“What did he say to you?” Ryan stood up, coming to the door.
Why wasn’t he just doing what I asked of him? There was no time to explain any more.
“Grace, why are you so frightened?” He took my face in his hand. If I could’ve frozen that moment, I would have cherished it forever. But the footsteps stopped and the doorknob began to turn.
“Don’t make me tell you the truth.” Loud knocks hit the door behind me. I breathed. “Just leave.”
I don’t know what I said or how I said it, but hurt spread across his cheeks, and his shoulders dropped.
“If that’s what you really want.” The knocking turned to pounding.
“It is.”
I closed my eyes, hoping for a kiss, but was left yearning. When I opened them, Ryan was gone. The window was closed. I was alone. Then the door flew open, pushing me to the ground.
Sean stood tall above me, shaking his head. His large hand blurred in front of me as it closed in on my neck. My body chilled as I felt his hand grip my shoulder. He pulled me to my feet and his rough palm then scratched down my spine. My cries grew louder. I couldn’t help them.
“Does he know I’m here?”
I shook my head.
“You got rid of him?”
“Yes.” I whimpered.
“For good?”
“Yes.”
“That was your one chance. If I see him around again, he’s dead.”
“I know,” I spat breathlessly.
He escorted me to the bed and lifted the blankets as I crawled beneath their safety. He sat for a second, resting his hand on the small of my back. If I fought his touch he could very well make me regret it. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed for it to be over. I then felt his hand leave my body and his weight leave the bed.
“Good girl, Gracie.”
I heard the door give one last creak. Finally, yes finally, the day was over.
December 1
Grace,
I can’t make sense of what just happened. I really don’t know. One moment we were making love and the next you were kicking me out. And how could I fight you? The look in your eyes was as if I were torturing you. I could never… I would never… I will never hurt you. Does my presence really bring you that much pain? Is that why you told me to leave and never come back? Or was it something else? It had to be something else.
I think you forget how easily I can read you. I know something is wrong, Grace, and the fact that you won’t let me in makes my blood boil. I’ve been trying to remind myself that this is just what you do. You are constantly lying to me. Sure, maybe your motives are pure and aimed at protecting me, but that is not what I want. Have you ever thought of that? I want, no, I need to be your man, but that means you need to let me in. You need to tell me what is going on when I am not there to witness it.
And I can’t stop thinking that it was a cry for help. I tell myself that I’m going crazy, but what if Sean really were there? What if he had threatened you to keep me away? I know it’s ridiculous. Even now, Danny keeps saying that I’m “reaching,” but things aren’t adding up for me. And I don’t know you’re safe. That’s what pains me the most.
Please, come back to me, Grace. I love you, and I will never stop fighting for you.
Today, tomorrow, and past the light,
Ryan
Ryan
I finished scribbling the words on the page and folded it the best way my frozen fingers would allow. I laid the paper on the swing, sliding it between the tire and the rope. There was no way I would know for certain if she got my letter, but it was my best hope.
The morning sun was reflecting off the newly frosted grass. The snow had finally come. Why didn’t the day feel like a fresh start? I had spent the night close by, ensuring that if something did go down in that house after I left, that I would be there to keep Grace safe. But there were no gunshots; there were no screams. I doubt there was even any movement after the pounding on her door.
I took off down the stone driveway, toward the spot I knew Danny was hiding out with our bikes. I slipped past the trees, following the path I had made the night before by scuffing my feet through the dead leaves. Rounding the corner around a giant family of oaks, I came upon the bikes. I also came upon the barrel of a gun.
“Yo, Danny, what are you doing?” I felt my blood racing in the vein on the side of my neck.
“Sorry man, you can never be too careful.” I breathed a sigh of relief as he dropped his pistol to his side. “I’ve been hearing bikes the last few minutes. I wasn’t sure if we’d been made.”
I hadn’t heard any bikes. Had I been that much in my head? Was I really that distracted? Maybe Grace was right: maybe she saw me as a liability. No. I couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t begin to doubt myself because she is going through something that she’s just unwilling to share with me. Luckily, Danny was prepared and focused. He was smart to have been ready with that gun. I hadn’t even thought of the possibility that this place would be surrounded. My mind had been a little one-track.
“Everything okay? Did you leave her a note?”
“I did.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened last night?”
“I don’t.” I did. I wanted to talk about it. But what if Grace was right? What if I couldn’t trust Danny? If only I could get her to tell me the whole truth.
But that seemed to be impossible for Grace. Hell, Sean could’ve been in her bedroom and she probably wouldn’t have told me. Why was I putting so much effort into someone who so obviously didn’t want my help? There was nothing more I could do right then. Grace had begged me to leave. It was time to go home.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but when I felt the sun warm my face, I was lying sideways across my four-poster bed. It had been quite a night; I must have passed out as soon as I walked into my bedroom. My eyes scanned the room, stopping on Grace’s dress, crumpled on the floor. I didn’t want to move it; more than anything, I wanted her to still be here, to be standing there naked next to her dress. I wanted her to be reaching out to me, asking me to comfort her. I wanted to take her in my arms, as I had the night before, and never let her go. I wanted to fight back when she refused to keep me informed. I wanted to… I had no idea what I wanted anymore. I shook off the haunting image of her, threw on a t-shirt, and made my way downstairs. I smelled something savory as my feet found their way to the first floor.
“Danny?”
“In the kitchen,” he called.
He was standing over the stove, poaching eggs.
“Well, aren’t you fancy?”
“When you’ve been on your own for as long as I have, you pick up a few skills.”
I lightly laughed, happy to have the company. What was Grace talking about? What was the feeling she got around Danny? I promised myself I would at least consider her advice, but as far as I was concerned, next to Grace, Danny was the best person in my life at the moment. He was certainly the most consistent. She had never held that title.
“I ran out and got some orange juice. You can’t have breakfast without orange juice.”
“Did you sleep at all?”
“I caught a few winks on your couch. Well, a few more than a few. It’s two in the afternoon.”
“Shit. How long was I out?”
“Looking at the clock was not the first thing on my agenda when we got back this morning.”
“Touché.”
He turned to me. “You okay, Ryan?”
“Yeah, I am. It was just a weird night.”
“You can say that again.”
We sat at the table, both breaking our yolks with toast at the same time. I wanted to tell Danny what happened when I snuck into Grace’s room, but I was still trying to figure it all out for myself. Plus, her voice was still in the back of my head begging me not to trust him.
“I’m going to the clubhouse today. You coming?”
“Yeah, I’d really like that.”
More silence
.
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Did Grace seem weird when you talked to her last night?”
“No,” he responded quickly. “I mean, I don’t know the girl. She could’ve been weird, or she could’ve just been reacting the way a normal person does when there’s a stranger at their door.”
“Okay.”
“What happened when you went up there?”
How much could I tell him? Might as well just keep it simple for now.
“We fucked.”
He sat back in his chair, smiling. “Nice.”
“And then she kicked me out and said she didn’t want me to come back.”
He looked at me sideways. “Why, do you think?”
“I really don’t know. She swears Sean wasn’t there, but then she freaked out when someone was knocking on her door.”
“Of course she would freak out. Any of the Shadows would’ve killed you instantly if they found her in your bed.”
“And that’s what I thought! Which is why I agreed to leave, but I know I’m still missing something. I just know it.”
He put his hand on my shoulder. “Maybe you’re not.”
My stare could have seared right through him. I stood, slammed my chair into the table and walked upstairs.
He hadn’t done anything wrong, it was just that he gave me the answer I really didn’t want to hear.
Grace
I was running again, and I still didn’t know from what. The clouds are fuller and the rain is more imminent. Where is a shelter? I still hear nothing. I see the hill up ahead. I think if I can just make it to the top, I’ll know what is going on. I’ll know why I’m running. I’ll know who I’m running from. I pick up speed, but the same ground stays beneath me. I watch my feet move faster, bounding off the grass, but I cannot cover any distance. There’s the molasses again. I know the more energy I exert the slower I’ll run, but what are my options? The hill is still before me, but I’m stuck at the base. I can’t make it up. There’s something I have to do. I have a job, a task. What is it? Why can’t I remember? Why can’t I climb this hill?
My body is tiring and my mind is racing. There’s no hope. There are too many unanswered questions. I turn to go back, to give up my quest, when a thought pops into my mind. I can’t run forward. I’ve established that, but what haven’t I tried? Backward. I take a step back, my foot finding the ground of the hill. Another step brings me higher. Backward, I begin to ascend. Backward.
I woke with a start at the touch of a hand to my forehead.
“Aunt Kathryn, you’re okay!” I shot up, wrapping my arms around her. She was sitting on my bed, waiting for me to wake up. She was showered and clothed, but most importantly, she was alive.
“I’m fine baby girl. He didn’t hurt me.”
It was such a relief. I was sick with worry over what he might have done to her because of me. After seeing my aunt bound to a chair just to get my attention, I could only pray my rendezvous with Ryan hadn’t put her in more danger.
“So he didn’t…?”
“No, no, no. I think he was just trying to prove a point.”
“I’m so sorry.” I squeezed her tighter. “This is all because of me.”
She pushed away, her voice very stern. “No, it’s not. You fell into this situation. You did nothing wrong.”
Nothing wrong? I had fallen in love with the son of my father’s arch enemy, the son of the man who had promised to run away with my mother before she was ripped from this world. I certainly hadn’t done something right.
“But if I hadn’t—”
“You listen to me. This is not your doing. This is the fault of a sick psychopath who just happened to set his sights on you, okay?”
I nodded. There was no arguing with Aunt Kathryn. She was right. Sean’s hatred of me might have spanned the past twenty years, but it was only exacerbated by his hatred of Ryan. The fact that I was in the mix again was just icing on the cake.
Aunt Kathryn lifted up my chin. She presented an empathetic smile and took me back into her arms.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop him.”
“No. There was no way you could have.”
“But…” She broke down. I squeezed her tighter, letting her know I was there. I was okay. “I have never felt so helpless.”
“He wanted you to feel that way. You understand that, right? Sean is all about the mind games.”
“What are you talking about?”
I was finally beginning to understand my adversary.
“He called me from your phone. He wanted me to assume I was safe and then he hit me with that chilling voice of his. He wanted me to drive for four hours with the worry. That made me distracted. Then, he tied you up and put you in the room he killed my mother in. He knew I wouldn’t be thinking straight and it would give him the upper hand.”
“But then why torture you like that?”
“That was all for you.”
“What?” She was understandably confused.
“Sean has faced me before; he knows I’m stronger than I look and stronger than people give me credit for, but he knows my weaknesses. You are one of them. His little show last night was to guarantee that you would never let me fight him. He wanted to show you what he’s capable of so you would beg me not to fight back.”
“Well it worked,” she jumped in.
“No. You can’t let him win. We can’t let him win. You have to let me fight.”
“Grace…”
I didn’t want her to finish that thought, for fear she would fall victim to his game. “What are we going to do?” I whispered, trying to bend her to my will.
She took a deep breath. I saw a thought cross her mind, which sparked a new exhilaration in her stance. “Grace, we’re not going to do anything. You’re going to get out of here. I’ll speak with Mr. Muscles about finding a safe passage for you away from all of this. I have a place out in—”
“No.” This time my voice was stern. She was not getting it. “Absolutely not. I am not leaving you to pick up the pieces after he makes everyone pay for my disappearance.”
“If your father were still alive—”
“Well he’s not, is he? So no, he can’t tell me what to do anymore. You can choose to believe it or not, but this all started because of me. One way or another, it’ll end because of me too. I’m not fucking around anymore.”
She stared at me, unable to comprehend the change she had just witnessed. Finally, she nodded. “Okay. Okay.”
I knew she was trying to calm me down, but I was taking it as a win. That win gave me a blast of excitement. I could do this. I was not going to take this invasion lying down. I would fight. I was a fucking Brennan. My family name was synonymous with fear. Debates were held, books were written, and documentaries were made about my family and the power behind our name. Who the hell was Sean Cassidy? I knew what I had to do.
“Where is he?”
“At the clubhouse.”
“Take me there.”
“He gave me strict orders not to let you leave this house.”
“Or what?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, let’s go find out.”
I jumped out of bed, not at all bothered by what I was about to do. The shock and grief that had overcome me the night before had turned into a rush of confidence and a thirst for vengeance. It was surging inside of me. For the first time, I felt strong. I felt as though I had a purpose.
“I don’t have a good feeling about this, Grace.”
“If my father were alive, would he have sat around waiting for Sean to make a drastic move?”
“No, but…”
“I’m not going to sit here and watch as he destroys everything and everyone I love. I’ve been doing that for too long.”
She sighed. “Okay. I’m with you.”
I pulled on a dark pair of jeans and a gray sweatshirt. I slipped into a pair of black sneakers. My hair was clasped neatly in a low ponytail, and I tu
gged a blue knit hat over my ears.
As I moved to step out of my bedroom, I had a sudden thought. I fished through my nightstand until I came upon a gift my father had given me on my thirteenth birthday: a small bowie knife. Still in its sheath, I did a quick inspection, and then slid the weapon into my sports bra. I’d keep it close, just in case. I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror. This was a much different Grace than the one I had seen last night. This Grace was ready.
This Grace would be able to beat Sean at his game.
Ryan
The room broke out in hysterics.
“You have to be fucking kidding me!”
“After your Pops bled everything he had into this club?”
“And now with Sean hiding out God only knows where?”
“We’d be sitting ducks.”
Danny leaned over to me. “Told you they wouldn’t be keen on the idea of going straight.”
I stood. “Listen up guys. It was a suggestion: a way of protecting ourselves. I was trying to offer an option where we could stay bonded in this family of brothers but not have to worry about getting caught, or worse, killed.”
There was another roar from the group.
I really don’t know what I was thinking. The danger was their reason for being. They craved anarchy and destruction. Otherwise, they would’ve decided to join part of the ninety-nine percent of motorcycle clubs that weren’t outlaws.
And they were right: Sean was still out there. How could me suggesting we turn in our guns solve anything? It would only get us killed. It was as if my brain was jumbled. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t think straight. What the fuck, Ryan? What the hell was I doing trying to preside over an outlaw motorcycle club? Did I actually believe these guys would follow me? Their continued laughter was enough to send me packing. I don’t think anyone would have missed me.
Rocky slammed his fists on the table, quieting everyone around. “What the fuck, guys? This is our president. I don’t care what he says; you treat him with the respect he deserves.”
Betrayal of Cupids Page 8
