The Goddess Gets Her Guy

by Ashlyn Chase

  Fate appeared with her laptop balanced on one arm.

  “I’m here. No need to yell.”

  “What was this nonsense you were telling me about kissing frogs?”

  “Haven’t you ever heard about the story of a witch placing a curse on a prince, turning him into a frog? The only way to break the curse was to get a princess to kiss the frog, and then he’d turn back into a prince.”

  “But why didn’t you tell me that? I’m not a princess, and all this was for nothing.”

  Fate looked like she was about to giggle, but she slapped her hand over her mouth. After taking a deep breath and composing herself, she said, “Did you actually try kissing frogs?”

  Gaia put her hands on her hips. “What did you expect me to do? You told me I’d have to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince. Was that just a practical joke?”

  “Not at all. I expected you to understand it was a parable.”

  “Oh fuck,” Gaia muttered under her breath.

  Fate cleared her throat. “I have a few more candidates for you to look at. Are you interested? Or would you like to do this another time?”

  Gaia let out a deep breath. All the leaves around them fluttered. “Fine, I’ll see what you have, but I’d like to sit someplace warm with a sweet umbrella drink while we do this.”

  “Excellent idea!” Fate said. With the snap of her fingers, the two of them were sitting at a hilltop bar, overlooking the Caribbean islands and beautiful sunny spots where the clouds parted. “Okay, I have three possibles for you to look at.” She set the laptop in front of Gaia.

  Examining the pictures and profiles, Gaia nixed the politician immediately. She wanted nothing to do with politics and couldn’t understand why Fate would recommend someone like that. She hated being lied to. Politicians seemed to do more lying than truth telling.

  Next, she looked at the picture of a newscaster. He was handsome but again too much into mankind’s failings and foolishness. She imagined his job must be depressing, since she had seen the news a few times and it was always depressing.

  Then she saw a basketball player, a star, his profile said. Well, he might be a little full of himself, but she could handle that. She was a little full of herself too, or so she had been told, so who knows…maybe it would work out okay. And if he was used to winning these games, he was apt to be frequently in a good mood. “Okay. This one.” She pointed to the tall, good-looking basketball player.

  “Excellent choice,” Fate said. “I’ll set something up and let you know where and when to meet him.”

  “I thought I was supposed to email or something first.”

  “I’ll check him out with Karma, but I want this to go well for you. If you already like his looks and he makes you happy, that’s all that counts.”

  * * *

  For once, Gaia was encouraged. The date with the basketball player was going well. He picked a lovely restaurant. He was respectful, charming, witty, but kind of dumb. Even so, she wasn’t turned off completely. And then…

  Pan showed up in all his half-goat glory.

  Crap! She’d have to erase everyone’s memories, including her date’s. “What do you want, Pan?”

  “I simply want to help.”

  “I don’t need, nor want, your help. Get out.”

  “Sheesh. Rude! I won’t forget this, Gaia.” Before he disappeared, he added, “And neither will you.”

  Since it was such a short visit, Gaia was able to reset the timeline back to before the interruption.

  She swirled her red wine. “So, you were saying?”

  “Uh… I don’t remember, but I have something else to say.”

  “Sure. What’s that?”

  “You really need to dye your hair. I don’t want to look like I’m dating my grandma. And get those eyebrows tweezed. I hear there are a lot of different ways to have them professionally shaped.”

  She adjusted her posture, trying not to lose it. “Oh? Where do you hear that?” she asked sweetly.

  “Oh, you know…the girls talk outside our locker room. And while you’re at it, you might want to find someone to help you pick out clothes—something from this century. The sixteen-year-old groupies dress better than you.”

  Gaia’s mouth gaped open. This wasn’t the guy she was sitting with a moment ago. Before, he was full of compliments. Now, nothing but criticism.

  “What are sixteen-year-olds doing outside your locker room—besides discussing fashion?”

  He grinned. “Oh, they’re not all sixteen-year-old girls. There are plenty of juicy women just waiting to take a player home.”

  “And do you go home with them?”

  “If they’re willing…why not?”

  “Would you continue to do that even if we’re dating?”

  “Sure. If they’re really hot.”

  “WTF?” That was an expression she’d heard humans and paranormals use when they were baffled.

  He leaned forward. “I’m just being honest. You wouldn’t want me to lie, would you?”

  “I—I guess not.”

  “Wow. You guess not? You can’t even commit to the importance of honesty? That’s also a red flag.”

  “Red flag? What do you mean by that?”

  “It means danger. You know. Like at the beach when people should stay out of the water, the lifeguards fly a red flag. Or maybe you haven’t been to the beach lately.” He looked her up and down. “You don’t exactly have a tan and a bikini-ready body. Do you?”

  Gaia stood up so abruptly, the table tipped. As far as she was concerned, it didn’t tip quite far enough, so she flipped it, spilling red wine all over his white shirt.

  “Fuck!”

  “Not with you, that’s for sure.” She stormed out of the restaurant as people stared at her.

  Finding a private spot near Mount Olympus, she cried out, “Pan! Get your hairy ass here, right now!”

  He appeared, chewing a mouthful of grass. As soon as he’d swallowed, he said, “Yes, my Goddess?”

  “You ruined my date, didn’t you?”

  “Ruined it? Oh dear. I meant to improve it. Didn’t you want to know what your date was really thinking?”

  “No. And how did you do it, anyway?”

  “Just a tiny truth spell.”

  “Well, spell this… B-U-C-K-O-F-F!”

  His back heels left the grass involuntarily, and before they hit the ground again, he disappeared. She didn’t like to manipulate her gods, but this one needed to be reminded who had power over whom. He needed to be punished.

  Unfortunately, she heard him laughing from the ether. Gaaah! Gods are so hard to control!

  * * *

  “Fate, what were you thinking?” Gaia shouted.

  Fate entered the ether and sighed. “Why don’t we go somewhere, and you can tell me what happened?”

  Mother Nature grabbed Fate’s hand, and the two of them materialized on the top of a mountain with a beautiful view. It was pretty Mount Lafayette in New Hampshire’s White Mountains.

  “Okay, so here we are.” Fate took up a lotus position on a nearby rock. “What happened?”

  “What happened is that you picked a loser for me. A crazy person. I don’t know what you were thinking.” Gaia clasped her hands behind her back and paced back and forth in front of her sister.

  “I didn’t pick him, remember? This is why I had you pick. I knew you’d try to blame anything that went wrong on me.”

  Gaia stopped in her tracks and whirled on her. “I picked him?”

  Fate gaped at her. “I showed you some pictures of possible matches. And you decided which picture you liked.”

  “I did not.”

  “Did too.”

  Karma appeared between them. Her red hair blew in the wind until she grasped it and tied it into a knot. “D
on’t fight. You sound like children. I think what happened was just a misunderstanding. Now before we move on, try to be clear about how you want these matches to happen. But what I want to know first is what went wrong with each one so far, so the mistakes don’t get repeated.”

  Gaia frowned. “I know it may have seemed like a good idea to match me with a Wiccan. He obviously believes in the Goddess—with a capital G—and a whole host of other gods and goddesses. He was a little starstruck, and I have to admit I enjoyed that a little bit.

  “However, he has some weird-ass ideas about me. About all of us. And he’s wrong. I don’t require people to wear black robes, meet in circles under the full moon, and hold elaborate rituals.” She snorted.

  Karma shook her head. “So what? If it makes them feel more connected to you, what’s the harm?”

  “Okay, okay,” Fate said. “No one is going to be perfect. And no human knows the real you. You’re going to have to deal with that.”

  “I agree,” said Karma. “You are one mysterious mother…”

  Gaia folded her arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Karma and Fate glanced at each other and giggled. “Look, Sister,” Fate said. “We love you. We want you to be happy. We know it’s not easy to find a relationship built on friendship and trust in this world. It involves time—and getting to know each other. All your humans have to do that. And your paranormals have an even more difficult time, because they have a secret to protect until they know for sure they can trust the other person completely. Think of the box you’ve put them in.”

  Gaia threw her hands in the air. “Is that what it takes? I have to get to know someone and let them get to know me without revealing who I am? That’s a really strange set of circumstances. Did you set that up, Fate?”

  “Um, no. You did!” Fate lowered her gaze and voice. “I may have contributed to it, however. I never expected it to be this hard. I created soul mates. I thought they would recognize each other. And sometimes, they do. There really are incidents of love at first sight. Unfortunately, these days, a lot of people wind up talking themselves out of the idea. There’s only so much I can do for people without interfering.”

  Gaia sank down on a nearby rock and clasped her hands around her knees. “You’re right. It’s difficult. I suppose I have a little more compassion for the paranormals, especially when they have to resort to humans, trying to find a partner they can share a life with.”

  Fate let out a breath she’d been holding. “Finally. She sees it.”

  “Sees what?” Gaia asked.

  Fate and Karma exchanged another glance.

  “What? What am I supposed to see?” Gaia rose and jammed her hands on her hips, leaning forward, challenging her sisters.

  Karma smirked. “Cancel that thought, Fate. She still doesn’t get it.”

  Gaia whirled on Fate. “So are you going to tell me? What am I missing?”

  “Gaia, you’ve always been a little hard on your people and paranormals,” Karma said. “We only wish you would be a little more understanding. It’s hard enough that you stick them with this all or nothing rule, never to reveal themselves to humans. Never? What about when they fall in love with one of them? Are they supposed to hide their secret forever?”

  “You have seen some of these relationships yourself,” Fate added. “They grow and unfold the way any relationship grows and unfolds. They are attracted to each other. They get to know each other. They get to like each other. Eventually, they come to love each other. And then what do you expect them to do? Lie to each other for the rest of their lives?”

  Mother Nature shrugged. “Couldn’t they just fall in love with their own kind in the first place?”

  Fate approached gingerly and put her arm around her sister, probably taking her immortal life in her hands, so to speak. “Love is love, my darling sister. I do create soul mates, and sometimes they’re unlikely matches. And sometimes if they’re too much alike, that causes problems. I try to find people who complement each other. Just as I was trying to do with you in the beginning of this ‘mission implausible.’ I was trying to find people whose strengths would help ameliorate your deficiencies and people whose faults would be supplemented by your strengths. I wasn’t really impressed with the results of that endeavor.”

  “Deficiencies? Fate, you know I don’t have much in the way of faults to be supplemented by a human or paranormal.”

  Fate and Karma burst out laughing.

  Mother Nature frowned. “What are you… Never mind. I’m not an idiot. I do have faults. I don’t like to admit it, since I’m clearly awesome. But you’re right, there are things I could do to improve myself. Such as my approach to problems. But you understand how frustrating my problems are, don’t you? I’m trying to save this planet while people are determined to destroy it! How would you deal with that? What if all your soul mates just refused to recognize their hunger for each other and went on a rampage against love?”

  “I do know what that’s like, Sister. It’s very upsetting. There are those who think romance indicates weakness. They couldn’t be more wrong. It takes real strength to put yourself out there and allow someone to know every part of you. The good, the bad, the ugly… Love usually brings out the beautiful and best in people. How crazy is it that some people just turn their backs on it because of their flawed thinking?”

  Gaia nodded. “I guess you do understand in a way. But you don’t have a partner. How do you cope without a companion or partner to share your frustrations with? How do you deal with the exact same thing you’re handling for others every day?”

  “Who says I am dealing with this alone?” Fate winked.

  “Oh? You’ve been holding out on me?”

  Fate smiled and shrugged. “There are a few little things you don’t know about me.”

  “Apparently so!” Karma said. “I didn’t even know about this.”

  “Fate, I really don’t think I can handle this whole process,” Gaia said.

  “Are you saying that humans and paranormals, the very beings you looked down upon, are able to do something you can’t?”

  Mother Nature clenched her fists, trying to hold in her frustration. She tried and tried until it exploded. “Gaaah!” A huge wind blew up and swirled around the mountain. A glider almost got caught in it and headed for the ground immediately, choosing a safe landing while the pilot still could.

  Fate crossed her arms. “I’ll leave you to contemplate your possible faults. And I hope you will learn there are some things about the lives of humans and paranormals that require a great deal of bravery. Sometimes, making oneself vulnerable is the hardest thing to do.”

  Gaia sank down onto her rock and waved her sisters off. “Go now. I need to think.”

  Chapter 9

  While Ruth was in her room, packing for her trip to Puerto Rico, Aaron paced across his own bedroom, ignoring the empty suitcase on his bed. Should he go too? Was he apt to run into a certain overly helpful deity there? Of course he should. His daughter needed him. Or did she? Her sister was also a doctor, and they were best friends.

  His mind wandered. He couldn’t forget the natural beauty and vulnerability of the goddess, nay, woman he now knew was Gaia herself. It was amazing that he’d even met her. The powerful goddess was intimidating without realizing it. He understood why so many were afraid of her and why she was lonely.

  He had to admit, he was lonely too.

  Since he couldn’t stop thinking about her, he had to question whether or not he might need that little heart-shaped plant’s cure too. No. He was not brokenhearted. And even if he was, he’d never try an untested new medicine. Not until it’s analyzed, compared to similar chemical formulas, and deemed safe. If the process lasted as long as he figured it would, time would take care of the sadness and loss.

  Ruth had been hinting she’d like to move to Puerto Rico permane
ntly, to be near Kizzy. She had come right out and asked Aaron, if she did, would he consider moving too?

  He was tempted. There wasn’t much to hold him to Massachusetts if his dear daughters were both in Puerto Rico. Also, there was the matter of the plants. Regulations wouldn’t allow him to take them off the island. That meant if he wanted to continue his work on the discovery of the century, he’d have to do it there.

  But with so many scientific requirements, could it be done? Was there a compounding pharmacy down there? Many businesses had been destroyed in the hurricane; he couldn’t be sure what was still up and running.

  “You haven’t started packing yet?”

  He jumped. He’d been so preoccupied, he hadn’t heard Ruth come in.

  “I—I don’t know how to pack for a month. I’m not sure I have enough clothing.”

  Ruth burst out laughing. “There’s such a thing as doing laundry—even if we have to find a river and beat it on a rock.” She chuckled and shook her head. “You really are hopeless, Dad.”

  Odd that she used that word. He felt hopeless sometimes…but never more than now.

  * * *

  “Is it safe to talk with you?” Fate’s voice asked.

  “No. That’s it! I’m done with internet dating,” Gaia announced to the ether.

  Fate popped in and patted Mother Nature on the shoulder. “There, there. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out with the basketball player. Let’s try something a little different.”

  Gaia crossed her arms. “I don’t know if I want to try anything at all.”

  Fate handed her a glass of white wine and instantly transported them both to a quiet terrace attached to a villa in Italy. “I’ve actually found someone for you myself. I think you’ll like him and vice versa. He’s an astronomer. A little older, but with that comes maturity. He’s a bit of a geek, as they say, but these days, it’s a compliment! He won’t run around on you. Plus he’s intelligent and loves the universe as much as you do.”

  Gaia scratched her head. “I admit, he sounds interesting. I think that’s the way we should’ve gone about it all along. Please, no more internet dating.”