Danger Guys on Ice

by Tony Abbott

  “Well, yes, Mr. Vazny,” I said.

  “It’s sort of what we do,” added Zeek.

  The man’s eyes flashed and got little again. “Did someone call me Mr. Vazny?”

  “Yes, sir, I did,” I said.

  “Incorrect!” he screamed. “Would anyone else care to answer?”

  “I know! I know!” Zeek raised his hand. “Is it—Dr. Morbius?”

  “Wrong again!” he shrieked. He stepped over to the blackboard and spoke his name as he spelled it out. “Call me—D-o-c-t-o-r C-h-i-l-l!”

  Zeek was beginning to frown like he does when Mrs. Hipple spoons out lunch on his tray and he’s not sure if it’s food or not.

  I spoke softly. “You broke the ski lift, didn’t you, Mr. Vazny—I mean, Dr. Morbius—I mean—”

  “The name is Chill—Chill!—CHILL!”

  Then he nodded slowly. “The ski lift? Yes, I needed a little part—something for my work.”

  Zeek raised his hand again. “But the hair?”

  “Oh, this?” Chill reached up and pulled off the red wig. He tossed it to the floor. “A simple disguise to fool simple people. It helped me escape from the army jail to this old mine. I’ve made many improvements, as you can see!”

  He waved his arms around the lab. Like on a TV game show when they show off the prizes.

  “And now, it is a perfect place from which to launch my ultimate attack!”

  I shot a look at Zeek. I swallowed hard. “Attack?” I said.

  Dr. Chill turned to a huge map tacked up on the wall. He pointed to a dot on the coast.

  I gasped. “But that’s—Mayville!”

  “So glad you’ve been studying your geography!”

  Zeek stepped forward. “What’s your horrible plan this time, Dr. Chill?”

  Chill flashed a creepy grin. “I’m going to DESTROY your little town, once and for all!”

  Then he laughed a terrible laugh that echoed through the laboratory. It probably echoed through all the caves in the entire mountain.

  “Oh, yeah?” Zeek snarled, stepping forward. “You and what army?”

  “Good one!” I said.

  Chill’s eyes got big and fiery. He stepped to the control panel and pressed another button.

  NNNNT! Instantly, a wall opened up on the other side of the lab. A blast of cold air filled the room.

  Fog poured in. The kind of icy fog that swirls around in bad horror movies.

  Dr. Chill stepped back.

  “Me and this army!” he said.

  EIGHT

  An icy shiver ran down my spine.

  There, in the swirling fog behind Uggo, stood nine other giant frozen cavemen!

  “Behold!” cried Chill. “My mighty Neanderthal army! I chopped them, cut them, and blasted them out of every frozen cave in this mountain. I brought them here—to live once more!”

  He started to laugh again.

  Zeek nudged me. “He thinks this is good?”

  I realized that those huge hairy icy cavemen were the same ones in the cave drawing we saw.

  Boy, were they big! Big hair, big jaws, big teeth. Big clubs, too. They looked even meaner than in the drawing. It was bad news, all right. But I tried to act tough.

  “Those guys are fifty thousand years old!” I said. “They can’t do anything. They’re ice cubes!”

  “Ha-ha!” laughed Chill. “Not for long!”

  NNNT! He pressed another button, and the floor in the center of the room began to slide open. Up came the most humongous, nasty-looking gun thing I ever saw.

  It was huge! The long barrel had pulsating bright-orange and yellow coils running around it. Written in big red letters on the side of the gun were the words Amazing Melt-O-Ray.

  Dr. Chill tapped the gun and began to smirk. “Three blasts from my Amazing Melt-O-Ray, and—cavemen walk the earth again!”

  That’s when Zeek jabbed me. His lip curled up and he squinted. He nodded down at my feet.

  I looked. Chill’s fake nose was still stuck to my boot. It made me feel kind of sick to see it there.

  I shook my boot. The nose didn’t move. I swung my boot a little more. It still stuck. Finally, I kicked way up, and the nose went soaring.

  It must have spooked Dr. Chill, because when he saw this pink blobby thing flying at him, he instantly reached for the silver Freez-Beamer hanging from his belt, aimed the shiny pistol—and fired.

  Zwap-o! An icy blue beam zapped through the air and caught the nose in midflight.

  Plink! It dropped to the floor and shattered like glass into a thousand pink crystals.

  It was totally frozen.

  “No more silly moves!” Chill cried. “You see my terrible power!”

  Zeek snarled. “Big deal! Like you’re going to microwave these old dudes, and they’re just going to wake up and start cracking dinosaur jokes.”

  Chill’s face twisted all up. “My cavemen don’t make jokes, like you funny boys!” he cried. “They know only one thing—how to destroy! These cavemen are conquerors! Killers! Ah, just imagine it—giant cavemen with giant clubs. At the Mayville Mall! At Mayville Library! At Mayville School!”

  Dr. Chill laughed one of those crazy laughs he’s so good at. Then he snapped a switch and the gigantic Melt-O-Ray began to sputter.

  I looked over at Zeek. I could see him getting mad. He shook his head slowly and whispered, “We can’t let him do this, Noodle.”

  Zeek was right. Mayville destroyed by a bunch of cavemen with big clubs? No way!

  Chill was staring up at the Melt-O-Ray. The barrel turned bright red. He started to laugh a horrible, blood-tingling laugh.

  Zeek gave me a nod. It meant he was ready.

  I was ready, too.

  I smiled inside. We were a team. There wasn’t anybody like us. I gave Zeek a little thumbs-up.

  Zeek nodded.

  “Let’s bust him, Noodle!”

  “Now!” I shouted.

  We jumped into action. Zeek dived for the Melt-O-Ray, and I lunged at Dr. Chilibean.

  It was a perfect plan. Except for one thing.

  The second I leaped up, I tumbled like a rock.

  “Umph!” I groaned. “My boots! They’re untied again!”

  Zeek was halfway across the room already, leaping over lab equipment.

  But Chill was too fast for either of us. The instant we moved, he turned his Freez-Beamer pistol at us and pulled the trigger.

  ZWAP-O!

  There was a flash.

  There was a scream.

  Zeek stopped leaping over lab equipment.

  He shivered. He got all stiff and crusty.

  He didn’t move. Zeek was frozen!

  NINE

  “Zeeeeeeeekie!” I screamed.

  But Zeek didn’t answer. He didn’t budge. He didn’t even breathe. Squiggly blue lines of electricity sizzled all over him.

  He was covered with ice crystals. His Danger Guy jacket, his mask, his ski pants.

  Everything was frosty and white.

  I stumbled over to him. Dr. Chill just kept giggling to himself. “Your friend is very … how do you children say it—cool!” He laughed.

  I couldn’t believe it. Zeek was frozen stiff.

  There was a dark blast hole right through his Danger Guy jacket. Chill’s Freez-Beamer had shot straight at his heart.

  “Zeek?” I whispered right to his face. “Can you hear me?”

  Nothing. No answer. He didn’t move at all.

  Me and my stupid old boots!

  A big lump swelled in my throat. My friend was frozen, my best friend in the whole world.

  I brushed some ice crystals off his jacket.

  Zeek stared past me. His eyes were glassy. His fingers were cold, stiff, and spread out, like one of those mime guys trapped in an invisible box.

  I started to get really mad.

  Dr. Chill must have known what I was thinking, because he flipped a switch and that claw thing swung over and grabbed me. Zzzzt! It picked me up in the ai
r—and stopped. I dangled.

  Chill laughed, sneezed, and went back to the huge Melt-O-Ray’s controls. He aimed the barrel at Uggo and the other cavemen.

  This is impossible, I thought. It’ll never work.

  Slowly Chill pushed a giant lever forward and the red coils started to glow. “Live again, my giant Neanderthals!”

  KA-ZAP!

  A powerful red blast flashed at the cavemen. They sizzled all over. They began to drip.

  But what if it did work? I looked over at Zeek, all frosty and still. Maybe Chill could do it. I could see it all now. “Monster Cavemen Destroy Peaceful City!”

  I imagined Uggo and his pals marching down Main Street with their giant clubs. I shuddered.

  KA-ZAAAP! The second blast hit the Neanderthals. Small pools of water spread out on the floor. The cavemen were starting to slide a little on the icy floor.

  “Yes!” Chill laughed. “Even now they begin to live! One more blast, and it’s Byebye, Mayville!”

  It was only a matter of seconds now. The Melt-O-Ray was rumbling. In fact, the whole laboratory was rumbling. The computers were sizzling and sputtering. The lab was heating up.

  “This whole place is going to blow!” I cried. Then it hit me. The avalanche that nearly killed us had been caused by Dr. Chill and his stupid ray gun! One more avalanche like that and—the lodge would be destroyed! Zeek’s family!

  No way! Chill had already frozen my best friend. I couldn’t let him get Zeek’s family, too!

  It came to me in an instant. Dr. Chill must be stopped. I didn’t know how I would ever pull it off, but I had to try. I was the only one left.

  I had to do it. For Zeek.

  The Melt-O-Ray got louder and hotter. The final blast was coming. It had to be now.

  I scanned Zeek’s face. Even though I knew he couldn’t see me, I gave him a thumbs-up.

  That’s when I noticed something strange about Zeek. Something about his face. It was different.

  It was one of those funny little smile things at the corners of his mouth. The kind he does from across the room in Mr. Strunk’s class. The kind that always makes me laugh.

  But—how? I thought. He’s frozen solid!

  Then, so slowly that only I could see it, Zeek lifted his thumb up.

  He was alive!

  I didn’t know how—but it didn’t matter.

  Zeek was alive! Ya-hoo! The boys were back!

  Meanwhile, Chill laughed louder and louder as the Melt-O-Ray turned white-hot. The heat was incredible.

  If it didn’t cool down soon, it would—

  Cool down? Wait a second.

  I looked up. All the way up. To the ceiling. To the skylight. To the icy snow swirling outside.

  Yes! In a fraction of a second I had it all worked out. An incredible total action plan! Well, almost total. I still had to figure out a couple of tiny details.

  I nodded a small nod at Zeek and motioned with my eyes over to the Melt-O-Ray, then up to the skylight, then to Uggo, then to the main control panel on the wall.

  Zeek knew exactly what I meant. He was reading my mind. Yeah, we were a team all right! The best team in the world.

  ZZZZZ! The Melt-O-Ray was glowing white-hot. Dr. Chill was going for the firing lever.

  I remembered what Zeek had said about saving the surprises for the bad guys. Well, this was one bad dude. And we had one big surprise for him!

  I nodded at Zeek. He was ready.

  So was I.

  “Party time!” I cried out.

  TEN

  Our timing was incredible. Zeek and I blasted into action as if we were one person.

  Dr. Chill wasn’t expecting us, especially Zeek, to move at all. So when we exploded into motion, old Chillface was totally surprised.

  “B—b—back to your seats!” he screamed.

  Ha! As Zeek dashed for the main control panel, I breathed out, got skinny, and—slurp!—I slipped through the fingers of the ugly claw and hit the floor running.

  Well, sliding, actually. The floor was pretty slippery. I skidded, did a weird leap like an out-of-control figure skater, and landed with both feet on the back of the Amazing Melt-O-Ray!

  FWWAAPP-O! The third and most powerful blast shot out, just as the white-hot barrel swung up to the ceiling—

  CRASH! The ray hit the skylight. Glass tinkled to the floor.

  Suddenly—WHOOOMP!—about a ton of heavy white snow dumped into the lab. The red-hot Melt-O-Ray hissed and sputtered and froze up! Icicles formed all over it. The rumbling stopped.

  “Yahoo!” I shouted. “My plan actually worked!”

  Huge drifts of snow buried the cavemen and—Errch!—stopped them cold.

  “No!” screamed Dr. Chill. “Awake, my mighty cavemen!”

  “Sorry, Doc,” cried Zeek, diving in midair for the control panel. “They’re taking a nap! They’re on ice! Forever!”

  Yeah, that was Zeek, some kind of superhero! Except that on his way down he caught Uggo in the shoulder, just as the snow was covering the other cavemen. Umph!

  Uggo slid forward in a pool of water and started to glide across the lab.

  Zeek slammed against the control panel buttons and—zip-zip-zip!—a huge door on the far side of the lab slid open.

  Chill went nuts! He whipped out his Freez-Beamer pistol and started firing at Zeek and me.

  “Take that! And that!” he cried, as he blasted at us again and again. But we were moving too fast to get iced.

  Finally, Zeek took a running leap, dropped to his knees, and slid across to me.

  “Glad to have you back!” I said, with a smile.

  “Glad to be back,” said Zeek. “What’s our escape plan?”

  KA-ZAP! A blast zinged near our heads.

  My smile faded as I ducked. “Bad news. I never really got to the escape part.”

  “Oh,” said Zeek.

  Suddenly—Thwank! Thwank! Two brown chewed-up boards dropped from the skylight and bounced across the floor.

  I looked at Zeek. He looked at me.

  “My skis!” I shouted.

  “I think they’re trying to tell us something!”

  “Like, here’s our ride?”

  We jumped on the skis to make our escape.

  They didn’t budge.

  “We’re doomed!” cried Zeek.

  ZAAAP! Chill’s freeze shot missed us but hit a pool of water. The whole floor froze instantly into a sheet of ice.

  Zeek smiled. “Should we thank him now?”

  “Later!” I cried. We pushed on the skis.

  Umph! Something knocked us down.

  I looked up, expecting to see Dr. Chill standing over us with his ugly silver ray gun. I expected him to sneeze a couple of times, then zap us stiff.

  I expected wrong.

  It was Uggo! His big frozen shape slid slowly by us and right onto my dad’s skis! They stuck to his icy feet. Then he started gliding toward the door on the far side of the lab.

  “Grab him!” I shouted to Zeek.

  Zeek’s eyes bugged. “Uggo? No way!”

  Zzzwap! Chill blasted the air near Zeek’s head.

  Zeek didn’t think twice. He pushed me onto the skis behind Uggo. Then he jumped on behind me. We slid through the door and down a dark tunnel. We picked up speed. Then we really picked up speed. We were flying.

  Rrrrrr! We heard a growl behind us. It was Dr. Chill on his snowmobile.

  “Hurry, Noodle!” shouted Zeek.

  “Hurry, Uggo!” I shouted, as a blue blast whizzed past my ear.

  Dr. Chill’s snowmobile closed in. He was gaining on us with every second.

  The tunnel was ending. There was nothing but darkness ahead. I closed my eyes as Chill pulled the trigger.

  ELEVEN

  ZAAAAAAAP!

  There was a bright light.

  I felt cold all over.

  For the third time that day, my whole life flashed before me.

  Three strikes, you’re out. I’m dead!

 
“Noodle!” yelled Zeek. “Open your eyes!”

  “Wha—?” I opened my eyes.

  Sunlight and snow!

  Cold mountain air!

  We were outside!

  I shot a look behind me. Zeekie was right there. “Hot dog!” I shouted. “We’re not dead!”

  We zoomed down the mountain—two kids and a frozen caveman on one set of skis! We were incredible!

  But—thwaaaaap-o!—Chill was still hot on our heels, firing away, and gaining.

  Suddenly, there was a big bump ahead of us.

  And I mean a BIG BUMP!

  “Uggo, turn!”

  But Uggo didn’t turn. He was dead, after all. We headed right for the bump.

  FLOOO-OOMP! We hit the bump, and Zeek and I went flying off the skis.

  Uggo kept going.

  It was amazing to see a frozen dead guy on skis. He raced down the mountain like an Olympic champion. Snow was spraying out behind each ski. He shot down the slopes faster and faster. My dad would have been proud.

  “He’s going for the gold,” I said.

  “Yeah,” said Zeek, “amazing at his age.”

  “Plus, he’s dead,” I said.

  Then Uggo flew high over a ridge and disappeared down the other side.

  Crunch! We heard ice shattering. Then the skis popped up and landed—Flunk! Flunk!—in the snow at the top of the ridge.

  Suddenly, we heard a roar off to the side. It was Dr. Chill! He was coming in for the kill!

  Zeek instantly bent down and gathered up a handful of snow. “Stand back, Noodle. This is what I’m famous for, remember?”

  How could I forget? The Pilinsky fastball. Zeek packed the snow until it turned to ice.

  “Let him have it, Zeekie!” I cried.

  Zeek powered up, pulled back, and fired.

  The snowball shot across the mountain.

  FWAMP!

  Direct hit! Right into Chill’s controls. The snowmobile lurched into a deep snowdrift and stopped. Dr. Chill was buried up to his nose.

  He yelled out something, then fell back into the snow.

  I turned to Zeek. “Did he say something about a surprise quiz?”

  Zeek smiled and shrugged. “I think we just had it, Noodle, and the teacher failed!”

  I looked down the mountain and saw my dad’s skis sticking up over the ridge. “Let’s check out Uggo!”