“But, like, you don’t. At all.”
I look down. “You’re right,” I say, softer.
“I’m sorry I pretended going to OTP’s event was a Nick thing. That was not my best move. But other than that, I’ve never lied to you. Not about my feelings for Kels. Not about my feelings for you. And it’s still really hard for me to wrap my brain around all the lying. I’ve been trying to put myself in your place, asking myself what I would’ve done if the roles were reversed. I’m trying to understand. But I don’t, like, at all. The moment I knew you were you? I would’ve told you.”
I fidget with a crumpled-up napkin.
“I didn’t mean for it to go as far as it did,” I say. “First, it was because I was scared to—but then it was because I didn’t know how to.”
Nash leans back in his chair. “But why were you scared? I would’ve been happy, you know. I would’ve been so happy.”
“I guess I thought maybe if you got to know me, you wouldn’t be. Happy.”
“That’s dumb,” Nash says.
“The most dumb,” I concur.
We stand and wander aimlessly down the hall, both way too fidgety after we inhaled our fries to sit still. We wander back toward E110, the room that hosted my first-ever panel appearance. I did it. I spoke words on a panel in front of an audience and I didn’t puke or pass out. Which means I can do it again. Someday. If I want to. This is the world I want to be in. I’m here.
But I want Nash to be here with me too.
I open the cupcake container. There is one red velvet left, so I pick it up and place it in his palm before he can say no. It’s now or never, I decide.
Cupcakes make me brave. Books make me brave.
Grams makes me brave.
“I mean it, you know. I really love you, Nash Kim. But it doesn’t matter. None of the other stuff matters if we’re not talking or reading or laughing—if we’re not friends.”
He freezes. “Friends?”
I nod. “We were good as friends, right? Before I messed up. But I won’t do that anymore—mess up, I mean.”
“I’ve been so mad at you,” he says.
My shoulders slump forward. “I know.”
“But I’m mad at me too. I should’ve known—or, like, seen it coming at least. Obviously, I wasn’t paying enough attention. Because I should’ve seen it. I should’ve seen you.”
People swarm around us in every direction as the panels let out, moving on to their next destination. So many people in one space, yet somehow, I’m able to block out the noise. Somehow, it’s only Nash.
I chew on my lower lip. “I’m different online.”
“But, like, you’re not. Not really. Not in the ways that matter. I kinda fell in love with you twice, Halle Levitt. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”
My face is on fire, I’m sure of it.
I’m also sure there’s officially a stupid smile on my face.
“You don’t have to say that,” I say.
“Halle?”
“Yeah?”
“Stop.”
Nash’s mouth smashes against mine and I kiss him back and oh my God, we’re kissing again. At BookCon. In New York City. His hands are around my waist and mine are in his hair and wow, I missed him.
I can’t help but hope this is the first step back to okay.
Because I’m not thinking about whether I’m Halle or Kels.
Because I am Halle.
I am Kels.
I am me.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Publishing What I Like About You has been an absolute dream come true. Writing is a solitary act, but I would not be holding my debut novel in my hands without the guidance, support, and love from my friends, family, and publishing team. So now it’s my chance to gush about what I like about all of you! (Sorry, I had to!)
To my agent, Taylor Haggerty, thank you so much for believing in this book from the beginning, for finding its perfect home at S&S, and for your positivity and enthusiasm every step of the way! Every day, I’m so grateful that I have you in my corner and that I’m a part of the Root Literary family.
To my editor, Alexa Pastor, working with you to bring this book to life has been the most incredible experience. Thank you for loving Halle and Nash as much as I do! I feel so lucky to have an editor who not only believes in my books, but believes in me. You push me to be a better storyteller and this book is a culmination of our vision. I’m so proud of what we created together!
To the entire team at S&SBFYR, thank you for all you do behind the scenes. Justin Chanda, Anne Zafian, Chrissy Noh, Karen Masnica, Lili Feinberg, Lisa Moraleda, Katrina Groover, Chava Wolin, Michelle Leo, and Julia McCarthy, thank you all for your part in getting this book out to the world! And thank you to the art and design folks who made this book so beautiful—Krista Vossen, for the adorable cover design, Sinem Erkas, for illustrating Halle & Nash so perfectly, and Hilary Zarycky, for the above and beyond interior design.
Being selected for Pitch Wars 2017 changed everything for me, so a huge thank-you to this incredible organization and community! To my mentor/writing mom, Rachel Lynn Solomon, thank you for literally everything. You were the first person to believe in this book and working with you was one of the best experiences of my writing life. I’m forever honored that you chose me and I’m so grateful for our continued friendship. I would not survive publishing without you!
Thank you to everyone who has read What I Like About You at various stages of the writing process. Kelsey Rodkey, Carlyn Greenwald, Sierra Elmore, Maggie Soares, Auriane Desombre, Haley Neil, and Jenny Howe, thank you for reading my trash drafts and always being a sounding board during the creative process. You’re all such talented writers and amazing friends—this book is so much stronger for your feedback.
What I Like About You would not exist without my friendship with Rosiee Thor and Al Graziadei. We met as teenagers on inkpop who dreamed of being published authors. Ten years later, look at us! We’re doing the thing! My friendship with the two of you inspired me to write this book and it would not exist without all the writing sprints, brainstorming sessions, and an entire decade of inside jokes. I love you both and I cannot wait to hug you someday, IRL.
Thank you to the friends who remind me that there is a world outside of publishing. To Allie Bassett, for being the one person IRL who loved talking about books as much as I did, for reading (and hopefully burning) my earliest work, and for being the longest and best friendship I’ve ever had. To Kyle Richard, for listening to the highs and lows over a bottle of pinot grigio and always making me laugh. And to Jamie Servidio, for being there for me through all the debut emotions at the day job. There is no one I’d rather sit next to forty hours a week.
Sam Cheung, thank you for making me laugh every day, for always wanting to celebrate even the smallest milestones, and for making sure I ate proper meals when I was on deadline. You are a real-life romcom hero, truly.
Vanessa, thank you for the inside jokes, dramatic readings, and endless laughs. We’ve been through all the sister angst and came out as best friends. Thank you for giving me space to write for a reasonable amount of time before banging on my door when we were kids. If I knew how much I’d miss seeing you every day, I’d probably have put the laptop down sooner.
And finally, to my parents, Margery and Arnold, thank you for always taking my dreams seriously. Dad, thank you for reading to newborn me in hospital halls, ensuring I’d love books from the moment I was born. Mom, thank you for always seeking out my words. Teen me hated that you tracked down my online profiles, but it truly meant the world that you were so engaged and encouraging. Thank you both for always saying not if, when. I love you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PHOTO: © 2020 SAM CHEUNG
MARISA KANTER has worked in publicity for major publishers and covered YA books for MTV. Currently, she works in sales, on the distribution side of the publishing industry. She can often be found searching for the best iced chai in New York C
ity, or reading on the 3 train. What I Like About You is her first novel. Follow her at marisakanter.com.
Visit us at simonandschuster.com/teen
www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Marisa-Kanter
Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Simon & Schuster, New York
An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Text copyright © 2020 by Marisa Kanter
Jacket illustration copyright © 2020 by Sinem Erkas
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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Jacket design by Krista Vossen
Interior design by Hilary Zarycky
Graphic art on page 76 by Tom Daly
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Kanter, Marisa, author.
Title: What I like about you / Marisa Kanter.
Description: First edition. | New York City : Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, [2020] | Audience: Ages 12 Up. | Audience: Grades 7-9.
Summary: When Halle Levitt arrives to spend senior year in her grandfather’s small town, she meets Nash, her online best friend who thinks her online persona, Kels, is as confident and popular as he is.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019035672 | ISBN 9781534445772 (hardcover) ISBN 9781534445796 (eBook)
Subjects: CYAC: Online identities—Fiction. | Dating (Social customs)—Fiction.
Grandfathers—Fiction. | High schools—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.K285 Wh 2020 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019035672
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