“Right, now we’ll have some answers.” He reached out and clasped her forearms in a loose grip. The alarm in her eyes when she glanced at him spoke volumes. “So we’ve established you haven’t eaten in some time. Liam will remedy that for you, won’t you, lad?” Without waiting for an affirmative, Braun continued ruthlessly. “At a guess, if you have no money for food, you won’t have the resources to pay for the basics like rent and utilities. How much debt are you in, little one?”
Poor frightened little bird was trembling in his hold. She avoided his gaze with admirable effort, looking everywhere but in his eyes. He’d correct that in just a moment if she decided to lie to him again.
“I-I can’t make my rent next month,” she admitted softly, tugging lightly on her arms as though that would make him release her. “Most of the utilities have been cut off already.”
“For fuck’s sake, Bo,” Liam muttered.
“Quiet, Liam. There’s no judgement here.” Braun slid his hands up her arms to her shoulders, willing her to lift her gaze to his. After a few moments of silence, the little mouse dared to look at him. “There she is, good girl. Keep your eyes on me, darlin’. So, you turned down the offer to dance here for me, yes? How did you figure on making your rent, catching up on your bills?”
The downturn of her mouth said she didn’t have a clue how to get herself out of this hole. Her continued silence solidified his theory.
Something she’d said when she first came into the club stuck with him and he called her on it now. “What strings did you assume would be waiting to tangle you up, Bodie? You could have kept the money, ignored the card and the bracelet, and I’d have been none the wiser. It’s not like I know where you live.”
Her lip curled. “He’d have told you if you asked.”
A pained exclamation erupted from Liam, as though she dealt him a solid kick to the balls. “Jesus, Bo, is that what we’ve come to now? I wouldn’t break your confidence that way and you fucking know it.”
Braun lifted a hand. “You two can hash things back to normal when Boadicea and I are done with this clusterfuck, William. Attention on me, little one, and answer the question please.”
Her breath shuddered out. “If I’d kept the money, you could’ve asked for anything in return. You could have asked for the money back with interest, and I wouldn’t be able to pay it.” She bit her lip and swallowed hard. “Sex is always a commodity. Maybe you’d tell me I’m stuck performing here for you for the next ten years. I don’t know what the strings are when I can’t understand your motives.”
“Clever girl,” he murmured, impressed with her honesty. Maybe she was a quick learner. “Let me say, for the record, there were absolutely no strings involved. After your quarrel with William over here, he’s had a face like someone punched his puppy. I like my staff happy and my customers content, little one. I’ve heard from different people about a very talented dancer showing off her skills in Phoenix, so when I had a meeting there today, I decided to see if I could find you. Struck gold after an hour, and you looked as miserable as this one,” Braun told her with a jerk of his head toward Liam. “My hope was you’d come back here so we could discuss the offer Liam made you a couple weeks ago regards dancing for the club, hence the card and the entry bracelet. If you decided not to return, I would’ve been out a grand, but that’s the way things go.”
“So it was a bribe.”
He grinned, giving her a wink. “Sure it was. Worked, too.”
She almost smiled despite herself, then ducked her head shyly as though she couldn’t possibly bear the intimacy of sharing her amusement with him. But she was temptation and Braun couldn’t stop himself from nudging her chin up with a fingertip.
That mouth of hers was utterly kissable, especially with the corners so sweetly curved. He could spend a great deal of time memorizing every inch of her stunning features with his lips, working his way down the slender column of her throat to her shoulders, and down...down the long length of her body to discover all the secrets she possessed and kept hidden.
If he couldn’t persuade her to explore her submissive side, he wondered if she would be amenable to spending a few nights in his bed...no kink attached.
He released her shoulders and cupped her face instead, stroking his thumbs over the arch of her cheekbones with little more than a featherlight touch. The way her eyes fluttered closed for a few seconds, and she leaned into his left palm informed him she was desperate for the comfort of human contact. Such a shame she was too stubborn—or too afraid—to ask for it.
“Take the money in the spirit with which it was given,” he murmured as she almost purred. Her head was heavy in his hands as she stopped fighting for a few moments and put her trust in him. “The job offer still stands if you want to change your mind, little one, but neither Liam nor I will stand by and watch you starve with no roof over your head.”
Bodie made a soft noise of protest, then jerked away from him. Two hasty steps back put her out of his reach, and the tenuous bond between them stretched. “I can’t dance in front of a crowd of people whipping each other and having sex. I just can’t.”
Braun hummed softly. “Well, the whipping section is over in the second barn, darlin’, so that wouldn’t cause you any distress. You’d be dancing in here. Granted, there’s usually some bondage and a lot of sex happening, but this section of the club is what you might call the social area. You wouldn’t be required to take part unless you made the choice to explore your own sexuality. Even then, it would be at your pace. Nothing happens in my club without consent.”
She flinched when he said the word sexuality. Had she had a bad experience her first time? Or had she indulged her needs with someone Liam didn’t know about? Perhaps the altercation with her mother and the chain fence was the cause of her distress. Whatever the reason, she’d need handling with care so he didn’t scare her off if curiosity got the better of her.
“I’m not going to lecture you on the benefits of BDSM, Boadicea, not now. There’s nothing wrong with vanilla if kink doesn’t do anything for you, but I want you to know you’re safe here at all times. Between the monitors who enforce my rules in every section and the people who abide by them, there’s little room for bad apples to take root.”
A shaky hand lifted to her hair, and she pulled her long black ponytail over her shoulder to worry the sleek locks. Her eyes darted to the money, back to Braun. Indecision was an open book on her features.
Braun leaned forward and snagged the roll off the bar, holding it out to her. “Take it, pay your rent, do whatever you need to with it. That’s what I’ll pay you every weekend you work; if you want to earn what’s here,” he said casually, “that’s fine by me. Do an hour tonight on stage, see if it suits you. If you’re too uncomfortable to make it a regular thing, I’ll honor your decision. Sound fair?”
Those big blue eyes were so conflicted, it took all his self-control not to yank her onto his lap and cuddle the anxiety out of her. He imagined she’d try to rip his throat out if he overstepped her boundaries.
Her sigh was heavy and full of surrender. “You’re persistent, aren’t you?”
“I prefer tenacious,” he retorted. “When I see something I want, I’ll go to any lengths to get it. When it comes to hiring people, I make sure we’re both satisfied with the arrangement. If you need something, little one, just tell me. I’ll do my best to see you right.”
Tentatively, moving cautiously like an animal wary of a trap, Bodie reached out and plucked the money from his outstretched hand. “I could manage an hour tonight, I guess.”
Braun eased back into his seat and took a long drink of soda. He really wished it was something stronger now, but oh well. “That’s a clever girl. I have the other barns to check before we open tonight so I’ll leave you in William’s capable hands, little one. The doors open at eight, so you’re welcome to stay here until then. If not, I’ll see you this evening.”
The stricken look on her face was adorable. “Y
ou’re leaving?”
Obviously, she didn’t know which was the lesser of two evils, Braun thought. Him or Liam. But he was the devil she wasn’t fighting with, the one who hadn’t ripped her heart out with thoughtlessly spoken words. She might prefer to dance with the devil, but she needed to sort out this mess with Liam before it was too late to mend the bridge.
“Running a sex club requires time and a discerning eye, Bodie. Equipment won’t inspect itself and as I said before, the safety of my members is paramount.” He tapped his hand on the gleaming oak and rose, frowning when she stepped further away. “Liam will feed you while you talk. One good thing about this lifestyle is that communication is the foundation of every relationship. Communicate, Boadicea. Let him know how you feel but allow him to do the same.”
Giving her a smile and tipping his head to Liam to hand over the reins, Braun strode toward the back of the barn where the doors leading to the covered walkway and the next section of Avalon were located.
Hopefully there’d be no blood spilled upon his return.
*
Bodie’s system was still jittering as Mr. Mysterious—as she’d come to think of him—walked away with all the grace and control of a tiger sauntering through the jungle. She fervently hoped he hadn’t noticed how she quailed in his presence, particularly when he’d cupped her face and she just...melted into his hands.
Bad, bad Boadicea.
She was exhausted from the internal emotion gauge inside her swinging from fearful to bitchy and back again. One minute she was ready to stand her ground and spit at him, the next she wanted to roll over and expose her throat like the good girl he said she was.
Fuck, when he said good girl in that dark voice, with that hint of Ireland spicing things up...her body reacted in ways she hadn’t thought possible. Her panties were damp, making her feel uncomfortably needy, and her breasts were heavy, aching. She was pretty sure her face had lit up with a stop sign blush more than once.
Her fingers tightened around the money in her hand and she thanked all the gods watching over her. She hadn’t lost as much pride as she’d thought by taking the job. Somehow it seemed easier saying yes to the stranger—no, to Braun Fitzpatrick, even though he hadn’t bothered to introduce himself to her properly, nor she him—than it had to Liam.
Liam.
Her best friend was an arm’s length away and yet so much further than that. The chasm between them seemed endless, a yawning pit of pain waiting to swallow her whole if she ventured near.
Oh, she was still angry with him. So very angry with him for what he’d said. But the loss of him ate at her heart, buried into her soul. The strangest of grief, mourning the demise of someone who still lived and breathed. Every day that passed without speaking to him, sharing a joke or her daily adventures, stretched into eternity.
She missed him, goddamn it, but she didn’t know how to get back to how they’d been. Didn’t know if they’d ever be the people they were before he said the words that tore her into pieces.
“Bodie. Why the hell didn’t you tell me things had gotten so bad?”
Wasn’t that just like him? Jumping into the fray like a white knight? Bodie slipped her mask on before she turned to face him, barely restraining herself from clambering over the bar and hugging him. She wasn’t willing to open herself so quickly to being hurt again.
“What do you care? I’m the product of my family upbringing, aren’t I? I should rot like the rest of them.” The bitterness in her tone slipped free before she could stop it, and she saw it strike a mark she hadn’t known she was aiming for. “I’m no longer your concern, Liam.”
“Baby,” he said so gently despite the pain in his eyes, “you’ve never stopped being my concern. I messaged you, wanting to apologize. Called you more times this last two weeks than I have in the past two years. You didn’t answer, didn’t call me back.”
Her throat closed; she coughed, trying to ease the constriction. “I had to sell my phone. I couldn’t afford to pay for it, and with you gone, there was no one to speak to anyway.”
Regret flashed over his face, making him look older than he was. “I’ve been right here, Bo. Right here, kicking myself for saying what I did. The stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t mean it to sound the way it did. It was cruel and unjust, and you have every right to kick me out of your life if that’s what you want. But I’ve missed you so fucking much, it’s like there’s a hole in my chest that throbs with every breath.”
Yeah, she knew how that felt. “You hurt me.”
“I know. Trust me, I’d do anything to pay penance for it. Nothing’s been right since you walked out of here, Bodie. Nothing. Hell, I haven’t been able to top a partner in two weeks,” he muttered in disgust. “The last time that happened, I’d had the flu for a goddamn month. Food tastes like shit. There’s not a thing that can hold my attention because all I can think about is you and how you looked when you walked away.”
For the first time since she came back to the club, Bodie opened her eyes and let herself look at Liam. His usually immaculate blond hair was a fraction longer than he liked it, roughly tousled and unkempt, and he had the start of a rather nice beard. Untidy, untrimmed, but it had potential.
But beneath the facial hair, his cheekbones were stark. There were dark shadows beneath his tired gray eyes, a stark contrast to the paleness of his skin. In all honesty, his face looked as bad as she felt.
She wanted to cry. The pressure of her life crashed down on her hard enough she sniffled, her throat squeezing shut as though as a fist lodged in her airway. Grinding her teeth, afraid she would let the sluice gates open and not get them shut again, she focused on finding her strength, her calm, and casting aside what made her vulnerable.
“Oh Bodie. Baby.” Liam moved faster than she’d ever seen him, hurrying down the length of the bar and flipping the hatch hard enough for it to crack against the shelving unit beside it. His eyes never left her as he came to her and simply enfolded her in his arms. “I’m sorry, Bo. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Her cheek rested on his chest as he rocked them both from side to side, shushing her softly. One would think she was on the verge of hysterics, but only she knew the violence of the emotional storm brewing inside her. Breathing deep of his scent, so comforting and familiar, there was no choice but to let her anger dissipate.
Living without this, without him as her rock? She couldn’t do it. The vow she’d made to herself earlier in the day couldn’t hold up against the sense of coming home she found in his arms, but...
“I don’t know if I can trust you anymore,” she murmured and felt him stiffen. She turned her forehead to press against the tense muscles of his sternum.
His hands framed her head, eased her away so he could stare down at her. Gray eyes were dark with hurt and concern, but he didn’t push her away as she expected—as she would have done if he’d declared he couldn’t trust her. “If that’s the case, I have no one but myself to blame, Bo. I’m not making excuses for what I said, because there are none. There’s a world of difference between you and those fuckers who raised you, baby. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.”
“Part of you did. The part of you that can’t help but dispense the truth. You’re an honest guy, Liam, but...knowing you think that of me, believe I could be anything like my father...” Fuck, this was why she didn’t talk about her feelings. “It made me feel dirty. Like I’ve been tainted all these years. Like maybe I’m not so far removed from them after all.”
“That was never my intention, Bodie. You’re sweet and kind, which immediately gives you a headstart on your bitch of a mother, not to mention smart, talented, and compassionate. Abraham can’t hold a candle to you, baby.” His fingers flexed on her head as though he was thinking violent thoughts. “Tell me what I need to do to start rebuilding your faith in me.”
How did one go about rebuilding what was crumbled and unstable? Was it better to demolish what was left and relay the foundations, or try sa
lvage the remnants and recreate what had been there before?
Head beginning to throb with stress, Bodie closed her eyes and sighed. She didn’t have all the answers—hell, she was struggling to come up with just one. “Ask me something else, Liam. I never thought I’d be in this position with you.”
“Me neither.” His sigh was as heavy as hers, just as mournful. But he pressed his lips to her forehead in a brotherly kiss. “I’ll find a way to fix this, Bodie. I promise. Right now, I’m just grateful you’re talking to me, even if you can’t forgive me yet. Why don’t I get you some food? You can eat, then take a nap and get rid of that headache.”
Her stomach chimed in noisily, giving him an affirmative before she could say anything. It amazed her how he could read her so easily, down to the brewing headache. He was still the same Liam, she told herself. Still the same soft-hearted, caring guy she’d known for years.
“Put that money somewhere safe before you lose it,” he continued, stepping back reluctantly. “Braun doesn’t make grand gestures often, so you’ve made an impression on him. I know you’re not sure about working here, Bo, but if you take the job after tonight, you’ve landed on your feet with him. He’s a stubborn bastard, strict, but he takes cares of his employees.”
The sudden change of subject threw her for a moment. As her sluggish brain switched gears, she watched him head back behind the bar. “It’s not him I’m worried about.”
“Hmmm. I know what you worry about, baby, and it always comes down to sex.” Liam stroked his hand down her arm before heading back behind the bar and busying himself with gathering things from places she couldn’t see. “Sex is something you’ve always shied away from discussing, and it still baffles me. Not that I blame you after what your fucking mother did to you.”
Bodie shuddered at the memory. She never wanted to feel that helpless again. Chained and padlocked by her wrists and ankles to the construction site fence, cold and naked and exposed, she’d barely stopped herself from screaming broken pleas for help. Even as the wounds from her mother’s cronies bled crimson onto the dirty ground, she’d held her tongue until her rescuer arrived the next morning.
Dance for Me Page 4
