It must have been nearly two hours later and Mariska was at that moment far away in her thoughts, when suddenly he was there.
She felt his presence before he parted the branches to come through them. She saw the lights behind his head and felt almost as if they gave him a halo.
“I had a feeling I would find you here tonight,” he remarked in his deep voice.
She did not speak and he sat down beside her.
“What is worrying you?” he asked after a moment.
“H-how do you – know I am worried?”
“I can feel it, in fact I felt it before I came. I had the idea that you wanted me.”
He saw her eyes widen and then she said,
“I do – want you! That is – why I have been – waiting.”
“What has happened?”
It seemed inevitable, she thought, that they should be so closely attuned that they did not waste time on preliminary courtesies.
She did not answer his question and after a moment he said,
“Give me your hand.”
She obeyed him because she was surprised at the request.
Then, as he took her cool fingers and held them closely in both of his hands, she felt their warmth strengthen her.
She looked up at him with a helpless appeal that had something infinitely pathetic about it.
“What has happened?” he asked her again.
“I-I don’t – know how to – tell you.”
He felt her fingers tremble and he said,
“I think there is nothing that we cannot tell each other, Mariska.”
“I don’t wish to – shock and – h-horrify you.”
He smiled.
“It is unlikely you will.”
“You don’t – know what I have – to say.”
“Then suppose you tell me? Surely you are not afraid?”
“Yes – I am.”
“There is no reason to be, not with me.”
“Only of – what you will – feel.”
“What I feel about you, Mariska, is something that I am afraid to say aloud.”
He felt her stiffen and then he said very gently,
“Tell me what is troubling you.”
He knew that she had to force the words to her lips, but somehow they were said.
“F-Friederich has been told to – spy on you.”
“Is that all?”
“He – wants – me to do it!”
“And that has upset you?”
“Of course! How could I – do such a – thing. How could I – behave in such a way to – anyone, least of all – you?”
“Least of all me?” Lord Arkley repeated very slowly. “Am I perhaps exceptional, Mariska?”
She turned her face away from him so that he could only see her profile.
“Am I?” he asked gently.
As if he compelled her, she turned her face and her eyes looked up into his.
They were illuminated by the light coming through the green boughs of the trees and he could see quite clearly the pain in her eyes.
“My darling!” he said. “You are not to worry yourself over anything so completely unimportant.”
“Wh-what – did you – call me?” Mariska asked and he could hardly hear the words.
“I called you ‘my darling’, which I had no right to do,” Lord Arkley answered, “but it is what you have been since the first moment I saw you.”
He saw a sudden radiance in her face that had not been there before and he went on,
“I knew when we met that you were the loveliest woman I had ever seen in my life, but you were so much more than that. Your heart spoke to my heart and your soul to mine and there was really no need for words.”
“That is – what I felt,” Mariska whispered, “but I-I should not say so. It is – wrong.”
“It is not wrong,” Lord Arkley said, “because neither of us has done anything wrong and love is something that no one can help.”
She made a little movement at the word and, as his fingers tightened on hers, he said,
“Yes, love, Mariska! I love you! I knew it, although I would not acknowledge it the first night we sat here. But this morning by the lake it was something that I could not deny.”
“B-but – we must not – it’s – impossible – ” Mariska began.
Then her voice died away and she said,
“I love you too! I thought it was – love, but, as I have – never been in love before – I was not sure.”
“I have never loved before as I love now,” Lord Arkley affirmed.
Mariska closed her eyes.
“I cannot believe that what you are saying – is true. For so long I have wished to – die and no longer have to – go on living – so I never thought that this – would happen to me!”
“Yet it has happened.”
“It is – not wrong – tell me it is not – wrong,” Mariska begged him. “Anything that is so beautiful – so absolutely – perfect could not be a – sin.”
“As I have already said,” he answered, “we cannot help loving each other with our hearts as well as our souls and minds, but it is the consequences of that love that we have to discuss with each other.”
As if she understood what he was trying to say, Mariska said in a small voice,
“We – could not – spoil it.”
“That is what I expected you would think.”
“I love you with – my whole heart,” Mariska said. “But I could not – behave as – someone like – Baroness von Kettler would do.”
Lord Arkley was surprised.
“What do you know about Baroness von Kettler?” he enquired.
“I heard General von Echardstein threaten Friederich that if he did not do what the Kaiser – required of him they would send – Baroness von Kettler – here.”
Mariska drew in her breath.
“I did not know what he meant – I did not know what he was saying until today. I asked the Duchesse who Baroness von Kettler is.”
“And she told you?”
“Yes – she told me – and then I realised what Friederich was – asking me to do.”
The words were hardly audible and Lord Arkley realised how shocked she was.
“Listen, my darling,” he said softly. “I understand now why this has upset you, but let me tell you that you could never in a million years be anything like the Baroness or behave like her.”
“Do you – know her?”
“I have known about her for a long time. I have met her casually on several occasions.”
“But – you would not – tell her what she – wished to know?”
“I hope I am too experienced to fall victim to any plots that might be hatched up by the German Secret Service,” Lord Arkley answered, “and may I tell you, my precious, to put your mind at rest, that I was well aware when I dined with you that first night why I had been asked.”
“You – knew? H-how did – you know?”
“I actually saw von Echardstein and von Senden calling on your husband and I thought that it was strange. But then Baron Karlov’s German sympathies are well known.”
“You knew – and you still – wanted to be – my friend?”
“Do you imagine for one moment that I suspected you of being mixed up willingly with that sort of dirty espionage?” Lord Arkley asked.
He felt as if there was a question between them that was unanswered and he added with a faint smile,
“My mission in Germany was rather different. It was to make a report on the feelings of the German Courts and the ordinary people towards France and Great Britain.”
He saw that Mariska was listening intently as he went on,
“It was just to be the impressions that I picked up from ordinary conversations and ordinary contacts. It was nothing more sinister than that, whatever the German Secret Service may try to read into my visit.”
“I am glad – so very glad!”
“And I promise you that
I don’t listen at keyholes, read other people’s private letters or try to extort secrets from drunkards or women.”
Lord Arkley spoke scathingly and then, as he felt Mariska tremble, he said quickly,
“Forgive me. I should not have spoken like that. Forget everything that has shocked and upset you.”
“This means that I – cannot go riding with you – tomorrow.”
“Why not?”
“Because F-Friederich will – cross-question me about – everything you say.”
“Does it matter?” Lord Arkley asked. “Unless you mean that he will be angry with you.”
“He will be – angry anyway, as he was angry today when I had nothing to tell him.”
She looked at him intently as she went on,
“Except that you said if anyone could keep the peace of Europe it would be King Edward.”
There was a little pause and then she asked him,
“You meant – you meant me to repeat that?”
“I thought it was a perfectly safe thing for you to say if anyone questioned you.”
“It is – horrible and degrading!” Mariska cried. “How can we talk as we talked this morning – if I know that waiting for me, almost as if they were – eavesdropping, are Friederich, General von Echardstein, Admiral von Senden and the Kaiser?”
The note in her voice made Lord Arkley lift her hand to his lips.
“Forget them,” he insisted. “Forget everything, my dearest dear, except that I love you!”
He kissed her hand and felt a little quiver go through her.
“I love you!” he said again, “and, because this love we have for each other is so different, I promise you I will never do anything that will make you feel guilty.”
“But perhaps it is – wrong to – love you?”
“Love, as I have said before, is something neither of us can help,” Lord Arkley replied.
“I cannot – help it,” Mariska whispered. “I feel now that you fill my whole life – my whole being. Nothing else is of importance. There is only – you!”
“That is how I feel about you.”
“B-but I am – m-married and I vowed that I would be Friederich’s wife in – sickness and in – health.”
“It is cruel – it is damnable!” Lord Arkley exclaimed violently.
“But there is – nothing we can do – about it except try to – forget each – other.”
“No! That is something we need not do,” he contradicted her. “You are Friederich’s wife. We neither of us can deny that, but in loving you I am not asking you to be unfaithful to him. I am asking nothing except the hope that my love will perhaps give you something in your life that has not been there before.”
“It gives me – everything – everything I have – ever wanted,” Mariska said passionately. “I have been – so alone – so frightened – and Friederich hates me!”
The words were spoken hardly above her breath,
“Then I can give you love,” he answered. ‘The love you are entitled to, the love you need, my precious.”
“I need it so much – and now I have no wish to – die,” Mariska said. “Even if I cannot – see you I shall know you are – somewhere in the world.”
“We shall have to part eventually,” Lord Arkley cautioned, “but not yet. As long as the King remains in Marienbad, there is an excuse for me to be here.”
“And we can – see each – other?”
“Why not?” he asked. “And let’s for the short time we have think only of each other.”
Mariska thought for a moment of Friederich’s anger if she could not tell him what he wanted to hear, but she set it on one side and the radiance was back in her face as she said,
“1 want to – talk to you – I want to – listen to your voice and perhaps we can both escape into that – other world that we talked about this – morning.”
“We will,” he replied, “and I promise you, my glorious love, I will do nothing to upset or shock you.”
“I don’t think you could ever do that,” she answered. “And at the same time our love is so – sacred and I know that it – comes from God and that I could not – bear it to be like – ”
Her voice died away and he knew that she was going to say,
‘Like the other loves you have known.’
He kissed her hand again with his lips lingering on the softness of her skin.
Then he said,
“Because we are different, because our love is different and so are our ideals I think, my lovely one, that you and I will never fail ourselves.”
She looked up at him, their eyes met and she felt as if she was in his arms and his lips were on hers.
Neither of them moved until with a little sigh that was one of happiness Mariska said,
“I must go – back.”
“I will let you go,” he answered, “because I will never persuade you to do anything that is against your own inclinations. But, my lovely darling, I shall be thinking of you, longing for you and dreaming about you.”
He saw radiance in her eyes as he went on,
“I shall find it very hard to wait until seven o’clock tomorrow morning when I shall see you again.”
“You are – quite sure that I should – come with you?”
“I am quite sure. There would be no point in making us both unhappy.”
“Then I will come – I want to come – you know I do.”
“As I want you to.”
“It will be – wonderful to ride with you and go to our – enchanted lake again.”
“Then think of nothing else tonight. Forget all the ugliness and remember only the beauty of the water, the mist and the things we talked about.”
“When I came – here,” Mariska said, “I thought that after what I – had told you, you would – never want to – see me again.”
“That was very foolish,” he replied. “Surely you realise that because I love you, whatever ‘crime’ you may commit my love would remain unchanged.”
His fingers tightened on hers as he said,
“Our love is greater and more important than mere actions. It is the thoughts, feelings and instincts of our very souls.”
“How can you – understand so – well?” Mariska asked.
“Only because I love you.”
She rose to her feet still holding onto his hand. Then, as they stood gazing at each other, he released her.
“Goodnight, my own darling,” he murmured, “and my God go with you.”
She knew that he thought it wise that they should not return to the hotel together and for a long moment she looked at him.
Then she turned and walked across the garden while from beneath the hanging boughs of the willow tree he watched her go.
Chapter Six
“It is so beautiful!” Mariska sighed looking across the lake.
“So are you!” Lord Arkley replied.
She turned to look up at him and the sunshine appeared to have been caught in her eyes.
“I want to – believe you,” she said, “I want you to think me – beautiful and yet I feel when you say so that I am – dreaming.”
“Then go on dreaming, my darling. Your beauty will always be part of my dreams, although it is an undeniable fact.”
She smiled with happiness and he mused that he had never known a woman who vibrated to every word that he said and who he knew had, despite her loveliness, a very humble idea of herself.
He sat looking at her with the water around them and with no one to interrupt. They were alone in a world of their own.
“Do you think we will be – able to come – here tomorrow?” Mariska questioned.
“I can only hope so,” Lord Arkley answered. “I asked King Edward when he was thinking of leaving Marienbad and he replied, ‘not for another week at any rate’.”
Mariska drew in her breath and he knew that she had been worrying in case this was the last day they could be together.
As if
she was too shy to meet his eyes, she looked away towards the mist at the far end of the lake before she said very softly,
“I shall – treasure every moment – every second so that when – you are not there I can pretend that this is – still happening to me.”
“I do not want to talk about it now,” Lord Arkley said, “but I know that when I have to leave you it will be like cutting my heart out of my body.”
“I feel – that too,” Mariska replied, “but I am – so lucky – so very very lucky to have known you and to have – loved anyone so – wonderful.”
“When you speak to me like that,” Lord Arkley smiled, “I want to snatch you up in my arms and carry you away to some lonely place in the middle of the Pacific or among the Himalayas where no one will ever find us again.”
“I can imagine – nothing more perfect,” Mariska said almost beneath her breath.
“I am behaving very well in a manner I have never done before. But you know that I want more than my hope of Heaven to hold you close to me and to kiss your lips.”
At the passion in his voice the colour flowed in Mariska's cheeks.
Then she said in a voice that he could hardly hear,
“I-I have – never been – kissed!”
“Never been kissed?” he repeated incredulously. “How can that be possible?”
She did not answer for a moment and then she said,
“I thought that when Friederich asked my father if he could marry me that he – loved me.”
“That is what I believed too. I could not imagine otherwise why he should have married someone who was not Royal.”
Mariska gave a little sigh and Lord Arkley asked,
“Tell me what happened. I want to know.”
He thought for a moment that Mariska would refuse to talk about it in case it was disloyal and then she said hesitatingly,
“Friederich came to stay for the partridge shooting with my cousin, Prince Miklós – and we were all invited to the Palace at Fertöd to entertain him.”
Lord Arkley who had stayed at the great Eszterházy Palace knew how impressive it was.
It had been built at the end of the eighteenth century by the Austrian Architect Fefele.
No one who had seen it could ever forget the huge baroque three storey building with its horseshoe-shaped Ceremonial Court, its Opera House, puppet theatre and enormous music room where Joseph Haydn had reigned as Court Musician up to 1790.
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