Though I hadn’t intended to, I pulled away from her. “I can’t,” I said. The thought alone felt like some kind of blasphemy. “I can’t forget what I believe in. I know you have, but it’s not so easy for me.” I winced at the expression on Hannah’s face. “I don’t mean to judge you, sister. You’ve just… always been so headstrong. So self-assured. You’ve always believed that you were doing the right thing, no matter what that thing was. I’m not like you, in that way. I know that disappoints you…”
“It does not,” Hannah insisted, her tone firm yet gentle. “You’re your own person, Sarah. How could I begrudge you that? Besides, you’re the responsible one. Growing up between Beth on one side and me on the other, you had to be. Someone had to rein us in. Clean up our messes. Well, besides Mother.” She smiled ruefully. “How is she?”
“She misses you,” I told her. “Father won’t let her talk about it, but I know she does. She… spends a lot of time looking out the window. I think she’s waiting…”
For a moment, Hannah’s eyes misted. They took on this faraway look I’d seen before, a mimicry of the exact expression I’d seen on our mother’s face every time I caught her staring into the distance, past the fields and the fences and toward the road, knowing she was thinking of Hannah—our sister with no name and no memory. Not one approved or acknowledged by Father, at least. I had no idea how he could be so cruel. How he could just expect us to forget a family member—a daughter, a sister. Especially since it was clear to me that he hadn’t forgotten Hannah, either. Father thought he hid his emotions well, but he wasn’t always aware anyone was watching.
After a lengthy silence, Hannah nodded. “I miss her too. I wish I could…” She trailed off, and when she spoke again, she’d changed the subject. “While you’re here, I want you to forget all those responsibilities you had to take on. You’re a young woman, Sarah Miller. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. It’s about damn time you started living it the way you see fit. Don’t lose that spark of curiosity just because Father worked so hard to extinguish it.”
“That’s not fair,” I said with a frown. “Father isn’t perfect, but he’s never done anything to make me stop respecting him. He only ever looks out for us—”
Hannah’s face hardened. “Right. Everything he’s ever done has been for our own good. That’s what you’re going to tell me, right?” She sat back in her chair, disgust pulling at the corners of her lips. “But he’s not here, is he? You are. And that means you’re in charge. You get to make the decisions. That’s all I’m saying, all right?”
“All right,” I agreed, albeit tentatively. “That doesn’t stop it from being frightening, though.”
“Tell me about it,” Hannah said with a little laugh. “I’ve been through all this before. It gets better—I can tell you that much. You’re lucky. I had nobody to show me the way when I first arrived. Nobody. But you have me, and you have Reid.” She cocked her head. “You should give him another chance, you know. Maybe somewhere one-on-one, without so many distractions.”
I nearly choked on my coffee; I could feel some of it still burning in my nose. “Wh-what are you suggesting?!”
Hannah grinned. “No, no, nothing like that! Jeez, you have a dirtier mind than I do.” When she stopped giggling at my misfortune, she added, “Something… wholesome. I know you think the real world—the English world—is one giant orgy of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, but there’s more to it than that. People do go on actual, more ‘traditional’ dates.”
“Except in this context, I have no idea what ‘traditional’ means,” I reminded her, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. My throat suddenly felt so tight. “Will I have a chaperone, if I were to agree?”
“Do you need one?” she asked, eyebrows raised. Before I could answer, she said, “Let me answer that for you: no, you don’t. You are a grown woman, and these guys… they don’t mean you any harm. You’re safe with Reid. You can trust him.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Really? You’re sure about that, already? We only just met them…”
Hannah shrugged and looked away. “I see how he looks at you. That’s all.”
I was going to press her further, but I never got the chance to. As if on cue, her cell phone began to ring. It startled me enough to make me jump halfway out of my seat, but Hannah waved for me to sit back down as she answered, reminding me once more of the learning curve I was on when it came to all things English.
“Hey there,” she said, like she knew exactly who was calling. Then she paused, a look of mild surprise on her face. “Oh, Reid. Hey. What’s up?” A few seconds of silence passed. “Actually, that sounds like a great idea. We were just talking about something like that. Let me see if Sarah wants to talk.” Covering one end of the phone with her hand, Hannah leaned across the table and said to me quietly, “Reid wants to speak to you. And I think you should let him. Remember what we talked about.”
I took a deep breath. I knew, on some level, that Hannah was right. I needed to open myself up more to the possibilities the English world offered. I needed to experience these things so I knew what I would be giving up by going home, or otherwise, how grateful I ought to be for the home I’d left behind. This was a decision I needed to be taking seriously, not just for my sake or Reid’s, but for my family’s. I held out my hand to accept the call. Hannah placed the phone in my hand and I held it to my ear, checking to make sure it was right-side up first.
“H-hello?”
“Hey, darlin’,” Reid said. His voice sounded a little tinny—it must have been because of the phone. “You sound like you just woke up. I thought you Amish girls were up with the roosters, or whatever?”
“We usually are,” I told him, “but I guess I slept in a little.” I glanced at the clock on Hannah’s wall and sucked in a shocked breath. “Oh. It’s already practically the afternoon.”
Reid laughed. “Yesterday must’ve been pretty exciting for you, if you slept this late.”
“I had trouble sleeping, actually.” Before he could reply, I continued, “That’s not why you called, though, is it? To talk about my sleeping habits, I mean.”
This time, when Reid laughed, it was a low, throaty chuckle. “You’re not wrong. I called to invite you out, actually. Something a little more… traditional, this time.”
I frowned. Everyone was throwing that word around today, it seemed. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve said Hannah and Reid had been talking to each other. I squinted at her, but she didn’t flinch. “What do you mean by ‘traditional’?” I asked.
“Dinner and a movie,” he explained. “I’ll take you out to a cozy little restaurant, and then we’ll sit in a dark theater and watch moving pictures flash across a giant screen for two hours. Sound good?”
“I… guess,” I told him. I didn’t really have a frame of reference for that last part. “I don’t have any money, though…”
“I’m asking,” Reid said, “so I’m buying. That’s the way it works out here, in the real world.”
“My world is just as real as yours,” I corrected him. Hannah rolled her eyes. I ignored her. “I just… you remember what we talked about last night. I don’t want to feel like I owe you something I cannot give you right now, and I’m worried that agreeing to this date, as it stands, could give you the wrong impression of what you can expect.”
“I’m not gonna maul you in the theater, Sarah,” Reid told me. I could hear the smile in his voice, and it made me recall the way he’d looked at me last night at the fair. My pulse pounded at the mere memory. “And I don’t expect anything of you except your company. Honest. We’ll just get to know each other a little better—away from my dick bag brothers. Who I am with them is a lot different than who I am without.”
“I’ve noticed,” I murmured, thinking on how Reid postured and preened whenever he was around Ash and Wyatt. It was like he always had something to prove. “And I did enjoy our… talk… on the Ferris wheel.”
When Reid spoke
again, I could tell his smile had turned into a wide grin. “So did I. And I’d like to… talk like that again sometime. When you’re ready for it. I thought tonight could at least be a start, if you’ve decided you still want to put up with me.”
I thought it over for a moment. There really was no question that I wanted to see Reid again, anxiety-inducing as the prospect was. And I was definitely curious about seeing a movie. Late last night, I’d flipped on the TV in Hannah’s living room and had been amazed by it, even though all I ended up watching was an infomercial. And Hannah seemed to think it was a great idea. She kept mouthing “go!” to me as I sat in silence, weighing the pros and cons of immersing myself further in English culture.
Finally, I let myself smile. “Okay. That sounds good. Will you be picking me up here?”
“Absolutely,” Reid said. “How’s six sound? That way we can take our time with dinner and still work in a movie. Wouldn’t want to keep you up too late after last night.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you,” I conceded. And it was, although there was a smugness to Reid’s tone, almost like he was proud of the fact I’d been tossing and turning because of him. “I’ll see you then.”
As I handed the phone back to Hannah, she hit a button on the screen and then squealed. “I’m so excited for you!” she said, grinning from ear-to-ear. “And I can’t wait to give you a makeover!”
Honestly, I was excited too. But also a little confused. Scrunching up my face at her, I said to Hannah, “I’m glad you’re happy… but what’s a makeover?”
13
Reid
“You really are old school, aren’t you?” I said to Sarah, looking around at the faux-‘50s décor of the malt shop she’d chosen as our dining experience for the evening. Between this, my leather jacket, and my classic car, I might just burst into a rendition of Grease Lightning at any minute. “Man, I feel like I should be taking you to a sock hop.”
“I have no idea what any of that means,” Sarah said, hands clasped in front of herself. God, she looked so different out of that black, long-sleeved dress style she’d been wearing since I met her. “But we can eat somewhere else, if you’d like.”
I shook my head, looking her up and down. “No, darlin’. This is good.” And I gestured toward one of the booths near the window, letting her lead the way so I could watch the sway of her ass in the skirt she was wearing.
Sarah was still dressed in a way I considered modest, even though it was obviously scandalous to her. She was wearing a white, sleeveless blouse with pearl buttons up the front of it, only one of which was undone, the collar falling just at the hollow of her throat—and it was tucked into a blue and white, floral print pencil skirt with a small slit in the back to give her room to walk. On the way here, I’d heard the story about how Hannah had tried to force Sarah to wear heels, and how Sarah had chosen a pair of gold ballet flats instead, which she remarked were a lot more comfortable than her typical footwear, if less well-made. She was wearing makeup, too, though not a lot—except for her lips, which Hannah had painted a ruby red.
She looked… flawless. Modern. And to anyone who didn’t know any better, she probably passed for any other girl you might see in a shop like this. But I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was feeling out of place, like she was an outsider. An anachronism.
And she was holding her borrowed clutch purse—it matched her shoes—like someone might run by and steal it at any moment. Her damn knuckles were white. Christ, did this girl ever relax? Then again, given what happened at the fair, maybe that part was understandable. But no one is grabbing her here. Not with me sitting here, staring at her.
A waiter came by with our menus and asked what we wanted to drink. From the look on her face, you might’ve thought Sarah had been asked to come to the front of the class and answer a long division problem. She flipped through the menu, her eyes darting wildly over the items, even as our server rattled off the options the restaurant had. “Coke products,” he said. Like that meant anything to her.
“You like iced tea?” I asked her when her hands began to tremble. She nodded at me, wide-eyed, and I smiled at the waiter. “Sweet tea for the lady and a beer for me. Thanks.” After he’d left, I told her, “You’re gonna wanna try a milkshake later, though. Trust me on that.”
“Thank you,” Sarah said, blowing out a long, labored breath. She fanned herself with her purse and gazed out the window. “I’m sorry. I just… don’t really know how all this works.”
“I can see that,” I replied, glancing over my menu. “You want any help ordering, all you have to do is ask.” I let my gaze roam to her again. “You look gorgeous, by the way. In case I didn’t make that clear when I picked you up.”
Just like she had at Hannah’s apartment, Sarah blushed. The color her cheeks turned was so damn cute, some shade that lay right in between pink and red. “I’m… glad you think so,” she said, fussing with a strand of hair. Hannah had put it up in a loose bun. I liked it better down, but I had to admit, this style suited her.
“I know so,” I said, folding my arms on the table. “I’m not just saying it for shits and giggles. You look really nice in… what do you call them? English clothes?” She nodded. “You’re gonna have to get used to me telling you that you’re pretty, Sarah, because you are, and because I can’t help noticing whenever I’m with you.”
She shifted her gaze to her left. “Is that why people keep staring at me?” she whispered. “I thought maybe I’d done something wrong. Or that I looked ridiculous…”
Curious, I followed her line of sight. There were a few guys here at Johnny’s Diner tonight, some at the counter and a few scattered throughout the tables and booths. A lot of them were here with their dates, and yet all of them kept glancing at Sarah. A few outright stared and I felt something dark begin to burn in my chest, like my lungs and heart had become infested with hunks of smoldering coal. I didn’t like the way they were looking at her. Not one bit. I could see the hunger in their eyes, and it pissed me right the fuck off.
Normally I would have been proud of myself. There was nothing like escorting some beautiful girl through a crowd of men who had to watch and wonder how you got so damn lucky. But with Sarah, it was different. I didn’t know why, but the thought of some other man lusting after her, looking at her the way I did, had me grinding my teeth. I didn’t even realize I was halfway up out of my seat until she put her hand on me.
“Reid…”
I looked down at her. She twined her fingers through mine. A sudden calm passed over me and I sat back down, slowly, at our table. She said, “It’s okay. I’m here with you. Not with them.” And then she smiled at me reassuringly, putting an immediate halt to the withering glare I was inflicting on anyone who dared to so much as tilt their head in our direction.
“Yeah,” I muttered, “I know. But after last night…” I shrugged and leaned back against the plush upholstery. “Well, I think it’s just better to err on the side of caution, you know?”
Sarah frowned. “Do you really think it could happen again?” she asked me.
I shook my head firmly. “No. Not while I’m around.”
I wasn’t about to let what that fucker did yesterday ruin our day today, so I did my best to shrug it off and change the subject to something more befitting a date. I focused on convincing Sarah to order a double-bacon cheeseburger, French fries, and a chocolate milkshake, an All-American trifecta I could hardly believe she’d missed out on as a kid. Knowing the place she came from was so vastly different than the world I’d grown up in was still surreal to me, and I wasn’t sure how deep the rabbit hole truly went. Every word I said, I had to look at Sarah to make sure she understood. But instead of it being off-putting, I relished the opportunity to introduce her to all kinds of new experiences and concepts, and with each passing moment, she seemed a little more confident and at ease with me.
That was exactly what I wanted—for Sarah to let go of her inhibitions and just open up to me
. I wanted to get to know the girl under all the rules and regulations she’d been led to believe would keep her safe. I knew there had to be something more to her than just the shy Amish babe. I could see it in her eyes whenever I taught her something new about my world—that spark. The one that told me she was inquisitive and intelligent and capable of so much more than anyone had ever given her credit for. I got the distinct impression that Sarah had been forced to adhere to “her place” for decades now, and that nobody had realized you can’t put everyone in a box.
It struck me that she didn’t belong with the people she’d grown up with. Not really. She didn’t fit with them, in all the right ways. But with me, in my arms? It was like a puzzle piece that had finally found its mate. The one place in all the world where the parts came together and made sense. I was thinking all of this… after only three days.
What was this girl doing to me? Why did I care so much? Where was the guy who’d committed to a shitty bet at her expense? Where was the Reid Brody who would love ‘em and leave ‘em and never look back? That guy never got attached, let alone so quickly. He would’ve had Sarah bent over by now, her skirt hiked up around her waist, his hips slamming into the backs of her pretty thighs. He would have gotten his dick wet and saturated with the virgin scent of her, and then he would have sauntered up to his brothers and threw his victory in their faces.
But that guy wasn’t me. At least, not now. No matter how badly I wanted it to be—no matter how simpler things would’ve been—I just couldn’t bring myself to not give a shit about Sarah.
“You like it?” I asked her as she took her first bite of the cheeseburger. Christ, she ate like a bird—tiny bites that made me wonder if she could even taste it—but I could tell by the way her eyes rolled back into her head that this was some kind of spiritual experience for her. Her first taste of cholesterol and grease.
“Oh, wow,” she moaned around a mouthful of cheese, bacon, bun, and ground beef. I grinned. “This is… incredible. I’ve never tasted anything like it!”
The Brody Bunch Collection: Bad Boy Romance Page 9
