by Brea Viragh
He shrugged. “It’s just an observation. Nothing difficult there.”
“I don’t want to start an argument, but I will if you won’t act civil. Stop making a scene.”
“Who’s making a scene? It’s not me, Ros, I can assure you. I came to talk. You’re the one who can’t seem to carry on a serious conversation. One where I tell you how I feel and you listen.”
I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze until his eyes popped out of his head. I didn’t, which in my opinion was a demonstration of my immaculate restraint.
“I want us to talk to each other, see where we can go with this. You were the one who wanted to cut ties and pretend we didn’t have an hour of hot, sweaty—”
I covered my ears with my hands. “I’m not hearing you right now. La la la la la…”
“Stop acting like a child.”
“Keep your voice down!”
“You said it’s all a game,” Finn scoffed. “I’m playing along. The more uncomfortable you are, the better for me.”
“You like seeing me uncomfortable? There are thousands of women out there for you to hook and reel. Go try your luck with them, if you’re bored.”
“You can’t have it both ways. You can’t push me away and get pissy if I flirt with someone else.”
“I’m not pissy!” The word ended on a screech guaranteed to turn all eyes in our direction. I buried my embarrassment by toying with my hair.
“Can we stop arguing about this and just relax? Maybe go out and have a drink together?” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Enjoy an afternoon ride?”
“I’d rather not.”
“Tell me what I did to break you and I’ll drop the subject.”
“Are you trying to ruin my day?”
“The woman I see right now, the one from the last two weeks, is not the same woman I got to know at the rehab house. And she’s definitely not the same one I had naked and writhing underneath me.”
My hands slapped over my face and I flushed. “You’re disgusting. Stop bringing it up.”
He stalked forward. “I can see bits and pieces of her, but it’s like someone turned out the light inside of you.”
“Well, for your information, I am the same woman who slept with you. A better version of her. More like River two-point-oh, new and improved. I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’m moving forward.”
“Want me to throw you a parade?”
“You aren’t going to be another in a long line of men I’ve dated. Narcissistic men, the bad boys, the phony ones who wanted a quick lay, depressed guys who wanted an ego boost… I’m over thirty and I’ve realized my life so far is a series of lousy relationships. Of being with people just to feel better about myself.”
“I fit right in, then, don’t I?”
During the course of the conversation, Finn had effectively steered me against the porch rails. Cornered against the wood, cut off from any easy means of escape, we continued to spar.
“Believe me when I tell you there’s no such thing as a good relationship. This isn’t about you. This is about me.”
“Bullshit. You’re letting everyone else tell you what to think, what to do, like you did when Weston told you to boost your public image.”
I pointed at my chest. “I did that for me.”
“You would have volunteered if he hadn’t suggested it first?”
“Yes,” I answered petulantly.
“You’re a liar, Ros. Stop listening to everyone else and tell me what you want.”
“I want…I want to move on with my life and forget you ever existed.”
“Oh really? I don’t warrant a second chance to be with you?”
I had a direct answer for him even when bitterness pooled on my tongue. “I guess you don’t.”
He swallowed, holding it together, though he pinned me with a hard, unyielding gaze. “Don’t you want to hear firsthand how I feel?”
The thought scared the shit out of me and I shrank back. “No, I think I’m good.”
“Ros, hold up.” His hand wrapped around my wrist, the heat searing past nerves and tendons until his fingerprints were imprinted on my bones. “You have to listen to me.”
“I don’t have to listen, Finn. As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing more to say. You’re an egotistical prick who needed bribing to be able to walk again. And I let you right into my life.”
“Put your fucking pride away and shut your mouth. I messed up. You and I both know I’m far from perfect, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I can be an asshole. But I…I care about you. I want you in my life.”
Things between us felt too serious. Even before we’d slept together, I’d felt myself drowning in thoughts of him. A girl was entitled to come up for air without being grilled.
Still, my body ached for his touch. I felt like an addict, hoping no one would see through me and expose the lies controlling my life. And Finn was my drug of choice.
“I meant what I said to you before. We can’t date. I messed up the dynamic and I’m sorry. We’re going to have to get used to this new normal and deal with the tangle I’ve gotten us into.”
“I’m not agreeing to your deal.”
“Tough. You must,” I said.
“Tell me you don’t feel anything.” He flung my hands down, tugging me forward until our chests pressed together. Fingertips dug into my hips and, despite my resolve, an answering lust rose out of nowhere to swallow me whole.
The tip of his nose stopped a breath away from mine. My lips parted, prepared for assault. “I don’t feel anything,” I insisted.
“Nothing, River?”
There it was again. My name instead of the quirky nickname I’d come to expect from him.
I drew back. “You need to stop. Someone could be coming at any minute.”
“So?”
He refused to let go of me. And honest to goodness, even though I wanted to, I didn’t fight. Our shoulders bumped together. Nothing else intruded.
“I’ll say goodbye now,” I replied slowly.
“Goodbye, River.”
I trailed my index fingernail along the edge of his jacket zipper. “Goodbye, Finn. Safe travels.”
This time, I was the one who shot to kill. The one who broke the distance separating us, lunged forward, took his mouth with mine. Both hands rose to touch his cheeks and drag him down to meet me.
Finn released his hold long enough to grip the porch railing and steady himself when his balance disappeared. I moaned as he swiveled, groin pushing into me, my hair knotted in his free hand.
My lungs forgot how to work and my heart lost the ability to pump blood. He broke off on an exhale, releasing me fast. My knees clacked and I fell against the porch rails.
“Your heart is showing, Ros. Better take it off your sleeve before you get blood on the ground.”
With a final nod of his head, Finn shuffled off, his distinctive stride carrying him across the lawn to the motorcycle. He didn’t spare me a second glance before swinging his leg over the seat, pulling on his helmet, turning the key in the ignition, and jetting off down the road in a cloud of dust.
What the hell…?
I blinked, staring at the dust painting my shoes a dull brown. My knees continued to shake and I placed a hand on the rails behind me to stay upright. Lips bruised, heart fluttering, I wondered if this was real or a twisted figment of my imagination.
I stood for a moment, mouth rounded. How could he leave me like this? Aching and swollen in intimate places. Wanting him more than I wanted to continue to exist. I raised a fingertip to my mouth, though it wasn’t to chew my cuticle. No more nervous tics.
It was better this way. Better for me to stay away from the bait, to stay away from temptation. Away from Finn Price.
I had nothing against romance. In a different world, we might have fallen in love and lived happily ever after. Now there was too much at stake to throw away my good sense on fantasy and stupidity.
Better to
embrace the wiser, older me. Even if she was a scant week or two older than the floozy who’d opened her legs to a recovering invalid.
It was minutes later when I realized I wasn’t alone in the driveway. A second car had pulled up, like a silent spectator at a sporting match. How long had they been there? What had they seen? Mortification fermented into dread in the pit of my stomach.
I turned toward the couple staring at me with narrow, unforgiving eyes. “Hello. Welcome,” I managed to get out.
It took effort not to reach up and straighten my hair. Not to wipe my lips of the smeared lipstick there. I stepped out of the hedges and back onto the path. “You’ve come for the open house?”
The male of the couple rolled down his window. “We’ve decided not to come inside. It’s not the place we were looking for.”
“What?” Shock froze my legs and kept me from walking forward to greet them.
“It’s…not a good fit for us. We don’t feel comfortable buying from you.”
“Buying…from me?”
I wished I could get my act together long enough to stop mimicking them.
“We’d feel better looking elsewhere.” He spared a glance down the road at the fading trail of dust.
I couldn’t help the explosion when it came. “Because of Finn? Because you saw me kissing Finn Price and decided I didn’t have the wherewithal to sell you a house? Is that it?”
The husband hurriedly rolled up his window and sent the car into reverse.
“You think his bad reputation somehow impacts the way I do business? You won’t come inside to look because you saw him here?” I shouted the last at their retreating taillights long after they were out of earshot.
The only nibble I’d had all day, and I’d lost them. I wished I knew whether Finn had cost the sale, or I had.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“River, I need your help!”
I groaned and drew the covers over my head to block out the noise. “Go away.”
Fingers tipped with daggers dug into my shoulders and did their best to drag me from my fog of sleep. “I’m serious! Get out of bed right now.”
A single tug took away my cotton shield and exposed me to the cold light of day. It didn’t look much better than when I’d first closed my eyes and wished to disappear.
Only this time, June stood over the bed. Her normally pristine mop of blonde was in disarray, and there were smudges beneath her eyes. “You have to help.”
I let an exasperated sigh slip through my lips. “June, what are you doing here?”
“It’s terrible. Awful. They’re going to stop funding the home.”
“Slow down.” I shifted, blinking until she came into view. “And who let you inside?”
“Your mother.” June sniffled once before giving in to despair. At once a torrent of tears flowed down her cheeks. “We have to do something!”
Throwing back the comforter with dramatic flair, I swung out of bed and struggled to comprehend. I shook off the last of my sleep before reaching out to bring her to my side.
“June, it’s okay. Tell me what’s going on. What’s so important you had to come to my house at…oh God, it’s eleven o’clock. I should have been at work two hours ago.”
She let her head drop to my shoulder. “They’re talking about defunding the rehab home, River. The state decided we didn’t fit the type of demographic profile they require to keep funding in place.”
“What?”
“The representative who called yesterday said Virginia’s shrinking budget means they must cut some services they provide. So our program is on the chopping block.” June placed a hand over her chest to force herself to relax. “I don’t know what we can do.”
“Is it a done deal?”
“I’m not sure. I just heard my boss muttering about it at the meeting. From what I understand, the county could step up and help out with the shortfall, but it doesn’t look good.”
“You want the county to take over the financial responsibility?” I took a firm hold of her shoulders to calm her down. “Is that what you’re saying?”
Her breathing quickened. “Even if the state decides to keep the facility open, we’ll be forced to cut back on the number of people we help. And we’re not the only ones. Tens of thousands of residents across the state will lose their access to places like ours when the funding is stopped. Rehab houses, drug treatment centers, prevention programs…” June trailed off. Shifted her glasses aside to rub her eyes. “We’re getting the ax. I know it.”
“You need to rewind and repeat. How did you find this out?”
“Our meeting yesterday afternoon. When I pushed my supervisor for information, he said if the town or county doesn’t have the money to take it over, then the state would sell the facility and disband the program. If that happens…I just don’t know.”
“The county can take over the responsibility of running the rehab house if we can find the funding?” I asked, trying to put the picture together in my mind.
June nodded emphatically. “Which is why I wanted to talk to you. I know you and Weston aren’t dating anymore, and he’s about to move down to Florida—”
“I’m not speaking to Weston.”
“Not him. Someone else in the office. Anyone who might be willing to listen. I’ve tried to get through and no one wants to give me a chance to talk.”
“You found this out today?”
She shook her head. “Apparently my supervisor has known for about a week. I didn’t want to bother you, but I wasn’t sure who else was available. You’ve seemed depressed.” She blew a lock of hair away from her forehead.
“Tends to happen. Not gonna lie.”
“I need your spirit on this project.” June rubbed her eyes. “They can’t close the home. It helps so many people who don’t have the means to help themselves. If it closes—”
“I know. I understand.” The rehab facility had helped Finn when he’d had nowhere to go, no one to help him. And there had been countless others before him. “Is the county even willing to assume a program to address rehab and treatment?” I wondered, shifted June closer when another sob racked her body.
“I tried to call someone in the office this morning but they put me on hold and never came back.” She sniffled. “No one wants to talk to me. Maybe you’d have better luck.”
“I didn’t exactly get along well with them, if you know what I mean. We’re not on good terms, with Weston leaving.”
“But at least you know the ins and outs. They won’t tell me anything, River. I don’t know how much time we have left.”
I sighed and pushed myself up, shoving at the mussed strands of hair around my face. “I’ll try. If talking to them doesn’t work, we’ll figure something out on our own. Even if just to keep it open until some long-term solution can be found. A fundraiser, maybe.”
“Thank you!” June lunged forward to wrap her arms around me. “I feel like this is the break we need.”
I hated to tell her that if her dreams rode on my shoulders, she was in for a world of disappointment. There wasn’t much a single woman with no leverage could accomplish when the brass linked arms. I would, however, do my best.
***
“This turned out well.” June stood next to me and surveyed the crowd. “A Vegas Night to raise awareness and moolah. How did you manage to put this together on such short notice?”
“I had a few tricks up my sleeve.”
And a few favors my mother called in for me. She was the hero here, not me. Not to mention Garth and the girls in my office who had their own unique sets of connections. The wiring beneath the town, the kind of network between people that made everything work and click, was amazing.
Once word of mouth reached the public about what we hoped to accomplish, buzz spread faster and faster. Soon my phone and inbox were crowded with well-wishers wanting to help. Wanting to save the space for the good of their community.
These were the same people who, Weston had tol
d me once upon a time, didn’t think of me with favor. Funny how things had changed.
The town rallied. Our campaign was supported by people from all walks of life, young and old and everyone in between.
“The rental space was nothing, but the decorations were difficult,” I told June, fingering a plastic pearl ring around my finger. “I went to quite a few party stores and found nothing before Mrs. Fishman told me about her granddaughter’s little secret obsession. All this mostly came from her personal collection of party favors.”
“My hat is off to you.” June took a sip of her champagne. “I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you. It means a lot to me.”
“And your superiors?”
She spared a wave to a group of men and women who looked like they’d be more at home in white coats than black ties. They held each champagne flute using two fingers.
“They’re impressed,” June stated. “You put this together faster than it took the lot of them to talk to the state. They were dead set on trying to get the officials to reconsider.”
It would have been easy to take all the credit and tell her it had been me. Me and my genius. Instead, I’d relied on the tricks Finn divulged before exiting my life. Those small, simple pieces of advice made a world of difference when trying to put an idea together from nothing. With those tricks, people had rallied.
Satisfaction tasted tart in the back of my throat.
“You go mingle,” I told June. “It’s not every day you get to dress up in something with sequins. Tell me you didn’t go out and buy that gown specifically for tonight.”
“What if I did?”
She’d pulled out all the stops tonight, dressing in a sequined gown in a creamy shade of mother-of-pearl. Each strand of sparkles caught the light and threw off a shimmer whenever she moved. I felt downright dowdy in comparison, the wicked stepsister to her Cinderella.
Still, tonight wasn’t about me. It was for the rehab house, trying to raise the money for the county to purchase the building and begin the program under new management.
James and Mark, my two aces in the hole, shot me twin smiles from across the room. They’d been the ones willing to listen. Tonight was a way to see if this plan was feasible. They would watch and determine if we made enough money to make the project worthwhile. I considered them critical to the plan’s success.
