by Sandra Marie
“I know I do.”
“Does being a pain in the ass know-it-all have anything to do with you planning parties?”
“Don’t get smart,” she said, pointing a finger at him while simultaneously trying not to laugh.
“Sorry.”
“Apology accepted; now why don’t you tell me what’s going on with the bar.”
“There’s nothing going on with the bar,” he said, wondering how the conversation just took this unexpected turn.
Her hands landed on her hips in her signature stance, and she tilted an eyebrow up. “Then why is half of it still under construction?”
“It’s not a half, only a quarter.”
“Potato patato. Doesn’t change the question.”
“I hit a minor speed bump.”
“Being?” She dragged the end of the word out for emphasis.
“I’d rather not talk about it.” The minute he told Lily May, she would tell Ashton and he still wasn’t sure he wanted to ask his brother for more money. If he decided Ashton was his last hope, then he would talk to Ashton when he was ready.
“Well, that’s fair, but you can either talk to me about it and let me help you, or you can speak to Ashton because he will start bothering you about it. I’ve been able to hold him off for now, but you know him. It’s only a matter of time before he’s on your doorstep wanting answers.”
Gavin let out a breath and slumped against the counter. Whether he was ready to speak with Ashton, it didn’t matter. Ashton had seen the condition of the bar and that wasn’t something he would ignore. He would go out of his way to figure out what the holdup was. If Lily May knew the situation, she’d be better able to help Gavin figure out how to handle Ashton, so even though he had reservations, he told her.
She nodded as he spoke, listening intently and continuing to work on her chicken parm dinner.
“So you see,” he said. “I’m stuck. Without the funds to do it I’m at a standstill. And if I ask Ashton, I’ll owe him even more money than I do. I’ll be lucky to even pay him back what I’ve already borrowed, and he will hold this over my head for the rest of our lives.”
“If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts, it would be Christmas every day.”
Gavin scratched his head. “That handbook would come in real handy right about now.”
“Oh heavens to Betsy! It means stop making excuses and ask your brother.”
“Is that what it means? Really?”
“Don’t make me hit you with this spatula,” she said, lifting it up and moving toward him.
He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay!”
“You’re going to talk to your brother then.”
“I’ll think about it.” He still wasn’t sure that’s what he wanted. Talking to Ashton would be an easy fix, he’d write him a check and he’d be done with it, but the money would always be a reminder to Gavin that once again he couldn’t do something on his own. He didn’t want to need Ashton to dig him out of a hole, Gavin was hoping he’d be able to do it himself.
“Stop thinking and just do it. If he would have kept thinking about whatever the heavens he was thinking about, do you think you two would be back on friendly terms again?” Before he could answer, she pushed on. “Absolutely not. It took me to drag him out of this apartment building and surprise him with a visit to your bar to get his head out of his booty. You two waste so much time thinking things over.”
“That’s not true. If I would have thought over the construction, I could have avoided this.”
“Here we go with the excuses again. If you would have taken the time to think it over, you wouldn’t have knocked down that wall, and you wouldn’t have known about the shoddy wires, putting you and your bar in serious danger. It was a blessing in disguise if you ask me and you shouldn’t think of it as anything else.”
“I’m sure Ashton won’t think of it that way.”
Lily May sighed. “Ashton buys buildings for a living. If anyone understands the unexpected nightmares that come with it, it’s him.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so. Perfect example. I used to have to hit my heater with a hammer to get the dang thing to work. He told me he would look into it. Fast forward two months, and now the entire building’s heating system has to be upgraded. One problem can open a door to many more, but you can’t focus on that. You have to focus on the problems as they arise, and I can tell you, ignoring it won’t make it go away. And quite honestly, I don’t like you staying in that building knowing about this, so either you tell Ashton or I will.”
He met her eyes with a desperate plea. “You wouldn’t.”
“You must be outside your mind if you think I wouldn’t when your wellbeing is concerned. I’ll give you a week to talk to him and in the meantime.” She grabbed a bright pink stack of Post-its and scribbled on it with a bedazzled pen. She swiped the paper from the stack and handed it to him. “Here’s Lauren’s number.”
It may have been a consolation prize, but Gavin didn’t care. He would take it for whatever it was worth.
“Just so you know. You being a stranger had nothing to do with me not giving you her number. I lied. The truth is Lauren just went through breakup, and I’m not sure she’s ready to date.”
He already knew this but he was curious why Lily May was willing to change her mind. “Then why are you giving me her number?”
“Because you’re a good guy, and Lauren deserves that.”
His chest warmed and expanded at her words. “Thank you, Lily May.”
“You can thank me by hiring me as the wedding planner to your wedding.”
He froze in place, eyes widening at the crazy talk coming out of her mouth. “Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself here?”
“Nope. I have a good feeling about you two.”
He held the bright pink Post-it up, looking at the number and remembering the brunette who captivated him for an entire evening. “Me too,” he said—though marriage was a little much—gave Lily May a kiss on the cheek, and headed out so he could make a phone call.
Lauren had a day off from the library and decided to stop by her grandparent’s house. The years hadn’t been as kind to them as she would like, and her grandmother was currently dealing with severe rheumatoid arthritis, which was weighing heavy on her mind since she could no longer do the things she loved like knitting. Lauren did her best to stop by as often as she could and try to lift her grandmother’s spirits. Afterall, everything she had in life was because of her grandparents.
Lauren never thought about what her life would’ve been if it wasn’t for them. Her parents cared more about partying than they did about her, and while it had left an ache in her heart, her grandparents’ constant love, devotion, and support helped to ease it.
She let herself in the front door and found her grandmother on the couch, watching her stories. “Hi, Grandma,” Lauren said loud enough so she could hear her over the TV.
“Sweetie!” Grandma exclaimed when she realized it was Lauren. Her brown eyes lit up. She quickly paused the TV and held her arms up. Lauren gave her a hug and a kiss on her aging cheek.
“How are you feeling today?” Lauren gave her a once over. She had a little more color in her cheeks than she did last time Lauren had seen her, and there was a little less tension around her eyes.
“Better. The doctor changed my medications.”
“Good.” It had been a case of trial and error, trying to find the right combination for all her ailments. “When’s your next appointment?”
“Next Tuesday.”
“Do you need me to drive you?” Lauren was lucky that her job was willing to work with her and make it possible to be there for her grandparents just as they had been there for her.
“Nope, your grandfather will take me.”
Lauren nodded, though she liked to be there, since neither one of her grandparents ever relayed the information properly, but it was just for a checkup, so s
he figured she could miss this one.
“If you change your mind and you need me to go, just call me and let me know.”
“Can you stop worrying? Now come. Sit down and tell me about your week.”
Gavin immediately popped into her head. She hadn’t seen him since the night at the bar, but after the book club chatter, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was crazy to think she was ready to start dating again. She and Dylan had broken up not even two weeks ago, but Gavin seemed to be infiltrating her thoughts more and more. She blamed Lily May for this. Lauren was perfectly content living her life, being blissfully unaware of how great a couple she and Gavin would make until Lily May had to push the issue. Now she wondered if he’d lay in bed with her while she read, holding her in his arms while he held his own book above them.
That book he had behind the bar was pretty worn, and she was curious to how many times he had read it. She was too busy looking at him to notice the title, and now she desperately wished she had. Knowing what type of books a person liked could tell a lot about them. Was he a sci-fi kind of guy? Non-fiction? Literary fiction? Thriller? Horror? He did find The Shining comment amusing, so maybe he was a Stephen King fan.
She mentally kicked herself, for not thinking to ask him. Of all the things they could have talked about that was the one subject she could have learned so much. It was also a subject that she would have been able to relate to most, and she wondered if she purposely geared the conversation away from it so Gavin wouldn’t learn too much about her.
She imagined them talking about books over a cup of coffee. An excited glow in his eyes as he told her about his favorite books. A smile played at her lips as she thought about those two perfect green eyes.
“What is going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Grandma asked.
Lauren waved her hand as if that would swipe away all thoughts of a green-eyed man. “Nothing. Thinking about one of my books.”
“With the way you’re looking must be a spicy one.”
“It is.”
“Well then, what are you waiting for? Break that puppy out and read it to me.”
Lauren had been reading to Grandma since she was a kid. It started with Clifford the Big Red Dog and had progressed to more provocative reads. Grandma especially loved the historical romances, and Lauren loved reading them to her, except when she’d compare the intimate scenes to Grandpa. There was only so much Lauren needed to know, and anything relating to her grandfather’s man bits was not one of them.
Lauren took out the book and gave a little backstory. Grandma relaxed into the couch and listened. Just like when Lauren read to the kids at the library, she made sure to use different voices for each character and play up the dramatics.
Twenty minutes and a couple chapters later, Grandma stopped her just as the earl and the duchess were about to confess their love for one another. Finally!
“Why do you want me to stop? It’s the good part.”
“I’m just wondering. Does it make you sad to read all these happily ever afters?”
Lauren met Grandma’s brown eyes. “No, why would it?”
“Because you and Dylan broke up.”
Lauren shook her head. “It was for the best. Trust me on that.”
Grandma smiled, but it was half-hearted; clearly there was something else on her mind.
“What is it?” Lauren asked.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t nothing me. I can see your lips parting like you want to say something, but you’re holding back.”
“Fine. I’m worried.”
“About me?” Lauren pointed at herself.
“No about the pope, of course about you.”
“But why?”
“Because I’m not getting any younger, and neither is your grandfather. We’re not always going to be around, and when I part this earth, I want to know that you’re not alone.”
“First of all, you’re seventy-four. It’s not like you’re in your nineties and going to die on me tomorrow.”
“I feel like I’m ninety with the way my health has been.”
“You aren’t, and you still have plenty of years left in you. Seventy is the new fifty.”
Grandma all but snorted. “I’d kill to go back to fifty. At least then I could open a jar and knit. Get some sexy time in without feeling like I look like an unraveled sheet of cellophane.”
Lauren held her hand up to stop the TMI assaulting her ears. “My point is you’re not going anywhere. Not yet anyway.”
“I will fight death at its door until I know that you are settled.”
Lauren smiled at the vision of her seventy-four-year-old grandma sparring off with the grim reaper. “As much as I love that scenario, settling down with someone won’t necessarily mean I’m settled. It’s the twenty-first century. I don’t need a man to make me happy.”
“No,” Grandma said. “You don’t. And I know that you can find happiness in whatever you do, but I want you to have someone to share that with. All of my greatest accomplishments were that much better because I got to share them with your grandfather. I had my very own cheerleader who rooted for me on the sidelines, waiting and willing to help me reach my dreams. And I know it’s an old timey thing, and girls are independent now, but I was independent too you know.”
Her grandmother was the first in her family to go to college and graduate; she became a book editor for one of the top publishing companies in the country and then gave it all up to have a family. Lauren didn’t want to discount any of her grandmother’s accomplishments, but their stories were different.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Grandma said. “You think I gave up my dreams.”
“I…” Lauren had never said it out loud but there was a part of her that always wondered why Grandma walked away from the hard work and dedication she had given to get to where she was.
“It’s all right because that’s what it appears as, but the truth is, your grandfather didn’t want me to quit my job. He wanted me to keep working, but I didn’t want to. It was my choice. I loved my job, but I loved my family more, and I was lucky that I was able to stay home.”
“Too bad my mom turned out to be a total nightmare.”
“Well.” Grandma tapped her hand. “Such is life. But before her spiral, I had some of the best years sitting on this very couch and talking to her about her day, braiding her hair and watching her grow before my very eyes. Those are the things I hold onto. And I wonder if you close yourself off to the possibility of a future with a man because of your parents especially your mother.”
Lauren arched an eyebrow not exactly sure what Grandma was implying.
“Despite her many faults, you loved her, god how you loved her, and then she abandoned you.”
Lauren remembered being a little girl, sitting on Grandma’s lap, crying and asking why her mommy didn’t want her. A girl that young didn’t deserve to know what true heartache felt like. She suppressed the tears pushing to the surface for her younger self and cleared her throat. “Her loss.”
“Absolutely.” Grandma took her hand and squeezed it tight, and offered her a reassuring smile. “But I know that it hurt and probably still does.”
“What does that have to do with me not having a boyfriend?”
“When our hearts are damaged, we do everything in our power to keep from ever feeling like that. I think you have had your heart locked up for so long that you don’t even realize it anymore.”
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not locking anything up.”
“Then tell me why didn’t it work with Dylan?”
She took a second and thought over the relationship and the final day when it all came to an end. “He didn’t like the fact that I read so much. He hated my books.” Lauren didn’t want to admit that her grandma was right especially since Lauren hadn’t seen the truth until now.
“Was it the books? Or the fact that you lost yourself in their pages and would never lose yourself in him.”
<
br /> “I guess it was a little bit of both,” she admitted.
“When you read your books, you open your mind to possibilities, do you not?” Grandma asked.
“Of course, that’s the best part of starting a book. The anticipation of what’s going to happen, discovering the characters and their traits that bring them from point A to point B.”
“Exactly. Now take yourself out of the pages; do you have the same anticipation in life? And if not how come? Life can be just as exciting as your books, if you only open yourself up to the possibilities.”
Grandma’s words hit Lauren deep in the gut. “I was not expecting to be sitting on Dr. Phil’s couch when I walked into the house today.”
Grandma laughed. “I have been watching a little more of him than usual.”
“It shows.”
Grandma took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “All I’m saying is you should think about what’s holding you back and why.”
“If I say I will, can we go back to the book?”
“Hell yes, it was the good part. I don’t know why you stopped in the first place.”
Lauren let out a loud laugh and shook her head. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“Luck has nothing to do with it, sweetie. Now read.”
A few hours later, Lauren walked out of her grandparent’s house and hopped into her car. She finally got to the end of the story and was sad she had to say goodbye. The characters in the books she read, even if she was only with them for a short time, became like friends to her. Grandma would tell her to make her own friends, but Lauren had plenty of friends. At least she thought she did…
Ginny, Olivia and Ashlynn were her friends, but the only reason they were friends was because they were roommates. If they never lived together, would Lauren have gone out of her way to introduce herself? Would she have be willing to make phone calls and plans and keep up the get-togethers if they didn’t live under the same roof? Now, she would, but that was only because they were already friends.
Maybe everyone was right. Maybe she needed to put the books down and let life surprise her the same way the plots in the books did. She didn’t expect to find a knight and shining armor, and she didn’t want that either. Sure, they were fun to read about, but in reality, Lauren just wanted someone who she could be comfortable with whether they were out on a date or staying in and cuddling on the couch. She wanted someone who she could talk to and most of all she wanted someone who would find her reading addiction adorable but who would also be interesting enough to get her to put the book down and be in the moment with him.
