With a smile, I scoop her up in a hug, making an oof noise. “You’re getting so big, Hazel. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold you like this.”
Hazel giggles. “Daddy says I am strong.”
Laird stares at us, not saying a word.
“You are strong and so pretty,” I agree. “Are you excited about Kindergarten in the fall?”
“Yup.” She leans back in my arms, so trusting. Her world is secure and her father will never leave her. Knight’s simply not that kind. Laird... wasn’t that kind either. I knew it in my soul, but he liked to reassure me anyway.
However, this version of Laird...
“Morning, Laird. How are you?” Caine holds out his hand, but Laird doesn’t take it. “My morning is great. Thanks.” He turns his attention to me. “I’m leaving at the end of the week.”
“So soon?”
Laird glares at me.
“The Marines will be lucky to have you.” I bury my nose in Hazel’s hair. She smells like the child I should be holding right now. My mouth trembles. “Promise you’ll be safe.”
“Can’t promise that.” Caine looks so grim as he says this. “Bootcamp was brutal, but I made it through. Plus, Knight’s been a huge help and my sister is barely letting me out of her sight while I’m here. It helps.” He slices his gaze to Laird. “Your family has treated me like I’m one of them.”
Laird takes a step closer to me. I don’t know if I should continue to be insulted by his lack of faith in me or happy that he’s jealous. Except I hate jealousy. It breeds distrust.
“Sounds like you have all the help you need,” my husband says, then he takes me by my arm. “Let’s go to Gramma’s.”
“Gramma is your mother,” I inform him in a low voice.
“Good to know.”
I’m not sure if he’s comforted by the news, or if that makes everything worse. Does he think that his family was trying to set me up with Caine?
“Lead the way, love,” he says.
Caine goes to the opposite side of me. “I’ll take Hazel. She’s too heavy for you.”
“I think my wife is strong enough to carry a child,” Laird counters, but I give Hazel to Caine anyway. He loves his niece and doesn’t have much time left with her before he leaves.
“Caine, would you please take Hazel back.” I blow a kiss to my niece. “I’ll be right there, Hazel. Promise. I need to speak with Uncle Laird, first.”
She gives me a thumb’s up. “See ya.”
I wait until Caine and Hazel disappear around the next curve in the trail before I speak again. “We need to set some ground rules.”
“Yeah and number one should be all men but me are off limits.”
“Number one should be that we communicate our concerns in private, not let the entire world know our business,” I say firmly. “Number two is that you have to stop pretending you’re jealous of me when I know damn well you’re not.”
Okay, so I might have tossed that out there to see what he says. I should have said that I wouldn’t tolerate his jealousy.
“I’m not pretending, Ophelia.” Laird’s jaw works. “I’m unreasonably jealous and its driving me nuts.”
Welcome to the club, I want to say. “Learn to be reasonable,” I snap. This isn’t like me. We never argued like this or made accusations that left the other feeling less than in our relationship.
He doesn’t respond at first, just stares at me. Then, “I’ll try.”
“Thank you.” I march ahead of him, remember that he doesn’t know where he’s going and pivot to take him by the hand. Our fingers fit perfectly together. I tremble at the rightness of it, wondering and hoping against hope that he can feel it too. “Follow me.”
“You didn’t have to come back for me, you know,” he says after we plunge head.
I glance over at him. “We never left each other behind.”
LAIRD’S MOTHER BURSTS into tears as soon as we walk through the door. She wraps him in a tight hug, and he doesn’t stop her. In fact, he makes an effort to hug her right back, but he’s not entirely comfortable with the situation.
His ocean eyes meet mine, pulling me in like the tide.
I take a step toward him, wanting to rescue Laird, but he gives me a slight shake of the head, so I pay attention to Hazel instead. She’s happy we’re all here, so many of her aunties, uncles, and cousins in one place. Laird loved being with his family, too. He loved people, loved talking and getting to know about them.
His brother Barron wanted him to come work for King Global Industries, be the spokesman for the company because people couldn’t help but respond positively to him. Young, old, men and women all were drawn to his charisma. To that sparkle in his eye, to the warmth in his smile, but he was mine and saved his attention for me and me alone.
Covertly, I watch this wary version of Laird. While he looks like the man I married in so many ways, I can tell that he’s not warming to the crowd of people. He’s tense, and the set of his jaw is so tight, it looks as though it’s about to shatter.
But still he has an ego, an image to maintain. I know he doesn’t want to be viewed as fragile or uncertain. He doesn’t want their pity any more than he wants mine.
Only, he hasn’t shared that with them. Maybe with Duke and certainly with Knight, but the rest... sensing he needs rescuing, I wait until I can make my move.
As soon as there is a break in conversation, I make my way to Laird. “Let me take you on a tour.” I turn my attention to Miss Jane Ellen. “Would you mind if I showed Laird his old room.”
“Of course not,” she says, her eyes filled with understanding and sadness. She can tell as good as I can that the stranger in her living room is just that, a stranger in her son’s body. “Take your time, honey. We’ll get lunch going.”
Laird eyes me as once again, I take the lead and get him away from his siblings. “A tour?” he asks.
“Yes, unless you’d rather leave, but I think we should say goodbye to your momma first.”
He shakes his head, a sad smile on his lips. “I don’t want to upset her any more than I already have.”
“It’s not your fault.” I sigh thickly. “We’re all in a situation that none of us know how to navigate.”
“My family’s in shipping, has been for generations. It should come naturally.”
My eyes widen as I turn to him, excitement building. “Did you just remember that?”
A grin pushes up the corners of his mouth. “Actually, I did. I knew the family business, of course, but not that we were sailors.”
Impulsively, I hug him. “This is wonderful. I’m so happy for you.”
He pats my back, not hugging me in return. “I’m happy for me, too.”
My cheeks heat and I quickly let him go, then point to my right. “Up those stairs and third door on the left is yours. I’ll leave you alone so you can... have some time to yourself.”
Before he can answer, I dash to the back door, flying out of there like the devil is on my heels. I’ve had enough of Laird’s rejection and unreasonable actions based on even more unreasonable emotions to last me for a month for a lifetime.
WHEN I ARRIVE AT HOME, I half expect Laird to burst through the front door, demanding to know why I left suddenly. It’s not an unreasonable thing to expect since he’s been popping up at unexpected moments.
At least Caine didn’t follow me home.
Bringing Hazel to me is one thing. Showing up uninvited is quite another.
After splashing my face with cold water to help cool off, I decide not to waste the rest of my day by worrying over Laird, or by expecting him or any other person to show up. They know my crafting hours are sacred and refrain from stopping by, or calling and texting until after four.
I get lost in my work, in the facets of the gems and the gleam of the gold and silver metals as I create bracelets and rings for clients. On good days, I can make two bracelets and two rings, depending on the complexity of the design.
On bad days..
. I can only get through one to two pieces.
Today... today is an okay day.
I finish up the piece that I’d attempted to work last night and prep the packaging. When I’m done, I change into my bathing suit and slather on sunscreen before grabbing a towel and my phone, then I take the path from the back of the house to the sound.
Our houseboat is secured at the end of the pier. Memories of Laird overwhelm me, and it’s all I can do to stay standing.
I place my things into a neat pile and dive in the warm water. I burst through the surface, letting the sun shine on my face while I banish every bad thought from my brain. When we were younger, I would pretend that I was a mermaid and Laird was the prince I saved from drowning, just like in the movie.
Only now I feel more like the one who’s drowning... but I have no one to save me.
Chapter Twelve
Laird
I STAND IN THE MIDDLE of my old room, a shrine to the boy who grew up here. There are trophies galore, posters of what to be local bands, and paintings of the beach in different seasons. Model ships line shelves, along with books by Jules Verne, interspersed with pictures of me with my siblings... and of course, Ophelia.
Always Ophelia. Nearly every picture has her by my side.
Picking up a frame from the wooden desk, I study our image. I’m a sweaty mess in my football uniform, my hair sticking up in places while my arm is loosely draped around Ophelia’s shoulders. We’re both smiling, but there’s something about hers that makes think she’s holding back. That she’s not quite sure she belongs at my side.
My stomach flips, and I put it back.
With her pale as moonlight skin, red lips, and black as night hair, she possesses an ethereal quality about her in every picture I find. There are a couple more stuffed in drawers, but they’re not X-rated. Rather, they are of her in bed, fully clothed. In one, she’s laughing, her arms spread wide as if the entire world brings her joy.
In the next, she has crooked her finger at the photographer—me, of course—to come to her. I’m pretty sure that I eagerly complied with her request.
There’s a knock on my door. I look up, fully prepared to find my mother there or one of my siblings. To my ever disappointment, it’s Caine.
I say nothing and wait for him to spill his guts. People don’t usualy like silence. They find it unsettling and tend to fill it in with unnecessary words or confessions.
“About earlier,” he begins. “I wasn’t exactly honest when I said Hazel wanted Ophelia. I prompted her. In my crappy defense, I was worried about Lia and wanted to check on her.”
“Ophelia,” I correct. “Better yet, Mrs. King to you.”
Caine cocks a brow. “I’ve known her too long to be so formal.”
“You’ve known her long enough to fall for her.”
He has the good sense to at least pretend to be embarrassed. “She’s easy to love, but I am not the man for her. However, you might not be either.”
“That’s for her to decide.”
Caine laughs. “Like you’ll allow that.”
A part of me rises to his challenge. “You’re right. I won’t allow that. Best of luck to you in the Marines, soldier,” I say just to piss him off. I know that Marines hate to be called soldiers and vice versa. I remember Knight tell me that once in an email that I read while sitting at my desk in this room.
Holy shit.
Ophelia was right, being here is making me remember things.
“You’re not going to make me mad, Laird.” He shrugs. “I’m not the type. But I what I will do for you is get out of the way. For now. But don’t think I won’t be waiting around for you to fuck up. I get leave when I’m done and you can bet your ass, I’ll be driving straight to her.”
I push down the unreasonable jealousy that makes me see green and red. “Why don’t you find a woman who isn’t in a relationship?”
“When I first met Lia, she wasn’t in one. You were dead.”
I clench my jaw, my fists balling up of their own accord. “Get out of my house.”
“Yeah, your mom has basically adopted me and since this isn’t your house, I’ll stay as long as I like.” Caine flashes a shit-eating grin. “Later, King. I don’t plan on being a stranger when I get back... unlike you.”
He’s not worth it. He’s not worth it.
“Whatever floats your boat.” I turn my back, effectively dismissing him. He means nothing to me, less than nothing, and I’m not worried about what he’ll do.
But he is right. I am a stranger to my wife while he’s familiar, maybe even comforting to her. I don’t believe Ophelia is guilty of anything, or Caine for that matter, other than pursuing my wife.
Perhaps I should try that.
Perhaps I should go to a therapist first. That seems like the reasonable thing to do. Ophelia wants me to be reasonable, and good grief, I sound like a broken record.
I go in search of Knight, finding him outside. He’s sitting by himself, thank God, on a bench that faces the pounding waves of the ocean. A warm breeze blows in from the sound side. Seagulls cry out, searching for food while smaller birds dart into the surf to find their lunch.
This all seems very familiar to me.
“Did we normally have talks out here?” I ask, sitting beside him.
“Here or over there.” He jerks his head to one side. “Log’s missing. Guess a storm took it away. Do you remember any of our conversations?”
“No, just the feeling that this was familiar, that this was something you and I specifically did.”
He smiles. “You had a lot of questions about things that you thought I had the answers to.”
“Not Duke?”
“That happened later, after I joined the Army and couldn’t be there for you anymore.” He stretches out his legs. His legs are tan, but his feet are paler. “Swear to... don’t say shit about my feet.”
“Wasn’t going to say a thing.” Luckily, I got a lot of exercise in the ocean. For some reason my brain and muscles remembered how to surf. How to snorkel and even how to dive. But I couldn’t remember my name, my favorite food, or my age. “Except, I want to make an appointment with your therapist.”
“That’s awesome.” He clears his throat, tamping down his excitement. “I mean, I can do that for you.”
“I’d like to move back home, too.”
Knight gives me a sharp look. “What about your wife?”
I fix my gaze on the ocean, at the way the sunlight scatters across the waves. “I think she’s better off without me right now.”
“You might want to talk that over with her.”
“She thinks I should do it.”
“Ophelia thinks you should leave her.” He makes a noise of disbelief. “I find that very hard to swallow.”
No, but at this point, I think she’d be happy if I left her alone. “She thinks I should do what’s best for getting my memory back.”
“That’s... surprising—not about getting your memory back, but...” He smacks me on my back. Harder than necessary. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I am,” I say with more confidence than I feel. “But just so you’ll feel better, I’ll tell Ophelia when I get my things from her house.”
Knight stands, coming into my line of vision. “This could backfire, you know. Nothing is guaranteed.”
“Look, I’m the one with the fucked up brain, not Ophelia. She’s just...” I search for the right words.
“She’s just the wife who waited all the years for you to come home,” Knight supplies, pissing me off.
“Yeah, well, she didn’t get her husband back. She got me and I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore.” I glare at him. “You of all people should understand that.”
“You of all people should know what it’s like to be alone,” he says.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
My brother gives me a look. “It means... forget it.” He walks off, shaking his head and muttering u
nder his breath about stupid fucker.
No one else bothers me after he leaves and I’m content to sit there, staring at the ocean that took me away from Castle Beach.
It’s not like I’m fit for company. I don’t want to talk to anyone else, defend my choices, or have them question my decisions.
THE NORTH STAR APPEARS by the time my mother joins me. I’m no longer sitting but leaning against one of the cedar posts that hold up the pergola. Tiny lights wrapped around the beams of wood illuminate us both.
“They’re on a timer,” she says by way of greeting. “Are you hungry? I made your favorites.”
“What are those?” I ask gently. I truly want to know what the old me liked.
She smiles at me, familiar eyes crinkling at the corners. Objectively, Jane Ellen King is a beautiful woman, fit looking for any age, but there’s a wariness there. Just like in the pictures I saw of Ophelia.
“When you were little, grilled cheese and ham. Later, fried shrimp, and before the storm carried you away, Ophelia’s she-crab soup.” She gestures to the house. “I can’t promise that my recipe is as good as hers, but a mother tries.”
That gets a laugh out of me. Plus, it’s the least I can do for her. “All that sounds amazing. I’ve had nothing but liquid food and then later, lots of hospital food.” I take her by the arm, placing her hand on my bicep and covering it with my free hand. “I think they all have the same menu.”
“I take it the food was not like home.”
“Actually, it was bland, and on Fridays... fish.”
She laughs, the sound musical as it warms my soul. “You never were a fan of fish. Only shrimp and crab, I’m afraid.”
We walk down a stone walkway, solar lights illuminating our path. She doesn’t press me for small talk or any kind of talking for that matter.
“I’d like to stay here for a while.”
“I should hope so.” I can hear the smile in her voice, but I don’t think I’ll make her very happy when I clarify my statement.
“No, I mean, I want to live here with you until I get my memories back. I plan to make an appointment with Knight’s therapist, too.” I don’t want her to get the wrong impression of me. I have no desire to live here permanently, or simply wait for something to trigger my memories. “Then when I’m done, I can...
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