by Brea Viragh
My own age? Friends? “If you’re trying to make me feel better, June, don’t. It’s not helping.”
“I know a place with a killer wine selection,” she continued. “We can sit, have a chat, and bitch about men.”
“I’ve done enough bitching with him.” My thumb hiked toward Finn’s room.
June was insistent. “Exactly why you need to get out! You can’t spend all your time here and at work. You need some action. You need some I-don’t-give-a-damn drinks with women.”
“I don’t know…didn’t you hear enough whining over brunch?”
“Please, River. It will be my treat.”
“Or,” came the masculine voice from the other room, “you can stay here and help me trim my toenails.”
June pointed over her shoulder. “Listen to him joke.” She raised her voice. “If you want to come, I’ll save you a seat in the car, Mr. Price.”
There was a moment of silence before Finn answered, “I’ll stick to the nail trimming, thanks.”
Choices, choices. “Fine,” I said. “I’ll be there.”
It was another one of those things where I would rather stay inside and wallow in self-pity than go out to wallow with people I didn’t know to a place I’d never been. Unfortunately, seeing an enthusiastic June now, I knew there was no way to say no and still look her in the eye when I came to volunteer tomorrow. She would take my constant rejection as a personal insult after she’d made herself available to me on numerous occasions.
So I went out.
Toward the end of the night, I was three glasses of wine closer to a full-on drunk. Three glasses past my usual self-imposed limit. Amidst the raucous laughter and countless plates of appetizers we shared, I realized I’d never cared for Weston the way I should have, the way a good woman needed to care for her good man.
I drowned my sorrow and ate my embarrassment. The rest of the girls were properly sympathetic, which I appreciated. However, toward the end of the night, I had time to think through the haze about the direction of my life and the obligations still waiting.
The thought of it brought a sliver of something indescribable to the surface. The sliver made itself known before burrowing deep into the muscles and arteries of my heart.
I rubbed my chest against the very real pain. There was no way I could stop volunteering now. I didn’t want to admit the reason, knowing it was irrational and scary.
I’d started this venture for Weston. But I would stay for Finn.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I could hear sunlight coming in through the blinds. And it was like a high school marching band made entirely of freshman where they played a wicked game of switching instruments.
The pounding in my head rose a few more notches until I clawed at my ears and fought back a wave of nausea. A gallon of water and the darkest sunglasses I could find later, I gripped the doorway to Finn’s room and swung inside, a teeter-totter ready to fall down.
“Ros, you…” His voice trailed off and he blinked. I wondered if he saw two of me like I did of him. “You look like shit. What did you do? I thought I told you not to curl up in a ball and die.”
I pointed in the general direction of the front desk where June habitually sat. Today her absence was notable. “I went out with the girls. Made some new…friends. I think I’m getting too old to make those kinds of friends.”
“What did they do to you?” he wanted to know, his voice rising an octave higher than usual.
“Human sacrifice. Part of my brain is missing.” I clutched the doorjamb, practically digging grooves in the wood, and stumbled forward.
“I noticed the little girl up front stayed home today. Why didn’t you? You had a good reason not to come.”
Why? Because I was a masochist. Because I stuck to a job and followed through until the end. Because I didn’t want Finn to be alone with his new physical therapist, and her appointment was any minute now.
“Can you reach the window?” I asked him instead of answering.
“What, is the light bothering you?”
His chuckle grated on my last nerve. “Finn, I’m telling you right now, I’m in no mood for you.”
“Then go home.” His laughter rose until it clanged against my eardrums. “You’ve been here the last two days. You know the good thing about volunteer work? It’s not mandatory.”
Gritting my teeth, I unfolded my sunglasses and fixed him with my fiercest blurry-eyed glare. My stomach roiled when I looked out onto the shadowy figures of three Finns. Eventually they merged into one amused male who seemed way too full of himself.
“Hush,” I admonished. “I’m going in to the real estate office to fill out paperwork later, since my license came in the mail, so I thought I’d swing by here on my way.”
He stared me up and down. “You need to be in bed. It’s a Saturday. There’s no sense in you coming out after partying so hard.”
How had I forgotten about the weekend? Normal people counted down the days, and I used to be one of them. Yet here I was, out of bed before nine on a Saturday without a good reason. “I have nowhere else to be right now,” I answered slowly.
“And you wanted to share your free time with me. I’m touched, Ros, honestly. We might even be friends after this. If you stop skulking around and act like an adult.” He pointed to the top drawer of his bedside table. “How about you go in there and grab some painkillers? I can practically see your pulse beating in your temples, which can’t feel good.”
“No, genius, it doesn’t.” With an agitated sigh, I bent down and flung open the drawer. The simple movement had my teeth aching. “I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of hangovers in your day. Seeing how you spent most of your time in a bar.”
“There’s your fighting spirit.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Glad to see it didn’t disappear from alcohol poisoning.”
Though I closed my eyes, I felt Finn watching me as I downed a couple of extra-strength aspirin. Anything to take the edge off what was quickly becoming an upset stomach.
“Take a peppermint candy while you’re in there. It will help you not puke all over me.”
“It won’t come to regurgitation,” I assured him.
“It might. Like you said, I spent most of my life in bars. I know how this kind of thing progresses.” He didn’t sound matter-of-fact. If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was a hearty portion of bitterness in his voice.
“You keep peppermint candies? What are you, eighty?”
“I happen to have a love for candy of all shapes and sizes,” he answered. “Leave me alone and take one.”
I’d put a single piece of peppermint candy into my mouth when a knock sounded at the door. The interruption came seconds before dyed pink hair popped around the corner, attached to a woman with the cutest button nose I’d ever seen.
“Yoo-hoo! I’m here!”
“Cassandra.” Finn’s smile lit his features. “You’re early.”
“You need all the help you can get, mister,” she teased, slinking around the doorframe in her size-two scrubs. “I’ll work overtime until we get you where you need to be. You should have been up out of this bed ages ago!”
“You’re too right, sweetie-pie.”
The newcomer blushed a pretty shade to match her hair and pointedly ignored me.
Whether on purpose or accidentally, I immediately hated her. Not for any particular reason other than everything about her. The hair was too bright, her voice too high-pitched. She was too everything.
Cassandra’s choppy golden hair had a fluorescent-pink streak bisecting the bangs obscuring one of her eyes. She shot Finn a sexy smirk and slipped further inside the room, her petite figure poured into a set of what appeared to be shrink-wrapped scrubs.
“I’ve been helping him,” I put in, asserting the fact that I was a real person. Not imaginary. In need of a hello at the very least. “He’s already made it to the door and back, although I’m sure he’s told you.”
“Oh.”
She blinked at me. “Finny, I didn’t realize you had company. You told me you would be alone today.”
Finny?
“Sweetums, I can’t predict the future. You know how I’m irresistible to the fairer sex.” Finn shifted to face me and his lips puckered for an air kiss.
I almost missed it for my inability to look away from Cassandra. The staring match continued without a clear winner and I noted…she was not pleased to see me. When neither of us moved, I tried to be the bigger person and introduce myself. In other words, I blinked first and swallowed my loss.
“Hi, I’m River.”
I went to hold my hand out for a handshake, biting my lip against the shooting pain radiating out from my temples and the inherent disgust I felt for Cassandra. Kept my shock over the reaction to myself.
I was a grown woman and I knew better than to overindulge in alcohol. The sudden swell of fury had to be nothing more than a side effect of the hangover. Right? The alternative was absurd. Determination had me biting down harder to keep my arm outstretched. Strong and unshakeable.
“Ros, Cassie. Say hello and let’s get going. We have a lot of work to do.” Finn wiggled, although I suspected it was less from excitement and more from a desire to see how this would play out. I know how it looked to me. An imminent cat fight where hair pulling wasn’t off the table.
Why? Why would I want to strangle this woman, who was here to do an important job?
I would have been horrified if I’d been in my right mind. Not because of my reaction, but because of Finn. He was not a man who wiggled.
“Ah yes, River. The one who started this in the first place. Thank you for trying to get him up. I’m sure you’re glad I’m here, to take the pressure off of you.” Cassandra dropped her bag and walked to the bed. “Finny says you were a great help to him.”
Were. Past tense. A subtle way of saying I was no longer required.
I hated the way her scrubs stretched tight over her rear. Why couldn’t they be baggy? Hang like a deflated circus tent once the pole is down? Then I decided I was being nasty and in desperate need of an attitude adjustment.
“I’m pleased to see someone taking the time to help Finn,” I answered pointedly. “He’d been left to his own devices long enough. He shouldn’t lose the ability to walk.”
Cassandra shook her finger at the man in question. “He would have gotten help sooner if he hadn’t been so ornery. You’re lucky someone called about you. You’re too cute to waste away.”
He chuckled, the rumble deep in his chest. “Not everyone was as pretty as you, sweetheart. Some of those other physical therapists were real dogs. They had to go.”
Cassandra giggled something unintelligible and rolled back the covers. I stood watching, arms in an X over my chest, and feeling like the wrong end of a third wheel. The end dragging in the mud, utterly useless.
Maybe I should have stayed home. I wasn’t going to do any good standing there in the middle of a pout.
Then Finn’s eyes met mine. “Ros…”
I jolted out of my reverie at the smooth baritone sound, eyebrows drawing together. “Yes?”
“Would you mind grabbing me a pair of boxers from the drawer? I seem to have left off my pants today. Can’t have anyone seeing my business before I’m ready.”
I rolled my eyes amidst another round of giggles from Cassandra. He wasn’t that funny. “Yes, sir, it would be my pleasure.”
“Sir? I didn’t realize we were role-playing.”
“We’re not.”
“I thought we’d finally gotten the stick out of your ass,” he said to me. Another laugh from Cassandra had my scowl deepening. “Or has your hangover spoiled your attitude?”
I shot daggers at him in lieu of a response.
“Hangover?” Cassandra asked, glancing over. “What are you doing out of bed?”
“I had business in town.”
“Well, don’t worry about us here. We’ll do well enough if you want to head out.” Her smile was arctic chilly when she glanced up from her bag, bringing out two green ropes.
My right cheek twitched. “I’ll stay for a bit. Thanks.”
“What’s the matter with you?” Finn prompted when I failed to look at him. “You look green. Get another peppermint and be happy, or get out.”
Get out? I hadn’t heard him use that phrase since our first day together.
“It’s none of your business,” I answered through clenched teeth. He wanted me to get out?
It didn’t take long to grab him a pair of underwear, tossing it across the room where it landed on the floor short of the bed. Forced to swallow my annoyance and pick them up as two sets of blue eyes followed my progress.
“Cassie, sweetie, do you mind going to the kitchen and grabbing me a mug of something hot?” Finn kept his gaze on me while gesturing toward the door. “Make it scalding. I want to burn off my taste buds for the next few days. Meatloaf Monday is coming up and I’d rather bite off my own tongue than eat meatloaf. It belongs in the garbage.”
“Anything you say, Finny. Although I’ll have you know I can recognize a ruse from a mile away.” Her gaze flicked over to me again. “When I come back, we’re going to work on your stretches.”
He let out a sigh the moment she closed the door. I kept my gaze solidly on the wall when he spoke. “What is your deal? It’s become fucking frigid in here with your ice queen attitude. Frankly, if you’re going to be this way and you won’t tell me why, then I don’t want to deal with it.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s the hangover. I’m still waiting for the meds to kick in and put me out of my misery. Even my skin is throbbing.”
“Don’t talk all sexy when you know I can’t do anything.” His joke rebounded off me. “You think I can’t see the claws? Not only are you still working off your night, you’re pissed about Cassie taking your place.”
I nearly choked on my spit trying to scoff. “Are you serious? I am not jealous of Cassandra.”
“I didn’t mean jealous. I meant displaced. There’s a difference between the two. You feel like she’s stepping on your toes. Deny it as much as you want. I know you. You’ve gotten all proprietary over me.”
“Finn, she’s the specialist. She’s the one who should have been here this entire time instead of me.” I lifted my chin. “I’m glad she decided to stay and help you.”
“Ah, so you take offense to the flirting.” He gestured toward the bag left on the floor, open to reveal an array of bands and weights to strengthen his muscles. “You don’t like me being sweet to her.”
“You’re free to flirt with whomever you want,” I insisted. “It has nothing to do with me.”
Nothing at all. Nothing with a cherry on top. Finn was free to be himself and bed whatever hussy crossed his path. I was free, too. Free and foul-tempered.
“You still feeling sensitive about being dumped?”
“It was only two days ago.”
“Don’t, because he was an asshole. He never deserved you.”
Cassandra chose that moment to return to the room with a steaming mug clasped between two hands. “Aw, you were dumped? Poor thing.” Much to my chagrin, I recognized the moment the light popped on behind her eyes. “Oh, right! You’re the mayor’s girlfriend. Sorry, ex-girlfriend. I think I heard someone talking about his being newly single.”
Just what I needed. Little miss cotton-candy-head throwing my reduced relationship status in my face. “Yeah, that’s me.” My tone was dry enough to leave cracks. “Thank you for reminding me.”
Finn took hold of the conversation before it slipped down an alley and took out a shiv. “Cassie, I can see from here the cup isn’t hot enough. Go on back to the kitchen and put it in the microwave for another five minutes, will ya? Exactly five minutes.”
She inclined her head and left us again.
“I know what you’re doing, so stop it.” I raised my fingers to massage my temples. “We don’t need time alone to t
alk.”
“I think maybe we do,” Finn answered casually.
“What do you want to say? You know I was rejected in public, you know I went out with the girls and had too much to drink, and what’s more, you know how jealous I am of your new squeeze.” I said the last bit with pronounced sarcasm. “I think we’ve covered the gamut.”
“Then you should have stayed home today,” Finn maintained. “I’m not sure why you’re here.”
The funny thing? I wasn’t either. Not anymore.
“What do you want me to tell you?” I asked in exasperation. “I didn’t know she was going to come.” Yeah, I did. “If I had, then I would have minded my own business and stayed in bed. Seems you don’t want me to see the two of you together anyway.”
A single brow lifted, an aha moment. “Ros, what’s the real problem here?” Finn asked gently, for my sake. He already knew the answer. “Because I’m trying hard to understand. If you’re not upset about Weston and you’re not upset about Cassandra, then why are you unhappy?”
“I’m sorry.” I was shocked to realize I was close to tears. “I’m sorry.”
He patted the bed next to him. “Hey. Come and sit for a second. Don’t cry.”
I used the back of my sleeve to wipe my face. “I wouldn’t want to impose. You have work to do.”
“And I’ll get to it in a minute,” he insisted. “Right now, stopping you from flooding the room is more important.”
The moment I sat I realized it was a mistake to get close. His hand knocked against my knee and the tears sprang free. I tried to bolt to my feet, but I was halted in place once more when he grabbed my wrist.
It was our norm—me trying to run, him trying to hold on, both immovable.
With my free hand, I wiped at my eyes. “What do you want from me? Cassandra is going to be back any minute and I…”
What did I have to do? There must be something impressive I could tell him. Something to make me feel better when I suddenly felt inadequate.
