by Tiffany King
Finally, on the third day, I was able to open my eyes long enough to hold a conversation. The room I was in had an antiseptic smell, but I welcomed its presence.
"Sweetie," my mom said, leaning over me.
"Mason?" I croaked.
"Oh, sweetie, we've been so worried. Rick, she's awake," my mom said over her shoulder.
"Mason?" I asked again as Rick crowded my bed on the other side.
Rick's face was telling a story I didn’t want to hear.
"Mason?" I asked, clawing at the oxygen tube in my nose so I could sit up.
My mom’s hands stopped me, gently pushing me back down.
"He's in recovery sweetie. They say you saved his life," she said as tears coursed down her cheeks.
"What aren't you telling me?" I demanded, looking at Rick.
"They couldn't save his leg," Rick said, holding back his own tears.
All fight left me as I sank back against my pillows with tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Honey, he's going to be okay," my mom said, trying to reassure me.
"No, he won't be, Mom, the mountains are his life and he needs his leg. All of it was for nothing," I said, pounding the bed with my hand.
"Kimmie, you're wrong. You saved his life. You're a hero," Rick said, holding my hand lightly in his.
"But I didn't save his leg," I said, choking on a sob.
"But you saved him. The rest we can deal with," he said, smoothing my hair back like my mom had.
"Honey, you walked three miles with pneumonia, a sprained ankle and countless other ailments. I'm so proud of you," my mom added.
I smiled slightly through my tears. "Mason said it would turn into pneumonia," I said before sliding back into the welcome arms of slumber.
Chapter 15
The next few days passed in slow motion as my body recovered from its trauma. I slept more than I ever had before, and my doctors told me that it was the best medicine I could get. The antibiotics helped and soon they were able to remove the oxygen tube, confident my lungs were well on the road to recovery. My ankle and finger would take longer, but they were now wrapped properly.
When I was awake enough to hold a conversation, Rick filled me in on what Mason and I had missed in our absence. I found out Alyssa was hiding out in the boathouse all along, but she was still at the camp since her dad went on a drinking binge before she was picked up. The judge was so upset, he obviously reversed his decision.
"She's really worried about you guys and feels bad about what happened," Rick told me.
"Tell her it's all good," I said, stealing Mason's line. "Who's running the camp right now, anyway?"
"Louise and a couple of friends we have in the area. They plan on remaining there until camp ends so I can be here for you and Mason."
"When can I see Mason?" I asked.
"They want to wait until your pneumonia is completely gone. That way Mason won't be at risk.
I nodded, understanding the reasoning. "How is he?"
"Not bad. He's concerned about you," Rick answered evasively.
"That's not what I mean. How is he?"
"He's suffering from depression over his leg. He's putting on a brave front, but I can tell he's taking it hard."
I nodded, fighting tears. "I wish I could be with him," I mumbled, swiping a tear off my cheek.
"I know, honey, but we want you to get better too," Mom said, entering the room.
"I'm practically back to normal," I whined.
"Yes, well, 'practically' and 'actually' being back to normal are two separate things," she said, smoothing out my blanket.
Sensing an argument, Rick left the room, claiming he was going to check on Mason.
***
By the end of my second week in the hospital, I was done with their excuses. I asked to see Mason every opportunity I got, but Mom kept telling me it could be detrimental to my recovery.
"I want to see him now," I told her as she tried to derail my request once again.
"Kim, you heard the doctor. Your lungs need a chance to recover without risking another infection," she said, sighing heavily at my repeated request.
"I also heard him say I'd be ready for release tomorrow, so there's no reason I can't see Mason. Why are you keeping him from me?" I said, finally seeing through her ploy.
She looked at me critically for a minute before answering. "Do you know you wouldn't leave until you knew they were on their way to rescue Mason? You woke long enough to tell Rick they had to save Mason because you loved him."
I shook my head no. "That day was such a blur, I don't remember much of anything," I admitted. "But what does that have to do with anything?" I added, puzzled.
"I felt you needed a few days to sort out your feelings," she said, fluffing out the pillow behind my head.
"What do you mean, sort out my feelings?" I asked, dragging out my words.
"It just seems a little wishy-washy to be spouting out words of love with someone you hardly know."
"Well, that seems rich coming from you," I said quietly, looking her in the eye.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, avoiding my eyes as she sat on the edge of the chair.
"I think you know exactly what I mean. Not all of us feel the need to hold everything in. Not all of us feel it's right to deny others the truth. Is that why you didn't tell dad about me?" I asked.
She sighed and sat back in the chair. "I'm not sure how I felt about your dad. When I found out I was pregnant with you, we were both still bound and determined to keep our relationship casual. We were both in college and didn't want anything to encroach on our studies. We had fun hanging out together, and he definitely was the funniest person I had ever dated, but I didn’t know if it was love. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was scared to tell him. He was starting his senior year and had big plans. I was terrified he'd turn his back on me, but I was more terrified he wouldn't. From the moment I found out you were in my belly, I felt you were mine. I know it sounds selfish, and if I could go back in time, I'd tell him, even if it meant I had to share you," she said, swiping at a stray tear.
"Would it have been so bad sharing me?" I asked.
"At the time, it seemed impossible, especially once I held you. You were so tiny and perfect that I couldn't imagine entrusting your safety with someone else. I wanted to protect you."
"And you wanted me to yourself," I said, feeling slightly nauseous.
"Yes, I wanted you to myself. Now, after all that, I'm afraid I finally have lost you to Rick," she said, choking back a sob.
I wanted to argue with her, but her words rang true. Somewhere in my subconscious, I had already decided that I wasn't ready to leave my new life. College was due to start in less than a month, but my dream school no longer held my heart. My heart was somewhere in this hospital.
"I want to go see Mason," I finally said.
She stood up without arguing and retrieved the wheelchair that sat in the corner of my room. She was silent as she rolled me from my room and down the hall. I knew she was in pain at the decisions she somehow sensed I was making, but I knew that to fix it would be denying my own heart.
"I can take it from here," I told her when she paused outside his door.
Pushing the door open with my good foot, I wheeled into the room. My eyes never left Mason's as I wheeled to the far side of his bed.
"Hi," I said, finally coming to a stop.
"Hi yourself, beach bunny," he said, smiling at me through the light beard that covered his face.
"This is new," I said, running my hand down his jaw line.
He captured my hand with his and placed a kiss on the palm.
"Yeah, I haven't had a chance to shave," he tried to joke.
I saw through his disguise. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to save your leg," I said as a hot tear streaked its way down my cheek.
"You saved my life," he said, cradling my hand against his chest. "They told me the infection would have killed me if you
wouldn't have risked your own life going for help."
"It was a piece a cake. A walk in the park," I said, trying to smile through my tears.
"That's not what Rick told me. He said you walked on a sprained ankle with pneumonia and still, you never gave up."
"It was only because I thought I saw a Dairy Queen and I had a real hankering for a Blizzard," I teased.
"I thought so," he said, tugging on my hand until I crawled up on the bed with him.
"Is this allowed?" I asked as he slid his arm around me.
"Do we care?" he asked, dropping a kiss on my lips.
"Um, nope," I answered when we came up for air.
He kissed me on the head and switched on the television.
"CW, please," I said as he channel surfed.
He sighed dramatically, but switched to the channel I requested. We were onto our second show when Rick strolled in with a bag of takeout.
"Well, this looks cozy," he said dryly.
"The CW or us?" I joked as he divided out the food.
He raised his eyebrows at me without answering. "I saw your mom in the hall, she looked upset."
I nodded without answering as I munched on a fry.
"Why's your mom upset? She was fine when she visited me earlier," Mason said, taking a bite of his loaded burger.
"She's not happy about some of the decisions she thinks I'm about to make."
"And what would those be?"
"That I'm not going to UCLA," I said, finally coming to the decision I had been struggling with.
"What?" both Mason and Rick demanded at the same time.
"Sheesh, indoor voices," I said, making a production of cleaning out my ear.
"Why would you drop out of school?" Mason asked in quieter tone.
"I'm not dropping out. I just decided I might want to go to community college somewhere else," I said, feeling a little sick at his tone. What if he didn't want me to move here?
"Why community college?" Rick asked, clearly confused.
"Because, it's too late to enroll in a state college," I said, nibbling on my food. This was not the reaction I had been hoping for.
"Where?" Mason asked.
"I'm thinking Red Rocks."
"You mean you want to move here?" Rick asked.
"Well, I was thinking about it," I said defensively.
"What about art school?"
"I'm sure community college has art classes, but I'm thinking of doing a dual major anyway. I was hoping you two would be a little more excited about my news."
"Believe me, I'm excited about the idea of seeing you more, but I better go check on your mom. I'm sure this has her quite upset," Rick said, heading out the door.
"Well, that was a disaster," I muttered. "I thought you guys would be happier."
"I'm excited, beach bunny, but I just don't want you to change your dreams for me," Mason said, sliding an arm around me.
"I'm not changing them, I'm just adapting them to include you," I said, snuggling into his arms.
He kissed the top of my head, but remained silent. We continued to watch TV and eat, but neither held the same appeal they had just a few minutes prior.
The next few days were busy as the doctors released me to the capable hands of my mom and Rick. They shuttled me back to the hotel they had checked into weeks ago. My mom wanted to take me home to California, but I balked at the idea. I wasn't going anywhere until Mason started physical therapy and was well on the road to recovery.
I expected her to fly home, but she remained in Colorado with me.
On Monday of his third week in the hospital, Mason was due to start physical therapy. The doctors thought it would be best if we let Mason do the first few sessions without an audience, so Rick and I waited until after lunch to visit.
I was anxious to see him. Over the last few days, I noticed a subtle change in him as he started to distance himself from me. I tried to chalk it up as anxiety over physical therapy, but I was worried it was something else.
Mason was already back in his room when we arrived.
"How'd it go, son?" Rick asked, trying to ignore the sour look on Mason's face.
"It was crap," Mason said, sounding bitter.
"What happened?" I asked concerned.
He remained silent, fixated on the TV above our heads.
"It's going to take awhile to build up the appropriate muscles…" Rick replied until Mason cut him off.
"I'm not doing it anymore," Mason bit out angrily.
"What?" Rick and I both said at the same time.
"I'm a cripple now. Going to stupid-ass physical therapy isn't going to change that," he said, looking at his injured leg with disgust.
"Mason, it'll get easier. You're not a cripple," I said, fighting tears as I reached for his hand.
He jerked it away. "Why are you even here? I'm not worth throwing your life away," he said harshly.
"Mason?" I said, shocked at his words.
"I'm going to step out a minute and give you guys a chance to talk," Rick said, already heading for the door.
"I'm not throwing my life away for you," I said, stepping to the side of his bed "But that doesn't mean I can't be here for you when you need me," I added, reaching for his hand.
He reared back like I had slapped him. "I don't need you," he said sternly, not meeting my eyes. "I don't need you to keep saving me," he growled.
My heart dropped to my knees. "I know what you're doing," I said in a shaky voice.
"I'm not doing anything. We sought each other's comfort in a time of need, but we both know we have nothing in common."
"I thought we were falling in like with each other," I said, forcing a smile through a veil of tears.
"Oh, I like you, but that's all I feel," he said, turning away from me.
"I know you're just saying all of this because you're in pain. I'll be waiting for you when you're ready," I said quietly.
"I wouldn't hold my breath," he muttered as I softly closed the door behind me.
Rejection was a cold slap in the face anytime it happened, but coming from him like that was enough to make me want to curl up in a ball. I resisted the urge, holding my head high as I walked down the hall.
"I'm going home," I told a surprised Rick.
"Kimmie," he said, pulling me in for an awkward hug since my crutches got in the way. "He doesn't mean it. He's just frustrated."
"Maybe, but I don't think my staying is doing him any good. He needs to focus on getting better first. I'll be in touch," I said, holding my tears in by a thread.
"I've really enjoyed being with you this summer, despite the mishaps," Rick said, pulling me in for another hug.
"I feel the same," I said as a tear slipped down my cheek. "I'll be back, Dad."
"That sounds nice to hear," he said, acknowledging the fact that I was finally calling him his parental name.
"It feels right," I said, giving him a watery kiss on the cheek. "I'll call," I said, hurrying down the hall as fast as my aluminum crutches would allow before my tears tainted my exit.
Chapter 16
"You okay?" my mom asked for the hundredth time as our plane landed.
"Mom, I'm fine," I said, exasperated.
"I know, you've said that, but we left in such a hurry that I'm not sure you said your goodbyes properly."
"Mom, you're the one that wanted me to come home," I said wearily, grabbing my carryon bag.
"Not with your tail tucked between your legs," she muttered behind me, grabbing my bag from me and handing me my crutches the flight attendant had handed her.
"When can I be done with these stupid things?" I grumbled, hobbling off the plane.
"I'm taking you to see Dr. Roberts tomorrow. She'll give us a verdict then."
By the time we made it out of the airport, I was ready to throw the crutches into the nearest dumpster. My armpits protested the hard cushions that dug painfully into them with each step I took. It felt better to complain about that kind of pain,
rather than deal with the true pain I was feeling. After much soul-searching the night before, I felt Mason had lied to himself and me about his feelings. I had to fight the urge to run to him and make him admit it. He needed to believe in himself before he could begin to explore the feelings he had for me. Putting distance between us seemed to be the best option I could think of. One day he'd be ready to own up to them, but for now, I'd have to give him the space he needed, no matter how painful it was.
Carol was waiting for me when Mom pulled the car into the driveway. I climbed out of the car smiling, and was surprised when she nearly bowled me over in a bear hug.
"Kim, I've been sooooooo worried about you," she said, dragging out the word.
"When I heard you were lost with some guy, I about died. I begged my mom to let me go with your mom, but she said I would just get in the way. As if, right? I mean, seriously, I'm not a two-year-old," Carol chatted on as she helped my mom drag my luggage down the hall to my room.
"I'll get you girls a snack while you catch up," Mom said, giving me a knowing look.
She knew I was dying to tell Carol everything and was giving me the space to do so. I knew she wanted to know too, but respected the new boundaries I had set up between us. For years, she had been my sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, my everyday champion, but her betrayal, although forgivable, had erected a wall between us that I wasn't ready to scale just yet.
"So, what's the deal with that," Carol asked, settling on my bed beside me.
I shrugged my shoulders "We're working on it, I guess. She came clean for her reasons in Colorado and I forgive her, but it just still feels off. I have so many other things to deal with that I've pushed it to the back of my mind for now."
"So, tell me everything about your accident and trip," she said, switching gears. "How was your dad? And how did you get lost in the mountains with your stepbrother."
"Foster brother," I corrected, sharper than I intended.
"Oh, foster brother, I see. Everything is looking a little bit clearer," she said, arching her eyebrows at me.
"Very funny," I said, not knowing where to start.
