I closed my eyes. Damn. Maybe I wasn’t as good to all those women as I’d thought.
Slowly, she abandoned the open doors to the police station and worked her way back to me, her eyes cast at the ground. I was just about to offer to walk her to her car one last time when she stopped some distance away and said, “But… and shit, I’m sorry, Ash… in some ways, it’s too little, too late.”
I frowned at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Tanya bit her lip. The way her pretty eyes creased at the corners, I knew whatever she was gonna say next, it wasn’t something that would come easy.
“I did something, Ash,” she whispered. “And it’s something you’re not gonna like…”
23
Hannah
There. It was done.
I’d finally, for the sake of my sisters, faced my fear and filed an official report with the Bright Falls police station concerning my rape and abuse. I’d told my story to someone who had the power to do something about it—to at least make sure that no one else in the village went through what I’d had to.
So why did I feel like it had amounted to nothing other than a terrible trip down Memory Lane and a huge waste of my time? Why did I feel like I’d bared the stains on my soul to these people, and all I had to show for it was a lousy business card with the lead detective’s name on it?
Probably because the detectives had seemed disinterested, at best. They made a point to keep reminding me a lot of time had passed, that I’d failed to get a rape kit taken, and that surely any evidence back at the village was long gone by now. They could question my father, certainly, as well as the village elders. But the unspoken question they asked was, What would be the point? In the end, it’d be my word against theirs.
Unless the police caught them red-handed with some other girl. I shuddered at the thought. No, I hoped they didn’t. If that was the only alternative, then I hoped they went out there and found nothing at all.
On some level, though, it was… liberating. Knowing I’d done absolutely everything I could do took a burden off my shoulders, one I hadn’t realized was so damn heavy until it was gone. I’d set a precedent, just like Ash had said. Now, if any other girl ever came forward, there was a file on my father already. And maybe she’d come in right after it happened, and maybe there’d be evidence.
If I could help this imaginary girl, it would all be worth it. I just hoped it wouldn’t be one of my sisters. I hoped like hell they would stay, despite the strain on our relationship. Sarah, to my surprise, seemed to have taken the revelation of the bet in stride. Or at least, forgiven it easier than I expected after how upset she’d been in the car. Maybe blowing up at me had been cathartic enough for her to hear Reid out for his side of the story. She was with him now, in fact, and I was holding out more hope for her than I was for Beth currently. Last I’d seen my youngest sister, she was running back to the apartment with tears in her eyes. I had no idea if she and Wyatt would be able to hash it out. Beth was young, and easily heartbroken. She might not have the temperance to see things through.
That made me feel bad for Wyatt. He seemed like such a nice kid. Violent when provoked, sure, but otherwise…
I tucked my hair behind my ears and scanned the lobby for Ash. This was where I’d left him about an hour and a half ago, but now he was nowhere to be found. My chest tightened and my stomach rolled. Where the hell was he? He wouldn’t have left, surely…
Then I spotted him through the automatic glass doors to the precinct and my heart slowed a little. Crisis averted. But what was he doing out there?
And then I noticed he wasn’t alone. Tanya was with him.
Tanya, the girl whose ass I’d kicked back at the funhouse.
If there was anything I didn’t need to see coming out of an interview with two detectives who’d made it pretty damn clear my rape meant next to nothing for them, it was this. I’d walked out of there feeling so drained, so vulnerable, and the sight of Tanya and Ash talking together, standing so close, made my insides turn to Jell-O. I wanted to just sit down on the floor of the Bright Falls police department and never get up again, maybe hide under one of these chairs for all eternity. But I couldn’t do that. I had to get home. I had to check in on my sisters.
And I had to find out what the hell Ash was doing with her.
As I made my way to the doors, I saw Tanya lightly touch Ash’s arm and begin to back away. His arms were folded over his chest, but when she moved, he dropped them like he might reach out for her. She shook her head at him in return, and then as the doors opened, she looked up at me. Some emotion flashed across her face for a moment, but in the dim lighting, I couldn’t tell what it was. It was gone a moment later when she looked to Ash again, said, “I really am sorry,” and turned tail to hurry through the parking lot toward her car.
“The fuck was that about?” I hissed at her retreating form. “Don’t tell me she was trying to get back with you—again?”
But one good look at Ash told me that was most definitely not the case. His fists were clenched at his sides, so tight that his knuckles had cracked open and started to bleed again. If looks could kill, the one he was sending Tanya’s way would’ve made her spontaneously combust. The muscle in his jaw twitched, hard, making the inky pattern of his bruise throb like a black and angry heart.
Softly, I took one of his fists and began to unlace his fingers. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
Ash looked at me. His ears were red. “Remember how that security guard escorted Tanya off the premises the night of the carnival? And how that security guard turned out to be the same asshole your father sent after you, and later, after your sisters?”
I snorted. “Of course I do.” How the hell could I forget?
He continued. “Yeah, well, there’s more to that story than you think. More than even I realized.” He took a deep breath. “Tanya gave him information on me. On what little she knew about us. Filled him in on where I lived, what jobs I worked. Told him about Trick Shots and everything else she knew. That’s how my apartment got trashed.” He shook his head in disgust. “I gave him my fucking business card, like an idiot, but she led him right to us.”
I had, up until this moment, lacked someone I could blame—or at least, someone besides myself who I might also be able to take in a fight. But this news that Tanya had helped contribute to what had happened today, that she’d had some hand in me and my sisters’ unhappiness…
“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill her,” I said, pulling away from Ash and heading out into the parking lot.
“For Christ’s sakes, Hannah, no!” he growled, wrapping his fingers around my arm and pulling me back to him. I slammed right into his chest, looking up into his fiery eyes as he said, “Tanya… she didn’t know he was bad news, all right? Not at the time. The guy did a good job of convincing her it was a legit line of questioning. She was so angry at us, at me, that she didn’t think to be suspicious until it was way too late.” I tried to wrest away from him and Ash sighed, grabbing my shoulders. “Look, this is my fault.”
I couldn’t believe he was defending her. “I don’t see how,” I gritted through my teeth.
“I know you don’t,” he said, “because despite what you try to show the world, I know now that you’re the kind of person who wants to see the best in the people they care about. Look how you are with your sisters. Look at all the sacrifices you’ve made for them—shielding their innocence for as long as you could, at your own expense; coming here to ensure the same men who hurt you can never hurt anyone and get away with it again. You want to protect them, and sometimes that means idealizing them. Making them out to be better than you are, so you can justify putting them on a pedestal. But Hannah…” He took my hand. “…I did Tanya wrong. I made a huge mistake with her, on so many levels. What she did was wrong too, but me? I’m the one who started it. And I’ve gotta take responsibility for that. I have to be a grown-up.”
I started to protest again, but Ash lifted my hand
to his face on the side where he wasn’t horribly bruised. He leaned into my palm, looking down at me with such honesty, such openness in his eyes I couldn’t rebuff him. The words died before they left my lips, rendering me silent as he continued.
“I don’t want to be some arrogant child anymore,” he said. “I want to be a man. A man who’s worthy of someone as brave, as strong, and as beautiful as you are, Hannah Miller. I want to start taking responsibility for the things I do—the things I’ve done. I don’t want to run from feelings and attachments. I want to stand my ground the way you always do. I want to be the person who defends you while you’re defending others. It’s… it’s amazing how you do that. You know?” And for the first time ever, I saw a glimmer of vulnerability in Ash’s eyes. “It’s… what I love most about you.”
I searched his face for the lie. For the tell that would let me know he was putting me on. But there was no dishonesty there, no mask to hide what he really felt. For the first time ever, Ash had said “love” … and meant it.
I put my arms around him and pulled him in tight. And I held him like that for a long while on the sidewalk in front of the police station, saying nothing, doing nothing except coming to terms with the fact that Ash Brody was in love. With me.
And I was in love with him.
“I love you too,” I said once I was sure I could do so without bursting into tears. “I just… Christ, I hope it’s over now. All this… bad. I hope we can move past it now.”
Ash pulled away just enough to look into my eyes. With a faint trace of his trademark, roguish smile, he said, “I’m ready if you are.”
And I was.
24
Ash
“Don’t answer it,” Hannah whined, pulling my shirt off over my head. “Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not answer that fucking phone.”
I grinned. Damn, that was a tempting plea. And cool new phone or not, the last thing I wanted was to deny my girlfriend my cock in favor of answering a call from…
…well, from anyone, really.
“I’ll let it go to voicemail,” I told her, leaning back on my elbows as she worked at my belt. We were on my bed this time. It was the first time I’d had Hannah over, and she’d decided we really ought to christen the place—get rid of the bad juju from Fuck Buddies of Christmas Past, she’d said. I liked the way she thought. Other women might’ve put on a pout about what had happened previously at my bachelor pad, but not Hannah. She didn’t want to dwell on who’d had me before. She wanted to establish dominance and have me now.
Who the hell was I to complain? Especially when we were both getting exactly what we wanted…
I drew her tight little body against mine, hastily unhooking the back of her bra so I could watch those beautiful tits bounce free. I took one in my mouth immediately, swiping my tongue in frenzied circles until she threw back her head and moaned. There was nothing quite like a fuck after some cathartic bullshit had come to pass, and considering how many issues we’d worked out over the past week, we had a lot of fucking to do in order to break even.
My phone rang again. Somehow, it seemed more insistent this time. Hannah clutched two handfuls of my hair and ground against my hips in protest.
“Don’t. Answer,” she said between her teeth.
I looked up at her, brows raised. “Shouldn’t I at least see who it is?”
Hannah huffed and pushed me onto my back. “No!”
I grabbed her hips, pulling her until her panty-covered slit was flush with my hard-on. “Are you sure? What if it’s one of our siblings? What if Reid’s down a well, and we’re his only hope?”
Hannah brought her face very close to mine. “Let him drown.”
I laughed and slapped her thigh. “Come on, love. If it’s not important, I’ll hang up. I promise.”
Rolling her eyes, but with a smile that told me she surrendered to my superior logic, Hannah let me dig into the pocket of my jeans and pull out my brand new phone—the one she’d bought me as a gift for the one she’d destroyed. I loved that she felt bad about that, but damn, shit happens.
I picked up when I saw who it was. To Hannah, I mouthed, It’s Wyatt.
“What’s up, bro?” I asked him.
“Hey, man,” Wyatt said. He sounded distant. A little staticky. “I just, uh. I wanted to let you know we won’t be around for a while. Me and Beth, we’re gonna take off for a bit. On our own.”
“Yeah, I’m trying to get some alone time with my girl too,” I said pointedly, hoping Wyatt would get the picture and hurry off the phone. But there was something strangely serious about his tone. Something that didn’t quite sit right with me.
“It’s not like that,” he said, followed by a heavy pause. The kind you lapse into when you said more than you’d meant to.
I narrowed my eyes. “Where are you?”
Silence. I was starting to think maybe he’d lost signal, but then I heard him shift. It sounded like he was sitting in his truck. “We’re just… going off-grid. Just for a little while. I wanted you to know ‘cause we’ll probably be out of contact for the next few days, or so. I… I didn’t want you to worry.”
I wanted to ask him what the hell he was hiding from me, but I didn’t want to unduly worry Hannah. Wyatt could be a little cryptic sometimes, a little secretive. Comes with being the baby of the family, I guess. You feel like nothing’s really yours, so you start hoarding whatever you can. Maybe I was reading too much into it. Poor kid might still be reeling from that fight he and Beth had.
And I had every reason to assume there had been a fight. News like that, about how this had all started off as a stupid bet? No way there wasn’t one.
“Did Reid tell you that you could borrow the fuck cabin?” I asked him, and Hannah gave me a weird look. “Because I was thinking of taking Hannah up there soon…”
Again, she rolled her eyes. And again, as always, she smiled.
“No, we’re not at the… jeez. Look, don’t worry about it. You’ll have the cabin whenever you want it. You’ll have no scheduling conflicts on account of me.”
I sat up a little. “Where did you say you were again?”
This time, Wyatt was quick to answer. “I didn’t.” And then he hung up.
I tried calling him back right away. But it went straight to voicemail.
“Huh,” I said, setting my phone down on the bed.
Hannah arched a brow. “What was that all about?”
I frowned. “Nothing… I hope.” She prodded me and I looked up at her. “Wyatt and Beth are going away for a few days. He said not to worry, they just might be incommunicado.”
“Seems my sisters are the forgive and forget types, after all,” Hannah said, running her hands down my chest. “At least, when it comes to boys.”
She looked so sad. I knew Beth hadn’t returned any of her calls yet, and hearing that she was with Wyatt and everything was fine had to hurt. I took her hands in mind and kissed them. “Beth will come around, love. Just give it time. Sometimes, the people who hurt the most are the ones we think can take it. Beth just thinks you’re a strong woman. Take it as a compliment.”
Hannah eyed me. “That was… profound, Ash. Don’t tell me it was another quote you found on…”
“…the back of a bar napkin?” I grinned at her. “Oh, yeah. I love those things.”
Hannah pinned my arms above my head with a shake of her head. “You’re damn lucky I love you, Brody.”
She was right. I absolutely was.
25
Hannah
If you’d told me ten days ago I’d find my happily ever after, I would’ve laughed so hard I ended up spitting my beer right in your face.
But there I was, standing in my kitchen cooking brunch—with Ash Brody, of all people!—trying to get the table set and the food all sorted before Reid and Sarah came over.
Well, to be fair, Ash was sitting. Which was exactly where I wanted him. My kitchen was small, and two of us in there trying to coordinate multi
ple dishes was a nightmare. I much preferred him looking pretty on the other side of the counter, and he much preferred this view of my ass. It was a win-win situation. We had achieved symbiosis.
“They said ten thirty, right?” I asked, checking on the French toast.
Ash chuckled. “Yes, love. Ten thirty. I know you’re anxious, but take some deep breaths. Sarah’s gonna have one hell of a job getting Reid up this early in the morning.”
He was right—I absolutely was anxious. I hadn’t seen Sarah in days, and though it seemed she’d forgiven me, I still felt like I had a lot to make up for. Ash and I hadn’t talked about it—we’d been too busy fucking to talk about much of anything, really—but I also knew I was going to have to confide in her, sooner or later, about why I’d left home. I didn’t want any more secrets or bad blood between us. I mean, look what it had done to Beth. I hadn’t heard from her since our fight.
“No luck with Wyatt, huh?” I asked, preemptively getting my potholders out.
“None,” Ash confirmed. “But he said that might be the case, remember?”
I nodded. “Mm hmm.” That didn’t stop me from worrying, though.
I heard Ash take a big breath, like he was going to remind me once again that I needed to settle down and let Beth have her space, but then the doorbell rang and I spun around. “I’ll get it,” he said, but I was already hurrying into the foyer, pulling open the door to reveal Sarah and Reid standing there, big smiles on their faces.
“Hi, sister,” Sarah said, and I responded by scooping her into a tender hug. She stiffened a little at first, but in time, she hugged me back. I closed my eyes and held her that way for several moments, savoring this wordless reconciliation, before Reid ruined everything with his big mouth. Again.
“So, uh… am I allowed to come in, or…?” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I mean, I was told there would be food…”
The Brody Bunch Collection: Bad Boy Romance Page 38
