I have some of those for Rick—he’d look so cute! Do they come in gold?”
Now Rick was blushing and his parents looked utterly bemused.
“And I’m working with a designer for S&M underwear with a dog theme—we’re looking at what we can do with studded collars and vegan leather,” Vince announced cheerfully.
“Leather underwear?” Nana Dubicki questioned. “Won’t that chafe?”
The table exploded in laughter as the old lady kept repeating,
“What? What did I say?”
But I did notice Cady’s Uncle Gerald asking Vince for details of his IG page.
Soon after we’d reached the dessert stage, Cady rattled a spoon against her champagne glass and stood up.
“Unaccustomed as I am to speaking in public…” she grinned as everyone chuckled, “and being the shy, retiring type…” more laughter, “I do have a few words to say tonight before the big tamale tomorrow. First of all, Rabbi Lisa, thank you so much for being our officiant and for joining us here this evening—and thank you, Doug, for jumping on the crazy train with us—it means a lot to both of us,” and she smiled down at Rick before turning to me.
I felt Vince’s arm across the back of my chair, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on my bare shoulder.
“Grace, I’d like to thank you for organizing an amazing bachelorette party—I’ve paid the blackmailer and we can get our panties back soon—but seriously! It was awesome and everyone had a great time. I know how much like herding cats it is to transport twenty-seven over-excited women around Manhattan without anyone breaking so much as a nail or losing more than a false eyelash. And thank you for organizing our dinner tonight and so much of our wedding day with your usual flare and patience. These are from me and Rick to say thank you.”
And then she presented me with an enormous bunch of flowers and a tiny jewel box containing a pair of stunning diamond earrings.
I looked up to see that the tears in my eyes matched hers.
“But mostly,” she said, her voice becoming hoarse, “I’d like to thank you for being the best friend a woman could want. Since we met at college twenty years ago, you’ve seen me at my best and at my worst, and you’ve always had my back. The woman I’ve become today thanks you with all her heart. So, everyone, please raise your glasses to the most awesome woman, the most fantastic friend, whose kindness and loyalty I’ve always been able to count on: to Grace!”
I dabbed at my eyes as everyone toasted me, and Cady walked around the table.
“Love you, Grace Cooper,” she mumbled into my neck as we hugged tightly, wobbling on our high heels.
“More than lemon-glazed donuts?” I half-sobbed.
“More than every Dunkin Donut store in the whole damn world! Thank you. For everything.” Then she let me go and turned her weepy gaze on Vince. “You look after my best girl or I will slay you slowly.”
He seemed a little surprised, as anyone would with a threat of dismemberment during the wedding toasts, but he grinned at her and declared he’d try not to ‘fook up’.
Cady wobbled back to the head of the table, planting a hot one on Rick as she sat down. He smiled at her, kissing the crown of her head gently as she sobbed on his shoulder. He whispered something in her ear, but she shook her head and carried on crying.
Clearing his throat, he stood up, obviously preferring when his wife-to-be took the limelight.
“Cady and I would like to thank you all for coming tonight,” he said, his soft voice only just carrying around the room. “It means a lot to us to have our families and friends here. Mum and Dad, thank you for traveling all this way to watch me marry the woman of my dreams, and I’m really looking forward to you getting to know how wonderful she is. Thank you for being the best parents a man could have—thank you for always supporting me.”
And he presented his mother with flowers and his father a pair of first class plane tickets to visit in the summer. He hugged his parents, his gesture saying even more than his loving words.
Ben and Leon received a surprise gift, too—tickets for a helicopter ride over the city the next morning.
Then he turned to his soon-to-be in-laws.
“Nana Dubicki and Grandma Callaghan, thank you both for your advice. It was, um, very interesting. Gerald, Davy, thank you for being here to support Cady—and for not giving me a hard time. Mr. and Mrs. Callaghan—Rachel, Sandy—thank you for allowing me to marry your beautiful daughter and for welcoming me into your family. She means the world to me and I’d give her the moon and stars as well if I could. But please know that I will always treasure her and always look after her—when she lets me.”
Rachel had dissolved into quiet sobs, and even Sandy was wiping a stray tear as Rick gifted them with more flowers and season tickets to the New York Giants.
Rachel leapt to her feet and grabbed Rick, kissing his cheek over and over, tears flowing down her own cheeks. Sandy stood and pumped Rick’s arm and thumped him heartily on the back.
Finally, he was allowed to continue.
“Grace, thank you so much for being Cady’s best friend and our beautiful maid of honor. And maybe I should apologize to you for picking Vince as my best man.”
I giggled, because of course that was my first reaction, too. Vince casually scratched his nose with his middle finger to let Rick know what he thought of that comment.
“Vince, mate, you know I’m joking—mostly. But even though you got arrested on my stag night, and even though you lost your trousers, and even though I never got to eat my dinner, it was a truly memorable evening.”
Everyone laughed, not entirely sure if Rick was being serious. I could have told them: Rick was definitely serious.
“But I do have to thank you for encouraging me to come to the States in the first place—because if I hadn’t, I’d never have met this beautiful woman at my side, and I can’t imagine living without her. So for that reason alone, Cady and I have been to Walmart and bought you this gift.”
He grinned at Vince, pulling a small Tiffany’s box from his pocket. Inside was a pair of cufflinks with diamonds chips in the shape of paw prints.
“Oh, mate, these are epic! Cheers, buddy. Thank you, Cady. I know you chose them and not that loser, because these are class.”
Rick punched him in the shoulder, then they hugged tightly
Finally, Rick returned to his seat and it was his father’s turn to speak, probably the quietest person at the table.
He cleared his throat several times before he began.
“It’s been lovely to meet you all,” he began gamely. “And it’s been wonderful to see that Rick will be joining such a warm and loving…”
“…and loud!” Cady shouted out, making everyone laugh.
“…and happy family,” Mr. Roberts smiled. “Thank you Rachel and Sandy for welcoming us, and for welcoming our son into your family.” Then he turned in our direction. “Grace, Vincent, my wife Sheila and I would like to thank you for a
ll your hard work organizing the stag party and hen party for the happy couple, as well as tonight’s dinner. It’s been lovely getting to know you both, and we wish you every joy in your own journey through life together.”
I nearly choked but Vince grinned happily. What had he been telling them?
Then Mr. Roberts smiled down at his almost daughter-in-law.
“Cady, most of all we’d like to thank you. We Roberts men are not much for talking, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I couldn’t let this moment go by without telling you how wonderful it is to see Rick so happy. His mother and I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Thank you for loving our boy.”
By now, all the women at the table were sobbing, Sandy and Mr. Roberts were also wiping their eyes, and Rick was bursting with pride and joy.
Mr. Roberts looked around the table. “Could you all please stand and raise your glasses to our beautiful daughter-in-law … or you will be tomorrow. To Cady!”
“Mazel tov!” yelled Rabbi Buchdahl.
We cheered, we toasted, we bathed in the glow of happiness pouring out of every person, and Vince grabbed my waist and planted a huge kiss on my mouth.
“Oh!” I gasped, kissing him back. “It’s such a wonderful evening!”
“Our turn next,” he whispered.
Wait, what?
Vince
Erik the plumber was my designated dog-sitter for the day of Rick and Cady’s wedding. There weren’t many people I’d trust with the kids for a whole day, but he was one of them—and he was available. All he wanted by way of payment was a couple of slices of wedding cake (cheap) and an Armani cravat like Uncle Sal’s (not cheap, but fair enough).
It had rained heavily in the night turning my backyard into a swamp of muddy puddles, but now the sun was breaking through and it promised to be a nice day for early March.
I’d always thought that marriage was a great institution … if you liked institutions … but today I felt envious of the commitment that Rick and Cady were about to make.
Shaking off the shadows that followed me, I fed the hounds, then took Tyson out for a quick two mile run. Erik had promised to walk them all later, but Tyson needed more exercise than Tap and Zeus.
The World According to Vince - A romantic comedy (Gym or Chocolate Book 2) Page 15
