Just as I pull up outside the doctor’s, Reli appears from inside. Her eyes puffy and red, her arms pulled tightly across her stomach as though she’s holding herself together. Her movements are slow as she walks toward my car. She gets in without saying a word and pulls the seat belt around her and buckles herself in.
I leave her be and drive home; I’ve never asked about the sessions she has. I have made it clear that if she wants to talk, I’ll listen. She pulls her knees up to her chest and turns her head to look out of the passengers side window.
When we get home, she goes straight to her room, closing the door behind her. This is a different take on what normally happens; she usually sits in the sitting room watching TV. The shower goes on so I decide against cooking tonight. I’ll order takeout. She loves Chinese; she hadn’t tried it before, and it broke my heart when she told me that. I order enough to feed a small army, knowing any leftovers I’ll bring to work and the team will eat it.
An hour later and she walks downstairs; she’s dressed in an oversized t-shirt and upon further inspection, I realize that it’s one of mine. I can’t help but smile. I relax knowing that she’s getting comfortable around me.
“Are you okay?” I ask as she stands in the doorway of the sitting room, her eyes on the food that I’ve laid out.
She shakes her head, her eyes filling with tears.
I move toward her, pulling her into my arms; the only time I usually hold her is a night. I'd love nothing more than to take this further as Michigan state has the legal age for sex at sixteen, but I couldn’t, no wouldn’t, do that to Reli. As much as I want her, she needs to heal first. I want her to know that I’m what she wants, and that she wants the connection between us and not out of obligation because I’ve helped her.
She wraps her arms around my stomach and buries her head into my chest, her tears soaking through my shirt. She’s shaking as sobs wrack through her body. I hold her until her tears subside.
When she quietens, I move toward the sofa and sit with her on my lap, just being the comfort that she needs. I don’t talk and neither does she; whatever happened in her session today has obviously hurt her.
“Thank you,” she whispers, holding me tighter before releasing me and moving to sit beside me.
“For what?” I ask, hating that she’s put distance between us.
“Being here for me. Holding me when the nightmares come. For just being you.” Her voice is soft and gentle. Her smile is bright and fucking beautiful, just like she is.
“You never have to thank me for that,” I growl and her eyes widen. “Sorry,” I say quieter, “But, Reli, you never have to thank me for being here for you. I want to be.”
She nods, her tongue sweeping her bottom lip. “"I, I urmm, I.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “I spoke to my counselor about you today.”
I’m shocked, one, that she’s telling me about this and two, that she’s talking to me with her doctor. “Okay, and? Did it not go well?”
"Yes and no.” She's silent for a beat. “Well, I told her about how kind you’ve been but that I’m still scared.” She lifts her eyes to mine and gives me the softest look I’ve ever received. “You don’t scare me; I’m scared that I’ll get attached and that Talia will find a way to ruin it.”
“Baby girl…”
She shakes her head. “I know you believe that you’re going to protect me. I can’t help this fear that I have.”
I understand that, the fear she has; it’s been ingrained in her for a while and until she can overcome it, there’s no way I can eradicate it for her. The only thing I can do is continue to be here for her. Showing her just how much she means to me. I know without a doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
“What did the doc say?”
“She asked me if we’d been intimate.” Her cheeks flame. Jesus, she’s so fucking beautiful. “I told her that we hadn’t and what you had said about me wanting to heal first.” She smiles. “My doctor thinks it’s a good idea. I do too, but I’m not sure how long it’s going to take. John, I can’t expect you to wait around forever.”
“I want you and not for just a quick fuck. I am thirty-three years old, Reli; you’re only eighteen, but I know what I want. I've screwed faceless women for two decades; I'm done with that shit. So yes, I’ll wait around forever if that’s what it takes."
"Why me?" she asks in a small voice.
"Because you're gorgeous, you're smart, you’re vulnerable, and you're a fighter." I smirk at her; she’s so fucking strong. She’s survived what that fucking bitch did to her, and she’s coming out the other end.
She shocks me by leaning forward and pressing her lips against mine. The softness of them almost has me losing my control; she opens her mouth slightly and instinctively I sweep my tongue in and brush against hers. The small moan she releases makes my dick strain against my pants. I slant my head and kiss her deeper and harder. Showing her just how much I want her.
She moans again and I pull back; she whimpers as I do. "No, baby girl.” I tell her and I see her lust filled eyes along with the just kissed, pink, puckered lips and all I want to do is pull her to me and do it again. I can’t. We’re meant to be going slow.
“John?” The confusion in her voice fucking stings.
“God, I want you, Reli. I fucking do. But we agreed that you need to heal.” I run my thumb over her lips and she relaxes under my touch. “You’re doing so well; I don’t want to do anything to set you back.”
She nods. “Okay, but what about…” She trails off, her gaze on her fingers that are on her lap. She swallows, her throat bobbing. “Can we kiss?”
I close my eyes; she’s fucking killing me. “Yes, baby girl, if you’re comfortable with that. Then yes, we can kiss. Did you talk to your doctor about it?” She nods and I smile. Good, at least she’s thinking about there being an us. “Eat,” I tell her and place a chaste kiss against her lips.
Her body relaxes further as she reaches for food. “You’re a good man, John Princeton,” she tells me as she gathers food on her plate.
“Thank you, baby girl,” I reply as I stare at her. God, how did I get so lucky to find her again?
Thirteen
Reli
Four Weeks Later
I stare at John’s back as he moves toward the door. Things between us have been getting better. We still only just kiss; he won’t let anything else happen and I’m actually grateful for that. We still have separate rooms and he climbs into bed with me whenever I have nightmares, which aren’t as many as before. I get them maybe twice a week now, and I’m actually able to sleep deeply because I know that John is here to keep me safe.
I’m in love with him. I know that for sure. The man is amazing and has treated me with so much respect and kindness, even after finding out about the abuse. I still haven’t told him about the worst thing yet, and I’m scared that he’s going to think badly of me. My counselor tells me that he won’t, that he’ll see it just as she does and that it was more torture that Talia inflicted on me, but I’m not so sure.
Today I’m meeting with his family. I’m nervous; I know that they all know about the things Talia has done to me and I hate that they do. When people know that you’ve been abused, they look at you differently. They see a victim and I’m trying my hardest to get over what’s happened, but as soon as someone gives me a pitying look it sends me back to that headspace I’ve been working hard to get out of.
He’s talked about our families, his and mine, and for the first time in years I feel closer to my parents than I ever have, even though they are no longer living. His mom and dad were my parents' best friends, they were a major part of our lives, and yet when dad passed, I lost them. Having John talk about them makes me feel safe and at ease; he’s given me something I never thought I’d have again, the feeling of having them with me.
Voices grow louder, and I tense when Markus and Sharon walk into the kitchen. I told John that I wanted to cook tonight; I thought t
hat it would keep me busy and keep my nerves at bay. It hasn’t, but I can hide in here under the pretense of cooking if things get too hard.
“Oh my darling.” Sharon gasps as soon as she sees me and I glance at John, who’s watching us closely. She rushes toward me and pulls me into her arms. “I’m so happy that you agreed to see us.”
Oh God, I was so scared about meeting them again that I didn’t think about how they were feeling. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, the guilt at keeping them at bay hitting me hard. I fight back the tears.
“Don’t apologize, I understand. I just wanted to give you this,” she tells me as she tightens her arms around me. “I didn’t know if anyone had given you one.”
“Your son gives amazing hugs,” I tell her quietly, not wanting to be overheard.
She pulls back and there’s a wonderful smile on her face; it’s genuine as it reaches her eyes. “Does he now? I’m glad that you have him.”
My anxiousness starts to subside. “I really care about John; he’s been wonderful. You’ve raised an amazing man.”
“Thank you,” she says proudly. “I hope that all of my sons find someone as sweet as you, Yoreli.”
Markus pushes past Sharon and sweeps me up into a huge hug, lifting me off my feet as he holds me close to him.
“Dad, careful; her back’s still not right,” John says and he’s right. My back is still sore, not as much as it was and the doctor tells me that I shouldn’t need surgery; I no longer need the injections I had been getting.
He sets me back on my feet but still holds me. “Sorry. How are you doing, Yoreli? Really?”
“I’m getting there. I’m doing okay,” I reply honestly.
“I’m so sorry, so damn sorry. Your dad would be so fucking pissed at me for letting you down. I let him down too.”
“You didn’t. You had no idea what was happening.” No one should feel guilty about what happened; they weren’t to know. It’s the way Talia wanted it.
When Markus releases me, he moves to stand next to Sharon, arms go around me from the back and I instantly know who it is. My body melts into his; it’s as though we’re made for each other. “You okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, your parents are so nice.”
“They’ve been worried about you. Are you ready to meet my brothers?” He chuckles when I tense beneath him. “They’re going to love you.”
I hope so.
I take a deep breath and wait for his brothers to descend into the kitchen.
Their smiles are enough to make me feel at ease. I shouldn’t have put off seeing them.
The tip of the blade digs in further into my neck, I know that it's only a matter of time before she nicks the skin and I'll start bleeding. This is new; she's never played with knives before. I didn't think blood play was her thing, but I'm not even sure what her thing is anymore.
"Yoreli, you're tenser than usual." She laughs. "You're scared; I can feel your body quivering beneath my touch."
I can't say anything, I don't want to say the wrong thing. I'm paralyzed by fear.
She moves the knife down my body, almost as if she's caressing me. "You're going to love this," she tells me, a glint of mischief in her eyes.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." I cry out as the knife breaks my skin, "Stop!" I beg as tears fall, but she continues, making her way up to my breasts.
Her laughter drowns out my sobs. "Oh, Yoreli, you should know me better than this by now. You don't tell me what to do. I'm the one that is in charge, not you."
I nod, the tears still falling. I'm scared to look at my chest to see what she's done. Blood trickles down my body, and I cringe as her tongue snakes out and licks it away.
"You're going to be a good girl while we're gone, aren't you?" She runs the knife down my body again.
I nod as a whimper escapes me.
"Good. If you misbehave, I'll find out and you will be punished."
"I'll be good," I promise, my voice just above a whisper.
Her smile can only be described as sinister. "Excellent." She pushes the knife further into me, not far enough to do any damage but enough so that I'll have a scar.
The bed dips as she moves, the clattering of the blade as it hits the floor sends relief throughout my body. When Talia straddles me, I tense; what the hell is she going to do now? Her lips cover the cut she’s just made on my body and she sucks. The sound of her drinking my blood makes the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
She rains kisses up toward my breasts. I flinch when she begins biting my nipples. “Please,” I beg, wanting her to stop, needing her to end this. I close my eyes as she gets off me, surprised that she’s done as I’ve asked.
Her laughter makes me cringe. “Oh, Yoreli.” She tuts. “Haven’t I told you that I decide what happens, not you? You begging just makes me want to punish you.”
I hear her moving around but don’t open my eyes. I’m scared of what I’ll see, what she has planned.
Buzzing sounds; shit, she has that thing back. My traitorous body reacts in ways I don’t want it too. My nipples pebble and heat pools in my stomach. I press my thighs together, not wanting Talia to know how much she’s affecting me.
“Oh, Yoreli, this isn’t for you.” She laughs as she climbs onto the bed. “This is for me. I know how much you enjoy watching me.” She climbs onto the bed, her laughter gone as she begins to moan, the vibrations muffled as she begins to fuck herself with the vibrator.
The ragged breathing along with the erratic movements tell me that she’s getting close. Her hand grips my neck and it’s only a matter of time before it’s lights out for me.
“Give it to me, Yoreli,” she begs as her hands tightens around my neck, taking my breath with it. Her moans get louder and she cries out as she comes.
Once she's past the aftershocks, she moves down the bed. Her mouth goes to my pussy. Her teeth begin nipping at my clit. It doesn’t take long before I come. Moving back up the bed, she kisses me hard, tasting myself off of her lips and tongue, while her hand goes to my throat constricting the windpipe. Darkness comes through lack of oxygen.
“Baby girl, wake up.” John’s voice pulls me from the nightmare. His arms tight around me as he rocks me. “You’re safe.”
I know I am. John is my safe haven. “I’m okay,” I whisper, as I grip hold of his shoulders and breathe deeply, letting the last memories of my nightmare slip away.
“I’m so damn sorry. I wish I could take away the nightmares.” He sounds hoarse, as though he’s close to crying.
“I’m okay, I promise.” The nightmares only hold me down for as long as I’m having them and then John’s here pulling me back from the darkness.
“Tell me what’s going through your mind,” he murmurs and I tense up. “Baby girl?”
I take a deep breath and tell him what I’ve been holding back from him.
Fourteen
John
"I think I'm broken,” she tells me as she pulls away from me.
I don’t usually let her put distance between us, as I need her to know that I’m here for her to lean on, but this time I let her go. She obviously needs some space, but I’m shocked when she intertwines her hand with mine. Things between us have been going well; she initiates things a lot, she’s slowly coming into her own. She’s more comfortable in her own skin. The nightmares are lessening, just a couple a week instead of every night. She’s also able to claw herself back from the nightmares quicker with each one.
“Why do you think that?” I don’t think she’s broken, nowhere even close.
She glances at our entwined hands; I see the fear flash in her eyes.
"Reli, listen to me," I demand as I release her hands. My fingers tilt her chin so that she’s looking at me. "I will never harm you, Reli. I'm not an asshole; well, not to you anyway. I want you to be honest with me. Tell me what’s going on."
She bites her lip. “I’m scared that you’ll think differently of me.”
“That isn’t going to happen,”
I tell her fiercely; there’s nothing she can say that I’d ever see her any other way than perfect. I kiss her lips and smile at her. She has wide eyes but melts into my kiss. “Tell me, baby girl; what’s going on?”
She nods. "I only come when she hurts me. I don't think I'll ever be normal." Her cheeks flame as she shrugs, acting as though she’s not bothered by the statement she’s just made.
I tilt my head to the side and glance at her; she’s being serious. What the fuck? I look to the ceiling and beg for fucking mercy. I fight my dick’s response to her talking about orgasms. "You're killing me,” I murmur. "Reli, have you had sex before?"
Please say no. I don’t know why I’m wishing that. I’ve never been interested in virgins before.
She frowns in confusion so I elaborate. "I mean other than with that fucking bitch?"
"No."
Relief washes through me. Thank fuck. "So how about we cross that bridge when we get to it?" I watch as her eyes flare with hope.
"Do you do this with every woman you meet?" she questions and then glances away from me. She’s jealous.
I hide my smile, loving that she’s jealous. "No. The moment I saw you at your father’s funeral I knew I wanted you. The moment we locked eyes at the store, I knew I had to find you. Noticing your bracelet was the perfect reason to make that happen. Watching that woman hit you made me want to protect you. Seeing you in pain intensified every single thing I was feeling and wanting. To answer your question: no, I've never done this to a woman before.”
I lean down and kiss her again, harder and more passionate than before. I want her to know that it’s all her. She’s the only one I want. She moans into my mouth as our tongues clash together. God, those fucking whimpers of hers drive me crazy. They make me think about what it would be like to sink inside of her. Would she moan or whimper?
I close my eyes and pull back from the kiss. My dick is fucking hard as stone and I don’t want to scare her. When I open my eyes, I see her face flushed and her eyes wide as she looks down at my lap where my dick is visible beneath my shorts. “It’s my reaction whenever you’re around me.”
Saving Reli Page 7
