I was a grown woman but with no experience being one. Most importantly, I had never considered my gender as a risk factor in life. The previous night brought forth the shocking reality that I could not afford to think that way any longer. I could debate the rightness or wrongness of it all I wanted, but in this world, the strong preyed on those they thought of as weak, and they usually got away with it. I needed to account for that in the future.
Also, I clearly was attracted to women. It was just... different. More nuanced. I had no idea how that would be viewed in this world, but that was a problem to be dealt with at a later date—a much later date. My plate was full enough dealing with the Bloody Hearts. I certainly wouldn’t be adding any messy romantic issues to my list of concerns any time soon.
Then there were my emotions. They were far more powerful than I could easily manage. Dealing with them would be difficult territory for me. Hopefully, I could keep things under some level of control until it was safe to let them flow. If I could manage that, then I just might be alright. But then I reconsidered the issue for another moment.
Although it had been unsettling for me at the time, freely expressing my emotions had been a relief in the end. And once they were out, I had gained a measure of reprieve from their paralyzing grip. With a sense of frustration, I realized that, once again, I was looking at things from the wrong perspective, and was treating the differences between what the dead man thought was right and the person I was now as a problem to be solved. I needed to stop doing that. Immediately.
I am Dreya. Whatever comes up, I would deal with it. Not from the point of view of a fucking dead man, but from my own perspective—the perspective of the completely different person that I knew I was. I would not ignore the knowledge and insights that I retained from that other person’s life, but those lingering memories would now be relegated to the background. I would not allow the random memories of a dead man to interfere with my life ever again.
No. Wherever it may take me, whatever it means, and whatever the consequence might be, I am Dreya. I would only move forward. I would learn, and I would grow stronger. I would overcome the Bloody Hearts and any other challenges this world might set before me. And I would do it all as myself; as a unique individual, and not the mere shadow of some pathetic dead man from another world.
Because I am Dreya.
16
I found not only strength but comfort as well in my new resolve, and it filled me with a renewed sense of purpose as I got up and made my way back to the road. Once I made sure the area was clear, I stepped back onto the path and resumed my trek to Holly.
The remainder of the trip was uneventful, and as I continued to bring my Perception skill in and out of focus, I noticed a definite decrease in the level of shock that I experienced during the transitions. It was a relief to know that I was well on the way to eliminating one more of my major concerns. When I finally reached the border of Holly, I raised the hood of my cloak over my head and wandered into town.
The town of Holly was a near replica of Tula, as I imagined most of the smaller towns would be. The main differences were in the number and types of shops, as well as the lack of a tavern. As I walked through the town, I began immediately laying the trail of crumbs for the Bloody Hearts to follow.
I took my time browsing through a few of the shops, making a point to keep my hood up as I did. But in each store, I pretended to find an object of interest. When I did, I would draw back my hood and examine it more closely, making sure the shopkeeper or another patron had me in view as I did so. The only purchases I actually made were in the general store, where I found a few fruits to add to my trail rations and a padded shirt and pair of pants to wear under my armor.
The padding I currently had under my armor was the sleeveless tunic that fit under my chest guard. While it performed adequately, it left my shoulders and upper arms unprotected, save for the thin layer of clothing I wore. This new set of padding had sleeves that offered at least some protection for my shoulders and arms, and with the pants, I also had some protection over the gaps between my leather tassets and greaves.
I kept my hood down while purchasing my items in the general store, allowing the shopkeeper a good look at me. When we finished the transaction, I pretended to be surprised to find that my hood had been lowered and exited hastily as I put it back up. Hopefully, my little act had added some credence to the false leads I was providing. Once I had achieved my goal, I made my way to the inn—I didn’t bother looking at the sign as I entered—I would not be here long, and I really didn’t care what the place was called.
Once inside the inn, I took a quick look around. It was a tidy place, smaller than The Fat Pig back in Tula, but with a cozier, warmer feel to it. I took a seat at an empty table and was almost immediately approached by a server.
“What can I get you, um… sir?” The waitress inquired, as my hood apparently caused her some confusion.
Had I truly been trying to hide myself, I might have made an effort to alter my voice or otherwise play into her misconception. But I needed to leave a clear trail for my pursuers, so I made no effort to conceal myself.
“It’s ‘Miss,’” I corrected her. “And I need a room for the night.”
“Oh, of course, I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “It’s just that with your hood up and all I–”
“How much for the room, and can I get my meals brought to me there? I prefer to keep to myself,” I interrupted her.
“Yes, oh, well, the rooms are a silver Mark, and I can see that your meals are brought to you.”
I took out two silver Marks and pressed them into her hand.
“I hope this is enough for a good meal and some privacy.”
She tucked the coins into her belt as she nodded back at me.
“Yes, most certainly miss,” she said. “Would you like me to show you to your room now?
“Yes, please. That would be best.”
The tidy little room had just a bed and a small dresser, but it would more than suit my needs for the night. It was still a bit early, so I instructed the young woman to bring my supper up in a few hours. Knowing that this might be my last night in relative safety, I also told her to bring a pitcher of ale along with the food. I figured I might have a tough time sleeping if my mind chose to dwell on the challenges ahead of me, and an ale or two might help me relax and fall asleep. Besides, I had no idea how long it might be before I had the opportunity to enjoy a nice mug of ale again.
I made myself comfortable and took off my armor and gear, piling it all neatly in the corner. I had kept my old padded vest just in case, and stored it away in my backpack, and placed my new padded garments with the rest of the gear I would be donning in the morning. I did keep my newest dagger with me on its belt sheath. I may have felt relatively safe for now but being completely unarmed was totally out of the question.
I would have liked to go downstairs and enjoy the atmosphere of the busy inn, or perhaps wander the town some more, but the need to maintain my illusion overrode my desire for company. So, I remained alone in my room, mostly frustrated and bored.
What I should have been doing was working to gain XP and levels and getting stronger while learning more about this world. Instead, I was trapped here by my need to lay a false trail for the despicable Bloody Hearts to follow. I wanted to simply kill them all, but that was unrealistic in my current state. Perhaps some level of retribution would be possible once I was more powerful, but for now, their greater strength and numbers dictated my options.
I decided to try and run through various scenarios and potential encounters with members of the Bloody Hearts—it wasn’t all that productive, to be honest, but I had little else to occupy my time. If nothing else, I had at least begun preparing myself to a small degree for some of the possibilities I might face. My dubious strategizing session was halted by a sharp knock at the door.
The sound startled me for a moment—my mind had been so focused on the Bloody Hearts that I imme
diately thought they had somehow tracked me down. My pulse raced, and I was about to jump up and grab my weapons when a voice called out.
“I’ve brought your dinner, miss.”
When I recognized the voice of the serving girl, I let out a deep sigh of relief and unlocked the door to let her in.
She brought a large tray of food and a generous pitcher of ale and set it down on the room’s small dresser. Turning to face me, she seemed startled when she saw me for the first time without my hood and cloak covering me.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said after a brief moment.
“For what?” I asked, confused by her apology.
“Oh, it’s just I was staring is all… I didn’t mean anything—it’s just that your eyes are such a pretty shade of green. I’ve never seen eyes like yours before.”
“Yes, it’s why I wear my cloak so much,” I replied, as I thought of a way to turn the situation to my advantage.
“Oh, but they’re so pretty. If I had your eyes, I would show them off as much as I could,” the young woman complimented me.
“Maybe, but having such a distinctive feature can also work against you if there is a need to travel discreetly,” I said to her, purposefully tinging my voice with regret.
My little act had apparently worked, because when she replied, her voice had lost its former happy tone, and took up a softer note of understanding.
“Oh, I see.”
“Please, if anyone comes asking about me, don’t tell them that I’ve been through here,” I pleaded with her as I pressed another silver Mark into her hand.
“I hope this will make it worth your while,” I added.
“Oh, yes, of course!” She replied. “I won’t tell a soul.”
I thanked her profusely for her help and locked the door, replacing the bar as soon as she left.
I had no doubt that when the Bloody Hearts came into town, she would tell them everything she could, and that my attempt to buy her silence would only play into my deception. I counted that one silver Mark as money well spent to make good on my plan.
The food turned out to be quite good. Not as good as The Fat Pig, or The Golden Table, but still delicious. I wondered if it truly wasn’t as good, or if, like training my Perception skill, I was merely becoming accustomed to the more intense flavors.
I left the idle thoughts aside and instead, took my time enjoying the meal. When I had finished, it had already begun to grow dark outside, so I lit a few of the candles in the room and sat back down to enjoy another mug of ale—my third. The brew was quite good, and I committed myself to savoring this one last night of comfort I had before undertaking the much more spartan road that lay ahead of me.
My plan was to leave Holly early in the morning and head up the road for Morada. I would make it seem as if I was trying to be discreet, all the while failing spectacularly. After traveling a short way towards Morada, I planned to then cut cross-country. After approximately a day traveling through the woods, I should reach a small road that went towards the city of Sota. I would then shadow that smaller road, keeping to the forests and further training my skills. Hopefully, I would find a small town along the way where I could settle in for a while and try to level-up in relative safety.
At least that was the plan I had starting the next morning. But for that night, I intended to have one last relaxing evening before I settled in for a sound night’s sleep. Considering the road ahead of me, I would certainly need it. But for that moment I simply relaxed and enjoyed the ale—it was refreshing and had a pleasant taste of hops, and when my mug was empty, I poured myself another.
After finishing the last of the ale, I decided it was time for bed. But as I tried to rise from my chair, I nearly lost my balance. The strong ale had managed to sneak up on me, and I realized I was more than slightly drunk. Not that it mattered since I still had many hours until morning, and I could just sleep it off.
As I clumsily stripped down to my top and bottom undergarments, I had to sit down heavily on the bed to avoid falling over. Fumbling for my nightdress, I had it halfway over my head when I realized something. While I usually slept with both my top and bottom undergarments on, I had slept much more comfortably last night in just the nightdress and bottoms.
Originally, I had hesitated to remove my undergarments due to my old misplaced feelings of self-consciousness about being in ‘Dreya’s’ body, but I had since dismissed those concerns. This body was mine, and I didn’t need to feel strange or uncomfortable with it. The only remaining reason for my reluctance was my apprehension regarding the powerful reaction I had to physical contact.
On my first night in this world, my own hand casually brushing against my skin had been intense enough. Then Ella’s gentle graze across my breast had brought such a sensation of extreme pleasure and fervent desire that I had almost I lost control of myself. I had been nearly unable to rein in the strong desire her touch had provoked in me. If I had failed to do so, the consequences might have been catastrophic for me.
I knew that losing control was very risky for me—every time I momentarily froze while focusing on my Perception, I was vulnerable. That vulnerability was why I had been working so hard on my transitions, attempting to desensitize myself to the overwhelming sensations. And at that moment, my drunken mind hit upon something.
Shouldn’t I be able to desensitize myself to touch in the same way?
I was about to venture forth into the wilds for an unknown amount of time. There would be no comforts, little respite, and a great deal of danger. Perhaps a little fun was in order, I drunkenly reasoned, and when I could find no fault with it, I flung the nightdress away awkwardly and fell backwards onto the bed.
I paused momentarily, hesitant and unsure. But that moment of indecision passed quickly, and I slowly trailed my hands along the taut skin of my stomach and up towards the laces that held my bra together. The thrill of my fingers playing across the soft skin of my body sent an incredible shudder of arousal through my entire being, and my back arched in response as I instinctively reacted to the powerful wave of desire that flooded into me.
When my fingers reached the laces, I began tugging at them almost frantically. My drunken efforts were rewarded when the cloth finally yielded to my clumsy efforts and released me from its grasp. I greedily cupped one breast in each hand and caressed them softly as my fingers alternately glided over delicate skin and tugged gently at my nipples. Waves of ecstasy rolled through my body, and the intense sensations I felt were overwhelming and far beyond anything I had anticipated. I reeled in delight from the pleasure of feeling my own smooth, delicate skin, and the sublime ecstasy of experiencing that touch at the same time. The competing pleasures roiled inside me, threatening to drown me in a sea of intense desire. All my reactions became purely instinctive as the intense passions that stirred inside me took over, and I licked my lips in satisfaction as low moans unconsciously escaped from between my slightly parted lips.
While one of my hands continued to gently caress my breast, reveling in the contrast between the soft, bare skin and the hardness of my nipple, the other wandered slowly down my torso. Shivers of delight ran through my body as I traced along the outline of my ribs and only grew stronger as my fingers descended further down past the silky skin of my abdomen.
The thrill of the contact continued to build, and the waves of passion turned into raging torrents of desire as my hand slid slowly below my waist. A wave of tremors ran through me, and my thighs reflexively spread apart, desperate for me to continue.
The sheer intensity of the sensations that were flooding into me quickly overwhelmed me, and only seconds later the unbridled power of my touch sent me careening over the edge. I bit down hard on my lip to stifle a scream that threatened to burst forth as rolling waves of sheer ecstasy pulsed through my entire being in a frenzy of climax as my hips rocked gently in time with the soft spasms of my release.
After what seemed like an eternity, the pulsing waves of rapture began to ebb, slow
ly releasing me from their exquisite pleasure. When they finally passed, I could only lay still in my bed, overcome by the incredible sensations before my body trembled in one final shudder, and I let out a soft gasp of utter satisfaction. In my mind, I held the dead man’s memories of thousands of romantic encounters, but none of them could hold a candle to the intensity of what I had just experienced.
Still slightly drunk, and now both utterly content and exhausted, I collapsed limply on the bed and slowly drifted off into sleep.
17
I woke up the next morning in a tangle of sheets, bra undone and with my panties around my knees—it was certainly an interesting way to start the day.
And I actually felt really good, great in fact. My orgasm had relieved a great deal of my stress and tension, but some vague memories from the dead man recalled feelings of guilt regarding pleasuring one’s self. I thought that was just ridiculous since my life for the foreseeable future was going to be one of challenges and hardship. Things were going to be very difficult for me, and they would be even more so if I couldn’t be comfortable enjoying the simple pleasures of a good release. Even so, I knew there wouldn’t be many occasions where I would feel safe enough to do so again, and I was glad that I had taken advantage of the opportunity.
It was still quite early when I woke up, so I decided to get ready and have a decent breakfast at the inn before hitting the road. Once I was dressed and had gathered all my gear, I headed downstairs.
The dining room was sparsely occupied, and I made a show of forgetting to put my hood up before sitting at a secluded table. I ordered a quick breakfast and some tea and made sure to mention that I was in a hurry to be on the road. The food was simple, but it was still very tasty, and I regretted that my need for deception prevented me from savoring it more. When I finished, I paid for my meal and hurriedly rushed out of the inn.
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