“Susan is in Paris.” Even the mention of her name sent a wash of shame over him. He’d loved the way she’d loved him or pretended to. He hadn’t seen the infidelity coming until his father had smacked him with it in front of his brothers.
“Why do you know that? You shouldn’t give two shits what the succubus does or where she does it.”
He couldn’t argue with that, and yet, he still answered when she called. Still talked with her mother on holidays. Marriage was a binding thing, and even when it was irreparably broken, it rarely severed completely.
He filled his lungs with the scent of sawdust and varnish swirling about the shop. “Saskia is going to New York. Dutch is worried about her in the city alone.”
“For fuck’s sake. What is the problem with you? When a girl says no, it means no. Move on.”
Logical, and yet it didn’t feel right.
“I don’t walk away from things just because they don’t come easy.” He grabbed a rag to polish the patina off the antique wench.
“If that is some kind of dig, you’ll need a bigger shovel.”
He shook his head. “I don’t like that she hates me. I’m trying to adjust my sails and follow the wind, but it’s just not working.”
Harm shrugged. “This is the part where we get all mushy and I’m supposed to tell you either you’re better off without her, or give you some go-get-your-girl pep talk. I love you, you know that, but I am not that guy. We lived our whole lives with a man who made our decisions for us. I’m not going to be him.”
That was helpful. Johannes set down the towel and curled his hands over the side of the boat. “He would tell me to forget her. And I am trying to keep her out of my head. I’m doing a rebuild on a boat that washed ashore when it would be faster and cheaper to start from scratch. I’m trying to make it seem like nothing happened while I feel like one of those cartoon animals hovering off a cliff waiting for gravity to have its way with me.”
He hung his head, his stomach rolling. So much for getting the words out being cathartic. His chest ached from the inside, as if his heart really was bruised and broken.
Harm cleared his throat. “I don’t know what to tell you, Hannes. That girl has been trouble since the day she was born.”
“She didn’t do anything wrong.” He swallowed, drawing back inside himself.
“She hit me for one.” He rubbed his jaw. “You both did. And she rails at you for what? Helping Dutch? You should have gotten a proper thank you, not Miss Ungrateful riding off on her high horse.”
“I hated you for telling her the way you did. But if I’m going to forgive you for being brutal, I have to forgive her for feeling deceived.” He looked at his brother and smiled. Every time life threw them a curve or plunged them over a dark edge, they’d managed to find their path again together. Even with his divorce.
“Forgive and forget, brother. Come with me to the Drum. There’s enough beer to help shake her off, the music will drown out anything playing through your mind, and two blondes to keep your hands plenty busy.”
He shook his head and then scrubbed at his face. Stubble scratched his palms, reminding him he hadn’t been home in a few days, instead spending the nights working on the boat until he couldn’t keep his eyes open and collapsed into his office chair. The hammock hanging outside the shop would have been more comfortable, but he couldn’t bring himself to get in one.
He hated having to tiptoe around Dutch. But the old man was so proud of Saskia, she came up in even the most mundane conversations. She’d been kind enough to leave him to get over her in peace, but her father twisted the knife without even knowing he held it.
“Boys!” Dutch’s voice boomed from the shop entrance. His cheery grin widened as he neared. “Declan confirmed another investor for the Estate. We’re breaking ground as soon as we can, and he’s coming to manage the project full time.”
They nodded in unison, truly happy that Dutch’s gamble would pay off sooner rather than later.
“The Estate will have a grand opening in time for the high season.”
Joe shared a concerned glance with his brother. “Is that even possible?”
Dutch nodded. “Anguilla needs this. We’ll make it happen. We’re all tired of sitting around, waiting for luck to find us. Now that Dec has secured the funding, we’ll make our own luck. We may even start seeing returns that first season.”
“I hope so.” Harm clapped the older man on the shoulder and moved past him. “You coming, Hannes?”
“You’re on your own, Mannus. Go make yourself a legend.”
Harm gave a mock bow and Joe found himself laughing for the first time in far too long. He set to putting his tools in order, intending to head back up the hill and close himself in his room before Dutch made it home. Though he hadn’t managed to get much sleep on the bed he’d loved Saskia so thoroughly on.
“Something bothering you, son?”
He heard the spritz of two bottles being opened and turned to find Dutch offering him a Heineken. He took it, wishing he were a better actor. “You know how I get when I have a project going.”
Dutch gave the dory a sidelong glance. “I’m surprised it’s not finished.”
He pulled back his shoulders. “It was little more than a rotting carcass when it came ashore.”
“And you still thought it was worth saving.”
“You said yourself it was probably a hundred years old. Some things deserve respect.” He held Dutch’s warm blue gaze, wanting to ask him for guidance. But Dutch was the last person who could give advice on women. His wife lived in a different country.
“Ah, some things are worth saving and others better left to drift away in peace.”
He chuckled. “You’re just wishing you had her for yourself.”
“Probably. Once we’re square, I’m going to build a ship, every piece myself. Think this crate will be out of the shop by then?”
“You could do it now. Family is more important than money. Build your hotel, build your boat.”
Dutch took a long pull from his bottle. “When your father came out one year, he tried to give me business advice. Double your fleet, double your prices, hire captains to run your ships for you. I couldn’t see why I’d want to do that.
“His answer was so that I’d have more time to do what I wanted to do. More sailing, diving, relaxing in the sun.” Dutch looked around the shop, sawdust on the dirt floor, tools and workbenches filling the giant space. “I’ve never worked a day in this building. Money is a means to an end, son, but it’s not the end. I’ve been trying to tell that to Sassy lately.”
It always came back to her. “Is she having trouble with the distributor?”
“More like trouble with her own success. She hasn’t been happy.”
Johannes drained his beer to keep from asking more. He didn’t want to know, didn’t want to be tempted to go to her only to be kicked in the teeth again.
“I think she misses you.”
Joe choked on the beer, coughing and sputtering against his forearm.
“You took her to Beachside.” Dutch shrugged. “Della told me how protective you were of her, of me, and I appreciate that.”
He coughed anew, erotic images of that night flashing through his mind.
“You have my blessing, son. If it means something.”
“Dutch, it does, it would. Maybe someday it will.” He’d promised her that he wouldn’t tell her father, and he wanted to keep his word, at least in that.
“You know, her mother is amazing. She can dream things into reality. She says to picture what you want, and then work backwards from there to get where you need to be.” He gave a sad chuckle. “That never really worked out in my favor. I’ve tried a million ways, but I don’t give up. Every time I try I think, this time I’ll say what she needs to hear.”
“How do you take that, though? The constant rejection.”
Dutch set his empty bottle on the bench. “You take it like a man.”
&n
bsp; Chapter Seventeen
He lifted his hand to rap on the door, then dropped it. For the third time. His stomach rolled and dipped as if there were an MMA fight going on inside. Enough already.
He knocked three times, then pressed his fist to his mouth and counted the beats of his heart. He’d gone over this a billion times, but every time she’d been home. What was he going to do if she didn’t answer the door? Sit on her front steps until she drove up? What if she took one look at him, threw the car in reverse and left?
The door opened as far as the chain would allow before he could dream up a worse scenario. A dark-eyed brunette looked up at him warily.
“Is Saskia here?” He rubbed at the tightness in his chest, his heart pinching with every beat.
The brunette arched a brow, unimpressed with his conversational prowess.
“You’re Holly, right? She said you’re her best person.”
She smiled at that. “And you are?”
“Who’s at the door?” Saskia’s voiced lilted towards him, his ears catching it like a song.
“You’re him, aren’t you?” Holly narrowed her eyes and looked him up and down through the gap in the door.
He nodded and she rolled her eyes. “It’s for you, Sass.”
The door closed, then reopened. Holly slipped her feet into a pair of sandals in the entry and pushed her long brown hair behind her ears. “You have five minutes, tops. Whatever you do, don’t be stupid.” She grabbed some keys from a hook by the door. “I’m going to go check the mail,” she yelled into the entryway.
“Holly, wait,” Saskia called out, “I already did.”
Joe stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him. His steps were silent on the carpet as he made it to the living room.
Saskia started to scream, then covered her mouth and stared like her eyes were going to fall out of her head. She blinked and lowered her hand, pulling on the hem of her pink T-shirt, I’m a hooker printed on the front next to a ball of yarn and a crochet hook.
“Is Dutch okay?” She grabbed the back of a worn leather couch for support.
He nodded. “Sorry, yeah. Great. Trying to catch sting rays mating on the research vessel.”
She sighed and picked up a bright green throw pillow that she’d probably crocheted herself. “Good. You freaked me right out the way you came in here.”
“Sorry. That didn’t happen when I was practicing this in my head.” He moved towards her, noticing the packing boxes. “Going somewhere?”
She nodded, then stared at the floor. “We found a studio in New York. It’s not far from the company that contracted the brand. Couldn’t be more perfect for us to set things up for our meetings there.”
“That’s convenient.” He reached for her, threaded his hand in hers and for the first time in a month was able to take a deep breath. “Can I come?”
She looked up at him, her honey blue eyes lit with amusement. “To New York? Lola would hate it. The water is too rough. And cold.” She shivered for effect.
“I need to be where you are.” His voice grated, but he pushed on. “I miss you in ways that are ridiculous. And I don’t care that you might think it’s weak or stupid, but I need to be with you. Everything else will work itself out as long as I can love you. That’s all that matters. Not where we are on the globe, but that we’re there together.”
Her breath caught, her eyes going glassy. She blinked, a tear trailing down both cheeks. “Did you practice that part?”
He nodded and tried to swallow, his throat feeling like a golf ball had been lodged in it.
“Good job. Did you write it down, because I want to get it right when I tell Holly.”
He gave a silent laugh, the tension easing ever so slightly. “Actually, I did.”
“I missed you too.” She stepped to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his chest. He nuzzled into her hair, smelling the crisp scent of her shampoo.
“Thank God.” He held her tight, wanting to squeeze her right into him.
“You are a good man, Johannes. Even when you do the wrong thing, you do it for the right reasons.”
“I couldn’t tell you about Dutch. And I would have mentioned the divorce, eventually. It’s embarrassing to know a woman loved me more for money than for myself. My father got suspicious and had her followed. Sebastian felt the need to tell me at a business meeting with my brothers around a table, watching my humiliation like a lesson. There were photos of her with someone else. He’d even negotiated a financial settlement with her. No fighting, just annulment papers as if the marriage hadn’t even happened.”
“Thank God.” She looked up at him, a warm smile on her full lips.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re very loyal. If she hadn’t left, you would have stayed with her forever. You wouldn’t have been able to help my father, or to be that fairy-tale prince who swept me off my feet. If your world hadn’t fallen apart then, we wouldn’t have been able to fall together now.”
He twisted his finger in a curl of her hair. “So I can come to New York?”
“For a vacation maybe. But most of our things are going to Anguilla.”
He braced his hands on her shoulders and held her away from him so he could see her whole face. “Really?”
“It’s my home. And Holly is coming because it’s a tax haven. She’s sure we’re going to make a mint with Sassy V. We’ll have to go to New York for—”
But she didn’t finish the sentence or the thought. He brought his mouth to hers and claimed it with a kiss. She might not belong to him, but she was his woman, his world, his everything.
Three Months Later
“Guess what I have?” Holly’s sing-song voice didn’t enter the office much before she did.
Saskia had no time to get any distance from Johannes. There they were, with her perched on the glass-top desk and him standing between her legs. Yes, her knee-length skirt was bunched, but she was wearing tights for goodness’ sakes.
“I’m going to sanitize that desk.” Holly held a large brown envelope in front of her as she gave her best caught-you-blushing glare. “You can do that on your own time.”
“She promised she’d be done by lunch.” Finally, Johannes removed his hand and turned, giving her the chance to close her damned legs. Yes, they hadn’t seen each other in three weeks, but he was supposed to have the maturity to wait until they were alone. He’d booked a hotel room for that reason. Only they’d both forgotten as soon as Holly stepped out of the office to see what a courier had brought.
“Joe, we’re going to get along perfectly as long as you remember some of us still work for a living. If you want Sass to retire at thirty-five the way you did, you’re going to have to keep your hands out of her panties.”
“I have on tights. And boots.” Saskia smoothed her hair, realizing her argument bordered on the ridiculous. “What did the delivery fairies bring us this time? By the looks of the envelope, I am guessing ad copy, and you know you’re the only one here who gets excited by that.”
Johannes winked, his pale blue eyes sparkling as he settled onto the pink lip-shaped sofa. Saskia grinned, glad he’d finally gotten used to it. Three months ago, when he’d first seen the office, he’d sworn his ass would never touch it. Of course she’d tricked him by offering to blow him if he did that very thing.
“Hello, earth to Sass?” Holly fanned her with the poster-sized envelope. “If you can’t keep some blood in your brain, I’m going to put him in a chastity belt.”
“What?” They protested in unison.
Holly cleared her throat. “Now that I have your attention, I present to you our next big break.” The envelope slipped to the floor as she held up a large, white-bordered photograph.
Saskia stared, recognizing the crochet flower micro-thong that had brought her such luck. The buxom model holding an arm across her bare breasts and a come-fuck-me grin played second fiddle to the magazine moniker above the photo, along with the sw
imsuit edition logo.
“Cover?” Saskia sucked in a breath, wondering where all the air in the room had gone.
Holly jumped in her stiletto knee-high boots. “Cover!” She set the photo on the defiled desk and grabbed her friend. They hopped around the room the same way they had when the first suit had made the celebutant calendar, the department store had called and the contract had been signed.
“Ladies?” Johannes rose from the couch. “As hot as it is to see the two of you bouncing, I’m not getting it.”
Saskia went to him and gripped his hands in hers. “We put that suit into production. Everything that is in the swimsuit issue sells out. In minutes. The cover means Sassy V is made.”
She couldn’t help but happy dance, and he joined in, even if it was a bit forced. She didn’t care. This was her moment.
“I have to call my dad. And my mom.” Sass released him and reached for the phone.
Holly covered her hand. “Not so fast.”
“Unless you’re going to tell me the sun has burned out, I’m good. My design is on the cover of the swimsuit issue.”
“There’s more.” Holly’s smile took over her face. “When I told the store we’d made the magazine, they agreed to let us do a location spread for next year’s designs. I went ahead and said Anguilla.”
Saskia let out a scream. Her whole body vibrated with excitement and holding it in would be fatal.
Two of the design assistants they’d hired rushed into the office, concerned and curious. As way of explanation, Holly simply held up the cover. They all squealed and pride and enthusiasm swirled through the loft.
Johannes retreated back to the pink lips. “Does this mean you’re coming home for a while?”
Holly all but cackled. “Joe, sweetie. This means we’ll be doing a catalog shoot on Anguilla. Working. So you can only have her when the sun is set, and if you swear she can keep her eyes open in the morning. Because I think we can gamble a little bit.”
Saskia tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
“Since we’ll have the photographers, the models and the prototypes…why not pay them to extend their stay and get new web content. Maybe even enough for our own calendar with vintage Sassy V designs. We can still sell those.” Her best friend’s eyes sparkled with dollar signs.
Caribbean Christmas Page 10
