With no grave or important matters to discuss, the meal I shared with my companions was a more lighthearted affair than the night before. We laughed and joked, and our old camaraderie quickly returned as the wine and ale flowed freely. I missed Tási’s presence, but for the first time, it felt more like she was simply absent rather than lost to me forever. A thin smile crossed my lips as I reached inside one of the pockets of The Forest Cloak and let my fingers drift across the fabric of the Robes of the Evoker. The Artifact had appeared there after Tási had vanished, returning to me after her passing as its description had promised. I wasn’t sure when I would bestow them on anyone else, if ever, but their presence brought me comfort for the time being.
The night grew late, and once more, my companions and I were reluctant to leave each other. I bid them all farewell though and crushed Líann in a tight embrace before letting her leave. I was beginning to feel her absence and knew that I’d need Líann again all too soon. With my growing acceptance of Tási’s fate, I’d also felt the return of my V’Ríel—slowly, to be sure, but I recognized their subtle pull, nonetheless.
“Come, my bodyguard,” I winked at Saibra when it came time for us to leave. “Escort me to my tent.”
I’d spent enough time training with Saibra to know her every move, even if I couldn’t counter them. Her graceful and fluid motions were almost as familiar to me as my own reflection. So, when I saw her practically dragging her feet every step of the way, I couldn’t help but be amused by her obvious sense of discomfort. Here she was, a trained killer, slayer of hundreds and now my fearless protector, completely unnerved by the prospect of spending a few hours alone in my company. It was something of an ironic challenge for me, to make this fierce woman comfortable—not only with me, but more importantly, with herself.
As the rest of my guards stationed themselves around the outside of my tent, I dragged Saibra inside. She came along reluctantly but froze as we entered my sleeping chamber. Bane sat curled up along one side of the large area, and Saibra was obviously unsure of what to do.
“Bane spends many nights with me, Saibra, as you know,” I explained to her as I unstrapped my weapons. “And he will be with us all night tonight as well. I think you’ll find him to be quite a comfortable pillow.”
“I… I thought,” Saibra fumbled.
“He will not be here when things between us become more… involved,” I whispered to her, clearing up her confusion.
A look of obvious relief washed over Saibra’s face once she knew that she was safe, at least somewhat, and I quickly changed into my nightdress before wrapping myself up in the blankets beside Bane and motioning for Saibra to join us.
A look of near panic came over her, and I realized that I’d brought Saibra here without letting her get whatever outfit she usually slept in. I got up and offered her one of my spare nightdresses, but she refused to take the garment from me.
“Will you let me leave for a moment to get one of my own?” Saibra pled with me.
Her eyes spoke to me with far more distress than even her strained words had managed to communicate, so I nodded, and she rushed back outside in a flash. I wasn’t quite sure why Saibra hadn’t wanted to wear what I’d offered her, but the woman’s many odd quirks were nothing new to me.
It took a while for her to return, but eventually I heard the rustling tent flaps as Saibra entered the separate area that made up the antechamber. Oddly, she didn’t immediately join me, and the sound of Saibra removing her armor came to me through the canvas walls. Eventually, the divider between the tent’s two rooms parted, and when Saibra tentatively stepped inside, I finally saw the outfit she’d gone to retrieve.
The fabric almost reached the floor, completely covering her from head to toe, including a pair of full-length sleeves. Despite the fact that I’d never seen her out of her armor, I knew that she had a good figure with lean, hard muscle everywhere, so her profoundly modest bedtime attire struck me as quite odd. I realized that bringing out the softer side of Saibra was definitely going to be a challenge.
“Over here,” I picked up the blanket in front of me and smiled as Saibra cast about uncertainly for where she should lie down.
She sat down next to me, and I had to practically shove Saibra the rest of the way before she lay uncomfortably against Bane. Then I draped the blanket over the two of us, and Saibra jolted as I wrapped my arm around her.
“Stop,” I couldn’t help but giggle slightly as she reacted to my casual touch. “That’s all I’m going to do. You can relax now.”
I tried to ease myself into her, but Saibra stiffened every time I nestled against her. I finally gave up and pulled her around to face me in the dark.
“Saibra, this is who we are, or at least this is who we’re going to be,” I peered into her eyes as I spoke. “I know this is difficult for you, and I’m willing to go as slow as you need me to, but you’ve got to at least try to let me in.”
“You scare me, Empress,” Saibra voice trembled as she finally confessed to me in the comfort of the darkness. “Not that you frighten me, but I’m afraid to open myself up to you. I know your power, and part of me wants it, badly. But I’m also terrified of you. Both of what it means to give myself over to you, and that you’ll reject me once you learn the full truth of who I am.”
“You are Tári, Saibra. My Tári,” I reached out and gently stroked her face as I replied. “You have nothing to fear from me, and I could never turn you away. The bond we share will not allow that.”
For the first time, Saibra didn’t recoil from my touch, and I let my hand rest against her cheek as I finished speaking. For a long while, we just lay there, searching each other’s eyes. I wanted to send her a thread of reassurance or comfort, anything really to offer Saibra some support, but I didn’t dare—it was far too soon to risk what that might uncover within her, so I held myself back. But I had more to offer her than just my threads, so I slowly pulled Saibra to me and wrapped my arms around her.
She stiffened again, reflexively reacting to our closeness once more, but then slowly relaxed and returned my embrace. It was a tremendous first step for her, returning my affection, and as I held Saibra in my arms, I heard Bane begin to purr beside us.
“This is… nice,” Saibra whispered almost cautiously.
“It gets even better,” I replied before gently kissing her forehead.
I hadn’t realized just how delicate Saibra was, so I didn’t push her any further. In truth, just getting her to lay with me was probably more than she’d been comfortable with, but we’d managed to get there together. Saibra was deeply damaged, and she’d suffered some of that damage at my hands. Healing her would not be a simple matter, but we’d taken our first step on that long road, and I wasn’t going to let her look back again. Wherever our journey led us, I would bring Saibra forward with me until the day that I knew she was finally the woman she was always meant to be.
I didn’t remember falling asleep that night, but when I woke the next morning, Saibra was still wrapped around me just as we’d been the night before. I’d never seen her sleeping before, and the peaceful, unguarded look on her face as she lay there was a stark contrast to the hard expressions she typically wore. Saibra’s darker blond hair and tanned skin were unusual among elves, and I saw her natural beauty for the first time as she slept quietly. But Saibra was no heavy sleeper, and she woke with a start when I moved just slightly.
“It’s only me, Saibra,” I soothed as her eyes shot open in surprise.
She tried to wriggle away from me almost instantly, but I held her tightly until she gave up.
“You can go,” I told her. “In a minute.”
It had clearly been easier for her to hold onto me in the dark of night, but I wanted to start pushing her boundaries just slightly, so I kept her pressed against me for a few moments before finally releasing her. When I did, Saibra shot up from beneath the covers and quickly exited into the antechamber where she’d left her clothes and armor the night
before. However, after only a moment, she returned with a pile of gear and clothing in her arms, obviously flustered.
“Ella’s already waiting for you out there,” Saibra complained. “I’ll get changed in here once you’ve gone out to see her.”
I found myself amused by the fact that she was so reluctant to let me see her in any state less than fully dressed and wondered if her discomfort worked both ways. My own armor was easy enough to slip into, so I shucked off my nightdress and confidently slipped into the Armor of Melía as Saibra stood nearby. While its laces and buckles tightened around me, I stared into Saibra’s eyes, and she held my gaze in return. Apparently, her unease only involved her own physique, as Saibra had no difficulty with taking a thorough look over mine.
“That wasn’t for free,” I taunted her playfully. “You’re going to pay me back next time. You’ve got four days to get your shit together, Saibra.”
I had only meant it as a jest, but the look of sheer terror that came over Saibra’s face startled me, and I couldn’t understand her reluctance. She was my Tári, and we’d already spent an entire night together, wrapped in each other’s arms. I knew that she wanted us to become closer—I could feel that much from her clearly, even without my tendrils. But it seemed that Saibra’s profound sense of modesty might be the biggest obstacle to that. I’d already decided to withhold my tendrils until we were safely back at the Palace, but I wondered if I might have to take things even slower than that. With each of my other Tári, my own reluctance had been the thing that held back our relationships. Now, for the first time, my Tári was the hesitant one. But Saibra’s resistance only urged me on, making me want to solve her riddle even more, much as I imagined Líann had probably felt about my own attempts to rebuff her. It felt ironic, to say the least, and I vowed to try my best to not make Saibra as uncomfortable as Líann had once made me.
I retreated from my own bedroom, calling Bane out with me to offer Saibra some privacy while she got dressed. As I sat down beside Ella, she poured tea into the three cups that were arranged around the table and smiled at me in amusement.
“So,” Ella began with her broad grin still firmly in place. “This is how things are going to be for the rest of our trip home. One of us will stay with you during the night, and another will be here to greet you in the morning. Since I will have the pleasure of your company tonight, it’s also my turn to share breakfast with you.”
Just then, Saibra emerged from the other room and attempted to hurry away outside, but Ella was having none of it.
“Captain,” Ella chided her before Saibra reached the tent flaps. “You’re the Empress’ personal guard now. You weren’t about to abandon your post, were you?”
“No, Commander,” Saibra replied as she slunk back to stand behind me.
“Sit, Saibra. We’re sharing breakfast,” I gently coaxed her.
She hesitated, but a quick glare from Ella was all it took to finally persuade Saibra to join us.
“This was your idea, Saibra,” Ella reminded her pointedly. “You can’t go skipping out on your parts of it.”
Considering how reluctant and uncomfortable she was with everything, it struck me as odd that Saibra had suggested this arrangement. I wanted to ask her about that, but I knew that doing so with Ella present would put far too much pressure on Saibra—pressure that she wasn’t ready for, so I decided to let it go—at least for the time being.
Ella filled our plates, and we talked for a while—which is to say that Ella and I talked while Saibra picked at her food in silence. The night had passed peacefully, she told me, and the scouts that were sent out reported nothing of concern, so it seemed we’d have a safe day’s journey ahead of us. As we began wrapping things up, Ella reached across the table and placed her hand over Saibra’s, surprising both of us.
“Saibra, I know you’re uncomfortable,” Ella offered her compassionately, holding Saibra’s gaze in the same way that she’d once held mine. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you; we all are. You’re not alone anymore. You not only have your Sintári by your side but your Tári sisters as well. There’s no need for you to suffer in silence. We won’t let you do that to yourself anymore.”
The moment brought back so many powerful memories for me, and before I knew what I was doing, I found my own hand draped over Ella’s and Saibra’s. Ella’s kind words and the simple gesture of solidarity were more than Saibra could withstand, however, and she bolted away before either of us could stop her.
“Let her go,” I told Ella as she rose to go after Saibra. “This is all very sudden for her. She needs time more than anything right now, and we need to give Saibra some space before asking any more of her.”
Ella nodded back at me in understanding. She’d been aware enough of Saibra’s discomfort to make her offer of support, so my words of caution were almost unnecessary. So, after a few last bites, Ella took over for Saibra in her absence, and we stepped outside together to begin the day.
The morning’s march was uneventful, just as Ella had predicted. Bane’s scouting ahead and to our flanks revealed no sign of any hostile forces, somewhat to my surprise. Once we’d concluded that the beastkin had been directed against me, I’d been expecting their attacks to resume, and the fact that they hadn’t already done so started to concern me. The only reason I could imagine for the unexpected reprieve was that whatever was guiding them was holding off until it could gather a large enough horde to overwhelm my depleted army—it was not a comforting thought.
Then, after we’d eaten our lunch on the road, Saibra finally took her place by my side. Ella had made some excuse for her absence, but as soon as Saibra returned, Ella departed, casting a knowing glance in Saibra’s direction as she did. I doubt that anyone else caught it, but I saw Ella’s look for myself, and it said, in no uncertain terms, that although Saibra’s lapse had been excused this time, that would not be the case ever again. The quick nod Saibra offered in return spoke loudly as well, telling me that Saibra wouldn’t allow that to happen either.
I wanted to talk to her, to offer Saibra the reassurance that I was certain she needed, but her emotions were so fragile and unpredictable that I thought better of it. Saibra would talk to me when she was ready, or it would have to wait until I had her cornered and she couldn’t escape. The open road with a clear path to freedom in front of her was not the place for any uncomfortable discussions with Saibra. Instead, I let her march along beside me in silence as we continued traveling south towards home.
“I don’t know how you do this day after day, Daughter,” Nentai’s voice called to me from just over my shoulder. “Traveling like this must be very tedious for you.”
The looks of shock and surprise on the faces of my companions and guardians were obvious as I turned to reply to the Goddess. Although they were becoming familiar with Nentai’s habit of simply appearing out of thin air, her surprise visits always left them awestruck.
“Hello, Mother,” I greeted her warmly, despite her mocking jab. “I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”
“Yes, well, I told you that I’d lifted some of the restrictions that had been on me,” she made a point of reminding me. “And there are some things we need to discuss as well—privately.”
I took her meaning and led the way back towards my carriage, so we could retreat inside to talk without being overheard. While I had no idea what she intended to tell me, I’d learned that Mother’s ‘private’ conversations usually needed to stay that way, so I took her precaution seriously. But when I tried to leave Saibra outside, Mother surprised me yet again.
“Join us, Saibra,” Nentai gestured her inside. “You’re one of my daughter’s Tári now. What we’re going to discuss concerns you as well.”
Given no other choice, Saibra stepped inside and sat down uncomfortably between the two of us. As if she hadn’t been made uneasy enough already, Mother just had to add to Saibra’s discomfort, probably setting back my efforts to put the woman at ease by weeks.
“I know that you’re not planning to venture into the Dark Lands for quite some time,” Nentai began as soon as we were seated. “But there are some things you should be aware of.”
“We’ve known for a long time that there is some hidden power directing the creatures of the Dark Lands,” she continued. “The unprecedented attacks against you are only the most recent evidence of this, but prior to those assaults, we’d never seen anything like them so far away from the Dark Land’s borders. Either the power there has grown far stronger, or the threat you represent has made it more desperate than ever before.”
My, how comforting of you, Mother.
“Obviously you’re being watched, but the method that is being used must be rather rudimentary, or I’d have detected its source by now,” Nentai explained, ignoring my displeased expression. “I will try to find some means to prevent any further spying on you. This would not usually be too difficult, but the restrictions upon me limit the amount of direct aid I can provide you, so I’ll have to be more… creative.”
While I certainly wanted what Nentai offered, I had even more pressing needs. I wasn’t sure that I could handle the loss of another one of my beloved Tári, and keeping them safe from harm was more important to me than anything else.
“What about my Tári, Mother?” I asked when she paused. “Can you help me protect them?”
“I’m sorry, Daughter, I cannot,” Nentai responded with a genuine sense of regret. “I was required to make you my champion just to enchant your sword, and that prevents me from offering my aid to anyone else. I anticipated that you’d ask this of me, and I tried to get my brothers and sisters to adopt your Tári, but they’ve all refused. I told you that my claim on you would have repercussions, and this is one of them.”
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