“Madison, there’s something else I need to tell you.”
“Okay,” I responded. It was the day for confessions, I guessed.
“Well, here goes. I know you don’t want anyone to know about us because we are cousins.” He paused.
“Yes, of course. They would freak out,” I said, wondering where in the world he was going with that statement.
“You should know that we aren’t really cousins.” He looked me directly in the eyes to see what my response would be to that.
“Yes we are. What are you talking about?” I was confused. I’m sure he could see it on my face.
“Sarah’s not your biological mother. Abbey is,” he just blurted out.
“That’s not true. Why are you saying this?” I was starting to get upset.
“Yes, it is true. Abbey got pregnant by Adam and the possible scandal was too much for Sarah to bear. So, she pretended to be pregnant.”
“Are you making this up? Because it isn’t funny Jackson.”
“No, I’m dead serious.” I could tell by the look on his face that he meant it.
“How do you know this? Did Sarah tell you?” I still didn’t know if I believed him.
“No. One day when I was just a kid, I had gotten into trouble for something that I can’t even remember now, and I was hiding in one of the horse stables feeling sorry for myself. A couple of the ranch hands came in. They didn’t know I was there and they started talking. I heard them say that Abbey had confessed to one of them that she was the one that had the baby, not Sarah. She said that Sarah had never really been pregnant and they paid Abbey a lot of money to give them the baby. She told him that it was Adam’s baby. She needed the money, so she took it and left.”
“This can’t possibly be true. You were pretty young. Are you sure you heard right?”
“Yes, I heard right. Their conversation made a really big impression on me and I never forgot it. Those ranch hands are long gone, haven’t worked there for years, but I know what I heard.”
“Oh my god. You knew about this all these years? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I was starting to tear up.
“Well, I didn’t know you very well at first, then later I just couldn’t. I knew you would be mad and I was afraid you would leave me.” He wiped the tears from my cheek with his shirt sleeve. It was a very sweet and loving gesture.
“Then, why are you telling me now?” I pulled away from him. I knew he could hear the hurt in my voice.
“Because I thought you needed to know. I know that I’m taking a big chance that you will hate me forever, but I love you and couldn’t keep lying to you.”
“Did Adam rape Abbey?” I was terrified of the answer.
“I honestly don’t know. But, I don’t think so. It didn’t sound like that was the case. You are the only person I have ever told about what I overheard that day. I don’t know if the relationship was consensual or not. Sorry, that’s all I know.” I could tell that he was telling the truth.
It was unbelievable. The woman that I thought was my mother all my life, turned out to not be my mother. I had come to accept that, was learning to deal with it. Then, I find out she is my real mother after all. Has the world gone crazy? Why can’t I get a straight answer out of people? Well, I was about to get all the answers I wanted. I jumped up and started getting dressed.
“What are you doing?” Jackson asked.
“I’m going to confront Sarah and Adam. It’s time I got the entire truth, whether they like it or not.”
I couldn’t get dressed fast enough. I got on Jett and he ran all the way home. Jackson was right behind me the entire way. He didn’t try to stop me. He was just trying to keep up.
When I reached the stables, I handed Jett over to Walter without saying a word to him and started toward the house. That’s when Jackson caught up to me.
“Madison, stop and think about this for a minute.”
“What is there to think about?” I didn’t slow my pace.
“You aren’t going to accomplish anything by storming in there and making a big scene right now. Wait until a better time. A time when you can use it to your advantage.”
I stopped and turned toward him. “What do you mean?” I asked him, genuinely curious.
“Wait until you want something. Then you can bring it up.”
I thought for a moment. I liked it. I was still furious, but I could use the information to my advantage in the future. Yelling at them was not going to change anything, so holding onto it for future profit sounded good to me.
“Okay,” I told him. He seemed surprised that I relented so easily. I was surprised myself. But, I could really see how it would help me when I needed something to hold over them.
Chapter 21
For the next week or so, I just avoided both of them. I spent very little time outside, in fear of running into Ethan, and when in the house, I avoided Jackson at all costs. I needed time to think and I couldn’t do it with them around. I had no self control at all when it came to either one of them, and I knew it.
One day I was sitting in the dining room eating lunch, alone. I had waited until everyone was finished with lunch and gone into town for some shopping. So no one was at home, except me and some of the staff. I heard the door to the dining room open and in walked Jackson. Crap. I guess I couldn’t hide forever.
“I thought you went into town with Adam and Sarah,” I said.
“Are you avoiding me?” he asked bluntly, without responding to my comment.
“No, I’ve just been busy,” I said defensively. I’m sure my face couldn’t hide the guilt I felt.
“You don’t look busy to me.” He was angry. I could see that.
I got up to leave. It was obvious a fight was about to start and we were getting nowhere.
“Madison, what is your problem?” Jackson said very rudely.
I couldn’t help myself then. He could be the most exasperating person I had ever met, and my mouth just opened before I even had a chance to think about what I was going to say.
“You. You’re my problem. We’re done. I don’t want to be with you anymore. Just leave me alone.” And with that, I ran out of the room. Jackson didn’t say a word.
I rarely saw Jackson after that. He avoided me like the plague. I actually did miss him, but not having to fight all the time was nice. We had such a volatile relationship. Seemed like we were always fighting. Now things were peaceful. As hard as it was, I knew that I had made the right decision. I knew I had hurt him, had probably gone about breaking up with him the wrong way, but what was done was done. I tried not to dwell on it and tried to not speak to him unless I absolutely had to. I didn’t want to encourage him at all.
I started seeing Ethan again. Things were so easy with him. We rarely had a disagreement and never had big fights. We fit together so well. He really was the one I wanted to be with. I finally realized that.
A few weeks after we started seeing each other again, I realized that my period was late and I started to panic. I had absolutely no one I could talk with about it. There was no way I was going to tell Sarah and Adam, at least until I knew for sure. So, I went down to the drug store and bought a home pregnancy test. When the test came back positive, I was devastated. What in the world was I going to do? I was only 16 years old, still a kid myself. This can’t be happening, I thought. I sat on my bedroom floor and cried for hours. I didn’t even leave my room for the rest of the day. Funny that no one in the house even seemed to notice.
The next morning Ethan asked me if I wanted to go for a horseback ride with him. I was feeling a little better, so I agreed. I avoided the river, since that reminded me of the times Jackson and I spent there. We just kind of meandered through the forest. It was really nice. I was uncharacteristically quiet on that ride because I obviously had something on my mind. Something that I needed to say to Ethan. How in the world was I going to tell him?
“Madison, I love you.” He just blurted out during a lull in the conversat
ion. He had never said that before.
My heart started pounding. I was sure Ethan could hear it. “Ethan, I’m pregnant.”
Silence answered me back. A really long silence. I expected him to be surprised, but didn’t expect him to say nothing at all.
“Did you hear me?” I asked him.
“Yes, I heard you. That was just not what I expected to hear back from you,” he choked out.
“Well, to answer what you said, I love you too,” I said, and I really meant it. Ethan was the one for me. I knew that.
“We should get back to the ranch,” Ethan told me, and kicked his horse so that he would get way ahead of me. I guess he didn’t want to talk about it.
It was probably a half hour ride back to the house and Ethan hardly said a word to me. I tried to talk about it, while trying to keep up with him, but he just said we would talk about it later. So, it was a really quiet ride back. I wondered what he was thinking. It was painfully obvious that he wasn’t happy about the baby. Why should he be? He was only 17 years old and I was only 16. What were we going to do with a baby? Truth is, I wasn’t absolutely sure whose baby it was. I had really made a mess of things.
When we arrived back at the ranch, Ethan put his horse in the stable and said that he had to go home. He told me that he wasn’t angry, he just needed some time to think about things, and he wanted to talk to his dad. Oh boy, was his dad ever going to hate me.
Regardless of how Ethan felt about the baby, I had to tell my parents. It was going to be really apparent soon that I was pregnant. They had to be told. I found them sitting in the library listening to music. I stood at the doorway for several minutes while I worked up the nerve to walk in. They would be so disappointed in me. Even though we frequently didn’t get along with each other, it killed me to do this to them.
Finally, it was time. I walked in and turned down the stereo.
“Hey, we were listening to that,” Sarah kind of whined. Adam just looked up at me.
“I need to talk to you both.”
“Okay, sit down.” Adam motioned me to a chair right across from the couch they were sitting on.
“I really don’t know how to say this.”
“What is it, honey? You can talk to us about anything. You know that.” Adam sounded really understanding.
“I know. It’s just hard to say.”
They both sat there in silence with worried looks on their faces.
“Are you okay? You’re starting to worry us Madison,” Adam finally said.
“I’m pregnant,” I said, barely above a whisper.
“What!” Sarah exclaimed loudly, almost yelling. “Oh my god.”
“I’m sorry. I know it was stupid.” I tried to stay calm. Getting into a big fight was not going to help.
“Who is the father?” Adam asked calmly. “I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.”
“Ethan.”
I could almost see the wheels turning in Sarah’s head while she was trying to figure out who he was. All of a sudden her eyes opened wide.
“Ethan, the ranch hand’s son?” Sarah was shocked. I could see it in her face. “That’s just great. Now what are we going to do? What are we going to tell people?”
Appearances meant a lot to Sarah. I could tell that she thought the teen pregnancy was going to ruin her social standing. She got a lot of sympathy when I was kidnapped, and then again when I returned. And she ate it up. She loved all the attention she got. I heard her telling the story of my ordeal over and over again when she was with her people. But, this was not what she bargained for. She was extremely unhappy with me and it was painfully obvious. My defenses were starting to build.
“I don’t care what you tell people. I didn’t do this on purpose. It happens. Girls get pregnant every day. I guess we’ll just deal with it like everyone else,” I snapped.
“I’ll make an appointment tomorrow to take care of this,” Sarah announced. Adam had hardly said a word.
“Whoa. Hold on. There is no way in hell that I am doing that. I’m keeping it,” I announced.
Finally Adam chimed in. “Sarah, I’m not any happier about this than you are. But, Madison is right. It’s her baby and she will make the decision for herself. Besides, this is our grandchild we are talking about.”
“The decision has been made,” I said and left the room. The discussion was over.
Less than an hour later Jackson came to my room. I wasn’t at all surprised to see him. I was just laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Is it true?” he asked.
“Is what true?” I knew what he meant.
“Madison, don’t play games with me. Is it my baby? Is there actually someone named Ethan?” He seemed genuinely concerned.
“Gee, good news travels fast in this house.”
“Well?” he asked again.
I thought about it for a moment. What was the point in telling him I didn’t know whose baby it was? That would make things worse. If I was decisive with my answers to him, hopefully he would be satisfied with that and leave it alone. I knew Jackson though. I wasn’t sure at all that he would leave it alone.
“No, it’s not your baby,” I told him. “It’s Ethan’s.” I so desperately wanted it to be true.
“How do you know that?” he asked me.
I needed to be on my toes, because he was going to grill me. It was his way of doing things. He didn’t like to let things go.
“Because I was already pregnant when you and I got together the last time by the river. And, before that it had been months, because you were sick. So, there’s no way it could be yours.” There, I said it. No going back now.
“So, you’ve known for weeks that you were pregnant and didn’t tell anyone? Didn’t tell me?” He was hurt. I could see it in his face.
“Well, yeah. I didn’t know how to tell you. Or my parents. I was scared.”
“Does Ethan know?” he asked me.
“Yes, he knows.”
“What did he say?” Jackson was starting to ask a lot of questions.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your problem. This is between Ethan and me.” I was getting tired of the third degree.
“Fine.” He stormed out. I could see he was mad. Who could blame him?
Chapter 22
I wanted to give Ethan a little time to process the whole thing. It was a lot to take in, for both of us. So, I waited a few days before trying to contact him. He was nowhere to be found on the ranch. I looked everywhere, even asking every person I could find about him. I was probably starting to sound a little desperate, so I’m sure I became the latest topic of gossip on the ranch. Whatever, I didn’t care. All I cared about at that moment was finding Ethan. We really needed to talk. He needed to understand that I didn’t get pregnant on purpose. I was just as scared as he was. He needed to know that I really did love him.
I tried calling him, but got no answer. I even went by his house, but no one was home. His father wasn’t around either. Something was up and I was heartbroken. Had he quit his job just to avoid me? Did he hate me now?
I had been avoiding my parents as much as possible. But, even in the huge mansion we lived in it was impossible to not run into each other. Finally, I decided I needed some answers and went looking for Adam. I found him in his office.
“Hi,” I said as I walked in and sat down.
Adam was typing away on his computer and didn’t even look up when I sat right in front of him. I just waited. After about five minutes, he finally acknowledged my presence. I guess he was really angry with me. Even with all the fighting we had done since I arrived, he never ignored me. He was a lot like me. We both confronted things head on.
“Have you seen Ethan? I haven’t been able to get ahold of him, or his dad,” I asked.
“Ethan and his dad don’t work here anymore. I have no idea where they are,” he replied with no emotion in his voice at all.
“They quit?”
“Yes,” Adam told me, an
d without another word he went back to whatever it was that he was doing on his computer.
“Did they quit, or did you fire them?” I would not be surprised at all if Adam had fired them. And, I couldn’t blame him, I guess. But I was still angry about it. However, Ethan’s dad had nothing to do with this. It really wasn’t fair for him to lose his job over it.
“Did you hear me? I asked you a question,” I said a little louder.
“Madison, I’m working. There is nothing more to discuss. They quit. They are gone. End of story.” He could be so frustrating sometimes.
That was it. I couldn’t get anymore information out of him. I even tried Sarah. Same response. Ethan and I loved each other. How could he just quit and not talk to me about it? I tried a few more times to reach Ethan and he never returned my calls. Eventually the phone was just disconnected. I was heartbroken. He apparently wanted nothing more to do with me. I never expected this from him. I knew he loved me, he said so.
A couple of weeks later, I thought I would try his house one more time. We needed to talk. He couldn’t avoid me forever. I tried knocking on the front door and, as usual, there was no answer. I walked around to the back of the house to see if I could see anything through the windows. I was actually starting to worry about him. What if something happened to him and he couldn’t call me back? The house was locked up tight. All the windows had the shades drawn and I couldn’t see a thing. It seemed eerily quiet. I was getting a little nervous about the whole thing and decided it was time to head home.
As I started walking back to the car I heard a voice calling out.
“Excuse me, hello?” An elderly woman, 80 years old at least, was trying to get my attention. She was standing in the driveway next door with pruning shears in her hand. There were just a few short bushes separating her driveway from theirs.
“Um, hi,” I said back to her. I stopped to see what she wanted.
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