Noah sent a group text to Everett and me earlier, asking if we’d be up for dinner at Mangias to discuss the case. Of course, we said yes. Everett has always been up for whatever sleuthing adventure I tossed his way. I don’t think I could have solved half the cases I did without him.
Everett and I drive out to Mangias together. It was only a little over an hour ago I closed the bakery, but that afforded me enough time to freshen up and feed Pancake and Waffles their Fancy Beast dinners.
We get out of Everett’s expensive car and head up to the front door of our favorite Italian restaurant located right here on Main Street across from the bakery.
Everett looks devastatingly handsome tonight, and I might just have to tell him one more time for good measure.
“Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look tonight?” I ask just as he swings open the door to the establishment and a blast of mouthwatering scents hit us at the very same time—a perfect marriage of garlic bread and thick, sweet marinara sauce. I’m not sure how it came to be, but I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to the pizza they serve here.
“Only ten times, Lemon. And yes, I’m counting. It sounds to me you’re having a bout of buyer’s remorse.”
“What?” I force a laugh from my throat. “I do not have buyer’s remorse. Partially because I had no idea I was shopping at the time.” It’s true. It was sort of an ambush wedding—no fault of Noah’s, of course. We were simply going undercover, investigating Pastor Gaines of all people during yet another homicide case.
“Good,” Everett flatlines as he nods to a table with Noah and two women, Cormack and—Naomi? “Then you won’t mind what’s about to unfold.”
We head over and exchange polite hellos. I shoot a disparaging look to Noah for his inability to rid himself of what I think I should dub as the Featherby Disaster.
Naomi’s face lights up as soon as she sees Everett. “There you are!” She pulls him down next to her and plants a wet one on his cheek.
My jaw unhinges at the sight.
Everett’s lips curl in my direction. “I have a date.”
“A what?” I don’t mind at all the curt inflection in my voice.
But before he could say a word, Alex stalks over from a table next to us where I find Lily, Keelie, and Bear offering a meager wave in this direction. Bear is the sandy-haired blond who cheated on me in high school and now owns his own construction company.
“What’s this?” Alex and his bombastically large muscles look more than mildly perturbed by Everett and Naomi, and suddenly the picture is growing a little clearer. I think. “I thought you and I were having a dinner date?”
Naomi flashes those icy blue eyes. “We were, right up until you informed me that Lily would be joining us. So I did the only thing I could think of. I found a date of my own.” She pulls Everett in close. “One that I don’t have to share with anyone.”
Noah groans, “Lottie, why don’t you come sit by me in the safe zone?”
“Yes, Lou Lou.” Cormack pats the spot next to her, and farthest from Noah, but I choose to rebel against her wishes and sit on the other side of him instead.
“And how is my husband this evening?” I couldn’t help it. If Everett gets a dinner date, I get mad and get myself a spouse. It only seems fair.
“Better now that my beautiful wife is here.” Noah leans over and dots a kiss to my cheek and my insides bisect with heat with the simple action.
Cormack clears her throat as she looks at Noah. “Okay. I can see you’re still upset about that little stunt I pulled yesterday.”
My lips twist as I examine her. “If you’re about to confess to a murder, be aware of the fact this table is full of witnesses.”
She glances to the other end of the table where Naomi and Alex continue to bicker. Everett looks as if he’s trapped between a rock and a hardened Naomi. I’d feel sorry for him, but since he decided it would be fun to blindside me, I decide he’s receiving his due.
“I’m not confessing to anything.” Cormack leans in. “Besides, Lucinda, Noah is all but poised to throw the book at your mother. I can see why you’re so full of vim and vinegar. It’s part of the reason the Big Boss here is going along with your little charade. Noah explained it all to me.”
My brows hike a notch his way. “Care to explain it to me?”
His mouth opens, and I hold up my hand.
“On second thought, let’s save some fun for later.”
Naomi gives Everett’s cheek a pinch. “I agree,” she says, jumping out of her seat. “I’ve decided to share a quick bite at the next table.” She leans in close to Everett once again. “Save a goodnight kiss for me, big boy.”
Alex growls at Everett, and suddenly I’m fearing for those pearly white teeth.
Everett wastes no time scooting in toward me. “Let’s talk about the case.”
“Yes,” I’m quick to agree. “Did you see anything on the security footage that could lead to the killer?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary. But I’m still reviewing it. And the body is still unclaimed at the morgue. We have no clue how to get in contact with his family or if he’s got any.” Noah takes a breath. “Did you find out the name of that woman?”
Everett pulls out his phone. “Thought you’d never ask.”
“What name?” I ask, but no one seems to notice. “Hey?” I’m more than amused by this criminal based camaraderie. “Can I just say how much I love the way you’re working together? And why exactly are you working together?”
Noah quickly peruses his menu. “He’s got a guy.”
“You’ve got a guy?” I ask Everett as he presses those baby blues my way.
“I’ve got a guy.”
Cormack snaps her fingers at the nearest waiter. “And I’ve got an appetite.”
We put in an order for a large “everything” pizza, breadsticks, and a round of drinks before Everett gets right back to looking at his phone.
“So who’s this guy?” I’m suddenly intrigued by this new investigative side of Judge Baxter.
“It’s an old acquaintance that I run into every now and again down at the courthouse.”
My eyes enlarge. “Run into him? As a defendant?”
“Details.” His cheek flickers with a smile of its own before he turns to Noah. “Her name is Madeline Underwood.”
“Who’s Madeline Underwood?” I look from Everett to Noah, but they seem to be having a nonverbal conversation of their own.
Cormack scoffs. “I know Maddie.” She averts her eyes and all breathing stops at the table.
Noah perks to attention, offering his stalker her due. “You know this woman?”
“If she’s the same Madeline Underwood that belongs to my parents’ country club, I do. I went to school with her daughter, Melody.” She rolls her eyes and wiggles her body as she says her name. “She’s such a pest. She had a propensity to follow me around wherever I went. She was harder to get rid of than head lice.”
Noah and I exchange a glance.
Cormack is worse than head lice. She’s essentially scabies because she gets under your skin.
Everett raps his knuckles against the table. “We need to talk to her. Can you help us do that?”
She grunts as she looks to the ceiling. “The Denim and Diamonds Charity Event is in two days. She won’t miss it. She’s on the board. The board has to show for every major event. It’s mandatory.”
“Is that at the country club, too?” I ask as I do my best to type the information into my phone.
“Nope. It’s at my mother’s house. She hosts every year. There’s champagne and canapés and a huge silent auction, so if you plan on going be prepared to bid your wallets away.”
“Done,” Noah says as he looks to Everett and me, and we nod in agreement. He turns to Cormack. “So what do you know about her?”
Our food arrives, but not one of us blinks as we wait for Cormack to spill the dirty details.
“Wealthy woman, beautiful. Widower.”
I look to Noah. “Wait a minute—what did you know about her that had you digging for her name? Spill it, Fox, if you know what side your matrimonial bread is buttered on.”
Noah shoots Everett a wry look. “I asked him to find out the name of Stephen Heartwood’s wife and that’s what he came up with.”
I gasp so hard I nearly inhale every olive right off that pizza. “He was married?”
Noah shrugs. “According to legal documents, this woman is still actively listed as his spouse.”
Cormack moans through a mouthful of pizza. “She married again. That’s right. I don’t know to whom, though. She was on her fifth or sixth husband.”
“Wow. I can’t fathom being with that many men.” And just like that, my man mathematics gets going and soon I’m itemizing—Bear, Curtis, Noah, Everett. “Okay, never mind.”
Everett’s chest rumbles with a laugh. “Don’t worry, Lemon. I have ways of making you forget other men exist.”
Cormack nearly chokes. “It’s true.” She nods emphatically my way.
I’m well aware, but I don’t dare affirm this fact with my husband seated next to me. I can’t help but shoot a sly grin his way and Noah is quick to frown.
Noah’s chest expands as he glances at the faces around him. “Everett, Cormack. I know that what happened between Lottie and me was in no way intentional.” He picks up my hand and offers a gentle smile my way. “But I meant every word of my vows, Lottie.”
My mouth falls open and a croaking sound emits from me as I look to Cormack in horror. Everett knows which end is up, but Cormack doesn’t even understand how the gravitational pull in the situation works. She’s so far out in orbit she might as well be in another solar system. She still thinks Noah is her official plus one.
Cormack takes a quick sip of her drink before lifting her finger. “Excuse me while I dash off to the ladies’ room.” She trots off seemingly emotionally intact, but you never know what’s lurking under that blonde mop of hers.
“Noah,” I whisper. “You’re going to send her into cardiac arrest. You do realize she’s wrapped you around her heart.”
Noah glances in the direction she took off in. “I don’t know. We had a counseling session this afternoon and I laid it all out there. But I think her takeaway was that it’s a phony marriage.”
Everett’s shoulders sag. “It’s time to lay something else out, too—any lingering feelings the two of you might have. Lemon, I was sincere in asking the two of you to winnow out your feelings for one another. But it seems to me, you’re both slow to press the gas.” He bears his electric blue eyes into mine. “Don’t hesitate because of me. I genuinely want you to be happy.” He growls at Noah. “And for God’s sake, don’t hesitate period. If you wanted something with Cormack, you could have easily had that by now. Your divorce is final. I’ve backed off with Lemon as far as I’m comfortable. I’ve looked into this little union you’ve found yourself in and discussed it with a family practice lawyer I work with. He suggested an annulment. He’s willing to take you both on and give you the good guy discount. I’ve overseen a small number of annulments in my courtroom and I will handle this for you as well. But”—he offers Noah a hardened glance—“it will be a few weeks before we can file the paperwork and then about two to six months after that before you appear in my courtroom.”
A very real part of me wants to gasp out loud, but out of respect for Noah I don’t dare. And two to six months? How am I going to go that long without Everett and his special goodnight kisses? Who is going to frost my cookies?
I turn to Noah and his lids hood low as if he heard. Noah has frosted my cookies in the past, and I know for a fact he’s perfectly capable.
“Slow down,” Everett barks over at him as if he were reading his mind. “Maybe—just maybe, Lemon, try this matrimony on for size. In a strange way, I think this might be a blessing in disguise. Once this is said and done, you should have the clarity you’re looking for. You don’t have to guess what it’ll be like being married to Noah. You’ll know firsthand.”
Cormack bounces back, looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as she goes on and on about the Denim and Diamonds Charity Event we’ll be forced to endure at her parents’ estate.
It’s funny how for so long we were waiting for Noah’s marriage to Britney to dissolve so we could figure out where we stood, and now we have our own marriage set before us like a hurdle.
I might be married to Noah for months.
Everett wants me to get behind it, and yet I can’t even wrap my head around it.
I’m officially married to Noah.
I’m Mrs. Noah Fox.
A sharp cry emits from the next table over and I look up in time to see Keelie and Bear jumping from their seats. Naomi pulls her hand back and launches a cheesy slice of pizza, pegging Lily right over the forehead with it.
Lily groans so loud the entire restaurant falls silent in honor of her rage.
“You little witch!” Lily slings a meatball at her newfound nemesis, but Naomi ducks and it pegs me right between the eyes instead.
Cormack laughs up a storm while snapping pictures of me with her phone.
“Great,” I say as I wipe away the saucy debris. And meanwhile, a full-on food fight has broken out at the next table, sending salad and breadsticks alike into the air like wayward Tomahawk cruise missiles.
Noah and Everett join Alex in an effort to break it up, but Naomi and Lily prove tenacious in their spaghetti slinging ways. And then, just like that, the entire lot of us is kicked out on our ears.
We all head for home with our hearts just as confused as they are torn apart—with the exception of Keelie and Bear, of course, and probably Noah.
Who would have thought that Keelie and Bear would be the pillars of normalcy when it comes to relationships?
And why not? There’s not a third component to their equation.
One plus one could never equal three. It seems like both Alex and I need to figure out these strange mathematics, which in the end should be pretty simple.
The problem is that the choices are too tempting to simply take one away.
One plus one equals three.
And that, my friend, is the new math.
Chapter 6
“I’m married to Noah,” I say to both Pancake and Waffles once we get back from dinner at Mangias.
I’ve been pacing in front of the fireplace for close to a half hour, hesitating on whether or not I want to build a fire or go to bed or—I don’t know what else.
“I mean, I knew I was married to Noah. I’ve known this for days but, boy, Everett really took it home tonight.” I place my balled up fists over my hips as I look to Pancake. “We might be married for months! We could be married until next spring. That’s technically three whole seasons away.” I can hardly catch my breath at the thought.
Waffles hops up onto the back of the sofa as if to get a better view of the ball of anxiety I’ve become. Both Pancake and Waffles are covered with thick cream-colored fur and have identical rust-tipped tails, but I’ve never had a problem telling them apart. Pancake’s nose is a bit more elongated and Waffles is a touch more smooshed. Their fur is equally as thick and fuzzy and they both can double as a pillow in a pinch.
“What do you think I should do?” I stare intently at the two of them as if expecting a response. Pancake lets out a hearty meow and Waffles seems to agree with him by way of a nod. “A lot of help you are. No offense, but I don’t speak Himalayanese. However, I do know of a talking cat whom I’ve yet to spend any quality alone time with and his name is Thirteen.” A thought comes to me. “Hey? Maybe I should spend some quality time with Noah?”
I speed to the kitchen and raid the tiny wine cooler built into the cabinetry. Since I’m not a big wine drinker, it’s stocked mostly with water bottles and a few odd bottles of sparkling cider. So I go with it. I grab a festive looking bottle of cider, fluff my hair in the foyer mirror, and head across the street.
I’ll admit, I wis
h I had the power to become invisible at times like these. I’d feel awful if Everett saw me sauntering over, all perky and cute, with what looks like a bottle of bubbly. Okay, so maybe I’m not all perky and cute, but there is a bottle of bubbly involved even if it doesn’t have the power to go straight to my head. But, then, I can pin this little nighttime jaunt right on his legal eagle shoulders if I wanted to. I’m more or less following his orders.
Noah, Everett, and I all happen to live on an adorable little street called Country Cottage Road. Last fall, while I was still dating Noah, a rental came available across the street from his cabin, and since I was in serious need of housing, I took it. And since Everett came to inspect the property with me, he noted the house next door to my rental was available and so he purchased it for himself. And that’s exactly how we all came to be within prying distance of one another. For the most part it’s worked out. I can spy on both Noah and Everett right from the comfort of my living room, so it’s a win-win for me.
Noah’s house is lit up like a peach and my adrenaline kicks in as I step onto the porch.
“Everett’s fault. Everett’s fault,” I keep repeating as I make my way to the entry.
I can’t be held responsible for what happens tonight. I give a quick knock on the door and Noah opens up while my hand is still in motion.
There he is, tall, dark, and impossibly handsome, those glowing green eyes bearing hard into mine. His dimples dip in deep with approval at the sight of me and he holds up a bottle of champagne, dripping with condensation from the chill emanating off it.
He tips his head to the side. “Jinx?”
My entire body relaxes as I laugh. “Maybe we should start our union with a word that doesn’t represent bad luck.”
Toby barks and whimpers as he makes his way over and I pull him into a hug. Toby is Noah’s gorgeous strawberry blonde Golden Retriever that he still shares with his ex-wife. And he’s just as adorable as he is sweet.
Killer Cupcakes (MURDER IN THE MIX Book 14) Page 5
