“Yeah,” was all I could say.
“Madison, I still love you. I know you just got married and it’s probably too late, but I had to tell you. I can’t have you thinking that I just ran out on you and didn’t care. I was young and scared and just did what my dad said to do. Then when I found out you lost the baby I figured you were better off without me. I was horrible to you.”
I thought for a minute about all that he had said. “Yes, you were horrible to me, but I can see it wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you, not really. But, now it’s too late anyway.”
“No, it’s not.” With that he wrapped his left arm around my waist and pulled me to him. He brushed the hair from my face with his right hand and he kissed me. It was the most passionate kiss I had ever had. And I kissed him back.
I realized at that moment that I couldn’t live without him. He was the man I wanted to be with. I loved Jackson too, just not quite in the same way. I knew it would break Jackson’s heart and I would have to live with that. But, I loved Ethan. I never stopped loving him. He was the one that I wanted to be with, the one I wanted to be the father of my children.
My children. Oh god, he didn’t even know about them. He was their father and didn’t even know they existed.
I pushed away from him. “Ethan I need to tell you something.”
He reluctantly let go. “What could be worse than the love of my life just getting married to another man?” he asked, seriously.
“Well, this is good news. At least I think so.” I hesitated a little. “First of all, I want you to know that I love you too. I really do. Second thing is that I didn’t lose the baby, Ethan. They lied to you.”
He paused for a moment, probably mulling over what I just told him. “What? Are you serious? You mean I’m a dad?” he asked expectantly.
“Yes, you are a dad. Of twin girls. Scared now?” I asked him. I half expected him to turn around and start running.
“Holy cow! Twin girls. Wow, I need a minute to process this.” He walked over and sat down on the bench. I followed.
“I’m not asking you for anything. I just wanted you to know.” I loved him, but I meant it. I would not obligate him if he didn’t want to be obligated.
“What are you talking about? Of course I want them, and you. I love you. I want us to be a family,” he told me.
I smiled at that. Then I remembered that it was my wedding day and I was standing in the garden with another man kissing him and telling him that I loved him. What a mess I was getting myself into.
Chapter 27
“What now?” Ethan asked me. “We can work this out. I promise, we’ll find a way.” I hadn’t said anything since he told me he wanted us to be a family.
Oh lord, what what was I going to do? I just married Jackson, literally a few hours ago, and there I was in the garden with Ethan telling him that I loved him. Was I a horrible person? Maybe I should just stay with Jackson. Jackson loved me, I knew that, and he would do anything for me and the girls. He wanted to marry me even though I was pretty sure the twins were not his. I told him they definitely were not, but that was because I didn’t want him initially. I wanted Ethan and desperately wanted the girls to be his. I probably should get a paternity test done, but I was pretty sure the twins were Ethan’s. I had only been with Jack the one time that could have resulted in pregnancy, so it was unlikely they were his. But, I really didn’t know for sure.
Either man would be a great husband and father. I couldn’t go wrong either way. So, I had to do what was best for the girls. I needed to go have a talk with Jackson and square everything up with him. He needed to know that Ethan was back.
“Madison, did you hear me?” Ethan asked.
“What? Oh, yes, sorry.” I looked him in the eyes. “I’ve got to go,” I said as I got up and started walking away. “I have a reception going on right now. Come back tomorrow at 6 a.m.” I said over my shoulder as I quickly walked back toward the house.
“Why? What happens at 6 in the morning?” I heard him ask as I rounded the corner. I didn’t answer.
“Maddie! There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.” Jackson was just walking out the front door as I was walking in. Whew, my timing was impeccable. “Where have you been?” He was a little inebriated and slurred his words slightly. Not rip roaring drunk though, thankfully.
“I just needed some fresh air. I’m back now, let’s dance.” I took his hand and led him back into the ballroom, before he saw Ethan standing there staring at me.
I didn’t want to ruin the party by telling Jackson about Ethan being there. It could wait. We had a great time the rest of the evening, but I obviously had my mind on other things. I peeked out the window a few times to see if Ethan was still around, and I never saw him again. He must have gone home. We went upstairs to bed around midnight. Jackson was pretty drunk by then, so our conversation would have to wait until morning.
I laid awake most of the night thinking about the situation. Jackson was out like a light and snoring pretty loud. I probably wouldn’t have been able to sleep even if I tried.
I thought I had made up my mind, but then wasn’t so sure. On one hand, I had a great house to live in, had just gotten married, had a wonderful husband, and he loved my kids. Jackson would do anything for me and the girls. I knew that. And, I did love him.
On the other hand, there was Ethan. I knew I loved him more, no question about it, but was that enough? He hadn’t even met his daughters yet. Would he be a great husband? I didn’t know. Truth is, I didn’t really know him nearly as well as I knew Jackson. Jackson and I had been living in the same house for a couple of years. I felt like I knew him pretty well. Would it be the same with Ethan? Ethan really was an unknown future. Oh boy.
Finally, right before dawn, I settled on a choice and decided that there was no going back. I would follow through with it.
Very early that morning I got up to feed the twins. When done, I went back into my room and started packing. Jackson was asleep on the bed, but nothing happened on our wedding night because he passed out, fully dressed, as soon as we got to the room. He heard me moving about and woke up.
He squinted at me through bloodshot eyes. “What are you doing?” he asked, very groggily.
I stopped packing for a moment and turned toward him. “Jack, we need to talk.”
“About what?” he croaked out.
“It’s about Ethan. He showed up at the reception last night.”
It only took him a second to process what I had said. “What? When? What are you talking about?” He was much more alert then.
“He was in the rose garden waiting for me. That’s where I was when you couldn’t find me. I was out there talking to him.” I felt a little ashamed, Jackson deserved better.
“What did he want?” Jackson sat up in the bed, rubbing both of his eyes.
“He told me he loves me and wants me back,” I blurted out. I then turned and went back to my packing. I couldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Doesn’t he know you are married to me now?” He was starting to get a little angry. Of course he was.
“Yes, he knows.”
Suddenly he noticed that I was packing while we were talking.
“Why are you packing? Where are you going?” Worry was beginning to show on his face.
“I’m leaving. I’m going with Ethan, and I’m taking the twins.” I didn’t know how else to say it, so I just said it. It was a ripping the bandage off kind of thing.
He jumped off the bed to his feet. “What? No. Please don’t leave. I love you, and I love the girls. We just got married!” He started walking toward me.
“I know. I’m really sorry. But I love him. I want to be with him. Please understand that.”
Jackson grabbed my arm, to stop me. I jerked it away.
“Stop it. Don’t touch me.” He let go immediately.
I grabbed my suitcase and went toward the nursery. Jackson followed me.
“Sweetheart, please
don’t do this.” He was begging. I was a terrible person.
I had enlisted the help of two of the housekeepers, who had already dressed the girls and had them all packed and ready to go. Jackson saw this and freaked out.
“You can’t take my girls!” he shouted.
“Jack, stop it. You’re going to wake everyone up,” I said quietly.
“I don’t care.”
“Jack, as you know, they are Ethan’s daughters. We want to be together. We want to be a family. I’m really sorry.” I felt horrible, but there was no nice way to do it.
I motioned for the housekeepers to follow me downstairs with the babies. They did. All the while Jackson followed us and begged me to stay. I have no idea how we managed to not wake up the whole house, but no one seemed to notice. Probably due to a lot of alcohol being served the night before. I heard Ethan’s car pull up by the front door just as I was about to open it. I turned to Jackson.
“Please don’t follow me. Just leave us alone. It will be better this way. I’m so very sorry, really I am.” With that, I left.
Ethan seemed a little surprised that I walked out at that exact moment, carrying my suitcase, with the housekeepers right behind me with the twins. He opened the car doors and he helped me put the carseats and babies in them. He started to linger over them. It was the first time he had ever seen them.
I had to stall the reunion for a short time. We needed to get out of there.
“Ethan please, let’s go. We’ll stop shortly so you can properly meet your daughters.”
He reluctantly closed the back door and got in the driver’s seat. As we drove away, I looked back. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did. I saw Jackson standing in the driveway, watching us. He looked like someone had just died. I guess in a way we did.
Thankfully, Adam gave me a large amount of money the night before. After Jackson had gone to bed and the last guest left, I asked him for ‘an advance on my inheritance,’ explaining the situation with Jackson and Ethan. He didn’t like it, but obliged anyway.
Adam tried to talk me out of it. He loved Jackson and wanted all of us to be a family. He wanted all of us to live happily ever after at the estate. However, he could tell that it was not to be. I was leaving and he wasn’t going to be able to stop me. I promised to keep in touch and meant it.
Grandma and Charlie were staying the night and were the last of the guests to leave the party. So, after my talk with Adam I went upstairs to each of their rooms to explain what was going on. Needless to say, they were both surprised, but understood. Neither of them had ever met Ethan, but they trusted my judgment. Why? I’ll never know. I wasn’t known for making the best decisions over the last couple of years. I told them I would call them often, once I figured out where we were going.
Ethan, the twins, and I spent the next several months staying in a beautiful house on the beach. We watched the sun rise almost every morning and it was fantastic. I kept in touch with my parents, but I never heard from Jackson. I heard he went back to school and was dating someone. I truly wished them happiness.
My grandma, Charlie, and his mother, came to visit us a few times. It was great having family around. They didn’t say anything, but I could tell they really liked Ethan. Charlie never mentioned anything about Jackson, but I don’t think he ever truly forgave him for attacking him that day in front of my grandma’s house so long ago. He was probably relieved that I was with Ethan instead.
The girls adored Ethan. It didn’t take long for them to start calling him Daddy. It made me so happy, and sad at the same time. Was he really their father? I honestly had no idea. For months I thought about what to do about it. Should I just leave things alone? It was all going so great for all of us. Even Jackson had moved on. Was it really necessary to rock the boat now? The easiest thing was to just not do anything. Ethan was a great dad and no one really needed to know any different, did they?
One day I decided it was time for me to find out the true father of my twins. It really wasn’t fair to either man not to really know. And it was eating at me. The girls had a right to know too. Regardless of who it turned out to be, they deserved to know who their biological father was.
I thought about doing it in secret, but what was the point? Either way, I was going to tell Ethan the results. I had already told him about Jackson and I. He knew there was a possibility that Jackson was the father. He was hurt when I explained everything to him, but after what he did to me with leaving and not contacting me for all that time, he didn’t feel it was his place to put blame anywhere. He loved those girls, no matter what. I knew that wouldn’t change.
So, we had a long talk about it and went down to the lab as a family. A couple of weeks later we received the results in the mail. Ethan and I sat down to open the letter together. We would be there for each other, no matter the results.
“Wait,” Ethan said, grabbing my hands before I could open the envelope. “I need to say something first.”
“Okay.” I laid the envelope down on the table in front of us and gave him my full attention.
He took my hands in his and looked me right in the eyes. “Madison, I want you to know that I love those girls. I pray with all my heart that they are mine. But, if they aren’t, I still want to be their dad. I can’t imagine being without you or them, ever again. I promise to spend my life making my three girls happy.”
I was in tears by the time he finished. I never really had many doubts, but at that moment I knew I had picked the right man to share my life with. All doubts were gone. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I know. You don’t have to say it.” He leaned over and gave me the most gentle kiss on the forehead.
“Now let’s open this dang thing so we can get on with our lives.” He tried to smile, but looked very nervous instead.
The letter said that Ethan was not the father of the twins. We were both devastated. Ethan more so than I, but it hurt both of us regardless. He tried very hard to be strong about it, but I know he was terribly hurt. He moped around the house for a couple of days, then came to me one day to talk about it.
“You know what, Maddie?” he started. “It doesn’t matter that the girls don’t have my DNA. I love them and they are my daughters anyway. I promise to never leave you or them again. You okay with that?”
I just smiled and walked over and wrapped my arms around him. “Yeah, I’m okay with that.” God, I loved him.
A few days later he brought up the subject again. “We have to tell Jackson,” was all he said.
I didn’t even hesitate. “I know.”
And that was that. I called Adam and told him we were coming home. He was thrilled. I told him that he better not dare throw a party. I knew him. He liked his parties. He was a little disappointed, but relented.
I then made one more phone call.
“Hello?” Jackson answered the phone on the first ring.
“Hi Jackson.” Silence at the other end.
“Jack, are you there?”
“Yes, I’m here,” he finally said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I wanted to let you know that I’m moving back to the ranch in a few days.”
“Really? Just you and the twins?” He sounded hopeful.
“Yes. And Ethan.”
“Oh. I see.” I could almost hear his head droop.
“Then why are you calling me?” he asked.
“Because I want to talk to you about everything that happened.”
“So talk.” That was just like him.
“No, I don’t mean right now. I was hoping you could come to the ranch so we could talk there.”
“I don’t understand. What is there to talk about? You are still with him, so there is nothing to say.”
“Please, Jackson, I need to clear the air. This is really important to me.” I was trying my best to sound cordial and not irritated with him, which was not easy to do. “This is a face to face conversation. I don’t feel r
ight doing it over the phone. Can you please be there?”
“Okay, fine. I’ll be there. But, I’m just talking to you, not him.” That sounded final, so I agreed.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Just you and me, no one else. I’ll see you in a few days. Bye.”
Chapter 28
When we arrived at the ranch a few days later, everyone was thrilled to see us. I was actually surprised by how much I had missed the place, and everyone in it. Jackson wasn’t there, but I expected he would be soon. We moved into my old room and it didn’t take us long to get back into a routine. Adam even started treating Ethan like family and started working with him, teaching him the family business. I suspected he was just making the effort so we would all stick around. That was fine. I couldn’t have been happier.
I adored Ethan and we loved spending time together. Sometimes we just laid in bed for hours talking and laughing, frequently with the twins crawling all over us. It was heaven. I was so happy with my little family
“This room is kinda bare. How come you never decorated it?” Ethan asked me one day.
“Oh, I don’t know. Just busy doing other things. I never spent too much time in here, so I never bothered, I guess.”
Then it dawned on me, “Hey wait, I know just the thing.” I jumped off the bed and headed to the closet.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m going into the closet.”
“I see that, smart mouth.” He smiled when he said it. “What are you doing in the closet?”
“Come here and you’ll see.”
He followed me into the closet and through to the storage area. I hadn’t been in there for ages and almost forgot about it.
“I hope it’s still here.” I looked around. “Oh, here it is,” I said as I uncovered the painting that I had discovered so long ago.
“Here, give that to me.” Ethan reached for the painting and carried it out of the closet, into the room.
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