The Goddess Gets Her Guy

by Ashlyn Chase

  Cheek resting against his fist, he thought about how pathetic he seemed. He couldn’t stand being this way. He hadn’t told anyone about his diagnosis. “Maybe it’s a good thing they’re not here. The girls would worry, and I don’t want to burden them. They just think my early retirement is a well-earned vacation. In a way, it is. I’ve been itching to do something new, but a pigeonhole is hard to break out of. And I’m getting too old to learn a new specialty.

  “What can I do? There has to be more to my life than waiting for grandchildren to be born. I need to do something to make myself feel useful again.” He reflected back on his undergrad days. “I took a course in botany once. I really enjoyed it. Maybe I could take up gardening…”

  He thought about a friend of his who’d discovered a rare plant in the rain forest—it became one of the wonder drugs of the century. Aaron had recently been on a trip to the Brazilian rain forest, but it was brief and with a totally different purpose. His family’s nemesis had to be dealt with, and he was only there to supervise. His son-in-law’s family had actually taken the bad guys down. He couldn’t even participate in his own coup.

  He scratched his head. “If I were to cultivate some kind of wonder drug, what would it be? Hmm… Well, what’s the number one cause of death? Heart disease, right? I’m in the cardiology field. Who better to research a cure for weak or damaged hearts? An undiscovered medicinal plant won’t be easy to find, analyze, test, patent, and get approved, but I’m done feeling sorry for myself!”

  His daughter Kizzy had recently moved to Puerto Rico with her husband, Noah Fierro. When learning about the island his daughter was moving to, he had stumbled across a fact that surprised him, namely that Puerto Rico contained the only tropical rain forest in the United States.

  The couple was still in that honeymoon stage, so he wouldn’t intrude by staying with them, but he could book his own hotel room nearby, then offer to take them out to dinner and make it seem as if he was taking a long-awaited tropical holiday. No one needed to know he was exploring the idea of switching to research.

  Feeling more excited about this than anything else in recent weeks, he placed Cat on the floor, popped out of his chair, and strode to his office where he kept his computer. Nothing said he had to act on the idea, but it wouldn’t hurt to poke around online and check out areas besides San Juan, which was the spot he had learned about before she moved. He was concerned mainly about hurricanes after his daughter told him she and Noah were moving there to aid in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria.

  Scanning specifically for information about Puerto Rico’s rain forest, he first learned its name, El Yunque, and thank goodness its pronunciation was included in the article…El Yu-ke. The fact that it rained year-round was no surprise. Twenty feet per year, though? He’d definitely have to pack his rain gear.

  Then he saw facts that interested him as a doctor. Since rain forests have also been called the world’s pharmacy and he hoped to discover something no one else had, Puerto Rico was a good place to start. There were species of flora and fauna only known to exist in El Yunque.

  The more he read, the more he needed to know. It would be easy to get lost, poisoned, or eaten in any rain forest, but he would learn how to be safe.

  He admired his daughter and son-in-law for their selflessness. They were doing everything they could to help those on the island who were still in need, she as a doctor, he as a firefighter and EMT. Plus almost the entire Fierro family had moved there and were volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, actually rebuilding neighborhoods which the hurricane had destroyed.

  Aaron, pragmatic man that he was, realized money made the world go round, but without it, all the island had was its hardworking people and natural resources. For years, he’d put plenty of money aside for a rainy day. Now he realized how ironic it was.

  He dug his cell phone out of his pocket, brought up his contacts, and smiled as he clicked on Kizzy’s number.

  “Hi, Dad!”

  “Hi, honey. It’s good to hear your voice. I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  “How would you feel about my coming for a short visit sometime soon?”

  “Really? I’d love that!” she answered. “When?”

  “As soon as I can arrange a pet sitter for Cat.”

  Chapter 3

  Dawn Forest happily hummed to herself as she weeded her garden. She and Luca were lucky enough to have found a cute little house just outside San Juan. It was made of cinder blocks, surrounded by a cinder-block wall, and in the front, an iron gate was the only opening. Not the most attractive look, but practical…especially during hurricanes. She sensed someone coming toward her and looked up. When she saw her beloved Luca, she broke into a grin. “Hi, hon!”

  “Hi, babe. How’s it going?”

  “It’s getting there. The garden was neglected for a long time, and I’m not sure I have a green enough thumb for this. Did you come out to tell me about a new job for us?”

  “No new business today. I thought I’d just come out and gaze at my beautiful fiancée.”

  Dawn laid down her gardening tools, rose, and slipped her arms around Luca’s waist. “How did I get so lucky?”

  “I don’t know. Good karma, I guess.” He grinned.

  Before they could kiss, a whirlwind spiraled up right next to them, and Mother Nature appeared.

  “Gaia!” Luca instinctively stood between the powerful goddess and Dawn. “What do you want? Are you here to punish me for telling my future wife about my paranormal abilities?”

  Dawn put her hands on Luca’s shoulders and peeked around him. “I’d never tell anyone about paranormal abilities. I have my own freaky secrets.”

  “Words. Just words,” Gaia said as she crossed her arms. “How do I know you mean them?”

  “I know how people react to my psychic abilities,” Dawn said. “I’d never want anyone I love to be feared or mocked for being different.”

  Mother Nature nodded. “Good. But that’s not why I’m here. Are you two going to give me a chance to talk?”

  “Yes, of course. I’m sorry for babbling,” Luca said.

  “I’m here to speak to your wife.”

  “Me?” Dawn said.

  “You are his wife, right?”

  “I will be. We’re getting married in a few weeks.”

  “Oh. Time is fairly fluid for me. Congratulations. Now I’d like to speak to you alone.”

  Luca kept a protective arm around her. “I don’t want to leave. How do I know she’ll be safe?”

  Mother Nature’s jaw dropped. “Of course she’ll be safe! All I do is look out for my children. How could you even ask that?”

  “I’m sorry. I’ve just heard rumors you can be…um…tough.”

  She waved away the comment. “You shouldn’t listen to rumors. I don’t have to carry out my threats very often.”

  “Threats?” Dawn’s eyes widened.

  “Nothing to worry about. I’m not threatening either of you. Actually, I have a job offer for you, Dawn.”

  “Seriously?”

  “No, I came all this way and exposed myself to a human because I’m kidding.”

  Luca mumbled under his breath, “I guess the rumors of her sarcasm are true.”

  “I heard that, Fierro. Now run along so I can talk to your soon-to-be wife.”

  Luca nodded, then kissed Dawn’s cheek and whispered, “Yell if you need me,” subsequently withdrawing into the house.

  “Goddess, I’d offer you a place to sit and a cool drink, but I’m afraid I don’t have a bench yet. We were going to build one… A swing, actually.”

  Mother Nature snapped her fingers, and a white bench swing appeared beside the flower bed. “Something like this?”

  Dawn’s eyes rounded. “Exactly like that.”

  Mother Nature smiled, sat
on it, and patted the spot next to her. “Consider it a wedding gift.”

  Dawn cautiously sat next to the powerful goddess. “Thank you. That’s very generous of you.”

  Gaia nodded once. “My pleasure—and not just because you’re named after my favorite time of day. Now, let me get to the heart of the matter. You may have heard I hired a few modern muses. They’ve all been humans, or I should say former humans, since they must become minor goddesses to carry out their duties. Most are married to paranormals.”

  “Oh? No, I hadn’t heard.”

  Mother Nature smiled. “Good. That means your future sisters-in-law are keeping their mouths shut.”

  “My future sisters-in-law? They’re working for you?”

  “Some of them, yes. And I’ve hired a couple of women from other families you probably don’t know. There are only six in all. I can’t stress enough how useless my original nine muses are in this modern day and age. That’s why I need new ones.”

  Dawn didn’t know if she should say something or just wait and hope Gaia explained what she was getting at. She opted for respectful silence.

  “So, getting to the point, I’m here to offer you a job. I know about your psychic ability, and I hear you’re technically adept?”

  Dawn considered her answer carefully, wanting to be as honest as possible. “I’d say I’m adept at some technical things but not others. No human being can be good at everything.”

  Gaia tipped her head. “I was told you had a technical job back in Boston. Is that not true?”

  Dawn sensed she was treading on shaky ground. “Well, yes, I worked on a help desk for ScholarTech. So I guess you could say I know a little about technology and a lot about teaching software.”

  Mother Nature looked at the sky and smiled. “Finally. I’ve been looking for someone who can help unravel the mystery of modern technology and actually teach my original muses how they can be more useful to me.”

  “And you think I’d be a good teacher?”

  Gaia shrugged. “I have no idea, but beggars can’t be choosers. I need someone who’s already aware of the paranormal world, someone who would welcome a little goddess power while using it responsibly, and someone who’s trustworthy and won’t spill the beans about any of this.”

  “I—I guess I fit the criteria, but I’m not sure that’s what I want. I’m already very busy.”

  Gaia folded her arms and leaned away from her. “Busy gardening? That’s what you call busy?” She waved her arm, and the garden instantly came to life with vibrant color and sweet scents.

  “Wow! Thanks. But no, not at all. I have a job, plus Luca and I are setting up a private detective agency, and then I’ll have two jobs. With my psychic powers and Luca’s criminal justice degree and former job as a cop, together we can solve any number of cases. We’re very excited about it, and I wouldn’t want to lose my focus. I’m not sure I could handle three jobs without doing one or more poorly.”

  “My modern muses are given a very generous bonus.”

  “But I’m already getting a generous bonus from Karma Cleaners.”

  Gaia’s brow wrinkled. “Karma Cleaners? What’s that?”

  Dawn straightened. “You don’t know? I thought with all the goddesses working there, you’d be well aware of the business.”

  Gaia smiled, but Dawn sensed something simmering beneath her calm exterior.

  “Tell me about this business.”

  “Well, I guess I can. I’m not allowed to tell any human unless they want to have their karma cleaned.”

  “Oh? Please continue.”

  Dawn knew she had made a mistake but didn’t know how to get out of it. If Gaia doesn’t know about Karma Cleaners, then Karma must not have wanted her to. But now that she knows this much, how can I weasel out of telling her more? She worried her lip and thought about her words carefully.

  “Tell me the truth. You won’t get in trouble unless you lie to me…and that includes lying by omission. Don’t try to weasel out of it.”

  She must be able to read minds.

  “Yes, I can. Now don’t make me search your mind for the information I want. It can be a little painful for you and disgusting for me. A person’s gray matter is slimy and jiggly.”

  “Ewww… Okay, I’ll tell you what I know. I don’t know everything, of course. Just what I’ve been taught and experienced firsthand.”

  “I understand. Please go on.”

  Dawn pushed the swing with her foot before thinking to ask the goddess. “Oh, do you mind if we sway a bit?”

  Gaia chuckled. “I’d enjoy it. Go ahead.”

  Dawn pushed off with both feet and enjoyed the breeze while moving through the air. “Okay. Here’s what I know. One day, I was desperate to get out of the circumstances I was in. I’d been involved with the local gang in my old neighborhood. I didn’t know how to get out. I was doing everything I could to straighten out my life, but it just wasn’t working. I’d stayed in school and was going to college. As many times as I tried to separate myself from the gang, they kept dragging me back in. They said I was their ‘early warning system’ because of my psychic ability. They used me to alert them to the cops as they made their drug and gun deals.

  “I desperately wanted help to get out but had no one to turn to. I tried to get my grandmother to move, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She was raised in that house, and when my mother went to jail, she raised me there. I couldn’t break her heart by telling her I could be following in my mother’s footsteps, so I protected her by pretending that everything was fine. But it wasn’t fine. I hated being used by the gang, but I was powerless to stop them.

  “One day, I was really wishing my circumstances were different, out loud. I said something like, ‘Fuck my life. I wish I could start over and pretend to be useless to the gang.’ I began to cry and hug my pillow. Nothing happened right away, but about six months later, I was approached by an old woman. We chatted for a bit, and then she twirled and became a beautiful young woman. She told me they had been watching me since that honest plea for help. It took them a bit of time to respond, because they had to research my past.”

  “Who is ‘they’?” Gaia asked.

  “Oh. The Karma Cleaners. It’s a group of goddesses and former graduates who are based over an actual dry cleaner.” She chuckled. “My supervisor, Lynda, said their motto is ‘We can get the stains out of your clothes and your soul.’”

  “That’s very interesting. Tell me more,” Gaia said.

  Dawn bit her lip and hesitated. Gaia just lifted one eyebrow. “Okay. Here’s the rest. I’m a graduate of the program. I worked in a community youth center and helped kids avoid getting into gangs, quitting school, dealing drugs, and all the other dangers kids living in the inner city face.”

  Gaia gave her a slight smile, then schooled her features. “That’s good. It seems like you managed to turn your life around. Did Karma Cleaners do that for you?”

  “They just guided me so I could change my own karma. My actions after that naturally improved my karma, and good things began to happen.” She gazed at the back door of her rented home. “One of the best things to happen to me was Luca. I went from avoiding the cops to working with them. I helped find and rescue a missing four-year-old girl. It was dangerous, but I didn’t hesitate. My karma was officially clean after that. As a graduate, they offered me a position like Lynda’s. Finding people with rotten karma who really, really want to change.”

  “And what do you do when you find them?”

  “Well, nothing at first. I spot people I think might be candidates and recommend them to the main office. Then they do the watching and researching and get back to me if they feel I should intervene.”

  “I see. How do you spot them?”

  “Oh, that’s easy now that I’m a psychic detective. We get people looking for help all the time. I can see out o
f their mind’s eye, get flashes of their future, and read their aura. I know if they genuinely want help or have other agendas.”

  “Interesting. Well, thank you so much for your time, Dawn. I’ll let you think about my offer. I could really use your help—even temporarily.”

  Dawn smiled her relief, thanked Gaia again for the swing, and was ready to bid the powerful goddess a warm and sincere farewell when a question only the goddess could answer occurred to her.

  “Mother Nature, may I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why did you let a hurricane devastate Puerto Rico?”

  “Oh. That. Yeah… Did you hear about the giant earthquake that dropped half of California into the Pacific Ocean at the same time?”

  Dawn’s jaw dropped. “No! How could I not have heard about that?”

  Gaia smirked. “Precisely. I was a little busy holding together tectonic plates that day. As soon as I was free, I grabbed hold of the tail of that hurricane and unwound it. You and the rest of the western Caribbean are welcome.”

  * * *

  “Karma?” Gaia bellowed into the ether.

  Karma appeared out of the mist and strolled up to her sister. “No need to holler. Are you looking for me?”

  “Damn right I am. Sit your ass down and tell me all about this Karma Cleaners agency of yours.”

  Karma shrugged. “Okay, but why don’t we find a nice spot in the French countryside and have a couple glasses of champagne?”

  “That sounds good. Wait! Are you just trying to relax me so I won’t be mad at you?”

  “I figured it couldn’t hurt.”

  “I’ve heard of this champagne, but isn’t it used for celebrations? We are definitely not celebrating!”

  “Do you mean to tell me you’ve never had champagne?”

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “Well, we must remedy this situation immediately.” Karma snapped her fingers, and they were sitting at a sidewalk café in Paris. A waiter appeared. “Garçon, we’d like two glasses of your best champagne, please.”