The incredible sensation of the near absence of my darkness made me realize a hard reality: Líann’s ability to absorb a portion of my V’Ríel, while both helpful and impressive, was limited in one very important respect. While she was able to ease my burden and even buy me some time, only actually using my powers to kill or in battle truly took away the darkness inside me. As long as I had a war on the horizon, there was hope for me to be able to vent the shadows that haunted me. But what would happen to me after I finally achieved my goals and there was no more conflict? That day was far off, to be sure, but I was beginning to understand that my plans needed to be made, at least in part, on the scale of decades and even centuries. When the day came that I was able to bring peace to Arrika, would it also spell the beginning of the end for me?
Fuck. I just didn’t even want to think about that—yet it continued to haunt me as we slowly marched towards home.
The only diversion I had from the day-to-day monotony were the endless caravans we came across, some of which were already heading back to their homes in the horse lands. Word of events spread faster than we traveled, and with the war over far more quickly than anyone anticipated, nearly all of the former refugees began to return home. Even though some still chose to strike out for new lands, it seemed that Hygan and Zonnia would have most of their people back before too long.
“You’re a mess, Dreya, and I think I know, at least generally, what’s been bothering you.” Tási whispered to me one night. “She’s not my favorite subject, but I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”
I knew Líann was not a popular topic for her, so I hadn’t expressed the concerns that had been bothering me so much. But other than Tási, I really had no one else to confide in. Even though Ella and Venna were Tári, their bond with me was far less intense—Tási was the only one who’d truly understand just what Líann might be experiencing.
“Do you remember how bad it was for me by the time we got to Ondale?” I reminded her. “How I was nearly out of my mind with the darkness that had built up inside me?”
“I do,” I felt Tási shiver against me with the memory. “But you were able to get it out of you then. You’re fine now.”
“I’ve been able to vent,” I made my point to her. “She still hasn’t.”
“Oh,” she finally realized. “That’s not good. She’s your darkness.”
I couldn’t help it—her simple, yet stark words struck right at the heart of what had been eating away at me for days. The guilt and anxiety over what I’d done and the damage I’d caused and would continue to cause every day until I returned welled up inside me and burst forth in a flood of tears as I buried my face against Tási’s shoulder.
My tears turned to wracking sobs and I emptied all of my pent-up guilt and self-recriminations out while Tási held me close and tried to console me. My guilt only intensified as I realized that I was pouring out my feelings for Líann on Tási’s shoulder. Being Sintári and dealing with my Tári was a terribly complicated and delicate thing, and I had screwed it up—completely.
“We’ll get back to her as soon as we can,” Tási stroked my hair as she spoke to me softly. “And if there’s anything you need me to do to help her, I will. I know that you love her too, Dreya. That’s who we are now. It’s not just you and her and me and you. We’re not really separate—it’s all of us. We’re all in this together. The four of us are here for you, and you’re here for us in return. I may not fully understand being a Tári, but I’m coming to terms with it.”
“I think you may understand it even better than I do,” I said as I wiped away the last of my tears. “Thank you for saying that, Tási.”
Part of me had still been thinking of things in terms of human relationships. But the concept of monogamy and even polygamy didn’t come close to describing the relationship between a Sintári and their Tári. Just like there were no words to describe the feeling of cleansing each other’s V’Ríel, the deep bonds we shared were beyond the ability of mere words to explain. It had to be felt to truly be understood. Tási had made me recognize my mistake—I needed to think of my Tári in terms of how we made each other feel, and what we meant to each other, not in the restricted way that crude words allowed.
But the words Tási had spoken did ring true in one very important way. She’d been right to say that we were in this together. We were more like a single entity in some ways, linked together by our shared V’Ríel, with me in the center of it all, holding them together somehow. There was far more to it than that, but that was as deeply as my mind was prepared to delve into the intricate web of our connections just then.
I felt better after speaking my worries out loud, and even more so after I shed my tears and heard Tási’s caring and insightful words. When she nudged me over, I yielded to her immediately, and she sent her calming waters flowing across my back and shoulders as I lay still among the pillows. That night I fell asleep easily for the first time in many days, but that wasn’t the last time during our long trek home that Tási had to sooth my guilt as it continued to take hold over me while the days passed all too slowly.
We were over halfway home and passing through the unclaimed territory between Eória and Olóra when we heard the first howls echoing through the forest around us. While I recognized the deadly intent in those keening wails, I couldn’t quite recall where I’d heard them before. Then I heard the answering cries that rose up from among the ranks of our soldiers.
“Beastkin! Form up!”
The deformed creatures were one of the most terrible threats facing the people of Arrika, and we’d been lucky to not have encountered them before, but their menace could only be avoided for so long. Hordes of the foul monsters seemed to spring up from out of nowhere only to wreak havoc across the countryside, killing everything in their path and breeding indiscriminately with almost any person or creature they could.
While Evans and his officers hurried to shift our Army from its traveling formations into some sort of viable defensive perimeter, memories of the battle I fought by his side, my first true battle, came flooding back to me.
We’d nearly been overrun, although part of the reason that occurred was because the commander of the Citadel wanted it to happen, but still—even with the fortifications of that impressive structure, the reckless onslaught of the hideous creatures had been devastating. Out here in the open, without the protection of that structure’s high walls, even my great Army was in dire jeopardy.
The initial sounds we’d heard had come from the scouts and outliers of the beastkin pack that had stumbled across us. Those scattered few charged our lines before we could get organized, but despite their frenzied attack, their few numbers were easily dispatched by our archers and Evokers before they could do any damage. But it wasn’t those scattered attacks that concerned me as I stood among my archers with Retribution drawn. It was the horde they’d led to us that filled me with dread.
But Evans had instilled a sense of strict discipline and employed a harsh regimen when he trained our Army, and it paid off solidly as the soldiers were able to form up with impressive speed. A nearly solid wall of metal, bristling with the spear points of our second line of troops, was locked in place before the main body of the beastkin horde arrived. Archers and Evokers prepared to back them up with their deadly ranged attacks, and the skirmishers stood ready to protect our flanks and rear from any beastkin that approached them.
This assault would be unlike the more organized battle in Ondale—our enemy would employ no intricate strategies or tactics. Our survival depended on our ability to withstand the onslaught of their overwhelming numbers; nothing more. And while the sheer power of the God-forged arrows in the Quiver of the Elements was undeniable, those were meant to destroy individual targets, and didn’t provide the mass damage I needed for this battle. I intended to fire as many Shockwave arrows as I possibly could before resorting to the fire and ice arrows that had become my favorites, or possibly the earth-enhanced shafts, as
their impact effect might buy us some much-needed time under the right circumstances. But to do so meant I needed all of my Aura, so I dismissed Ridge and the other elemental I’d been holding with my summons, and my Aura began to immediately tick back up to its full level. I had seven, maybe eight shots I could launch if things went well before I’d exhaust that pool, and I needed to make every single one of them count.
The howls and screeches that had been rapidly closing in on us suddenly resolved into a seething horde of twisted and mutated bodies that surged towards us from the surrounding forest. It was almost impossible to discern any individual forms amid the rapidly charging mass of bodies as flashes of orc, elf, and other sentient body parts alternated with innumerable pieces from virtually every animal type I’d ever seen. Antlers and horns stuck out above the throng, while hooves, claws, and paws relentlessly powered their corrupted bodies forward.
The instant they appeared, I began targeting their leading edge with Shockwave enhanced arrows. I aimed my bolts slightly behind the advancing line of malformed creatures, disrupting not only those they disabled, but also many in the rushing throng behind them as they stumbled over the slew of stunned creatures lying in their path.
Arrows, flashes of fire, and bolts of lightning rained down among the horde as well, but the hideous throng still surged forward relentlessly, heedless of the grievous losses they were suffering under our withering attack.
The lead beastkin seemed to almost willingly impale themselves on the points of our spears just to allow the ones that followed to slam into the heavy armor of our front line. We held them off, barely, but just as fast as the spear-wielders could dislodge their weapons from the bodies of the fallen beastkin and slice through another, and our armored soldiers cut down the ones who got past them, the horde continued rushing forward.
With the battle fully engaged, I could no longer send Shockwave arrows into the beastkin, so I climbed atop one of the carriages, and sent fire, ice, and earth arrows into the tightly-packed throng of bodies. There was almost no need to aim at that point, and for the most part, I didn’t even bother. Picking out an individual target was nearly impossible among the roiling mass of indistinct body parts, and even if I took the time to do so, the beastkin probably would have already spent his life against our spears or swords. So, all I did was aim vaguely at the horde as it pressed forward and let my arrows strike whatever target they managed to find there.
On a whim, I fired an air-enhanced shaft, and was startled by its effects. I’d only hit lone individuals with one before, and never a tightly-packed mass like the beastkin presented. I thought its effects would be limited to the single individual it struck, but that was not the case. Every beastkin in direct contact with the one it struck, and there were many, also received the same devastating jolt of electricity as the actual target. Not only that, but the next layer of foes, those who were touching the secondary victims, were shocked as well, although they were not quite as badly damaged as the others. These tertiary victims only seemed to be disabled by the jolt, not killed like the others. But amid the beastkin horde, the end result was the same, as those who fell to the ground were quickly trampled to death by their brethren.
Once I recognized the full effect of these arrows, I used them exclusively, firing them into the compressed throng of bodies as rapidly as I could. The bodies of the dead and dying began piling up in front of us, just as they had during the battle at The Citadel, and we were forced to yield ground to avoid being overrun. Luckily, Evans had set our lines in anticipation of that eventuality, and we had ample clear ground behind us to back away slowly as we continued the slaughter.
But even then, the horde did not relent, and although they had come at us straight on, surging into the line we’d formed in anticipation of their assault, their numbers were so vast that they began pressing against our flanks, engaging the more lightly-armored skirmishers we’d placed there. There was nothing we could do but hope that those troops could hold the line; we had no reinforcements to send them. Every single one of us was already engaged with the enemy.
In front of me I saw Stel fighting along the front lines, a position he’d insisted on occupying, while behind him, Venna healed the injured who fell back to recover. Ella’s spear darted out time and again, taking beastkin in the throat or chest as she relentlessly slaughtered the creatures, and I did my best to watch over the three of them. Broda, Khorim, and Saibra were elsewhere, having chosen to fight alongside the skirmishers instead. For her part, Tási had also taken up a spot atop one of the carriages and joined her fellow Evokers as they charred and otherwise dispatched the beastkin with abandon.
I lost track of how many arrows I’d shot—truthfully, I never even bothered to count them, knowing beforehand that it would be a fruitless effort. But the air-enhanced shafts were having an effect; they provided a brief respite for our troops while the surging mass filled in the gaps the electric bolts created in their midst.
Shrieks of our wounded, and undoubtedly our dead as well, mixed with urgent howls of burning hate as the battle raged on. The front lines of both sides were painted in crimson red, and as we gave ground, the pursuing beastkins’ attack faltered slightly as they stumbled over the fallen bodies and slipped on the blood-soaked earth we left behind in our wake.
There came a point where, from my vantage point above the fray, I could see the approaching throng begin to thin out as the horde’s trailing elements finally emerged from the trees. My arms ached from the effort of drawing Retribution so many times, and I knew that my soldiers were even more exhausted from their exertions, but with the end in sight, my strength returned, and I began firing as rapidly as I could. We’d lost many lives in this battle, most of whom we’d had to abandon as we made our slow and steady withdrawal. Those bodies, if we could even find them, would be beyond saving. But now, with the end so close, if we could only hold fast, I might yet spare a few from sharing that awful fate.
Despite the inevitable end of their attack, the last press of beastkin bodies seemed to go on forever until finally, the few remaining monstrosities recognized the futility of their assault and vanished back into the forest. Nearly everyone simply collapsed right where they were, overcome with exhaustion and careless of what might be soaking the ground beneath them. None save a few Curates and other non-combatants had been spared the rigors of combat that day, and those were the only ones among us who began tending the wounded and searching for the dead who might still be saved.
The losses we suffered were grim, and most of our dead couldn’t even be properly identified. For them, the best we could do was search among the innumerable beastkin corpses for the scattered sections of armor we could find and give the remains that were left inside them a proper burial. Only a full roll call told us their names, and we honored them as best we could, with a proper funeral pyre several miles down the road, far away from the festering heap of monstrosities we left burning in a haphazard pile by the roadside.
That single fight cost us more than twice the number of dead as the entire battle for Ondale. Despite our valiant defense, well over 300 had fallen, and we’d only been able to restore a bare handful of them. The loses were tragic, and seemingly unnecessary—the beastkins’ only motivation was slaughter and reckless procreation. There was no higher purpose or even some evil design behind their attacks, only the burning desire to cause pain and suffering it seemed. It was all just so depressing and did nothing but add to the troubles that plagued my mind.
I found no solace at the prospect, but I thought at least it would provide a diversion for my mind when I was able to check my notifications that night.
Valued User: Due to the large volume of your pending notifications, level-up options have been delayed until after you’ve cleared them. We hope this slight modification improves your gaming experience.
Experience gained – You have gained 385 XP.
…
Experience gained – You have gained 385 XP.
Comman
der’s bonus – You have earned party credit for every kill made under your command or the direct command of one of your party members.
Experience gained – You have gained 49 XP.
…
Experience gained – You have gained 49 XP.
Boon, Saibra’s Oath – Saibra’s kills belong to you now, and you will receive full credit for every life she takes in your name. In addition to XP credit, you have also received a 1% bonus you may apply to any weapon or armor skill that you currently possess. However, this bonus may not be used to raise any skill above 60%.
Experience gained – You have gained 385 XP.
…
Experience gained – You have gained 385 XP.
You have 19 percentage points to distribute amongst your armor and weapons skills.
Quest completed – You have completed the hidden quest Weapon Master. By reaching 60% proficiency, you’ve become a true Master with a specific weapon. This is typically a difficult task, one that your Deathless status has made easier for you to achieve, but your skill cannot be denied. You have been rewarded with a 5% bonus that you may apply to any single bow Skill. This Quest is not repeatable.
You have gained a level! – You have earned sufficient experience to advance to level 39.
You have gained three Attribute points. Two of your points have been automatically assigned to DEX and CHA. You may assign the remaining point to any other Attribute as you see fit.
I’d done an awful lot of killing that day, so the only message that surprised me was the Weapon Master quest. While the level of proficiency I’d reached was impressive, achieving it hadn’t just fulfilled a quest requirement. I’d passed the threshold that would allow me to teach the skill as well, beyond the normal 20% training limit.
Weapon instruction had been on my mind for a while, and as with many things at the time, the reason for that centered around Líann. She alone among my Tári was essentially defenseless. While she had her own personal guards to protect her, Líann lacked even the most basic self-defense abilities. As my Táriel, and companion for life, that was a vulnerability I simply couldn’t afford her to have.
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