She had tried more times than she could count to not think about him. But no matter how hard she tried, he was the only thing her mind could stay on. The anger, the pain, all fueled her and she didn’t know what to do about it.
“So, what are you going to do?” Emily finally ask after some moments of silence.
“I don’t know,” Mary Ann sighed, fiddling with the hem of her dress. “I have been hurt more times than I can count and I always thought I was immune to this, but this a new ground for me.”
Emily nodded again before speaking.
“That is love,” she told her. “It happens to the best of us. But have you tried hearing him out just to hear his side of the story?” she asked.
“His side?” Mary Ann reiterated as if she hadn’t heard what had just been asked of her.
“Yes, unless you are all knowing, you cannot just assume that you know the reason that he lied to you,” Emily pointed out.
Mary Ann thought about this for a while. She was too heartbroken and angry to have asked Thomas why he did what he did.
“I think it is too late for that now. And I don’t think there is any reason that could justified what was done,” Mary Ann fired back. She caught Emily’s raised brows and shrank back, mumbling an apology.
“No, no my child. It is all right,” Emily said as she tucked her arm into Mary Ann’s one more time.
“If there is one thing that my age has taught me is never to assume you know until you ask. You still deserve an explanation. Just because you do not want it does not mean you do not need it.”
Mary Ann looked with her already swollen eyes. Even if she tried, she couldn’t cry anymore.
“You do not get it. There is no way for us. He is the Duke. He is never going to explain himself to the likes of me and I cannot just walk up to him and demand that he explain,” she was almost yelling again.
Emily sighed, said, “Who said anything about you going to meet him? Trust me, love is a pathfinder. It always finds a way. Just do not be in a hurry or block the path laid down before you.”
“What does that even mean?” Mary Ann inquired.
“That you will know soon enough, but for now, you need to eat.”
Grudgingly, Mary Ann took the food and started eating. Emily stroked her hair, humming the song she heard from Mary Ann the other day. After a while, her headache subsided a little bit. She cleaned herself up and laid on the bed while Emily sat and watch. Except for being curious about why Thomas had lied to her, only one question kept ringing in her ears.
“Do you think he really loves me?” she asked.
“Why do you ask?” Emily frowned as she moved closer.
“You know why,” Mary Ann yawned.
“He has always been the Duke. It is only you that just found out. If he told you he does, then you do not have a reason to doubt him,” she explained.
After a long silence, Emily spoke again.
“If you would ask me, I am happy that it is Thomas and not that old ox that you are in love with.”
Mary Ann laughed. She muttered her gratitude to Emily before falling asleep.
The next morning Mary Ann wasn’t sure if it was the crow of the rooster or the pang of her headache that woke her up. All she knew was that she was wide awake. The first light was barely out as she climbed out of her bed. As she sat up, she remembered what had happened the previous day. She was still upset about this but had decided to drown her sorrows in her work.
Love will always find a way.
Emily’s voice kept resounding within her as she changed for the day’s work. She tried to wear her most pleasant smile but that proved to be harder than she thought with red eyes and a swollen face. Regardless, she still practiced before the small mirror only to realize it was hopeless.
She walked out not long after this, without looking at the fountain as she used to do. It was as if seeing everything outside her room made her remember it belonged to the man that had lied to her. The same man that she had fallen deeply in love with – Thomas.
Florence must have seen how she looked but didn’t ask what the matter was. Instead, she cut her some slack that morning. She even brought a plate of brioche to Mary Ann herself.
“Do not get use to this,” she muttered as she dropped the plate before her.
This made Mary Ann smile and Florence returned the smile too. She could not finish the meal but not wanting to insult the cook, she swallowed it all down.
Work proved to be more difficult with her headache but she managed to do it anyway. Throughout the day, she had heard even more heartbreaking news. Thomas’ fiancée was around and they were already making wedding arrangements. She had wished the day could end quickly but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.
She continued her chores quietly but after about an hour of working, she felt a towering figure before her. She became happy at first as she thought Emily had come to check up on her.
“Are you not going to say a word to me, Emily?” she inquired but no response came.
Mary Ann smiled, finding Emily’s play somewhat pleasing.
“You are an amazing person, Emily. And I owe you so much in the little time that we have known each other.” Mary Ann told her as she kept scrubbing. She still received no response.
“All right!” she finally exclaimed as she rose up to greet Emily. As she raised her head, she almost fell back to the ground but she was able to steady herself.
“What are you doing here?” she fired at Thomas.
She looked around to make sure they were alone.
“I am really sorry for not telling you who I was long before. I was just—”
“Just what? Lying? Or what other reason would you have than that?” Mary Ann cut in. “You made a fool of me.”
“I know that is how it seems but I want you to hear me out before you make a decision,” Thomas begged.
His eyes were haunted, utterly serious. Although she couldn’t place if it was due to lack of sleep of tears. Even so, Thomas looked more dazzling now that he was standing in his true form. Just as Mary Ann was about to speak, James; the man Mary Ann had always known to be the Duke, walked in on them. As she saw the two of them standing before each other, he stumbled and almost fell.
“Good morning, Your Grace,” he muttered with a bow. “Mary Ann.”
Mary Ann nodded her greetings as James scurried to the door adjacent where they were, away from sight. She was about to speak when she heard a female voice heading their way. Thomas became alerted.
“Give me a chance to explain, please,” gloom invading his voice.
“Go and meet your betrothed,” was all Mary Ann could say before Thomas walked away toward the voice.
As he walked away, Emily’s voice invaded Mary Ann’s thought.
Love is a pathfinder. Just do not be in a hurry or block the path laid down before you.
She wanted to weep at the thought of pushing Thomas’ plea away but she swallowed it as she continued working.
“Thomas! Lovely morning, don’t you think?” Rebecca pointed out the moment she saw Thomas.
“The morning is as every individual sees it,” Thomas replied indifferently.
Since the time he had told Mary Ann who he really was, he hadn’t been able to sleep. Everything had gone terribly wrong with his plan and now, he risked losing her forever. The mere thought of that made him shiver in fear.
“Thomas, I am speaking to you,” Rebecca’s voice pulled him back to present world.
“`Yes,” he replied in a low voice. “What did you say, My Lady?”
“I asked why do you think the morning isn’t a fine one,” she reiterated.
Because I am at the verge of losing the love of my life due to my stupidity.
“It is just a mere thought,” he replied dismissively.
“Do you have somewhere else to be?” Rebecca asked suddenly.
Thomas who has not been paying attention to her turned to see what was the cause of her annoyance. He
then realized that her words were directed at James.
“James is my butler and I demand that he stay by my side at all times until I tell him otherwise,” he uttered in a simple tone.
He had only wanted to clear things with Mary Ann and probably win her back. He didn’t plan on meeting with Rebecca so early.
Rebecca fixed her gaze on Thomas and he wondered if she wanted to cry and speak angrily. Whichever the case, Thomas wasn’t ready for it. Mary Ann and how bad he had failed to explain was eating him up from the inside.
“Walk me to the garden,” she muttered in a high tone. “I heard yours is one of the most beautiful in London.”
Thomas sighed, as he followed her. Thomas didn’t know how heavy his heart was until he entered the garden with Rebecca. The once-beautiful spot where he could find tranquility, now held the history of his failure. Even though it was difficult, he looked away from the spot he had kissed and told Mary Ann of his true identity.
“What is it?” Rebecca asked noticing his reaction. “Scared of flowers?”
“No, I just do not feel well being in here right now,” he replied looking straight into her eyes.
He had hoped that she would tell them to leave but being as selfish as she was, she only held his arm as she walked the garden. Thomas could only grunt to all her comments causing her to reiterate all her questions.
“How ironic,” Rebecca commented. “You have a beautiful garden that you are scared of entering.”
If there was one thing Thomas had known, it was to keep quiet when Rebecca had twisted his words to suit herself. She started making fun of him and some of her friends that had allergies to flowers. This continued to the extent that Thomas had no choice than to speak.
“Contrary to what you think, I love my garden. Being dragged down here against my will is what I do not fancy. Also, I am not interested in knowing the affairs of your friends.”
Rebecca was shocked by his reaction but that did not stop her. “I thought you would like to get to know me. That is why I was telling you all these things,” she told him in a calm but demanding tone. Thomas didn’t respond. He couldn’t bring himself to care about such things right now.
“Being in the business for twenty-five years can make one see life differently, if you ask me,” she started talking again.
As her presence was becoming unbearable something struck him out of her words. Must she always speak of her family business?
“Twenty-five years? So, how did your family start the business?” Thomas asked facing her enthusiastically now.
“Well, it was a humble beginning,” she told him but her response wasn’t enough for Thomas.
“I suppose it is, but I would really like to hear the story of this humble beginning,” he pressured.
Thomas soon realized that Rebecca was becoming uneasy with his questions. While it seemed strange, Thomas chose not to think much of it. He did not care that much and felt even better when she took her leave, promising to tell her story another day.
“I shall see you at breakfast?” Thomas called after her.
“Of course, Your Grace, nothing would make me happier than sitting by your side,” she replied as she skittered off
“I guess I have found the one thing that could put her off,” Thomas laughed, looking at James.
Chapter 23
It was a starless, moonless sky; a reflection of his dampened emotion. Thomas wore a veil over his head that early morning as he slogged toward the servant’s quarters. He tried blending in while using the shadow as a cover. The last thing he wanted was the few servants that might be waking up to suspect that he was there. Emily had given James a vivid description to where Mary Ann’s room was located. A description which now served as the only guide Thomas had.
He walked past a servant who was too focused on getting to the outhouse to notice him passing him by. Thomas did not meet any obstacles until he got to the door. He tapped on it twice before turning his back toward the door. After waiting for a couple of seconds with no sign of movement from the other side, he knocked his fist on the door three times again. It didn’t take long for him to hear a rustling sound followed by the sound of footsteps coming closer toward the door.
Here we go! His heart began to beat faster as the door unlatched.
Just as Mary Ann open the door, Thomas turn to face her. It had been two days since they spoke. Her face had been swollen then and her eyes red. But facing her now, he realized how much had changed. For that, he was happy. She remained inside holding the door open but not welcoming him in. They stood that way for a couple of seconds before Thomas spoke.
“Won’t you ask me inside?” Thomas asked laughing uneasily.
“Of course,” she mumbled stepping back to allow him enter.
He was happy about that Mary Ann still spoke to him like she used to do.
“How do find your stay here?” he asked trying to see how she would react to it.
“Good,” she answered indifferently.
“Thank you for allowing me in,” Thomas uttered again.
Mary Ann didn’t respond to this, she only looked with a straight face.
“Mary Ann, I did not mean to lie to you. I was just scared,” he spoke sincerely and that seemed to catch her attention.
Just tell the truth and you should be fine, he told himself.
Sitting on the chair beside her bed, he began explaining things to her. How he had always wanted to be addressed like an ordinary person and how he loved the plain lives nobles seem to detest.
“You see, I did not mean for this to happen; me falling hopelessly in love with you. But I did and I do not regret it one bit,” he affirmed with deep conviction.
By the time he was done, Mary Ann’s eyes had already softened and so had his heartbeat. Mary Ann was silent and Thomas had decided not to rush her to say anything. When nothing was forthcoming, he stood to take his leave.
“Whatever you decide, I am ready to live with it. But just know that I will always love you,” he told her as he began to walk away.
“Wait,” Mary Ann finally spoke.
When Thomas turned, he was surprised that she was already close by him. She was light on her feet so he did not notice.
“I understand why you did what you did,” she spoke firmly.
Slowly, she was regaining her strength and it made Thomas love her even more; her confidence and courage.
“But you being a Duke changes everything and I am scared,” she told him.
“No, Mary Ann,” Thomas shook his head vehemently, “there is nothing to be scared of. I love you, more than words can say.”
“Thomas,” her gaze shone bright, “I love you too.”
They moved closer to each other with her falling into his arms. Thomas squeezed her lightly against his body before letting her go. He bent to peck her lips and she parted them partially so he took them both in. Mary Ann did the same, guiding his hands to her back. At first Thomas did nothing more than hold her with his hands but as the kiss became more passionate, he began to pull her dress apart from her shoulders.
She had mouthed ‘Stop’ just as she took her lips way from his.
What did I do wrong? Thomas asked himself hoping he hadn’t blown it again.
She pulled down her dress from her shoulders and allowed it to drop to her curvy hips. Thomas stared at her well-rounded firm breasts as she walked toward him. Mary Ann placed a hand on his bare chest, standing on her toes to give him a kiss. The kiss started slowly with one of his hands moving around her back to her buttocks while the other found its way to her breasts, feeling them one at a time.
After a couple of minutes, Mary Ann pulled her mouth away and let out a soft gasp. Then, as if she weighed nothing, Thomas picked her up from the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He clenched her closer by her buttocks as he walked toward her bed. Thomas laid her softly on the bed allowing her head to rest on the pillow before pecking her lips and drawing away.
“I lov
e you so much,” he whispered into her ear.
She giggled which made Thomas repeat the same to the other ear. From her ear, Thomas began laying kisses on her body moving down to her neck. He stayed around her neck for a couple of seconds, moistening it with his tongue and watched her move slowly in delight. As if he had all the time in the world, he moved downward to her cleavage allowing his tongue to take the first charge. While he was at this, he moved his fingers around her hardened nipples one at a time. Then, he pressed them with his middle finger and thumb before rubbing it with his index finger.
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