“He’s already tried to have me killed several times, Líann,” I informed her.
“That certainly changes things,” she mused. “I would accept his request for a meeting if I were you. Let him see how futile it is to pit himself against your Empire. He was particularly bothersome to me for a while when he thought he could buy my affections, so I would truly enjoy sitting in on your conference if you would allow me. Perhaps as your advisor? It would definitely irk him to see me there and know that I sided with a mere human.”
“Thank you for your advice, Líann,” I replied to her. “I think that I will do exactly as you suggest.”
I let the matter drop at that and returned my attention to the food for a moment. Líann only took a few tentative bites before cautiously asking me a question.
“Did you, by chance, give Thelmé a rather… unusual directive?”
“I wonder what might make you think that, Líann,” I replied innocently. “Did something happen?”
“Oh,” she slouched as she responded. “I see that you did.”
“Tell me what happened,” I coaxed her.
“Thelmé… chastised me,” Líann uttered in astonishment.
“Did you deserve it?” I asked her pointedly. “Was she right to correct you?”
“That’s not the point,” she replied sharply. “She’s just a servant. She had no right to tell me what is or is not correct!”
“Líann, she may be a servant, but she’s still a person, just like you,” I took my own turn chastising the privileged woman. “You seem to be under the impression that your superior station in life somehow makes you a superior being—it doesn’t. You may be her Queen, but you’re no better than her, and she’s entitled to be treated with a certain amount of dignity and respect.”
As I finished speaking, Líann rocked back in her chair as if I’d shoved her. She’d obviously only thought of her inferiors as lesser things, and my words shocked her.
“I never considered that,” she finally said in a bare whisper. “Even when I first dealt with you, I never thought of you as a person, only as something to be obtained. It wasn’t until you… rebuked me that I was forced to take your feelings into account. And only then just barely.”
“I’m sure you can see how your lack of empathy might make people dislike you, Líann,” I gently prompted her.
“No, I don’t think that I can,” she replied with surprising insight. “Not yet at least. It will require a great deal of consideration on my part before even that is possible.”
She seemed quite lost in her sudden discovery, and I studied her for a moment as she silently pondered its meaning. Her words revealed an impressive amount of awareness on her part, and I was reminded that even though she was a grade-A bitch, the woman was both intelligent and well-versed. Without the armor of her formal attire, she looked almost vulnerable as she sat there, so I rose from my seat and took the chair beside her.
She looked up at me despondently as I sat down, and I couldn’t help but feel compassion for her in that moment. Líann’s world had been turned upside down repeatedly over the last two days, and she was clearly lost in the jumble of conflicted emotions those events had stirred up. With all the wisdom and experience I had accrued over the last few months, I reached over and took her hand in mine and did the most ridiculously stupid thing I possibly could have; I sent her a thin tendril of compassion and support.
I simply couldn’t help myself—she was absolutely pathetic in her misery, and when she stared at me so helplessly, it tugged at my heartstrings and I felt compelled to reach out to her. I’d like to blame my actions on the same forces that had driven her to me, and perhaps they did play some small role in pushing me to act so rashly. But in truth, the real force behind my ill-advised attempt to console her was my own innate sympathy, driven in no small part by the attraction I felt for her.
If I was being honest with myself, the only thing that kept me from being with her the previous night was her poor choice of words. Líann was stunningly beautiful, with the lithe and graceful figure that was unique to her people, and when she bared the subtle curves of her body to me that night, my desire for her burned hot inside me. If it wasn’t for her selfish ranting, we would have already been lovers.
While the tendril I sent her was the tiniest thread I could possibly manage, I still felt the connection between us immediately come to life. The little tendril surged with energy as a link between us formed, and I instantly knew just what a terrible mistake I’d made in trying to reach out to her so soon.
Líann had not mischaracterized her visions, and I saw each of them flash before my eyes through our shared link. Only this time, with the connection between us firmly in place, instead of the figure by her side being shrouded and indistinct, I could see that it was me, standing beside her in each and every one of her memories.
My tendril flared with the energy that flowed between us, and in addition to seeing her visions, I felt Líann herself for the first time. Despite my intentions, the thin band of compassion I sent to her morphed into something far more powerful, and I experienced something of the woman herself.
I assumed that her emotions would have been dominated by the haughty and arrogant attitude that she displayed so openly, but instead, what I found inside her was a lost and lonely soul, bereft of any real support and isolated by her lifelong pursuit of the visions of her future love. In addition to her solitary upbringing, she had intentionally set herself apart from others, relying instead on the promise of her visions to eventually provide her with the comfort she so desperately needed, but had denied herself.
The thread between us pulsed with one final burst of energy, sealing us together with the link it had created; or perhaps that had always been there. Seeing Líann’s visions made me understand more fully the depth of the bond between us, and just how long it had been in the making. Her dreams stretched back in time long before I’d come into existence, a fact that humbled me greatly and made me reconsider my place in this world. Then, as the final burst of energy dimmed, the connection I had so carelessly established ended, and I found myself staring into her pale blue eyes.
Those enticing eyes only grew larger in my vision until I felt Líann’s soft, warm lips press against mine. The shock of her contact broke me from my trance, and despite the longing I had for her, and how seductive her delicate kiss was, I pulled back and held her away from me.
“What’s wrong?” She asked in confusion as I stood up and paced away from her.
“I fucked up—that’s what’s wrong, Líann!” I snapped at her.
“I don’t understand,” she plead as she rose and walked towards me. “You saw it for yourself. Everything. All my visions, and I saw you this time, right there with me.”
“I know,” I whispered as I took another step away from her. “I’m not saying it’s not real, Líann. And I won’t lie to you and tell you that I don’t want it to be real either, but it’s too soon. I’m not ready for this right now, and you’re not ready for me either.”
“Why does any of that matter?” Líann continued after me. “We belong together.”
“What I told you the other night is still true, Líann,” I told her bluntly. “Despite what I just saw, I’m not going to let you take Tási’s place, or undermine her in any way. Whatever happens, whatever may develop between us, you will have to come to terms with that.”
“And our relationship isn’t going any further until you prove to me that you are capable of treating people the right way. As equals, if not in station, then at least as individuals.”
Instead of pursuing the issue further as I anticipated, Líann only smiled at me. And it wasn’t an awkward, uncomfortable grin either, but more like the broad smile of the cat who’d just cornered a mouse.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked uneasily as she completely relaxed, and all signs of her former distress vanished.
“You didn’t say that things between us aren’t going to pro
gress, Empress,” she purred as she casually picked up my glass and took a deep sip of wine from it. “Only that I had to learn your lessons first.”
“I told you that I’ve waited a long time for you,” she said as she sat back down again, totally at ease. “Now that I’ve found you, I can wait a little bit longer.”
Well, dammit if the tables hadn’t been completely turned on me. I’d brought Líann here, in part, to let her know how things were going to be between us, and due to my own weakness and lack of restraint, it was her who was letting me know just how things were going to unfold.
“Perhaps we should stop now,” I sighed. “I think we both have a great deal to consider, and you have a lot of work to do refining your people skills.”
“I shall take to Thelmé’s lessons with a new sense of urgency, Empress,” she let my title roll off her tongue as she got up to take her leave.
“And if you don’t mind,” she added as she reached the door. “I’m going to keep this little outfit. I find that it suits me well and will remind me of what we shared today every time I put it on. I’ll leave my gown for you in exchange; perhaps you might see fit to wear it for me sometime.”
Her glance back at me as she closed the door told me all I needed to know—she knew that we were bound together from that moment on, and that all she had to do was bide her time and overcome the hurdles I had set before her to make her wishes come true. I, on the other hand, had to figure out how I was going to deal with the total mess I’d made of things.
Tási, Venna, and Ella were going nowhere, but sooner or later I was going to have to figure out where Líann would fit into things. And she wasn’t just another lover whose wants and needs I’d have to consider. She was a Queen destined to be with me many decades before the dead man even thought of creating my template in his stupid game.
What the hell had I been thinking when I sent her that fucking tendril? She was fire, a damn raging inferno sitting next to me, and I’d carelessly poured fuel on those flames like an idiot. I simply couldn’t allow myself to ever do that again. If I had an inkling, or even the barest suspicion that there was an attraction between myself and someone else, I could never risk that again. The potential consequences were just more than I could bear anymore; for myself, for the people I loved, and for whomever the unfortunate victim of my rogue powers might be.
But, as was all too often the case, my insights came to me just a bit too late. The damage had already been done, and all I could do was pick up the pieces. My link with Líann had been forged, and that connection would eventually grow into something much stronger, of that I had no doubt. All I could try to do was control just when and how that happened, and do my absolute best to prevent it from ever causing Tási any pain.
“There was nothing you could do, Dreya,” Nentai’s familiar and strangely comforting words came from behind me as I paced the room. “She was destined for you. All you did was perhaps speed things up a little.”
“You could have warned me!” I snapped in frustration.
“As you may recall, Empress,” Nentai chided me gently. “I did warn you about precisely this issue, although even I wasn’t aware of Líann’s visions until she told you herself.”
“Please tell me she’s the last,” I implored her. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to any of them, especially Tási.”
“I can’t tell you what you want to hear, Dreya,” Nentai replied to me. “I don’t have the answer to the question you’re asking me. But if I had to guess, I would say that Líann will be the last of them, at least for a while.”
“For a while?” I responded in frustration. “What does that even mean?”
“You are one of the Deathless, Dreya, and a Sintári on top of that,” Nentai reminded me. “I honestly have no idea how that combination, and your own uniqueness, will affect your lifespan or even how you age.
“The Sintári of old lived for hundreds of years, and I would anticipate that you will live at least that long as well. But you are also one of the Deathless, and your birth in the magic of the Great Barrier will more than likely lend you even more… vigor.”
“I know that you’re only trying to help me, Nentai, and I appreciate that,” I sighed as I sat down heavily in my chair. “But that’s not what I needed to hear right now.”
“It’s exactly what you needed to hear,” she admonished me. “You’re focusing too much on right now and ignoring the long-term. Over the centuries of your life, you will love many different people, Dreya. And you will lose them all eventually, but how you choose to perceive that fact will be up to you. You can dwell on the pain of their eventual loss, or you can cherish each of them for as long as possible.”
“I told you that your love will be a gift to those you choose to share it with,” Nentai recalled our past conversation for me. “But theirs will also be a gift to you in return. You can squander it worrying about things you have no control over, or you can make the most of it for as long as it lasts.”
“It’s not an easy thing that you’re asking of me,” I replied after I let her words roll around in my head for a while. The thought of living for centuries, and possibly longer was daunting, and knowing that I would love and lose repeatedly during those long years was even more unnerving.
“Do you think I don’t know that already?” Nentai replied pointedly.
What an idiot I was. Of course she knew what she was asking of me. The Goddess was already thousands of years old, and her only contemporaries were her own siblings. Any love she’d shared over those nearly endless years would have been with mortals from this world, all of whom would have died in the relative blink of an eye for her.
“How do you deal with it?” I asked cautiously.
“I don’t,” she confessed. “At least I haven’t in quite some time. It stopped being worth the pain of loss a long time ago, at least for me. But you’re different, Dreya, you thrive on love. You need to feel it, that’s part of who you are. I don’t think you’ll ever stop needing it, and that’s why I’m telling you all this. You’re going to have to be stronger than I am, to find some way to deal with the loss and move on. Because without someone beside you to lend you strength, you will wither away to nothing.”
“And I thought Líann had given me a lot to consider,” I smiled at her weakly.
“I’m truly sorry to have caused you so much distress,” Nentai soothed. “Would you like me to set your mind at ease, as I did for you before?”
“While I appreciate your offer, and that would probably help me, there is still so much left for me to do today,” I replied with regret. “Answering Gilfri’s request being the most pressing of those issues.”
“Then I will leave you to tend to your affairs, Empress,” Nentai responded as she shimmered and vanished from my sight.
I stared blankly at the wall for a few moments before I finally got up and left the room. When I left the chamber, I immediately went to see Talína, and delivered Gilfri’s request to her.
“I need you to draft an appropriate response to the King of Olóra.” I said as I handed her the parchment. “Let him know that I accept his offer to come here.”
“Of course, Empress,” Talína replied. “I will keep you informed of any additional correspondence I receive on this matter, and I have already taken care of the other issue you asked me to handle for you. I will let you know when I receive a response from Queen Nadiel.”
“You are most efficient, Talína,” I complimented her. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure, Empress,” she replied.
It was kind of nice to have someone who could handle the minor issues for me. While it still left me with all the truly weighty matters, being relieved of the burden of the minutia was liberating. I hadn’t counted on the matter of Gilfri being so easily addressed, so I altered my plans and headed for the Garrison.
As Aiva and the rest of my guards followed me down the stairs, I realized how foolish it was of me to refuse Nentai’s offer to hel
p me clear my thoughts. When she had put me to sleep that one time before, I had rested peacefully and woken up with a sense of ease. It was as if the entire time that I’d slept, my mind had worked on the troubles I’d faced, and come to a resolution without me having to endure the emotionally difficult process. I’d forgotten that I had acquired Talína’s services that morning and anticipated that I would have to draft a carefully worded response to Gilfri’s letter myself—something that I found rather difficult to do. Instead, I’d been able hand off the task to Talína, who’d probably have a perfectly written letter finished in no time.
We arrived at the Garrison quickly, and as a diversion for my mind, I headed for the forge as soon as we got there. Aiva almost missed a step when she realized the destination I had in mind, and I smiled at her slyly as we approached the building.
“Hello Hilgreth, Georl!” I called out to the smiths as we arrived. “What have you got in the fire today?”
“Just building up our stocks, Empress,” Hilgreth replied. “We have enough for everyone right now, but with the way things are going, there’ll be more before you know it.”
“And what about you, Georl?” I prompted him in a teasing voice. “What’s been heating your fires lately?”
“Umm… coal, Empress?” He fumbled as his cheeks flushed green.
“Come now,” I taunted. “Isn’t there anything special you’ve been keeping warm?”
“She knows, Georl,” Aiva confessed as she stared at the ground beneath her feet, ruining my fun.
“Aiva!” I scolded her. “I wasn’t done with him yet!”
“Sorry,” she replied sheepishly.
“I’ve been enjoying having a little bit of girl-talk with Aiva recently, Georl,” I explained to the suddenly befuddled smith. “She’s very special to me, so I’ll be quite disappointed if you mistreat her in any way.”
“I would never do such a thing,” he protested.
“No, I don’t suppose you would,” I replied in amusement. “Actually, I’m quite certain that you’re not even capable of that.”
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