“Nice style,” He said.
“Nice order.” I replied.
“When in Rome…”
We both leaned back, settling into the cushions as we allowed the cool beer to run down our throats. It was nice to be able to drink with another person in complete silence. It wasn’t a raucous party, and it wasn’t a church meeting. It was the beginning of a friendship. With everything that had been going on in my life, I didn’t realize how much I would need that. Maybe if Pops had still been with me I would never have had the chance to get to know Danny Sims.
He propped himself up on his elbow and turned to me. “So who was the hot blonde at the funeral you are so obviously pussy-whipped by?”
I chuckled to myself, debating whether to just tell Danny the underlying cause of this whole mess. “Would you believe me if I said ‘nobody’?”
“Absolutely not.”
“That’s what I figured.” I took another gulp of my Yuengling. What benefit could he reap from knowing my secret? My brothers already knew and accepted that my relationship had eventually brought about the death of our leader. What they didn’t know was that I was still holding onto that relationship for dear life. Did I care if they knew?
Fuck it. Danny was being a friend, and I wanted to see how far that extended. I was willing to take a chance. What else did I really have to lose? “You know Grace Brennan?”
“Know? Bowie’s daughter? Who doesn’t?” He looked at me, asking me to finish the thought. Instead, I raised my eyebrow, allowing him to reach his own conclusions. It didn’t take him long. “Shit, man. Really?”
I nodded.
“Fuck me. How did you pull that one off?”
“Completely by accident.”
“Dude. I don’t know whether to high five you or punch you in the face. For how long?”
“A few months.” I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to tell the world about it. I wanted to brag about my relationship with my redheaded beauty, about knowing what it was like to be loved by such a woman, but I was certain that anything that came out of my mouth about her would surely be proof that I was indeed ‘pussy-whipped’. That girl could ask me to do anything. I wouldn’t miss a beat.
“And…” He stopped short. “Oh man, is that what happened?”
“Basically, yeah.”
“Look, you don’t have to talk about it if you’re not comfortable.”
Normally I would’ve thanked him and changed the subject, but right then I actually wanted to talk. I wanted to get it all off my chest. I had been reliving the whole thing in my head for so long that I wasn’t quite sure I was telling myself the truth anymore.
“From the beginning?”
“I’ve got nothing better to do.”
I chuckled, preparing myself to open this book up to Danny, my friend. Friend: what a funny word.
I closed my eyes and flipped through the pictures in my memory. “So they made me Vice President…” and I continued from there. Over the course of more than half a case of beer, I told him how I followed Grace into a bar, how she figured out who I was after seeing my tattoo, how she was the one who was shot at the match, and how I rushed her to the hospital. Then I told him about Sean. I told him how I had to pull Grace off of him, that I couldn’t kill him, and how he was the one who fired the bullet that killed my Pops.
“And now that’s all I can think about. Had I just shot that motherfucker in the head when he was holding his knife to Grace’s throat, Pops would still be alive. I wouldn’t be running this God-forsaken club, and Grace and I would be in California, away from it all. No one would be able to find us.”
“California?”
“Yeah, it was a silly little daydream of ours, but southern California was the plan. It still is, just not yet.”
Danny put his strong hand on my shoulder, offering the comfort of a fellow conflicted club member.
“Now you can go back to Boston and tell your club how pathetic I am.”
“No, man. That’s not how we run.”
“Thanks,” I sighed.
He lifted his eyebrow at me. “But can I ask you a question?”
“Is there something I didn’t answer?”
“Why didn’t you guys just run away?”
Of course I had asked myself that same question. Why hadn’t we just run away? Everything was in shambles. No one would have noticed. We wouldn’t even have been missed.
The only answer I could offer was “loyalty.”
“Even with everything Sean did?”
“Even knowing about my relationship, the club followed me. Sean is gone.”
“Where did he go?”
“No one knows.”
“And that doesn’t worry you?”
“You know,” I contemplated his last question, “with taking over as president and then Pop’s funeral, I really haven’t had time to worry about him, but I can’t imagine he would show his face anywhere around here. The club is furious. He would be strung up and burned alive.”
“So now you’re running the club alone?”
“In the club, you’re never alone. You know that.”
“Yeah, but man, your whole family is gone.”
I lightly punched his shoulder. “You sure are making me feel better.”
He patted me on my back and shook his head. “At least I’m good for that.” He winked. We sat there quiet for a few swigs until Danny swallowed loudly. “So what’s next?”
“I don’t know.” It was a quick, forced reply.
He hit my back even harder. “Don’t think for a minute that I believe you don’t have something all worked out in your head.”
“And what if I don’t?” I jokingly shot back.
“You forget that I’ve fought you. You don’t do anything without careful deliberation.
“Did you miss the entire story I told you about Grace?” I was laughing, but it was the truth. My actions with her were completely based on gut feelings. I never questioned anything.
“Chicks are a different story. You can’t think straight around them.”
“That’s certainly the truth.”
There was another breath of silence as we both finished our beers.
“So nothing more?”
I took a deep breath, preparing to let it all out. If anyone would understand, it would be Danny. Still, while I might have thought about it all the time, forming the words was not an easy task. “Do you ever think about going straight?”
“What do you mean?” I couldn’t tell if he truly didn’t understand my question, or if he was so taken aback by it that he needed clarification.
“I thought I was getting out of here. I thought Grace and I were going to run away and not look back. I prepared myself to be a law-abiding citizen, but then… well then Pops happened. And I’m the president now. I can’t just turn my back on them. I can’t… but I also can’t do this anymore.”
“I don’t think I’m following you.”
“What if I could have the best of both worlds? What if I turned us around? I haven’t worked it all out yet, but what if I could get the club away from all the bullshit? We’d stop worrying about getting caught, or killed, or about every fucking prospect being an undercover agent.”
The sad truth was that undercover agents were a big threat to our way of life. We ran background checks on each one of our prospects, called references, even looked up high school transcripts, but the feds now knew all our tactics and were always one step ahead of us. Now any new member needed to come with a referral from another member, or we would patch guys over from other clubs. Personally, I didn’t love patching guys over; I felt that it created bad blood between the clubs, and we’d just be asking for a war eventually. The Shadows had been patching over all their new members recently. They let the smaller clubs do the dirty work of training the prospects and whipping them into shape, and then they’d take them once they were prepared to be a part of such a bigger gang. Of course, then they had all the inside information
on the Shadows’ rival clubs. Luckily, none of the Cupids had gone down that path… Well, not yet, at least.
The beer had begun to have its effect. The colors of the room dulled and I sank further into the couch. With extreme intention, Danny sat up, looking me directly in the eye.
“Dude, did you hear that that just happened in Nevada. The ATF agent had been undercover with them for two years. Two years! You think you know someone.”
I sat up. “This is what I’m talking about! Then the club went and killed that agent’s kid to prove a point. I’m not killing a kid, Danny.”
He started laughing.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head.
“What the fuck, Danny?”
“Fine. It’s just… Ryan, from what I hear, you’re not killing anyone.”
I stood in response. What had he heard? The beer might have been making me slightly neurotic, but it wasn’t widespread knowledge that I hadn’t ever taken a life. I had made damn sure of that, and as the new president of the Blood of Cupids, I couldn’t let that information get around. No one would take me seriously.
“What the fuck did you hear?”
Danny waved his hands at me. “Calm down, man. Fuck. Nothing. You just said you couldn’t shoot Sean. What the fuck did you think I meant?”
I sat again, embarrassed at my outrage. I took three deep breaths and stared out the window. Why was it so impossible for me to just trust him?
“Sorry. It’s just been a long day.”
“I’m sure, but you’re talking crazy. Are you actually serious about this?”
“Is it that crazy? Stability and security aren’t bad things.”
“Ryan, listen, I see what you mean about going straight, but you’re the Cupids. You’re a feared clan. Don’t throw that power away because you’re feeling a little soft.”
“This has nothing to do with Pops, and I’m not asking the guys to change their ways. I just want to start looking for a more a legitimate means of income. Then we can cut back on the gun running. It’ll…” I stuttered, “well, it’ll make me sleep better at night.”
“You think that’s all it will take?”
“It’s a start.”
We both downed another beer, and I retreated to the kitchen to restock.
“Another Yuengling?” I called.
“Keep ‘em coming!”
Upon my return, I tossed Danny another bottle. He caught it with one hand as he snuck his phone back into his pocket with the other.
“Danny, if you have to leave, I completely understand. You’ve been…” Words had escaped me. “If there were words, I’d say them to you. But, uh, yeah… thanks, man—for all of this.”
Now the alcohol was causing me to get emotional. Maybe I was turning soft.
“You know, I was actually thinking that maybe I would stay down here for a bit. I could help out until you got back on your feet.” He patted his pocket, referring to his phone. “I was just checking with a buddy of mine about crashing at his place.”
“No. Go home. Get back to your life.” While I didn’t truly want him to, I felt as though I should put up a fight for the sake of looking tough.
“Just think about it. You know, my club is small, and things are slow right now. They can get on without me for a while.”
“Are you saying you want to hang around to watch the Cupids go legit?”
“I’m saying I want to hang around and make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”
“I’m done with stupid.”
“What about Grace?”
I hated hearing her name uttered from any other lips than mine. Although we were having a good time before, something inside of me exploded. “Whatever I decide to do with Grace is none of your fucking business.”
“I know that, but you said it yourself, you don’t think straight when it comes to her.”
“The hell I don’t.”
“You just attacked me for saying her name. She obviously has you on edge. What, is she hiding upstairs or something?”
“No.”
The conversation paused and his eyes widened. “She’s upstairs, isn’t she?” He joked, as he made his way to the stairs.
I stuck my arm out, stopping him. “I’m serious. She was here. Not anymore. She went home, back to Alexandria.””
“So she left you, huh?”
“No, she didn’t fucking leave me. She just had to go handle something at home.”
He cocked his head and squinted his eyes.
I was getting tired of this game. “Spit it out, man.”
“It’s… no, it’s nothing.”
“That wasn’t reassuring.”
“It’s just… She didn’t tell you why she was leaving?”
“No. So what?”
“Now, don’t freak out.” He put his arms out, hands splayed. “It just seems to me that you might not be able to trust her. I mean,” he added, seeing the rage building inside me, “you know her better than I do, but doesn’t it seem fishy that she showed up at your Pop’s funeral and then suddenly had to leave?”
I spoke slowly. “What are you implying?”
“You don’t think she was sent to get information? To find out how vulnerable the Cupids are right now?”
“She wouldn’t do that.”
I could see him trying to rationalize the thoughts spinning through his head, but he knew it was a battle he couldn’t win. I did trust Grace. There had to be another reason she rushed off so quickly.
There had to be another reason. It had to be something else. But what could it be? Why had I drunk so much? Clarity was not a feasible option, but I still let my thoughts run, trying to focus on a possible excuse. After what seemed like both forever and only a second, it came to me.
Sean. My head instantly began to pound. What if it had been Sean on the other end of that phone call? What if Sean was waiting for Grace? That was the only thing that made sense.
Danny must have sensed my anxiety. “Dude, I’m sure it’s nothing. I was just thinking out loud. I was being stupid.”
“But you’re right. And I didn’t even think twice about it. Maybe I really don’t think straight when it comes to her. What if he’s…? What if she’s…? Fuck.”
“Who?” I had lost him.
“Sean. What if Sean was the reason she had to leave in such a hurry?”
“You said yourself he wouldn’t show his face around these parts, and especially in Shadows territory. They’d burn him for sure.”
I shuffled my feet in front of the coffee table, trying to work things out in my head. He was right. It would be sheer stupidity for Sean to try to befriend the Shadows. They would kill him on the spot, no questions asked. But then again, Sean was no stranger to getting what he wanted through acts of seeming stupidity.
“What are you thinking, Ryan? Smoke is about to start pouring out of your ears.”
“I’m thinking… hear me out.” I wasn’t used to having someone to bounce ideas off of. “Being that their president just kicked the can, the entire system is down, right?”
“Yeah…” He eyed me suspiciously.
“And things didn’t work out the way Sean had hoped…”
“I think I’m still with you…”
“Because, in Sean’s mind, if my Pops had been killed by one of the Shadows, he might have been bumped up to president. But, since he accidentally shot him, he automatically gave up the right to be in this club… or even be alive for that matter.”
“Right…”
“So, who’s to say that the first person he’d go after wouldn’t be Grace?”
“And now you’ve lost me.”
“Sean will try to get back at me. In his mind, I’m the one who ruined everything. Therefore, Grace becomes an attractive target for two reasons.”
“The first being that she’s your broad.”
Had I not been on a roll, I would’ve stopped him from referring to her as a ‘broad’, but things were connec
ting too fast to switch directions. “And the second being that she’s connected to the Shadows. If he could infiltrate…”
“They’d never let him in. He killed Bowie.” Danny interrupted me.
“But, did anyone actually see that? It could easily have been me, or Pops. You weren’t there. It was a mess. And if anyone could swing votes in his direction, it’s Sean Cassidy.”
“I think this is a long shot.”
“Still…”
“Still what?” Danny raised his voice. “Ryan, you’ve had a long day, a hard day. I see how you’re making these connections, but honestly, I think you’re grasping at straws. The possibility that this grand scheme you’ve cooked up is anywhere close to the truth is next to nothing.”
Maybe he was right. It had been a long day. Maybe I was becoming delirious. But, what if I was right and I did nothing? What if Grace was about to walk into a trap?
I needed to know. I slid my phone from my pocket and dialed the number she had just written out for me. The phone rang. My hands began to sweat. I set the phone on the coffee table and turned on the speaker. I continued to pace the length of the table as I counted the rings.
Danny tried to calm me down. “It’s fine, man. She’s going to pick up, give you a silly reason for running out of here, and you’re going to laugh about this later.”
I really hoped he was right.
The phone finally clicked to life, but there was only silence on the other end.
“Grace?” I called.
Still nothing. I bent down to retrieve my phone, but as my hand made contact, my body chilled at the quiet growl that answered from the other end.
“Why hello, Gracie. Welcome home.”
Grace
I sped toward home, unsure of what I would find once I got there. I never heard Aunt Kathryn on the other end of the line, and I prayed there was good reason for that. I prayed she had nothing to do with this. I prayed that she was home, in her own bed, and she wouldn’t realize until tomorrow that she had absent-mindedly left her phone lying around somewhere. I prayed that I would be the only one who would have to deal with Sean Cassidy. After all, it seemed as though his fight was always with me. Why involve anyone else?
Betrayal of Cupids Page 5
