by Tia Siren
“Which is often, judging by the bags under your eyes.”
He sighed heavily, and I pulled him in for a hug. I had no idea what to do or say to make any of this better for them. My heart just ached. My best friend was losing her children before she could even hold them, and her husband was crumbling at his very foundation from watching his wife struggle.
And here I was, trying to have a family before I’d even dedicated myself to someone.
It didn’t deter me from my original plan, but it did make me scared. What if Kason and I slept together, got pregnant, and then I lost the child? What if he wasn’t willing to sleep with me again? Would I have to try it with another man? Would it drive me into the ground so far that I wouldn’t want to have children?
Could I endure the type of heartbreak my best friend was going through just to have a child of my own?
Stacey started to stir, and I broke the hug. I rushed back to her side and dipped my lips to her ear, because when she woke up crying, I knew she’d be disoriented.
“You’re here in the hospital and you’re safe. Brad and I are here, and whenever you feel like eating something, I can get you something from the cafeteria.”
“My baby…” Stacy whispered.
“It’s just not the time, Stace. You are a wonderful woman and you will be a brilliant mom. When it’s your time, it will happen.”
“Why is this happening to me?”
“It’s just not the right time. You have to keep believing that your time will come, Stace. Don’t give up. Never give up.”
“My heart…h-h-hurts,” she stammered.
“I know. Oh, god, I know.”
I wrapped my arms around her and scooted into bed next to her. Part of me wanted to tell her everything about Kason. There had been so much that had traversed, both with us and with the internship, and I wanted to tell my best friend all about it. I wanted to tell her that I knew he was the one who would father my child and all I had to do was get him to agree. I wanted to tell her how much my middle school crush now wanted me and my body, and I wanted to squeal with her when I told her that I’d felt his thick dick pressed against my leg. I wanted to tell my best friend all these things, but I knew the moment I brought it up, she’d think I was trying to override her situation with my own petty problems.
And right now, this needed to be all about her.
I spent the day with Stacey in the hospital, and then the doctor discharged her. I helped her into the car and followed them home, where I helped Brad get her situated in bed. The doctor had told her to keep her pads on until the blood flow stopped and had given her pain medications just in case the cramps became too much.
But all she did was cry, and all I did was sit by her bed and dry her tears with tissues while I held her hand.
I felt absolutely terrible for Stacey. I felt guilty that I was clamoring for a family without a man by my side while she had completely dedicated her life to a man who wanted a family with her. I felt guilty for throwing my petty issues of not having someone to impregnate me in her face while she was simply struggling to hold on to the life her body wanted so desperately to create. I felt guilty for still wanting to talk to her about everything between me and Kason despite what she was going through. I felt complete and utter sadness for my best friend as the idea that she might not get her dream crossed my mind.
When we’d been in high school, all she had talked about was marrying Brad and having children. We’d all gone to high school together and they’d been high school sweethearts, so when they graduated and got married, none of us had been shocked. I’d been so happy she was getting her dream—her happily ever after—and all I’d wanted was to have the same. My happily ever after was having a child on my terms, who loved me for all my imperfections and who I could run around with happily. Someone I could provide for, someone I could raise while I was still at the prime of my life. Someone I could watch grow, and love.
Someone who’s grandchildren I could be alive to run around with, too.
Having a child young would give that to me. Everyone thought my ovaries were practically guiding my decisions, but that wasn’t the case. I didn’t want to be in my sixties before my child graduated college. I didn’t want to be popping pills just to keep myself upright so I could watch my child blossom into the adult I knew they could be. When I started dreaming about it—dreaming about hold my first child in my arms while my skin was still supple and smooth-- I talked to Stacey about what I wanted: a family. I didn’t have time to build a relationship, and that was fine with me. The last thing I needed was someone who felt they could influence my decisions anyway.
The last thing I would ever be was a pushover, and men never liked that in their stay-at-home mothers.
Hell, in my society, they didn’t even like older mothers, much less opinionated stay-at-home mothers.
But now I was sitting here holding my best friend’s hand while she went through the emotions of a miscarriage for the third time, and it frightened me. It scared me that my best friend might not get the dream she had wanted even when she was in high school, and it scared me that I might not be able to talk about my journey with Kason with her any longer.
But really, it scared me that I might end up like her. That I had finally found a way to bring into the world the one thing I wanted most out of my life, and that it would somehow be ripped from me by happenstance. It scared me that, no matter how healthy I kept myself and no matter how young I had this child, the world would continuously rip that away from me.
Just like it was doing with Stacey. So, I did the only thing I knew I could do in that very moment.
I cried alongside her for the rest of the afternoon.
Chapter 12
Kason
The Rendons had invited me over for dinner tonight and I couldn’t turn them down. Marcus still wanted to go over shit with the website and I was hoping to see Hanna. I couldn't get her off my mind since our last encounter, and even the session I’d had in the shower had done nothing to quell the rising heat every time I thought about her body. Hanna was doing things to my mind no woman ever had, and I dreamt of sinking my cock into her body every single night.
I wanted to see her; I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to try to convince her to use a condom so I could have her just once. Just once so I could erase the anticipation and the dream from my memory so I could continue being the man I always had been. Hanna Rendon was plaguing my thoughts and dreams, and every time her silhouetted body popped into my mind, I had to excuse myself just so I could wrap my hand around my dick and provide myself with some temporary relief.
I dressed in my best polo and slacks and made sure I looked nice, but when I got over there, Hanna was nowhere to be found.
“She’s not here,” Marcus said.
“Who?” I asked.
“Hanna. She’s not here.”
“Who gives a shit if she’s here?” I asked.
Marcus grinned. “You do. I know you do.”
“Dude, you really have some issues,” I said.
All Marcus gave me was a grunted ‘uh huh.’
We all sat down to eat. Lisa had made an incredible spread: basil and honey baked chicken with steamed vegetables and a wonderfully exotic fruit salad. We all ate our fill and then some before I realized she had also baked my favorite pie: blackberry with a brown-sugar-crusted top.
I groaned. “My god, if I eat any more, no amount of gym work will ever get it off me.”
“Yeah, Mom, this is spectacular,” Marcus said.
“Wonderful as always, dear,” Roger said.
“Oh, you all are too kind.” She smiled. “So! Kason. What’re your parents up to tonight?”
“There’s some sort of show they’re taking in tonight. I bought them tickets.”
“Oh, that’s so nice!” Lisa said.
“Yeah. I try to take care of them whenever I can. They don’t ever do stuff for themselves, but if I buy it for them, I can practically guilt them
into going.”
“Sounds like a good plan. Your dad’s always been so selfless,” Roger said.
“Wanna talk about the website a bit more after dinner?” Marcus asked. “I just have few more questions and then I can get to work.”
“That’s fine, though wait for my call. I still have to get you to fill out employee paperwork and get you on the payroll. Shouldn’t take more than a week.”
“Sounds good, man.”
“Kason, I really want to thank you for what you’ve done for Marcus and Hanna. The job and the internship, it’s all just so much.”
“It’s not a problem, Lisa. Marcus is talented as hell, and Hanna’s been put in a shit situation by her school. If I can help, I will.”
“Language.” Marcus smirked.
“Honey, that’s no way to talk to your friend,” Lisa said.
“But you did it to me all through breakfast this morning!” Marcus said.
“Kason isn’t my son. It’s not our problem how he talks. You are my son and you won’t use that language in front of your mother.”
“Son of a—”
“Language, Son,” Roger chided.
I couldn’t help but smirk. Marcus looked absolutely annoyed while I thought the entire family dynamic was funny, but I was glad Lisa had opened the door for me to ask questions about Hanna. I couldn’t deny that I was bummed she wasn’t here. I just hoped she was all right.
“Speaking of Hanna, where is she? Out galivanting with Susie?”
“Stacey,” Marcus corrected. “And she’s actually at the hospital.”
My stomach fell to my toes and I could’ve sworn I was going pale. Hanna was in the hospital and I hadn’t known about it?! What the hell had happened?! Had she been in a car accident? Was she sick? Had she done something idiotic? Flashes of her body sinking to the bottom of the swimming pool came flooding back to my mind, and I saw myself jumping in after her before Lisa’s voice ripped me from my thoughts.
“Apparently Stacey had another miscarriage,” Lisa said softly. “She called and wanted Hanna to come to the hospital, and she’s been there ever since breakfast.”
A weight came off my shoulders in relief, but I still hurt for her best friend. I didn’t know Stacey personally, but I knew she and Hanna had been best friends since middle school. I couldn’t imagine what they were all going through right now, and I wondered if Hanna was all right. I had this deep-seated need to know she was okay, and there was a part of me that was still struggling to settle my heart rate.
“I honestly don’t know how Stacey will get through this one.” Roger sighed. “It’s her third in two years.”
“Lord,” Marcus said, sighing as well.
“Three miscarriages in two years?” I asked.
“It’s all she and Brad ever talk about. Brad, her husband,” Lisa said. “They were high school sweethearts you know. She and Hanna and Brad were inseparable.”
“Sounds like a fairy tale,” I murmured.
“When Stacey and Brad got married, no one was shocked, but it took a lot of convincing to get them to hold off on a family until Brad got through college,” Roger said.
I nodded. “Sounds smart enough.”
“But when they started trying, it was just a disaster. If they weren’t struggling to get pregnant, they were experiencing miscarriages once they did.” Lisa sniffled. “My heart just aches for them. They’re just so young.”
Roger reached over and rubbed his wife’s back, and my mind drifted back to Hanna. I couldn't imagine comforting Marcus through something like that, and I had no idea how Hanna was holding up. Part of me wanted to figure out where Stacey and Brad lived so I could go see her, but another part of me was confused because I didn’t understand why the fuck it was so necessary to make sure she was all right.
Why was I so worried about her?
Dinner went as well as could be expected, and Marcus and I went over a few more things for the website afterward. We settled on a design for the blog and finalized the basic color scheme. Then I went to their computer and printed off Marcus’s employee paperwork and had him fill it out while I was there. I ran through the terms and conditions of his employment one last time so I knew we were in agreement and then shook his hand.
“I’ll get this faxed over to HR in the morning, and they should call you in the next couple days to talk you through your W2 forms and such. Once you’re in the system, you can start working.”
“Thank you so much, man,” Marcus said.
“Quit thanking me. You’re fucking talented. Stop with the bullshit.”
I pulled him in for a hug and patted his back, and then I left. I shut the door behind me, made my way back to my house, and realized my parents still weren’t back. They were probably getting dinner and drinks and finally spending time together. I was happy they were getting that time to themselves. They never took it because their lives seemed to be surrounded by me and my company, and it was kind of becoming a pain in the ass.
Then I saw a car pull up.
I knew whose car it was the moment I saw it, and when Hanna stepped out, she locked eyes with me. She shut her door quietly and scurried over to my porch. When she stopped in front of me, I could tell she had been crying.
“You all right?” I asked softly.
“Yeah,” she said.
“I just had dinner with your family. They, uh, told me about Stacey.”
“Oh.”
“She all right?” I asked.
“She’ll make it. She’s strong.” That was all Hanna offered. I could tell she was upset. Her hands were trembling and her breathing was erratic. I knew if she confronted her family like this, they would bombard her with questions.
“Why don’t you come on inside? I’ll get you something to drink.”
I put my hand on the small of her back and ushered her through the door. I couldn’t help but feel electricity shoot up my arm. Her feet dragged and her shoulders were slightly slumped, and when she flopped down at the kitchen table, she let out a massive sigh.
“Still want that baby?” I asked as I poured her a glass of water.
She sighed. “My mind hasn’t been changed, Kason.”
“I just figured with everything going on—”
“What’s happening with my best friend has no bearing on me,” she snapped. I placed the water in front of her, but she didn’t touch it. When I sat down beside her, I reached out for her hand.
“I can tell you’re upset.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” she murmured.
“Would you like to talk about the internship?” I asked.
“You mean the fake secretarial position you’re gonna pay me for?” she spat.
“Not fake. It’s an actual offer. The only phone calls I’ll have to place will be the ones to accounting and HR to create the position for you. I just need to know if it’s something you want to do.”
“Of course. I need to do it for my degree,” she said.
“Then I’ll place the proper phone calls and make it happen. Just get me your class schedule when you can and I can work your hours around it.”
“Sounds fantastic,” she whispered.
It killed me to see her like this, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. I yanked her hand and ripped her from her seat. When her body threw itself into mine, I barreled my lips into hers. Her tongue slipped between my lips and my arms held her close to my body. Her tits pressed firmly into my chest while her hands gripped locks of my hair. She tasted salty, like she’d been dining on her tears, and her being in so much pain today made my heart ache.
I kissed and nipped down her neck, and her grip tightened. When she jumped and wrapped her legs around me, I sank the palms of my hands into her sweet little ass. I walked her down the hallway while I marked her neck and shoulders with my teeth. The whimpers and whispers of pleasure that fell from her lips made the dick growing inside my pants throb. We burst into my room and I tossed her onto my bed roughly. When I saw her chest heaving
and flushed with lust, I knew I had her right where I wanted her.
“Just this once, Hanna,” I said. “Just this once.”
Her eyes devoured my body, and I saw when my thick dick caught her attention. She licked her lips, and the sight forced me to bite back a groan. But when the answer I was looking for dripped from her lips, I felt a wet stain form on the front of my pants.
“All right. We’ll use a condom. But just this once, Kason. I’m serious.”
Chapter 13
Hanna
I slowly took every inch of my clothing off while his eyes devoured my body. That beautiful cock stood at attention for me, and before I knew it, he was shimmying out of his clothes as fast as he could. Our layers peeled back and his body slowly unveiled itself to me. When he was standing naked in front of the bed, I lay back and slowly spread my legs.
My pussy was glistening for him, just like he’d probably envisioned it would. I could feel my juices gathering in places I couldn’t wait for his tongue to be, but when he started peppering my thighs with kisses and nips, I lost all sense of time and space. I could already feel the red marks rising on the side of my neck, and for a split second, I panicked. I knew we had to keep this a secret from my family and I had no way of covering them up, but then Kason sank his teeth into the meat of my flesh and all worries disappeared.
