by Tia Siren
“What do you do with gummy molds of your, um, lady parts?” Michael asked, his face livid.
“You fuck them usually,” Grant cut in. “And then you eat them. I suppose you could eat them without fucking them, but that kind of seems like a waste. And I guess you can practice your cunnilingus skills on them, too. Kind of the best of both worlds.”
“Fuck them?” Michael choked. I went to grab his hand, only for him to pull it away from me. “People will be fucking molds of your pussy?”
“And eating them,” Grant added, gleefully. “And I have to say, without a doubt, Kendra has the most delicious flavors of all. I can attest to that personally.”
If Michael were anyone else, I knew he would have turned and punched Grant right in the face. And Grant would have deserved it. But since it was Michael, he did no such thing. His nostrils flared, his face contorted with rage, and he stormed from the room.
“What is wrong with you?” I screamed at Grant, who remained where he was. His face had gone back to that passive expression, and you wouldn’t know that he had just said and done the most horrible of things.
“I’m not the one that has a problem with your job,” he said. “That’s him. Whoever the hell he is.”
I could tell now that Grant was actually upset with me. His initial reaction when he saw me and Michael was one of self-defense and preservation. Better to not show his emotions instead of letting them seep out and make him appear weak. Classic Grant.
I didn’t think he was weak, but I knew he was broken. It was suddenly all so clear. Every time that Grant even came close to caring about me, he got hurt. I’m sure seeing me kiss another man only added to that.
But even if that was the case, it was still no excuse. Michael was a good guy and didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Hell, I was a good person too, and I know I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Without saying a word, I stormed past Grant and into the store, determined to go after Michael.
Chapter 27
Grant
Had I gone too far? Again? As Kendra stormed past me, leaving me alone in the VIP section to stew in the filth I had just created, this was the question I was forced to ask myself.
The big joke was that I had gone to the store with the intention of turning everything around. I had left my home, I had left Loren in particular, excited by the fact that I was going to come down to the store and apologize to Kendra.
It had been over a week since I had last seen her, and in that time, I had reflected on everything that had happened between Kendra and me in the last few weeks. I came to the conclusion that most of the mistakes had been made by me. I was constantly punishing her for something that happened in the past and for my own inability to get over those old wounds. I knew that and was fully prepared to move on.
And then I walked into the VIP room.
Seeing her locked in the arms of another man—kissing another man! I hadn’t felt pain like that in as long as I could remember. It felt like a knife to the heart. More than that, it felt like someone had torn my heart out and shown it to me. Like they had put it on display for the world to see, for everyone to stand around and laugh at, to make fun of. Oh look how small and miserable his heart is. What a pathetic display.
So I reacted in the only way I knew how. And now, I was solemnly regretting my decision.
“Kendra, wait,” I yelled out as I followed her from the VIP room. Luckily, she hadn’t managed to bolt from the store yet, allowing me to chase her down and cut off her means of escape. “Just give me a second to explain.”
“Why are you here, Grant?” she asked, stopping short. She really had no choice since I stood in the entranceway to the store. “What do you want?”
“I didn’t come here to fight. I came here to give you the molds. Not the store, but you.”
“Me? I don’t want them. Why the hell would I want them? I’m not going to eat my own pussy. That’s just weird.” The entire store was watching us now, and I was very aware of it.
“Can we just go somewhere and talk?”
“No,” she said, resolutely. “You came here. You followed me out. You cut me off. Now tell me, why would I want those molds?”
“So you can decide what to do with them,” I said. “You can throw them out, burn them, keep them, eat them, sell them. I don’t know. Whatever the hell you want. They’re yours, as far as I am concerned. You should have the right to choose what to do with them.”
“Oh,” she responded, clearly caught off guard by my humane offer. But it didn’t last long. “And so what? The fact that those even exist—”
“That’s another thing,” I cut in. I didn’t want her raising her voice again, but also, I wanted a chance to say I was sorry before she forced it out of me. I wanted her to know I was apologizing of my own volition. “I should have never made you come with me to Atlantic City, and I should have never made you be a model for these. I did it for my own reasons. I was mad at you and wanted to hurt you. It was a shitty thing to do. For that, I am sorry.”
I could see her visibly relaxing as my words washed over her. I could even feel the tension between us melting a bit.
She looked at me with an uncertain expression. “So if I were to throw these out? That’s okay?”
I nodded. “I would support you in that decision. Like I said. I’m sorry. I should have never made you go through that. Ever.”
And that was that. I had done what I came here to do. Things had gotten off to a rocky start, but I’d managed to turn things around. I turned and exited the store. In truth, I wanted to get out of there on what could be considered a high note. I was still feeling enraged and only kept a check on my emotions for the good of the store. And for Kendra’s sake.
Unfortunately, despite my words, I was still mad at her. And the most fucked up thing was that it was for reasons that weren’t even her fault. Seeing her with that guy only served to remind me that I would never be comfortable around her. I would never trust her, regardless of what she did to prove that she was trustworthy. There would always be tension there, no matter what the circumstances.
I wanted to be with her. More than anything. But I just didn’t think that I had it in me. Best to say goodbye and move on.
“Grant! Grant, wait up!” Kendra called out from behind me. I turned, trying to keep my face passive as I watched her come toward me. Damn, she looked good, too. That was the hardest part. If she even just once didn’t look so divine, then it might have been easier to move on.
“Hey,” I said simply as she stopped in front of me.
“Hey,” she responded, awkwardly. And for a moment, it was just that. We stood on the street, staring at one another until she finally spoke again. “So, thanks for that apology. I really didn’t expect it.”
“That’s okay. You deserve it,” I tried my hardest to keep my voice free of emotion, and to keep my eyes on her face and off her body.
“So, um, what now?” she asked. “I thought you might want to do something.”
“Kendra, I can’t. I have to stop you. I have to stop us. Now. Before anything else happens.”
“What do you mean?”
I took a deep breath and prepared to open up. I hadn’t opened up to Kendra since that day in the VIP section when I told her how much I cared for her. I had done it because I knew that it was what she needed to hear. I did it because I knew that would set us down the right path. Now, I needed to be honest like that with her again. However, this time was for a totally different reason. This time it was to keep her away.
“I can’t do this anymore, Kendra. You and me. We can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Please, let me finish,” I said simply, waiting for her to nod her agreement before continuing. “I also thought that I was ready to see you again. I did. That was why I came down here today. But then I saw you, and I got so damn angry. So angry, it scares me a little. I was reminded of the past. Of high school. I’m always reminded of that whenever I see you. That�
�s why I treat you the way I do. And it might not be your fault, and you might prove to me one hundred times that you have changed, but it still won’t be enough. I’m always going to be jealous and blame you for something you can’t change. Better to end it now than walk into inevitable pain.”
I turned to leave, content with letting this be the end of it. But she reached out, grabbed my arm, and turned me back to face her. It was an action that I’d done to her so many times when I was trying to change her mind. “Wait,” she begged. “How about we go and get some lunch?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I replied, slowly pulling my arm from her grip. “Like I said, it’s not your fault. There’s nothing you can do. The past is the past, and it can’t be changed. Neither can my opinion of it. I’m sorry.”
And then I left for good. She didn’t try to stop me or change my mind. Like I had said, she wouldn’t have been able to, anyway. She didn’t cry or beg. Instead, she just watched me go and I was sure that now she finally understood everything.
And even though I understood as well, even though I had finally admitted it to both myself and to her, I still wasn’t sure that I had done the right thing. I hoped that I had. I hoped that over time, I would realize that me and her could never be together. It just wasn’t in the cards. But still, a part of me desperately loved her. Despite how much pain and grief she brought me, I still wasn’t convinced that I had done the sane thing.
I still loved Kendra Lange.
Chapter 28
Kendra
Michael was completely out of the picture. After he bailed on me at the store, it took me the entire day to reach him on the phone and actually talk to him. But we didn’t do much talking. It was clear from the moment that he answered that he was looking for a fight. I was happy to oblige.
Oddly enough, it was the first fight we’d ever had. Even when we broke up, I wouldn’t classify that as a fight. It was more like a heated discussion which ended in a break up. But this time, Michael didn’t hold anything back. Of course, he was turbo pissed about my new job. He couldn’t, or wouldn’t, understand that I wasn’t doing anything obscene at work. Sure, I dressed a little sexy, but the outfit didn’t really show off too much. Michael didn’t want to hear it.
And he was pretty pissed off about the gummy pussy molds. I didn’t think he was ready to see something like that. He’d only just learned about the existence of candy sex toys. Seeing my own pussy in all its candied glory was too much for him to bear.
Aside from those two issues, Michael chose to focus mostly on events from our past relationship. I got the impression that he had been stewing about these things for a long time. We ended up having the fight that we should have had when we broke up six months ago. My candy pussy and provocative job were just icing on the cake. When it was over and he hung up, I was sure that I wouldn’t be hearing from him ever again.
But I also hadn’t heard from Grant, either. This upset me more than saying goodbye to Michael again. Grant had shocked me by being so raw and honest. I couldn’t remember him ever being so vulnerable in front of me. He told me why he couldn’t be with me, without holding anything back. I thought it would be the first step toward moving our relationship forward. But Grant didn’t see it that way. He believed we could never be together again. Then he walked away.
I had hoped that he might change his mind after a night to sleep on it. But he didn’t. By the time Friday came around, I was more and more certain that he’d meant what he said. The two of us were truly over.
And if I still wasn’t sure, if even the smallest fraction of me held out hope for him to change his mind, the sudden appearance of Loren that Friday afternoon shattered all of my hopes.
It was a quiet Friday, and it was getting toward closing time so the store was positively empty. I had been leaning against the counter, caught in my own daydreams, when she burst into the store. I was actually kind of mad at myself. If I was anywhere else or doing anything else, I could have perhaps avoided her. But she walked in, locked onto me, and from that moment I was hers.
“Kendra!” she exclaimed as she approached me. I was surprised that she remembered my name. I wondered if Grant had spoken about me outside that single time the two of us had met. “You have to help me!”
“Oh, hi Loren,” I said, keeping my voice as civil as I could. As I was at work, it was easy enough. I simply had to slip into work mode. I wondered if I would have been so courteous had I bumped into her in the outside world.
“I’m so glad you’re working!” she exclaimed, again, in what I was suddenly noticing to be a very high-pitched tone. “I need your help!”
“Sure thing. What can I help you with?”
“Well, I don’t know how well you know Grant, but he’s been a bit down lately,” she explained.
“Oh, has he?” I asked, trying to sound more caring than curious. Of course, I wondered if his down mood had anything to do with me.
“Yes. The last few days. Now earlier this morning, he was explaining to me about a special sale you have at the moment? Something to do with goodie baskets? Or gift boxes?”
“Yes, we have a ‘Do as you please,’ sale.” The ‘Do as you please’ sale basically meant that a customer was able to grab one of our baskets and fill it with as much product as they could, from a designated area of course, and buy it all for a special price. The idea was that not all customers knew what they were doing when it came to purchasing specific products. This was meant to promote experimentation and hopefully return customers.
“That’s the one!” she beamed. “Now, I thought it would be a bit of a hoot to buy him one of these. What do you think? I know, I know. He can get it for free. But the two of us have been, well, you know. So I figured that this would help add a little something to things. You get the idea.”
Oh, I got the idea all right. I actually didn’t know that her and Grant had been that close. When she mentioned that he was in a bit of a mood, I had chosen to instead focus on that fact rather than the more obvious one of Loren dating Grant. I mean, obviously she was, otherwise she wouldn’t have known about his down mood. But this, I’d chosen to ignore.
But now, that wasn’t really possible, was it? She was essentially rubbing my face in the fact that her and Grant were seeing each other. And to add insult to injury, she was also asking me to help her pick out products she could use while fucking him.
“You two are having trouble in the bedroom?” I asked, trying my best to sound more like a concerned friend than a snarky ex. Truthfully, though, I delighted in the fact.
“What? Oh no, no, no. Still as proactive as ever. This is more for a kick. A little fun. I mean, why not?” I was certain that I wasn’t getting the full story, a fact that also made me happy. Loren had the complete opposite body type to me, after all. I just didn’t see how Grant could love my curves as much as he claimed, yet still find Loren appealing, too.
“Okay, so you’re after products geared more toward, like, fun and adventure, rather than ones aimed at arousal?”
“Exactly!” Loren said, clapping her hands together. “Can you help me?”
“Gladly,” I said. That was all business, too. I couldn’t have been less glad to be helping her. But this was my job, and I was on the clock. So, I got to work helping Loren with the enthusiasm that I would show any customer.
For a brief moment, I thought about guiding her toward the absolute wrong products. Like having her pick out things I knew Grant wouldn’t like. He hated the taste of coconut, for instance. So I considered loading the basket with coconut flavored items, just to throw a wrench into her sexy plans with Grant.
But I decided against it almost immediately. As funny as I found the idea, it was petty and unfair. It wasn’t Loren’s fault that I was crazy in love with Grant. She had done nothing wrong here. If things ended up not working out between the two of them, I wanted it to happen naturally, not because I’d been a sneaky, vindictive ex-girlfriend. If Grant came back to me, I wanted him to make
that decision on his own, without interference from me.
The two of us worked our way through the store together. I picked out and pointed to products that I thought the two of them might like. I gave her my best effort to help, forcing myself to keep my personal feelings separate from my professional life. As hard as I tried, my stomach squirmed every time I picked something out. There was something very unsettling about picking out sex toys for the man of your dreams, when you knew that someone else was going to be using them.
But I kept those feelings to myself as best as I could. I doubted Loren had any idea how I was feeling. After a good thirty minutes of shopping, Loren’s little basket began to look very full. She had cock rings, sprinkles, tassels, frostings, and creams. I’d also thrown a butt plug in there that I had insisted she try. It was an extra-large one, though. Maybe I wasn’t totally professional. The other thing I’d recommended was the chocolate dildo. It was still my favorite thing in the store, although I hadn’t tried too many of the toys.
Despite how packed her basket was, Loren was still insistent that something was missing. She had no idea what, but she was just certain that the basket wasn’t complete.
She started getting pouty and a little whiney. It was annoying. I had to wonder how the hell Grant put up with her. I knew that he was a no-nonsense kind of a guy, and she seemed to be nothing but nonsense. Maybe I was being a little hard on her, but whatever, I didn’t have to be her best friend. I was already proud of myself for being civil and helpful.
