Immortal Dissent

by Mandi Jourdan

  “Thank you.”

  Vanessa stood, giving Julian’s hand one more squeeze before releasing it. More than anything, she wanted to hold on indefinitely, to keep him beside her. She made a mental vow to return to him as soon as possible.

  She quickly gathered her belongings and made her way into the bathroom to wash as much of the blood from her hair and skin as she could. When she returned to the bedroom, it was in a knee-length nightgown and a white robe with her hair loose around her shoulders.

  The smile playing on Julian’s lips and the way his grey eyes skimmed over her sent a jolt through Vanessa’s stomach.

  “You’re going to make me blush, Julian.”

  He blinked, and she watched the color rise in his cheeks.

  “Sorry,” he said quickly, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not used to seeing you like this.”

  “Does it bother you?” she asked quickly, folding her arms over her chest. She took a step backward.

  “No, no. I just mean you look comfortable. I only ever see you in things that look like they’d make it hard for a person to breathe.”

  Vanessa laughed. “They do.” She started forward, closing the closet door on the way to retake her place beside him and letting out a little sigh as she sat. “I tried to change earlier, but I couldn’t make myself. I just wanted to lie down.”

  “If you still want to, feel free,” said Julian. “I’ll get out of the way. I can sit at the desk, if you like.”

  Vanessa shook her head, smiling. Please don’t go, she implored him silently. You’re the only one I actually want to see right now. You’re the only one who cares what I want, who cares about who I am and not what you can take from me.

  She slid back on the bed and leaned against the pillows. “Sit by me,” she said. “It’s more comfortable than the desk, anyway.”

  Julian scooted back to sit beside her and met her eyes, and she knew instantly that he saw through her brittle smile.

  “Come here,” he said.

  Julian wrapped an arm around her. Vanessa watched him for a moment, eyes wide, and then she let herself relax against him and rested her head on his shoulder. For several moments, they sat in silence as Vanessa realized how much safer she felt now than she had any time in recent memory and how much she enjoyed Julian’s touch.

  “Will you tell me what happened?” he asked quietly. “Please?”

  “Do you promise not to kill the person responsible, if I do?”

  “No. If you’ll be safer if I kill them, I can’t promise I won’t take that into account.”

  Vanessa laughed softly. “Okay, do you promise you won’t do it right now?”

  “That I can promise. I don’t plan on leaving you.”

  She pulled in a long breath and released it. “It was Victor,” she said. She felt Julian tense, and she pressed onward. “He tried… Well, he kissed me, but it was all wrong. He’d never done it before, not with me, and he held on too hard. He grabbed my wrist and wouldn’t let me go.” Vanessa rubbed her bruised wrist. “He backed me into a tree, and I couldn’t get away. I bit his lip to get him to let me go, and he slapped me. My head hit the tree, and I couldn’t see, and I didn’t realize I was bleeding, but I just needed to get away. There were hunters. They hit him with a knife, and I—I should’ve stayed, I should’ve made sure he was all right, but I had to get away from him.”

  “Hey,” Julian said quietly. “Hey, look at me.”

  Vanessa lifted her head to meet his eyes. She didn’t register that she’d released a fresh wave of tears down her cheeks until he wiped them away and left his palm against her jaw.

  “You did the right thing. You owed him nothing, Nessa. Nothing. If you’d stayed, do you think he would’ve tried to keep you out of the path of the hunters? I think the coward would’ve left you there to face them without any training and not given it a second thought. Victor is a horrible, horrible person. I don’t blame you for not trying to save him, and honestly, if I were you, I might’ve tried to lead the hunters to him and made my life a lot easier.”

  She gave him a slight smile, and he continued.

  “What he put you through is inexcusable. He deserves much worse than what the hunters will do to him, if anything. I’m so, so sorry for what he did to you.”

  He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, and she embraced him.

  “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

  “It’s not your fault,” she breathed against his neck. “Thank you, Julian.”

  “For what?”

  “You’re the only one who’s ever really made me feel like I could tell you anything and you wouldn’t think less of me.”

  “Never.” As he spoke, she felt his fingers trailing gently through her hair. “I think the world of you.”

  Her heart pounding violently, Vanessa rested her hand against his chest.

  “I think the world of you, too,” she said.

  Trembling, she lifted her face. She saw her mother in her mind’s eye telling her that her looks were all the worth she possessed. She saw Victor, heard his voice telling her she was his.

  She clung to Julian’s shirt and inhaled.

  This is my choice. This is my choice, and I choose him.

  She gently pressed her lips to his. As he kissed her back tenderly and pulled her closer with the hand he’d rested at her back, she realized that he’d chosen her, too.

  **

  *

  *

  I can’t believe I signed up for this, Sera. I can’t tell you where I am right now, but I want you to know that I’m safe. He has us tailing a member of their Council, but I have faith that we will be fine and that I will make it home to you and Julian and Lara.

  He wants Julian to join him, when our boy comes of age. Julian is young, but I can already tell that he’s not like me. He’ll hate this life. Hell, I hate it, and I chose it. I’m afraid our son may never have that choice, and I regret that more than I can ever tell you or him. Perhaps Lara will be dragged into it, too.

  I’m sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry.

  *

  Letter addressed to Seraphina Bellamy from Apollo Bellamy

  16 October 2001

  *

  The Heir

  *

  2017

  My heart thudded obnoxiously as I watched the girl sitting beside me on the sofa. Vanessa’s face was animated as she spoke, her wide blue eyes brightening with her tone and her blond waves brushing against her pale cheeks as she turned from me to my sister. Though I would’ve loved the chance to speak with Vanessa alone, I knew that was highly unlikely; her parents were overprotective to such a degree they’d passed through the territory of ‘controlling’ and come out on the other side, and though Vanessa and I had been friends since childhood, I knew her parents were no longer fond of the idea of us being alone together, now that she was seventeen and I was eighteen.

  “You should’ve seen his face, Lara! It was beautiful. There’s a reason we don’t let Ryan plan parties. I was afraid you would never speak to any of us again, Julian,” Vanessa said. She nudged me slightly with her elbow, a light blush beginning to color her skin. I admired the sharp curve of her jaw and the way it contrasted the fullness of her cheeks, and it wasn’t until she blinked that I realized I’d been watching her for a moment too long.

  “Nothing Ryan does will keep me from speaking to you,” I said, laughing under my breath. “Even if he did make a point of informing the entire class they’d be missing my birthday over the holidays and make them glad they would with his terrible singing.”

  Lara leaned around Vanessa, her lips twisting into a smirk. “We’ll have to invite him over so he can grace Mum and Dad with the wonders of his voice.” Lara’s jaw was set in what I recognized to be a challenge.

  “Anyway, Nessa,” I said, returning my attention to her, “it’s your birthday I want to focus on.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t.” Vanessa sighed, her smile falling from her lips.
“I’ve told my parents it’s absurd to hold a ball, considering my birthday isn’t until February.”

  Lara shrugged. “I think it’s lovely that they want to celebrate it before we return to school.”

  “I would, too, if I thought it actually had anything to do with me.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s just another excuse for them to draw attention to the family.” Vanessa let out a soft sigh and shook her head. “Regardless, the two of you had better be there. Don’t make me go through it alone, please. I can only imagine who they’ll invite.”

  My grip tensed on the arm of the sofa. “Him?” The thought made my stomach turn. My family and Vanessa’s were prestigious among the Born vampires; our bloodlines traced back to ancient times and did whatever was necessary to maintain the power they’d obtained. Unfortunately for Vanessa, her parents believed pushing her into a marriage that would benefit them politically was a reasonable way to solidify their influence.

  “You know he wouldn’t be coming if I had a choice.”

  “It’s ridiculous,” said Lara, shaking her head. “They shouldn’t be able to force this on you.”

  “They shouldn’t be able to do a lot of—”

  “Vanessa.”

  I glanced toward the doorway, and I saw the others do the same in my periphery. Vanessa’s mother stood on the threshold, her eyes narrowed and her fingers drumming against the wooden doorframe.

  “It’s time to go,” she said. “Your father’s ready.”

  Vanessa nodded and rose from the sofa, and I fought to keep the sigh that left my lips inaudible. The urge to give Honoria Capulet a piece of my mind was rising by the day, but I refrained, if only to avoid worsening things for her daughter.

  “Thank you for having me,” said Vanessa, glancing from Lara to me and smiling as her gaze locked with mine.

  “Anytime,” I said. Vanessa’s focus lingered on me for a moment longer, and then she turned away as her smile disappeared. I knew she was trying to avoid incurring her mother’s disapproval, but the shift in her expression still stung me. As Vanessa walked toward the door, her pale blue skirt brushing the carpet behind her, I inclined my head to her mother. “Good day, Lady Capulet.”

  “Master Bellamy. Miss Bellamy.” Honoria nodded to me and to Lara and then turned away and started down the corridor, her daughter following closely behind her. As the sound of their footsteps retreated, Lara sighed heavily.

  “When are you going to tell her?” she demanded.

  “Tell her what?”

  “Oh, come on, Julian. You’re about as transparent as a window, but somehow, I don’t think she’s figured it out. You aren’t going to make her put up with Victor for long, are you?”

  “No,” I said more sharply than I’d intended. I drew in a long breath and closed my eyes. “No, I won’t watch her go through that.”

  *

  I stood at the foot of the steps for exactly twenty seconds, drumming my fingers against the white railing as I waited and dashing up the stairs at top vampiric speed the instant it was time. Much to my delight, I’d persuaded Vanessa to leave her party early to return to my home with a group of our friends who much preferred to spend the evening playing games rather than socializing with our parents’ acquaintances while wearing suits and ball gowns. My father had told me he’d be out on an errand for Lysander—his employer and the man whose service I was in training to enter—for the evening. I intended to ensure that everyone made it home safely before my father returned or Vanessa’s parents realized she’d gone.

  I froze when I’d entered the second-floor corridor, straining my ears for the sounds of movement. I wandered into rooms on either side of the hall, glancing behind curtains and behind doors in each before moving on to the next. I made my way into my sister’s room and checked behind the pale grey curtains and the door to no avail, and then I held perfectly still, hoping to catch the sound of someone shifting. I was met only with silence. Something was, however, out of place. Lara was meticulous when it came to making sure her clothes were put away and her wardrobe was shut neatly, but now, its door was slightly cracked. I stepped quietly forward and pulled open the door.

  “Aha! Found you.”

  Grinning brightly, I offered my hand to Vanessa, who was perched on an internal shelf of Lara’s wardrobe. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion and her hair was in slight disarray, and I didn’t bother denying to myself that I was glad she was the one I’d located first. I didn’t have to make an effort not to stare, as no one else could see us.

  Taking my hand gently, she climbed down to stand beside me with a small, embarrassed smile. “It was too obvious, wasn’t it? Lara told me so.” She released my hand to smooth her skirt into alignment.

  “You should listen to her.” I chuckled. “Really, though, it wouldn’t have been if I didn’t know Lara was obsessive about keeping that door closed. It would’ve been impossible to shut from the inside, so someone had to be in it.”

  Vanessa nodded. “I get to help you find the rest now, don’t I?”

  “Yes. Thank the gods. I think they’re learning; I’ve been looking for five minutes now.”

  “And I’m the only one who hasn’t gotten better at this.” Vanessa bit her lip and laughed softly, shaking her head. “Isn’t that sad?”

  “Not at all,” I said quickly, wanting to put her at ease. “Walden, Ryan, and Cas are here so often that they’ve probably found places I don’t know about; you just need to come over more.”

  “I’ve a feeling my parents would have a problem with that.”

  I shrugged. “Tell them you’re going to see Lara. Come on; let’s go see where these idiots are.” I offered her my arm, and when she took it, I led her out into the hall, where our nearly silent footsteps mingled with the ticking of the grandfather clock my mother had purchased before my birth.

  “Should I be alarmed that it’s so easy for you to lie to your parents?” Vanessa teased.

  “No, no, it’s not quite that. It’s easier for me to advise someone else to do it than to do it myself.” I tried to recall the last time I’d successfully lied to either of my parents, and the closest example I could find was the lie of omission when I’d requested to have friends over tonight and conveniently forgotten to mention that not all of them were male.

  “Almost always true,” agreed Vanessa. She looked away from my face for a moment to peer around a corner. “I think I saw Walden running this way earlier.”

  “Lead the way.”

  She started down the hall, and I followed, my arm still linked with hers as she led me down a back staircase and to the first floor. As she surveyed the doorways and rooms on either side of them, I alternated doing the same and focusing on her. I didn’t plan to miss a moment of the very sparse time we were alone.

  “Here.” Vanessa halted in her steps, laying her hand against the door to her right and leaning close to listen. “More than one of them,” she told me under her breath. “People are talking inside.”

  I eyed the door suspiciously. It led to my father’s study, and I knew he wouldn’t approve of my friends using the room to hide.

  “What’re they saying?” I asked in a whisper.

  A moment passed in silence, and then I watched as Vanessa’s mouth slipped into a frown.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s not them.”

  No sooner had the words left her lips than the door to the study opened to reveal my father, whose tight-lipped grimace and narrowed eyes told me everything I needed to know about what Vanessa and I had just inadvertently interrupted. My heart began to pound, and I gave a very slight pull on Vanessa’s arm, hoping to signal to her that she needed to get away from there while she could.

  “Invite them in, Apollo. The children are curious.”

  A cold chill passed through me, and when Vanessa’s grip on me tightened, I knew she understood. My irritation at being referred to as a child was dwarfed considerably by my des
ire to take her and run somewhere far away. I raised my free hand to rest on the arm I held and led her past my father and into the study.

  My gaze cut through the small crowd assembled to land immediately on the vampire at its center. Had I known Lysander would be present in my home this evening, I would’ve remained at the Capulet ball.

  “My Lord.” I dropped into a bow, but I refused to relinquish my hold on Vanessa’s arm. I felt her move and turned my head slightly to watch as she curtseyed. I couldn’t begin to imagine what she was thinking.

  “Good evening, Julian,” said Lysander coolly, his crimson eyes drifting over my face as I straightened my posture once more before his focus shifted to Vanessa. “And… Miss Capulet, I believe?”

  She bowed her head, her cheeks flushed. “Vanessa,” she said quietly.

  “Vanessa,” Lysander repeated, drumming his fingers against the arm of the chair he stood beside. “You’re Thomas’s daughter, yes?”

  She nodded slowly, and I gave her arm a small squeeze.

  “Then relax, dear girl. Your father has done great work for me. And then there’s your cousin…” Lysander chuckled, and I tried to understand why the sound seemed so strange. I supposed I’d never known our leader to be anything less than grave. “Yes, Lizbeth has the makings of a strong leader of our cause. Not unlike you, Mr. Bellamy.”

  I held Lysander’s gaze as it returned to me, and I nodded slightly. “Thank you.”

  “You should be proud of your son, Apollo,” said Lysander, turning to my father. “From the reports I’ve heard, he fought well at Briarcrest. The mages didn’t stand a chance.”

  “So I’ve heard.” Though my father spoke to Lysander, his focus was on me. I knew I was going to be severely punished, when everyone else had gone.

  For the first time since Vanessa and I had entered the study, I allowed my gaze to wander the room. We were not alone with my father and Lysander; several other high-ranking fighters in Lysander’s service were present, including my friend Ryan’s father and Silas Teague, whose son had been lost on the mission my generation of initiates had undertaken to wipe out the mage stronghold at Briarcrest as a test of our abilities. I recognized most of the faces—I quickly counted eight, including Lysander and my father—and I took a very small amount of comfort in the fact that Vanessa’s father was not present. That was one less person who would be angry with me, at least until Vanessa returned home and he learned the truth of where she’d been.