by Never , M.
There’s a strange clicking sound before Gunner spontaneously pushes me to the ground and opens fire. I curl into a terrified ball as the bullets fly over my head. Then there’s a huge cloud of smoke choking me. I keep my eyes closed until the madness ends, covering my ears from the loud torrents of cracking bursts.
Terrified tears stream down my face, and then there’s suddenly nothing. No sound, no smoke. No Gunner.
It’s only a split second before a man is scooping me off the ground.
“It’s okay, you’re safe now. I’ve got you.” Shaking, I wrap my arms around his neck and look up into a pair of warm, unfamiliar, brown eyes. He isn’t dressed like a policeman. Instead, he’s wearing black fatigues.
“Alec, Tage.” I come to my senses as the man carries me to a blacked-out SUV. “Alec, he’s shot.”
“We know. There’s a team going up to get him now.” Red and blue lights flash, nearly blinding me. It looks like a war zone with all the emergency personnel scattered around.
“Who’re you?” I ask, beside myself.
“CJ.” He smiles brightly. “I work with Tage.” He winks.
“Oh, you’re one of them.”
“I am,” he confirms. “But shhh, I was never here, and you never met me.” I think CJ is trying to be funny, maybe trying to take the edge off, but my sense of humor is currently absent.
“Where’s Gunner?” My panic though, is most definitely present.
“Gone. He got away. He’s a slick one.” CJ scowls. He has the same kind of authoritative air as Tage. A blue-coat kind of persona.
“Gone?” My throat closes, but I don’t have time to dwell as Alec is rolled out on a stretcher.
“Alec.” I scoot out of the backseat and book it toward him. Tage is with him. His hands are bloody, and so is his white shirt.
“Alec, Alec.” I try to fight the tears. He doesn’t respond.
“Is he going to be okay?” I turn to Tage as they lift him into the ambulance.
“I don’t know,” He’s brutally honest.
“Do you two want to ride with?” the EMT asks right before he closes the door.
“Yes.” I catapult myself into the bus.
Tage follows.
“Hey!” CJ yells. “Tage, get her checked for trauma!”
Slam. The doors close, and we speed away.
Trauma? I’m unquestionably afflicted by that.
Alec is hooked up to all kinds of tubes and has an oxygen mask on. There is so much blood. So. Much. Blood.
I watch the heart rate monitor obsessively as Tage cleans off his hands.
“You’re going to be okay. You’re going to get through this,” I pray. I pray so fucking hard. Alec doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to lose his life. This is my fault. This is all my fault. “Alec, please. Fight.” Tears stream down my face like an angry river.
“He’s strong. He’ll fight.” Tage holds me close.
The ambulance ride is bumpy, but thankfully short. Three more silent prayers later, they are rolling him out of the back of the ambulance into the emergency room.
We can only follow him so far as doctors and nurses check his vitals and call out things completely foreign to me.
The operating room they wheel him into has a window so we can see almost everything that’s happening.
That thin piece of glass is the only thing keeping me on my feet. The only thing supporting my sluggish body.
I fall slowly to pieces as the minutes tick by and the surgeons work quickly tending to Alec.
Tage stands right next to me, watching in silence everything I am.
All the carnage.
I start to weep. The pressure finally taking its toll. Alec has become a permanent part of my heart. Without him, how will I live?
How will I survive?
Tage wraps his arm around me and kisses my head. He speaks softly to me, but I can’t comprehend a word he says. I can’t comprehend anything right now.
I can’t comprehend how someone as amazing as Alec is currently fighting for his life. Karma is fucking cruel.
“Andrews.” That same, deep timber from earlier startles me out of my internal breakdown.
“Commander Adams.” Tage stands at attention and salutes the man. He’s tall, broad, and imposing. Dressed exactly like CJ in those same black fatigues.
“Gunner’s in the wind. We’re putting together a task force. We need you to head it, son. You know him best. Know his patterns.”
“Yes, sir.” Tage takes a step forward, and I grab his arm.
“You can’t leave.” I nearly explode into a million pieces.
Both Tage and the Commander stare down at me, each for a different reason.
“Alec could die. You can’t leave me alone. I need you.” My plea is earnest.
This is what he promised me. That he wouldn’t abandon me again. That he would be here. Always.
Creases around Tage’s eyes appear. Oh, no. No, no, no. I know that look. I have had nightmares for years about that look.
“Don’t.” I shake my head insanely. “Don’t do it again. You promised.”
With that, Commander Adams steps away, giving us some space.
“As long as he’s out there, neither of us will ever have peace.” Tage’s response is sorrowful, but also full of vengeance.
“You promised me,” I desperately repeat. I can’t lose both of them. I just can’t.
“You will always be the most important thing in my life.” Tage traps my face and presses his lips to my forehead.
“Then fucking stay.” I shove him away.
“Everly, I can’t.” Tage traces my cheek tenderly. The contact makes me sick because I’m certain it will be the last time. The last time I ever feel his touch, or see his face, or stand in his presence. The tears come harder and faster than they ever had before.
“Ever, don’t.” He kisses me, swiftly and powerfully, as if that is supposed to ease the pain. As if the pain of him leaving me could ever be taken away. I kiss him back with all the might I have, hoping upon hope the impassioned embrace will make him stay. Will change his mind, will force him to come to his senses.
I love you. I always have. I always will.
Tage… please stay.
The heart monitor in Alec’s room flat lines, grabbing my attention. I break the kiss and throw myself against the glass. No! No! No!
“Tage,” I turn around hysterically, but he’s gone.
I’m alone.
I’m falling apart.
And there’s no one left to turn to.
28
Alec
Beeeeeeeeeeep . . .
I hear the ear-piercing ring in the distance as I look into the light. All the physical pain is gone, but my heart still hurts.
My life has not been fulfilled.
There’s business still left on this Earth for me to tend to.
But the call of the light is powerful. It beckons me. Sheer peace awaits me on the other side. Of this, I’m sure. I feel it seeping through the warm beams reaching out to touch my skin.
The annoying ring is getting louder, though, cutting through the tranquility flooding my being.
“Clear.”
I’m literally shocked, and the rays of light and divine serenity disappear right before my eyes.
Then there’s pain. Ungodly pain.
Blip . . . blip . . . blip . . .
* * *
The sound of heavy rain wakes me.
I feel strange. Heavy, but light.
It’s hard to move.
I look around the foreign room. It’s cream in color, with large windows and lots of machines.
Where am I?
Then I remember. The gun, Everly, Tage’s bloody hands, blacking out.
I jolt from the onslaught of memories.
Then she’s there. Holding my hand, smiling down at me with watery eyes.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Ever presses loving kisses all over my face. “Welcome back.”
/>
I find my bearings, then ask, “How long was I out?” My voice is foreign and groggy.
“Three days.”
“Whoa.” I clear my throat.
“Yeah. You gave us a scare.” She presses a button on the wall next to my bed as she wipes her wet eyes, smiling. “I don’t think I’ve stopped crying for one minute.”
That breaks my heart.
“Babe.” I pathetically pull on her hand. I’m seriously weak.
A nurse appears. “Welcome back, Mr. Prescott.” She’s cheery. It’s annoying. The nurse checks this and that, my vitals and pulse, and records them on the clipboard. Ever watches, seemingly overcome with joy. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. He’ll be in to examine you in a few minutes. Great girl you have here. She didn’t leave your side for a minute.” The nurse with dark hair and fluorescent red lipstick winks at Everly.
Ever smiles in return.
Then it’s just us again.
“You never left?” I ask.
“Not for one second. The firm pulled a string and got you moved into a private room with an extra bed for me.” She thumbs behind her at the messy sheets.
“So, our secret is out?”
Everly nods. “I quit.”
“You what? Ever,” I scold her. That’s the last thing she should have done. Her future was so promising at the firm.
“Alec,” she silences me. “You saved me.” She sounds in awe. “You stepped in front of a gun for me.”
“It was the chivalrous thing to do.” I shift and am stabbed in the ribs with pain. “Fuck.”
“It was insane,” she goes on, trying to comfort me. Fluffing my pillow, kissing my lips, pouring me a glass of water.
“It was instinctual. I just reacted.” I sip slowly, the cool liquid quenching the desert-like thirst.
“It was heroic.”
“Tage is the hero. He was the one who kept me calm, kept pressure on the wound, and talked me through it. You know, until I passed out.” I recall the terrorizing moments. “I was freaking out. I was bleeding, they took you, there was so much happening so fast. Tage just kept reassuring me you were going to be okay. That we were both going to be okay.”
“Tage definitely has vigilante tendencies.” She sighs.
“Where is Riggs?” I make a Lethal Weapon joke. Tage definitely has the hair, the attitude, and the death wish.
“Gone.” Everly breaks the news.
“Gone? Gone where? Is he coming back?”
She shakes her head solemnly. “I don’t think so. Not this time.”
“What?” I squeeze her hand, seeing the devastation in her eyes. I know what he meant to her. Everything they’ve been through. He was supposed to change. He made a promise. We both did.
“Can I be honest?” Everly clears her throat of all the emotion.
“Always.”
“I never really believed he was going to stay.” Her voice is a strained whisper. “It’s over. We’re over. We’ve finally said goodbye.”
“And you’re okay with that?” It’s almost preposterous to hear. I had gotten used to our threesome so fast, it felt as if it was written in stone.
She shrugs, teary-eyed. “I have to be. If there’s one thing Tage made me good at, it was saying goodbye to him.”
“That’s sad.”
“It is,” she agrees.
“So, it’s just you and me, then?” I re-evaluate. The lawyer mentality is never far away.
“It’s just you and me,” she confirms. “If you still want me. Knowing I’m unemployed. Knowing my past. Knowing there could still be trouble in my future.” She rattles off a dozen reasons for me to run. None scary enough, though. I’m not going anywhere. Not without her.
“What kind of trouble?”
“Gunner got away. He’s out there, somewhere. With my mom and that crazy man with the gun.”
“And Tage went after them.” I fit the puzzle pieces together. Only something catastrophic could pull him away from Everly. Of this, I’m sure. Gunner being on the run definitely fits that bill.
“He said neither of us would ever find peace of mind as long as he’s free.”
“Is he right?” I search her beautiful face. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until now.
“Maybe. But knowing Tage is out there lessens the burden. I won’t stop my life. I refuse. And I won’t sacrifice a future with you. That is, if you still want one with me.” She bites her lip. She burns so brightly even in her moments of doubt.
I tap my chest, gesturing her to lie next to me. She’s too far away.
Everly crawls into the hospital bed carefully and rests her head exactly where I patted myself on the chest.
“I don’t think there is another woman in this world who deserves my brave, fearless, courageous, daredevil, dashingly handsome, one-of-a-kind-self more than you.”
“Oh,” she laughs. “You have a mighty high opinion of yourself.”
“I took a bullet. My hubris is warranted.” I’m smug.
“Hubris. That’s such a cocky lawyer word.”
“Last time I checked, I was a cocky lawyer.” I grin.
“My favorite cocky lawyer in the whole entire world.” She snuggles up against me. Nothing feels more right.
“The cocky lawyer who would take a bullet for you.”
“And share his future with me,” she adds.
“The cocky lawyer who would do anything for you.” I tilt her chin up.
“I would do anything for you, too.” She touches her lips sweetly to mine, binding the prospect of a whole new day.
A whole relationship.
A whole new existence.
A whole new future.
Just the two of us.
Her and me.
Epilogue
TAGE
Eight months later
I know, I’m an asshole.
And this time, I totally care.
I thought I could do it. Give up the life. Be with Everly. Be normal. Somewhat. But as soon as the offer was presented, my intrinsic instincts kicked in. I didn’t give it a second thought. If I was really a changed man, I would have. I would have stayed.
But I’m a hunter by nature. The thrill of the chase gives me life. Maybe that’s why I pursued Ever. She was always a chase. Even when we were finally together. I was always battling Alec in some way or form. There was always a push and pull, a challenge. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m saying it just is. It’s who I am.
I found myself in the exact same situation as eight years ago. I needed to make a choice, and I went with my gut.
History repeated itself.
Everly means the world to me, no matter the circumstance. She always will. She was my first love. I was her first everything. No one can ever take that. Our memories. Our precious moments. But she deserves better. Someone, so much better than me.
Alec is that person. He’s that man. He can take care of her better than I ever could. He can hand her the world on a silver platter. He can also hand over his heart and his commitment. I’ve never been good at commitment, unless you count my commitment to duty. I’ve always been married to that.
It was my other first love.
It may be the only love I can ever hold on to.
The march winds whip in New York City, but the day is bright and clear.
I stand on the sidewalk in a baseball cap and denim jacket spying inside a storefront window. I haven’t been back to New York in eight months. I have scoured the world looking for Gunner, coming so close to catching him I could almost hear the click of the handcuffs. But he’s smart, and he has contacts coming out of his ass. I discovered he had his plan in motion for years. Coordinating the whole thing from the blind cover of his jail cell.
But I’m going to get him, even if it takes my entire life to do so. Like I said, I’m a hunter by nature, I live for the thrill of the chase, and I always get my man.
I watch covertly as the pretty redhead in the middle of the store smi
les and laughs with a leggy blonde who’s sitting on a fancy couch outlined with gold leaf, sipping champagne.
She’s absolutely glowing, and it hurts my heart as much as it makes it fly high. That’s all I ever wanted for her. For her to smile just like that. Carefree. Untroubled. Lighthearted. Alec is doing a good job of making her happy.
Ever is dressed in a long, beautiful wedding gown that hugs her waist, with ruffles and sparkles, and all sorts of things I can barely describe.
She’s stunning, though. Every inch of her. Especially her long red hair. She dyed it back, and for the first time in a long time I see the true Everly. The mysterious being I fell head over heels in love with the moment I saw her.
My heart beat still accelerates and my pulse still pounds the exact same way it did that night. The first night I noticed her, gazing longingly through her bedroom window. Trapped. Alone. Sad. For a short time, I was her savior. And that short time I will always cherish. A sixteen-year old-girl taught me so much about myself. About who I am and who I could possibly be. She made me stronger, and she didn’t even know it. I didn’t know it either until I had to walk away.
I hold the pink piece of paper in my hand, shielded by the wind in my pocket. I swiped it back the morning after Alec, Everly, and I consummated our relationship. I just couldn’t part with it. Maybe it was a prediction of what was to come. I didn’t think I would leave her then, but I walked away so easily when offered the opportunity. Now, like before, this note is the last tangible thing I have left of her.
I’ll never let go of it.
Ever.
The blonde stands up off the couch and takes Everly’s empty champagne glass. She walks away, leaving Ever alone in the center of the room. She gazes dreamily at herself in the mirror. The long veil making her look like a tried-and-true bride. The most beautiful bride I have ever seen.
Alec is a lucky man.
As if spooked by something, Everly pauses, then slowly peers over her shoulder.
Anxiety smashes a hole through my chest like a sledgehammer.
I should move, hide, get the hell out of dodge, but I don’t. I stand my ground. And as if she senses exactly where I am, she looks directly into my eyes.
