The full implications of my realization stunned me. I had been focused on learning to control how I reacted to touching someone and the effects that my touch had on them, and while I knew that part of that involved controlling my own desires, I hadn’t realized just how much those desires impacted the passion I inflicted. Not only that, but my efforts so far were limited to dealing with how I affected other people. I had done nothing yet to address my own reaction when someone inevitably touched me. I had foolishly assumed that my control would work both ways, and suddenly wondered if I needed to treat them as two completely separate issues.
“I recognize that look, Dreya,” Tási said as she matched my pace. “What are you thinking?”
I couldn’t hide much from her anymore. With all the time we had been spending together, Tási had learned to read my expressions almost as well as Venna had been able to.
Taking a deep breath, I confessed my thoughts to her—all of them. The realization that my own thoughts and passions influenced the intensity of my touch, my fear that I had been overlooking many aspects of my issues, and the sense of dread I had in even contemplating addressing them. I let out another deep sigh as I finished relating my concerns, and we walked together in silence a while longer before Tási replied.
“I am not an expert in these matters,” Tási finally responded. “Nobody is. The closest thing you have to one is Venna, and as difficult as it may be for you, as difficult as it is for me to recommend it, I think you need to ask for her advice.”
“Tási,” I protested, “The only way for me to deal with this requires that I find someone willing to not only endure the consequences of my contact, but someone also willing to inflict those same consequences upon me—not only to merely endure them, but to resist them as well. To dole them out in small doses, while resisting the incredible desire to let them run their course.”
“You think I don’t understand that?” She replied.
“And before you say anything else,” Tási added with a smirk, “you need to know that I will be truly offended if you decide to pursue this course of action without me.”
“As much as you are aware Tási, you have not tasted the full power of my passion yet,” I told her gravely.
“No, I suppose that I haven’t,” she replied softly. “But I am willing to if it means I can help you overcome this burden.”
“Now go,” she added with a smile. “Go talk to your bitchy little elf friend before you lose your nerve.”
She kept smiling as she prodded me in Venna’s direction. I knew she was right, that Venna was the best counsel for me regarding all things Sintári, but I was still upset with Venna over her accusations and unwilling to admit that I needed her advice. Succumbing to the realization that my needs overrode my preferences, I sauntered over to walk beside Venna as we trailed along with the rest of the caravan.
Venna accepted my unexpected arrival silently, not wanting to jeopardize the sudden closeness. She waited patiently for me to begin our conversation, and while I hesitated, we soon found ourselves walking together in silence, matching each other’s steps pace for pace as we so often had in the past.
“I have a problem, Venna,” I eventually confessed. “And I find myself needing your counsel more than I ever have before.”
“What happened, Dreya?” She asked, her voice full of concern. “I know you would not come to me now if it were not something very important.”
Tási had agreed to let me explain at least a little of what I had been doing to help her in order to allow Venna to understand what had happened. Reluctantly, I related my concerns. When I had told her all I could, Venna paused to consider everything I had said before responding.
“Unfortunately, I think you are correct,” she began. “It seems obvious that your own state of mind influences both the nature and intensity of your touch. If you are to gain any measure of control over these effects, you must become the master of not only your body, but your mind as well.”
“If you are serious about this, that means not only continuing your sessions with Tási, but also adding to them. You will also need sessions of your own—sessions where you are on the receiving end of the physical contact.”
“You will have to eventually move on to more… intimate contact if you want to achieve complete control, and since you have already started down this path with Tási, it seems logical that you continue working with her if she is willing to do so.”
Up until that last sentence, nothing that she said had truly surprised me. But knowing how much Venna wanted to rebuild our relationship, I was truly shocked that she willingly volunteered Tási for such intimate closeness.
“You seem surprised,” Venna said calmly. “I told you I would be working very hard to regain your trust. That includes giving you my honest opinion about what is best for you, regardless of my own feelings on the matter.”
“I’m just shocked you did not volunteer yourself,” I said honestly.
“It’s not that I’m not willing,” she laughed. “You know that well enough. But you have made some progress working with her, so I think you will be better served continuing to do so. And there is one other thing I haven’t told you yet.”
“Oh?” I said curiously.
“Yes,” she smiled mischievously. “At some point, you will obviously need to test your abilities with someone other than Tási.”
She was right. The manipulative little elf was absolutely correct about that. I looked at her and she winked back at me slyly. All I could do was let out a deep sigh of frustration as Venna laughed at my discomfort.
“Don’t feel bad, Dreya,” she offered. “As I told you before, you just have a certain effect on the people around you.”
“But I didn’t want any of this!” I protested. “Sure, I wanted to have friends, companions, maybe even someone special. But I never sought to manipulate people into anything like this!”
“Haven’t we had this conversation already Dreya?” She replied. “If I have been manipulated, it is only in the most subtle of ways. Nothing I have done cries out against my nature, and even knowing that other forces are involved, I would not change a thing, save my own regrettable actions the other night.”
“I can’t help but feel that people are somehow being compelled to act in my interest instead of their own,” I protested.
“No Dreya, that is not the case at all,” Venna replied, shaking her head.
“I have never felt compelled to do anything for you,” she continued. “I have only ever wanted to do my best for you, to truly help you. Not just for your sake, but for my own as well. What you inspire in me is not a sense of obligation, but a firm desire for me to be better. You bring out our best intentions, making us want to be more than we are. I cannot resent anything that helps me do that, and you shouldn’t either.”
“But this, whatever it is,” I said feebly, “between you, Tási, and me, I never wanted anything like this!”
“Dreya,” Venna replied softly. “I don’t think any of what happens is about providing you with what you want. It’s about providing you with what you need.”
“I will not pretend to understand any of it, or to be able to see into our futures, but before this is all over, I have no doubt that everything that has transpired will have provided you with some benefit. My conviction in that belief is so strong that I am willing to take a back seat for now trusting that, in time, the fates will place me where I am needed most.”
We continued walking in pace as I let Venna’s words roll through my mind. It was all so confusing, and yet, made perfect sense. I knew what I needed to do, I just had to accept it. Finally, I gave in, knowing that despite my misgivings, she was correct as usual.
I smiled to myself as I eased over closer to Venna and extended my hand. The offer surprised her, but she recovered quickly and grasped me firmly in return. As we walked hand in hand, neither of us spoke, allowing the tentative truce between us time to take root. I caught a glimpse of Tási in the cor
ner of my eye as Venna and I continued walking together. She had that strange, unreadable expression once again, and I could only wonder about what it might mean.
The remainder of the day passed slowly, and I made an effort to spend equal amounts of time with both Tási and Venna. The moments I walked with Venna were still somewhat strained by our recent conflict and the harsh words we had spoken to each other. I expected my time with Tási to be much easier, but after my conversation with Venna, she had become somewhat distant.
The caravan finally halted as the sun began to set, and we made camp for the night in a clearing beside the road. The reason for our slow plodding became apparent as I realized that the pace was dictated more by the location of the fortified campsite rather than any other considerations.
As with the other caravans we traveled with, we had made a point of trying to gain friends among the merchants. Although most were decent people, we hadn’t managed to create any meaningful relationships among them, so without a particular wagon in mind, we set up our own little camp among the many others that sprang up around the caravan’s perimeter. As I lay my usual web of traps around our campsite, the familiar chime of a notification rang out. Opening the window quickly, I read the note.
You have reached 40% proficiency in the Spell, Create Trap. New options for this Spell are now available to you.
I immediately summoned my personal sheet and focused on the Create Trap Spell to see what had changed and was pleasantly surprised.
Now, in addition to the entangling vines, I also had the option to place a trap that would reveal a spike pit beneath the feet of anyone unfortunate enough to be caught within its radius. Along with the new type of trap, the area of effect of my traps had increased, and I also gained the option to add a simple condition to the automatic trigger. The condition had to be very basic, such as requiring two people to step within its bounds rather than just one, but it still served to expand my repertoire.
I closed the windows and finished placing my last few traps, adding one of the new spike pits into the mix. Once completed, I returned to camp, joining my friends for a quick dinner before we would retire for the evening. Since the guards would handle watch duties for the entire caravan, we looked forward to getting a full night’s rest before repeating the long day’s march again tomorrow.
Both Tási and Venna were remarkably quiet during our meal, though I managed to catch both of them casting furtive glances at each other the entire time we ate. Clearly there was still tension between them, which had only increased with my revelations. Yet another sigh of frustration escaped me as I dreaded the continued friction between them and the inevitable conflict it would cause. While the others seemed unaware, both women took notice of my exasperation and were immediately back on their best behavior.
As our night drew to a close, Stel made an announcement. With all the recent conflict, the more positive note of his news was a welcome distraction.
“It has been a while, so some of you may have forgotten that there is still the matter of the proceeds from some loot to be distributed,” he began.
“About time,” Khorim grumbled, making it clear he was not one of those who had let the matter slip his mind.
“Well,” Stel continued unperturbed, “tonight I have your shares ready for you.”
Stel handed out the little pouches I had become so familiar with. Apparently, he saved all of them that we recovered for just this purpose. I handed mine back to him after dumping the contents into my own pouch, only bothering to check the total afterwards.
Coin pouch, Soul Bound:
22 Talons, 51 Gold Bits, 213 Silver Marks, 98 Silver Bits, 224 Coppers
Even after dividing the proceeds seven ways, one for each member plus the group’s general fund, we had each profited by well over ten Talons from our encounter with the bandits.
Remembering that the skirmish had cost us Otney’s life made it difficult to truly enjoy the windfall, but I couldn’t ignore my growing wealth either. While the sum seemed quite substantial compared to the meager funds I had begun with, I knew that my current gaudy finances were insufficient to purchase even the next level of armor above my present set. Prices rose steeply as the available armor and weapons grew in power, and I was fortunate to have gotten an upgraded bow from the Defiler’s corpse.
Although my friends had promised to buy any equipment I needed, I fully intended to deny them the opportunity. I planned to purchase my next upgrade secretly, spending my own funds on the purchase before they could have an opportunity to object, but that was a matter for another time; right now, it was time for bed.
I slipped inside our tent to find Tási was already waiting for me inside. Her face was a mask to me, bearing her unreadable expression once more. When I saw her begin to gesture, casting her Spell of silence, I knew we were in for a difficult discussion. Once her magic was complete, she wasted no time.
“What, exactly, did she tell you?”
While I understood her question, I did not appreciate Tási’s tone, and I told her so in no uncertain terms.
“You may recall that the reason for the current friction between Venna and I came about because of her jealousy,” I replied to her sternly. “By the tone of your voice, you seem to be determined to make the same mistake she did.”
My response clearly caught Tási off guard. She stuttered for a moment, seeking the proper response. Rather than watch as she stumbled, I chose to answer her question instead.
“She offered much the same advice we had discussed,” I explained as Tási listened closely. “She said I needed to learn how to control not only my body’s responses, but my mind’s as well, and that I would need to learn to master the ability to retain that control while I touched someone as well as when I am touched by another. Just as we suspected.”
“And I’m sure she had someone in mind for these lessons,” Tási replied sarcastically.
“Yes, she did.” I answered, returning her sarcastic tone. “She suggested you. Although I’m beginning to doubt the wisdom of that suggestion.”
“She—she what?” Tási sputtered again.
“You heard me,” I replied. “Because we are already working on at least part of the problem, she felt you were the obvious choice. If you were willing, that is.”
Clearly taken by surprise, Tási bowed her head for a moment before responding.
“I apologize for my rudeness. If you would forgive me, I would be honored if you would allow me to help you,” she finally said quietly.
“Tási,” I replied softly, “whatever is at work between the three of us, it evokes powerful emotions in each of us. I would have never expected you to express such jealously, just as I had never expected it from Venna. I can see now just how important the two of you are to me, and how you each may need to watch as the other rises from time to time.”
“I need to know that I can count on you, Tási, to be there for me not only during the times when you want to be, but even more so in the times that I may need Venna’s help the most. I need you Tási, but only if you can accept that I need Venna as well.”
“You are right,” Tási replied, speaking slowly. “I have never felt so many intense feelings as I have since I met you. Yet even with all the turmoil they create inside me, I wouldn’t let them go if it meant losing you too.”
“I am yours, Dreya,” she said firmly. “Not because you want me to be, but because it’s what I want. If Venna means that much to you, I will accept her as well and put our differences behind us so that we can work together to help you.”
“Thank you, Tási,” I said as a tear rolled down my face. Her words were filled with conviction, and the woman’s sincerity had truly touched me.
We hugged for a moment, reinforcing our bonds with the warm embrace before laying down for the night. We talked briefly for a while about how we would manage our new schedule, adding my own training to Tási’s treatments. We decided not to try and double-up, at least not at first. Attempting to do bo
th in the same night would likely prove too much, and in these early stages, allowing things to go too far would be counterproductive for both of us. Maybe at some later time, perhaps when I was ready to test my limits, but that time was a long way off. Instead, we decided to alternate, letting Tási begin to tentatively acclimate me to her touch one night, while I treated her addiction on the next.
I was completely nervous about the entire process and made Tási swear to stop as soon as I told her to, or at the earliest sign that I was being overwhelmed by the contact. She promised, but found the idea more amusing than I was comfortable with. Resigned to having to trust myself in her hands, I rolled myself up in my blankets and closed my eyes.
“Um, Dreya?” Tási prompted me.
“What is it?”
“If I have our schedule right, tomorrow is my next session, right?” She said with an odd expression.
“Yes, it is,” I replied.
“Well, I mean if we’re alternating nights, doesn’t that make tonight your turn?”
Technically she was correct, and by the tone in her voice I could tell she not only knew it but was looking forward to her first opportunity to return some of the discomfort I had inflicted on her. But I knew better than her what to expect, and wasn’t so eager to begin.
“You’re right Tási,” I responded. “But I just can’t. I was not expecting to have to deal with this today, and I need a little time to adjust to what we are going to be doing.”
“I thought you’d chicken out,” Tási laughed. “I’ll let you out of it this time, but if you even try to back out next time, I’m going to put my hands all over you, like it or not.”
“No, no, no, Tási!” I said, surrendering under her threat. “You need to be very careful, especially the first few times we try this!”
“And I promise I will be,” she said with a coy smile. “I will do exactly what you tell me to, and no more, but only if you don’t try to back out anymore.”
“That sounds like a threat to me,” I protested.
“Make no mistake Dreya—it is a threat. One I am perfectly willing to carry out. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, and I’m not going to let you get away from me now,” she said seriously.
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