Lost Memories (Honky Tonk Hearts)

by Thomas, Sherri

  Nick observed his youngest brother. Babied by his mother—in truth, by the whole family—he didn’t act like a twenty-one-year-old, at least not the way any of them had acted...and he didn’t have many friends. Hell, life on the ranch didn’t allow for much social time.

  He sighed. “I’ll put off speaking to Mom about Darcy, for now.”

  Chris nodded, dropped his dishes in the sink, and stormed out.

  “I’ll go talk to him.” Trent grabbed his cowboy hat and followed him outside.

  The gap between him and his immature brother grew bigger every day, and he had no idea what caused it or how to fix the problem. He closed his eyes and rubbed a hand down his face. A chair slid on the wooden floor.

  “You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Sam leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “You don’t usually let him get under your skin.”

  “I leave day after tomorrow for my advertising stint. I’m supposed to speak with the president of the magazine companies in Abilene, Pueblo, Wichita, and Tulsa. I have brochures to print and distribute. I have enough meetings and dinners in the surrounding cities to keep me away for a good month.” He rubbed his neck, feeling tension grab hold of his muscles. “I just want to make sure the ranch runs properly while I’m away.”

  “Trips never bothered you before.” He smiled. “Or is it Darcy chafing your ass?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not comfortable leaving a new employee, who I know is hiding something, with the three of you.”

  “We’re big boys; I’m sure we can handle her.”

  “Like Trent handled April?”

  He sat back in his seat. “That’s what this is about? Nick, Darcy’s not nuts.”

  “How do you know?”

  “You read her physical exam. Nowhere did it say bipolar or even suggest a mental illness.”

  He shook his head, still not convinced.

  “Look in her eyes. She doesn’t have the crazy look April got when she didn’t get her own way.”

  His lips lifted a fraction. He had looked in her eyes—too close. The big brown orbs sucked him in and left him gasping for air.

  The second eldest grinned. “Admit it. The problem is you’re attracted to her.”

  Too much. But he’d be damned if he’d admit it. Instead, he crossed to the sink. “I don’t know her enough to say one way or the other.”

  His sibling followed on his heels. “You want to though, get to know her, I mean.”

  Nick’s shoulders tightened as he leaned on the counter.

  “Ever think you need a break from traveling? I mean, you only got back last month from the conference in Montana.”

  “Maybe after this one.”

  “Why don’t you let me go? That way you can stay and make sure Darcy learns the ropes.”

  “No. This is the part of the business I agreed to take on.” While Sam went to school to learn the ins and outs of business and accounting, Nick found the traveling end of the ranch suited him. Until now...

  “I’ll go this time. A couple of weeks away might do me good.”

  “No. It’s my responsibility. I’ll go. Just do me a favor and make sure Chris and Darcy remain platonic while I’m gone.”

  The self-appointed therapist’s upper lip twitched. “For his sake, or yours?”

  “Sam...” He gritted his teeth.

  “Just askin’.” Large hands rose in the air in an innocent gesture. “You can trust us to handle the ranch, you know? Even Darcy.”

  Nick pushed off the counter. “Yeah, but I’m the big brother. Humor me.”

  While he was away, he’d keep making calls until he found someone who could tell him more about one Miss Darcy Brooks.

  “Hi, am I too late for supper?” The object of discussion opened the screen door and entered. With her came the fresh scent of a meadow full of flowers.

  He closed his lids for a split second and inhaled. Never had a woman taken his breath away just by walking into the room. His taste buds watered at the sight of her. His gut tightened as blood surged to every nerve ending in his body. After everything he preached to Chris, he worried over his own reaction. His eyes snatched in each detail of her skin. The long hours working outside already tanned her upper body to a healthy glow, her small perky nose red on the rim. The light in the kitchen picked up the sun-streaked highlights in her brandy-colored curls as she moved through the room.

  “Not at all. Ms. Liz keeps the food warm until eight.” Sam grabbed a plate and handed it to her. “There’s meatloaf in this pan, mashed potatoes in the one down there, and vegetables in the middle dish.”

  A brow raised in his direction. Nick knew his brother questioned his silence, but couldn’t organize one intelligible sentence in his muddled brain.

  “Thanks. Do you have any strawberry jelly?”

  “Pardon?”

  “You mean you’ve never put jelly on your meatloaf?”

  The accommodating activist opened the refrigerator. “No.” His chuckled filled the air.

  “You should try it. It’s really good.” Darcy grasped the jar he held out and glanced at Nick. “I’m sorry I messed up yesterday.”

  Her gaze trapped him within the depths. “You’re learning. It’s expected.”

  Sam coughed, and Nick glowered at his brother.

  “I’ll try harder. I promise.”

  He cleared his throat and shrugged. “Meet me in the horse barn in the morning.”

  Hurrying toward the door before he made an ass out of himself, Nick snatched his hat off the rack, only to catch his brother following Darcy to the dining room.

  “Mind if I sit with you while you eat? I can answer any questions you have regarding the ranch.”

  The pompous ass.

  He slammed the door and headed out to do chores, hoping the manual labor would curb his frustrations.

  Chapter Four

  At sunup, Darcy made her way to the barn and slowed as she neared the buildings. Her nerves ate at her insides since she’d left her uneaten supper last night. She’d pushed the food around on her plate while Sam filled her in on the different animals, but not a minute of the conversation sunk in. Nick’s cold, unwelcoming behavior, coupled with the uneasy feeling of someone watching her, filled her with anxiety.

  Even now, goose-bumps rose on her skin. System on full alert, she scanned the surroundings while making her way across the makeshift road between her cabin and the barns. Even though the sun started coming up from the east, she found it difficult to spot anything out of the ordinary in the distance. On the upside, she didn’t get the same eerie feeling as the day before.

  Entering the horse barn, she noted the second object of her anxiety working in one of the stalls. Darcy smoothed the front of her short-sleeve, pale pink T-shirt and took a shaky breath. “Hi.”

  Nick’s head popped over the wooden door for a split second. “Mornin’. Grab the pitch fork off the wall and come in.”

  She collected the equipment he indicated and made her way back to the stall.

  “I already grained the horses and put them out to pasture.”

  “Am I late?” She glanced to her watch. No, six o’clock on the dot.

  “I started early.” He angled the wheelbarrow out of the way for her to enter. His gray shirt stretched the seams with his movements. “This shouldn’t take too long. When we’re done, I’ll show you where we keep the horse feed.”

  “You sure you trust me to feed the horses after the goat incident?” Plunging the end of the rake into the soiled material, she scooped the manure and placed the waste in the wheelbarrow.

  “It’s easier if you scrape the sawdust into a pile before scooping.” He leaned on the shovel. “You’ll get the hang of things if you stop doubting yourself. If I make up charts of who gets what grain and how much, do you think it would help?”

  “Yes. And if you have the vet on speed dial that would help.” She drew the sawdust closer and pivoted with the weighted-down shovel. The end hit the wall, l
anding a few droppings in the water pail. Darcy shut her eyes and groaned, then peeked at Nick who stood motionless, his jaw clenched.

  He lifted the urine-soaked dust. “We’ll clean the bucket out when we’re finished.”

  Loosen up. Relax. The simplest task, picking up crap, and she mucked it up.

  Mucked it up. She giggled, obviously too many days spent dwelling on her shortcomings were getting to her.

  “Want to let me in on the joke?” Frowning, his eyes narrowed in her direction.

  “Nervous energy. Sorry.” Sweat dotted her brow, and she swiped at the moisture with the back of her hand.

  He ceased all movement and frowned. “Because of me?”

  “Yep.” Might as well put her cards on the table. If she continued to mess up, she’d make sure he knew her downfall resulted because of him.

  Seconds ticked by; she forced herself not to look up and continue with her chore. When a hand gripped her shoulder, she froze. Her heart thumped hard in her ears as she slowly gazed up.

  Nick’s lips lifted, and a sharp bolt of desire hit her. Killer smile, who knew? She glanced away from his alluring mouth.

  A finger under her chin turned her head toward him, and she held her breath.

  “I don’t mean to make you edgy. I want you to be relaxed.” His brows dipped around his green-brown gaze as he dropped his hand to his side. “The way you are around my brothers.”

  Oxygen became a must, and she sucked in the much needed air in small, quick gasps. Nick wanted her to joke around with him? A bubble of amusement swirled in her belly. He’d have to get a sense of humor for that to happen.

  No. That wasn’t fair. He had laughed with her over the incident in the pig pen.

  “Never mind. Let’s get this done. I want to see how you do grooming the horses.”

  And just like that, the moment passed. Though she didn’t know what to make of his Jekyll and Hyde personality, Darcy grew excited at the prospect of handling the equines. The large creatures had drawn her interest from the first day.

  After dumping and filling the water bucket, he motioned to her. “Follow me. I want to introduce you to T.J.”

  He walked through a middle aisle and turned to the first stall. Exhilaration filled her at the sight of the animal waiting to join his friends.

  The horse stretched his head toward her, and she stroked his muzzle. “He’s beautiful.”

  “Glad you think so, ’cause he’s yours to ride while you work here.”

  “What?” Her head snapped back raising her sights to his. Did she even know how to ride?

  Oh, boy, I’ve really got myself into a mess now.

  “You do know how to ride, don’t you?” His mouth set in a grim line.

  She inhaled the hay/animal scents and a sudden light-headedness made her lean on the wood—a vision of laughing and running through a pasture with a horse hooked to the end of a lead rope floated across her stark mind. A sense of right flowed over her. She shut her eyes to capture the fleeting image.

  “Darcy?”

  Popping her lids open, she swallowed and bit her trembling rim until she tasted blood. “I...”

  “Stop.” Nick held up a hand. “Let me guess, you applied for a job on a ranch, but you don’t know how to ride, is that about the gist of it?”

  Her cheeks grew warm as she lowered her chin. “I...I rode when I was younger.” She shifted her weight and kicked the dung off her boot, hoping he trusted her words. If she didn’t believe her own declaration, how could he? But...was that really a memory or only wishful thinking?

  Squaring her shoulders with a strange new confidence, she met his gaze and nodded.

  He rubbed his neck and sighed. “We’ll have a refresher course then, but not now. Today, I want you and T.J. to get acquainted, do a couple rounds of ground work together.” He crossed to the tack room and came back a minute later with a halter and rope dangling from his fingertips.

  Holding the vision as something real she prayed, Please let me know what I’m doing. A lump of uncertainty formed in her chest. Up until now, the chores she tackled held no real danger, but a horse...the creature possessed more strength than the smaller animals.

  “First, we’re going to put him in cross ties, then I want you to groom him. Afterward, we’ll get him saddled and work with him in the corral.” A large hand held the halter out.

  Pushing her doubts aside, she focused on the horse as she moved to his stall. Her hand stroked the side of T.J.’s neck. Calmness flowed through her veins. She placed the gelding’s nose through the nylon, slid it up his face and secured the buckle. The action seemed familiar and right. She stroked the animal, and a sense of serenity swept over her. Clipping the lead rope under his chin, she brought him to the center of the barn.

  Nick grinned. “Just like riding a bike, right?”

  She smiled, but wasn’t sure if it was because of the notion of her memory coming back, or because of his approval.

  He attached the lines to the rings on the wall and gave a tug. “That should do. I have a few things to check on while you get started.” He handed her a container filled with the equipment. “He’s all yours.”

  She turned toward the horse. Her hand closed around the comb in the caddy. Bringing the teeth to T.J.’s mane, she struggled with the knots. Another sense of familiarity washed through her and she swayed backward, shaking her head. Tentatively, she stepped back to the horse, touching his face with the bristles.

  The palomino lowered his head and angled toward her, pushing into her hand.

  The brush fell from her fingers as a sudden mental picture of combing another horse at another time filtered in from the cobwebs of her mind. Trembling, she reached up and scratched behind his ears.

  “Look at this patch of hair you have tangled.” Afraid if she stopped moving she might think too hard, Darcy picked up the brush at her feet and used the teeth on the strands hanging down his face.

  Her fingers worked through the mass until they slid through with ease. “One more side.”

  The instrument traveled from his withers to his rump, from his back to each leg. She brushed his back, sides, and belly. Dust filled the air, making her cough. She came around to his face. Brown orbs regarded her and...

  “Look how clean he is. You did a good job, kiddo.” A dark-haired man smiled down at her.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re going to take real good care of him, I’m sure of it. You wanna start working with him now?”

  “I’d love to, if you have the time.”

  “For you, of course.”

  “Darcy?”

  She jumped and put her hand to her chest as Nick came into her visual. “Y-you scared me.”

  A worried frown marked his face. “I called your name, twice.”

  “I wasn’t paying attention.” With a grimace, she veered away.

  “Uh-huh.” A tan hand smoothed over the gelding’s rump. “Hand me the pick. I’ll get his hooves clean while you get the black saddle and pad off the rack in the tack room.”

  Darcy scurried away to retrieve the equipment and embrace the mental images circling her head.

  All this time she waited and waited for something, anything. Why now? Her body shook with mixed emotions. Who was the man? And why did she get a warm feeling at the memory? What did it all mean?

  Funny how months ago she longed to recall her life, now the idea of remembering caused an emotional uproar. The notion of recalling her past both delighted and scared the daylights out of her. What if her past took her from the present, the life she worked hard to create?

  The terror over Nick discovering her amnesia bore too much for her to concentrate. Would he fire her on the spot? She closed her eyes and pulled oxygen deep into her lungs before rejoining him.

  “I’m going to assume you don’t know how to saddle him and show you.” The cowboy relieved her of the heavy gear. “Unless you’re sure you can.”

  “You go ahead. I’ll watch.” She breathed
in and out.

  “No. You’re going to help me.” He placed the saddle on the stall wall. “Here. Put the pad up on his withers.”

  She snatched the cushion from his fingers and placed the cushion across T.J.’s back. The horse shifted, his belly pushing her backward into the solid wall of Nick’s chest.

  Her teeth bit into her tongue to keep from moaning at the impact.

  “Don’t let him crowd you.” A large hand reached around her and put pressure on the gelding’s side until he moved out of her space.

  “Leave the pad up in the air.” He adjusted the material. “When you tighten the girth, it compresses down.”

  A saddle appeared in front of her. Lost in her own turmoil, she mechanically moved, taking the seat from him to heave up over the gelding’s back.

  Her arm bumped into solid muscles on her right. Fingers closed around her bicep.

  “Sorry.”

  His lips lifted a fraction as he rotated the stirrups. “This is the cinch.” He grabbed the strap under the horse’s belly. “Make sure it’s straight, nothing’s bunched, or twisted. This rope—” He took hold of another strap and motioned with his hands. “Put it through the metal loop of the cinch, up through this ring twice.”

  Grasping the end, she concentrated on the instructions.

  “Now, loop it.” Strong fingers covered hers. His chest pressed to her back. “Go around the metal and down through.”

  The deep voice vibrated down to her toes. Hot breath ruffled her hair, and her stomach tightened. The urge to close her lids and rest her head on him surged hard.

  “Let’s walk him out of the barn. He’ll be ready to tighten by the time we get him to the corral.”

  Missing the closeness of his body, Darcy followed his sinful form out into the warm sun. A light wind tousled the strands of hair escaping her short ponytail, and she shoved the stubborn locks back.

  “This is how you tighten the strap.” Sure fingers pulled up on the line. “Make sure you secure the end before you mount up. Otherwise your saddle may slip to the side.”

  “Tighten before you ride. Got it.”

  “I’m going to help you work him. I wanna see how you do with lunging.”