by Toni Aleo
Ugh, not what I want to do. I send Fiona a pleading look that she just smiles at. “I wonder what he wants?”
“I’m gonna kill you,” I say. This time, I do throw a lemon at her. That she, of course, dodges. I swear, the next time she is in an embarrassing situation, I’m going to make it ten times worse. I know she is probably trying to play this off as not a big deal, but the tension in the room can be cut with a knife. “Sure,” I say, still without looking at Declan. I then, grudgingly, pass by him without another word. He follows me through the pub and out the side door.
Once outside, the afternoon sun warms my face as I lean against the wall, kicking at the ground as Declan shuts the door. Biting into my lip, I chance another glance to see that he is still watching me. His eyes are dark and set on me, leaving me breathless. Breaking away from his gaze, my eyes fall to where he is holding a jar of Goober.
“Why are you holding a jar of Goober?” I ask.
At the same time, he asks, “You’re a virgin?”
Both of us look away as I let out a long breath. This is so freaking awkward, and I hate that. Looking back at me, he meets my gaze and I smile. “I told you I never really had time to date or anything like that.”
“I know, but you never mentioned that you were a virgin.”
“So what, you thought I slept around?”
“Well, yeah,” he blurts out, running his hand through his hair.
“Wow, thanks,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m a little shocked here. I wish you would have told me.”
“I didn’t think it mattered,” I say with a shrug. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does. To me, it does. I haven’t met a virgin since secondary school.”
I let out a breath as I look away. “Oh my God, you make me sound like a rare gem. It’s not a big deal. Lots of people are virgins.”
“You are a rare gem, Amberlyn. To me, you are,” he says, taking a step toward me. “And you being a virgin doesn’t change anything between us, but I still wish you would have told me. I wouldn’t have done what I did last night. I would have waited.”
I glance back up at him. “Why? It was amazing. See, this is why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to be weird about it. You say it doesn’t change anything between us, but I bet you before you knew, you were ready to bang me. Now that you know, you want to be all proper and gentlemanly about it, and I still just want to bang you. Just because I haven’t done it doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I do. It’s just I never had time, and I also wanted it to be with someone I care for, love even.”
I let out a long breath and suck one back in. When his hand comes up to my face, gently tipping it back so our gazes meet, I look up to see that his mouth is curling up at the side. God, he is so beautiful. “I still want to bang you, Amberlyn.”
My face breaks into a grin as I let out a small laugh. “Nice to know.”
“But, like you, I want your first time to be with someone you love.”
Oh hell, I almost said it, I did, but thankfully, before I could utter those three words, Declan says, “I want that to be me, of course, but that takes time. This is new; we are new. We are testing the waters, and they are pretty great, I think, so let’s act as if this never happened. Let’s just let things happen, okay?”
“You’re the one who made a big deal about it.”
His mouth breaks in a grin as he says, “It took me by surprise, that’s all, but I’m good now. All I care about is being with you.”
“Me too,” I say, leaning into him.
“So we’ll forget this all, just be us.”
I nod. “That sounds great.”
“Grand. I think so, too,” he whispers, and it’s safe to say that Declan’s accent is the hottest thing ever. It’s been almost two months of knowing him, and still, to this day, the certain things he says can bring me to my knees. He is just so freaking hot. As he leans his head against mine, we share a smile, and I can’t help but think of those three words. He wants to wait though, which means he doesn’t feel the same as me. Yet.
Kissing my nose, he smiles as he asks, “Can I be honest?”
I smile. “Of course.”
“I like that you want to bang me,” he admits, giving me a goofy grin that makes my insides flip.
A girly giggle escapes my lips before I say, “Well, after last night, how can I not? I can’t wait to have your hands all over me.”
His eyes darken as he leans into me. With a low groan, he says, “You test my control, Amberlyn. I’m usually so in control of everything, but with you, I’m a mess.”
Reaching up, I take ahold of his shirt and yank him toward me. “Good, I like you that way.”
I seal my mouth on his and he kisses me earnestly, causing my heart to feel as if it is coming out of my chest. Moving my tongue with his, I run my hands up his chest to his neck where I wrap my arms around him, bringing him down closer. When we finally part, only for air, I smile. He grins back, kissing the side of my mouth before pulling back some to hold up the jar of Goober. I squeal as I take it and then ask, “Where did you get it?”
“I ordered it for you. I have a whole case at the house. All for you.”
My heart tightens in my chest as I open the jar and scoop it on my finger, plopping it in my mouth. I smile as the flavors explode on my tongue. Ugh, Goober, how I’ve missed you. “God, I love this stuff. My dad and I were obsessed with it. My mom thought it was disgusting.”
“I’m with your ma.”
I smile as I take another scoop, holding it up to his lips. “Try it.”
“No way,” he says, his face scrunched up in disgust.
I pout, my lip out, as I say, “Please?”
He laughs as he shakes his head. “Your pout won’t work. We’ve talked about this before.”
I glare. “Yes, it does. I got you to kiss me last time.” He goes to protest, but I stop him. “Please,” I say, jutting my lip out even more.
His eyes darken and then he takes my finger in his mouth, sucking the PB&J off. Biting the tip, his eyes stay locked with mine as he moves the Goober around in his mouth before swallowing. Shrugging his shoulders, he says, “It’s okay.”
I smile triumphantly. “Told ya.”
“So you did. Come here,” he says, dropping his lips to mine. I go to deepen the kiss, but he pulls away, cupping my face, looking deep in my eyes. His thumbs caress my jaw as he holds my gaze, his eyes searching mine. I’m not sure for what, but I love the way he looks at me. Like I’m the only girl in the world.
“I brought the Goober because I wanted to sweeten you up a bit before I asked you something.”
I laugh. “I’m already sweet.”
He nods as he drops his lips to mine for a quick kiss. “I was supposed to say that.”
I laugh as he presses into me. The feel of every inch of him silences me as he says, “But I need to ask if you’ll be my date to this ball my ma and sis are throwing.”
I smile. “Of course I will. I’d love to.” I pause, watching him for a minute. His shoulders are so tense, and he’s working his lip. “Why do you look nervous? Did you think I’d say no?”
I laugh as he smiles back, running his nose along mine. “I don’t know. I don’t want to go. It’s stupid and my family is intense. There is a chance that you’ll hate them.”
I shake my head, holding his jaw in between my fingers. “I’m sure they are great. Just like you.”
His mouth pulls up at the side as relief floods his beautiful face. “I don’t know about that, but I do hope you like them.”
“Me too.”
He grabs my waist, pulling me closer, desire swirling deep in his blue eyes. Looking at my lips, he bites his, squeezing my waist as he brings me even closer. Dropping his head, his lips meet mine, and I swear everything inside me turns to mush as he kisses the living crap out of me. I love kissing him. I love the feel of him, the way our bodies fit together. It makes
me breathless and giddy all in one. I never want to leave this moment. It feels so perfect being wrapped up in his arms, but when I hear yelling from inside, I pull back, cocking my head toward the sound.
“I have nothing to say to you,” I hear Fiona say.
“Who is she talking to?” I ask, breaking away from Declan before taking his hand in mine to pull him with me. He comes willingly as I say, “She sounds really mad.”
I start for the door as Declan says, “I think Kane was coming by.”
“Oh no,” I groan as I open the door to find Kane and Fiona with only the bar between them.
“Give me a chance to explain, Fiona, come on,” Kane pleads.
Fiona shakes her head. “There’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the arse.”
“Fiona, baby, look at me, come on,” he says, leaning across the bar to reach for her. She swats him away, but then he gets ahold of her hands, bringing her to him with the bar still keeping them a good distance apart. “I don’t want to be apart from ya, baby, but I was stupid and scared because…because… Fuck, baby, I’m just not good enough for you.”
Fiona pauses then as her face freezes in shock. “What?”
“You deserve someone who is gonna be something. Me, I’m a fuckin’ malter. I don’t have jack shit going for me. I live paycheck to paycheck. I come home smelling like crap. You don’t want that. You’re going to school, getting your degree in marketing, baby. How you gonna feel telling folks that your man works at the O’Callaghan Distillery, racking fuckin’ grain?”
Shaking her hands from his, she reaches out, taking his face in her hands. “I’d be proud ’cause you’re mine. I don’t care if you live paycheck to paycheck as long as you do it with me. I don’t care that you’ll come home stinking because more than likely, I will, too. But none of that matters because I’m not asking you to marry me, Kane. I’m askin’ you to be with me, love me. The rest will fall in place later. Right now though, I just want you.”
Kane smiles as he covers her hands with his. “Really?”
She nods. “Yes, you big lug. I’m mad about ya, and I don’t care about anything else. Just you, just us.”
Kissing her nose, he whispers, “I’m sorry, and I promise, Fiona. I wasn’t getting off with Ellen. She’s my friend.”
She nods, leaning her head against his. “I believe you.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you, baby,” he whispers, kissing the side of her mouth.
“It doesn’t matter now that I have you in my arms.”
He smiles before taking ahold of her and pulling her across the bar. She laughs loudly, and my heart constricts in my chest as I watch them kiss like they haven’t in years. When they part, Fiona holds his face, her eyes bright as she says, “Don’t do something stupid like that again. Just talk to me, don’t hold it in. Okay?”
He nods. “Okay, so I guess we are together, huh?”
She laughs before smacking his arm. “Yup, together or nothing.”
“I pick together,” he says with a wink.
“Good choice.”
“I think so, which means you have to be my date to this dumb ball the O’Callaghans are throwing.”
Fiona eyes him, and I can’t help but grin like a fool as she asks, “Is that why you came to apologize, so you’d have a hot-ass date?”
He looks at her stone face as he answers, “Well, yeah, can’t expect me to go with someone ugly, do ya?”
She smacks him again as I laugh out loud along with Declan.
“You arse!” she accuses with a grin.
He smiles as he brings her in close. “No, I apologized because, even though you just want me, I want a future with you. I’m mad about ya, Fiona. So mad.”
I cup my hands together against my chest in such a girly way, but I don’t care. I’m a sucker for this gushy stuff. Fiona eyes him for a moment before pressing her lips to his. He kisses her long and hard, holding her so tight I’m not sure she can breathe until she pulls back, grinning.
“I feel the same way,” she declares. “I’m in deep.”
Kane smiles as he holds her close. “Grand, baby.”
Still smiling, Fiona looks over at me and asks, “Are you going?”
I nod quickly. “Yup!”
“You know what this means.”
Confused, I ask, “What?”
“We have to go shopping!”
Chapter 20
Declan
I can’t wait to see you.
A grin curves my lips as I text Amberlyn back. I’ll be there in an hour.
“Declan, son, did you find a date for the ball?”
I look across the table at my ma and nod as I tuck my phone back in my pocket. “Sure did.”
“The American?” my da asks in a snooty way, and I hate the way he asks that. Like Amberlyn is beneath him, when really, she is ten times the person he’ll ever be. It’s moments like this that I lose all respect for my da. He is supposed to be supportive, proud of the woman I chose to be mine, but instead he ridicules her when he doesn’t even fuckin’ know her. It’s beyond frustrating.
“Da, she has a name, Amberlyn, and yes, she will be accompanying me to the ball.”
Da makes a face as if something stinks, while my ma and Lena beam.
“She is so pretty. I can’t wait to meet her,” Lena says with a grin.
I smile back at her. “She is beautiful, really something great. Even though I’d rather walk through fire than go to this ball, I know she’ll make it bearable.”
My ma waves me off as she laughs. “Oh Declan, it will be fun. Don’t you worry.”
“I highly doubt that, Ma, but all the same, I am coming and I am bringing someone.”
I reach for my water and take a gulp. I feel my da watching me, and I know that he isn’t done with the subject.
“Even though I don’t feel she will last, I look forward to meeting the person who is entertaining you right now.”
My nails bite into my palm as I clench my fist. “She isn’t just entertaining me. It’s more than that, Da. I fancy her, a lot.”
“That’s wonderful, Declan,” my ma says, trying to defuse the situation, but we are both so headstrong that neither of us will back down.
“She isn’t marriage material, and you know that.”
“I do not. I feel she is and you will see.”
“You’re right, I will. When she sees the expectations of you, she’ll run. An American is not meant for this kind of life. You have to be bred for it. Cleary, she has not. It isn’t easy being an O’Callaghan.”
“Got that fuckin’ right,” I mutter.
“Declan!” my ma scolds as my da glares.
I don’t care though; I want to rip his head off. “You don’t know her. So how can you sit there and make these accusations when ya haven’t even met her. Da, don’t you want me to be happy?”
He holds my gaze as he nods slowly. “Of course, but with the right person. She is not it.”
“She’s it. I swear, all she has to do is smile and I’m grinning while my heart feels as if it is coming out of my chest. She makes me feel so good inside and complete. I didn’t want to leave these grounds for the last three years because I’ve been so scared of trying to fall for someone who is going to use me and screw me over, but all it took was seeing her across the lake, and that was it for me. I was off to go find her. She is special, and not that you deserve to see that, but you will.”
Ma and Lena both look at me with wide, loving eyes, while my da’s eyes are hard and not the least bit affected by my declaration of love for Amberlyn. I don’t get it. How can he not see how much I’ve changed? How I’d face a place full of people just because Amberlyn wants to? I’d do anything for her.
I love her.
“You love her? After a month? Please,” Da scoffs. “That is preposterous.”
Shit, did I say that aloud? Looking across the table, I shake my head as I hold his stone-hard gaze. “No, it’s not. It’s the truth. She does something
to me, something that no one has ever done. I love her, Da, and I want you to respect me on that. I think I’ve been the prodigal son. I’ve learned the business. I’ve loved my family first and always been loyal and true to you. Can you not give the girl I love a chance? You are dismissing her on her background, and that’s not fair.”
I stand, throwing my napkin on the plate as my ma says, “Declan, please sit, finish your dinner.”
I ignore her, my eyes set on my da as I continue, “I’ve always respected you, always looked up to you, wanted to be the man you are, but if this is how you treat people, I’m sorry, I don’t want to be you. I want to be better. Amberlyn is special. She owns my heart, and because I love her, you should do the same. If you can’t, then you don’t love me.”
“Now Declan—” he starts, but I shake my head, stopping him mid-word.
“I’ve said my piece, and I don’t want to hear that you think you know what’s best for me. I am a grown-ass man. I am capable of knowing how to choose someone to love and trust. All I need now is for you to accept her, and until that moment, I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other.”
Turning, despite my ma’s pleas and Da’s demands, I leave the room and head for the door. Once outside, I greet our front doorman as he opens the car door for me before wishing me goodnight. Starting my car, I head out of the driveway, and once on the open lot, I kick the car into high speed, racing down the road. The speed calms me and I am thankful for this outlet, but I just hate how much I let him get to me.
Does it really matter if he likes her? No. It doesn’t. As long as I love her, nothing else should matter, but a part of me wants him to. I want him to look at her and know she was made to be mine. I want my ma and sister to love her, for them to get along and want to do things together. A spot of tea here, shopping there, anything for them to bond. To know that she was sent to Ireland to love me, to be with me. That the stars mapped out our love.
It’s true, and I don’t care how sappy it sounds. When you know, you know, and I refuse to allow anyone or anything to derail that. People search their whole lives for someone they feel is their soul mate, and I found mine across a lake. I wasn’t looking, I didn’t even want to find her, but there she was, and I couldn’t bear the thought of her being anyone’s but mine. She drives me wild. Her body, her eyes, her mind, her laughter—she is the whole package. One that I refuse to let go of. All I need now is for her to feel the same way, and life will be grand.
