by Noah Harris
“It is so good to finally see you Princess Minerva, I am Makepeace,” the tall blond man said.
The dark-haired man inclined his head. “And I am Verity. Extended welcomes to our friends from the south, we hope the journey hasn’t been too difficult.”
Unsure of how to greet them, Philip raised his hand and smiled. “Not at all, different than what I’m used to, but better than the alternative. Thank you for your hospitality.”
Makepeace chuckled. “Wait until you’ve tasted our hospitality before thanking us for it.”
Jaeger looked between the two groups. “They certainly seem eager to see you Princess.”
Minerva motioned toward Makepeace. “I have been in sporadic communication with Makepeace and Verity for several years now. I haven’t been able to meet the men behind my messages, but I’ve been doing everything I can to help them.”
“Your warnings and information have been invaluable Princess, we’re eternally in your debt,” Verity said with a bow toward Minerva.
Minerva laughed, shaking her head. “Do not thank me my friends. We are still not yet out of the dark, and I would not see your people fall because a few men’s reach exceeds their grasp. We can thank one another once the traitors and usurpers are cold and in the ground.”
Jaeger looked at Philip, a small smirk on his face. “She might be human, but she’s savage enough about fighting, like a werewolf.”
Philip snorted. “Do you think she knows how to actually fight?”
Minerva turned a mischievous eye on him. “If you’d like, you can find out later.”
Philip blinked, ignoring Jaeger’s snicker as he shrugged, unsure of what to say. The Princess was a little more of a firebrand than he’d expected. It seemed that as soon as she was away from the watchful and greedy eyes of her regents, the icy exterior she formed around herself was quickly melting. Where Philip was still reeling from the sudden shift in his life, having to escape the only home he’d ever known like a common thief, trying to cope with the imminent betrayal of his family and usurpation of his power, Minerva was thriving on it.
“She’s something else,” Jaeger said with a smile that said he was impressed.
“Princess, as much as I would love to discuss that matters we have tried to talk about over the years, I think perhaps it can wait until tomorrow,” Makepeace said, motioning to the clearing full of celebrating people behind him.
Minerva turned, gaze brightening. “Yes, let’s enjoy ourselves before we face the hard times ahead.”
Verity motioned to Philip and Jaeger. “And you two as well. Our southern cousins are always welcome.”
Jaeger shifted uncomfortably, and Philip nudged him. “You’re one of us.”
“You wouldn’t know it,” Jaeger mumbled, looking anywhere but at Philip.
Philip reached down, taking Jaeger’s hand in his, curling his fingers around Jaeger’s chilled digits. Jaeger’s stubborn refusal to look at him ended with a look of surprise, staring down at their joined hands. Philip knew Jaeger had always been a little bothered by the possibility of his own northern heritage, as if it somehow made him less. Philip had never seen him as anything but his best friend, a man to be respected and trusted utterly. It was time Jaeger learned to put it past him, and if he couldn’t, Philip could at least distract him from the thoughts.
“Let’s go dance,” Philip whispered to him.
Jaeger glanced toward the clearing, then back to Philip. “Weren’t you unsure about the whole thing?”
He had been, but he would willingly make a fool of himself if it meant making Jaeger smile for a little while. “Unsure isn’t the same thing as unwilling. Let’s go out there and learn how our cousins in the forest celebrate midwinter.”
The Arden members of the group backed away, and Minerva had already wandered off with her handmaidens in tow. Jaeger glanced around, unsure if he wanted to let himself go, unsure if he could still trust the werewolves. Philip knew his friend was overthinking it all and took the first steps toward the clearing. He never let go of Jaeger’s hand, and effectively dragged him behind him as he stepped into the open.
Before he could make up his mind about where to even start, someone leapt up to them, two mugs clenched in their hands. The mugs were shoved into his and Jaeger’s hands before the stranger disappeared back into the crowd of celebrants. The drink was a cider, and a hard one at that. The taste of the alcohol was strong for a moment, lost beneath a sudden wash of tart sweetness. It warmed his stomach, sending a wave of heat through him, and he watched as some of the tension in Jaeger’s body eased as it hit him as well.
Jaeger looked at the nearest bonfire, giving a small smile. “It’s certainly nothing like back home, huh?”
That was an understatement. The music was formed by the raucous singing of the people, accompanied by the deep beat of drums from somewhere. People danced in erratic patterns, both near the fires and away from them. Everything seemed wild and free, a direct contrast to the established steps of the dances of the castle. Everyone he could see was laughing, talking merrily, singing, or dancing.
Summoning his courage, Philip downed the remainder of the drink and dragged Jaeger toward the fire. Jaeger resisted for a moment, but when it seemed his choice was to either follow Philip or let go of his hand, he chose the former. The heat of the fire washed over them as they neared and a dancer grabbed Philip’s arm and pulled them into the circle of celebrators.
Unsure what to do, Philip tried to mimic the steps of the people around him. After a few minutes, he realized there was no rhyme or rhythm to the way they danced. Some simply hopped and flailed around, while others moved more artfully and in step with the beat of the drums. The deep sound of the drums was primal, speaking of something older than anything Philip could comprehend. The words of the singing were lost as he allowed himself to follow the drums’ rhythm, letting the sound and emotion behind the voices sink into his core.
At one point, Jaeger’s hand slipped from his, but his friend remained near him as they danced. Philip wasn’t surprised to see Jaeger’s movements were graceful and coordinated, his limbs smooth as flowing water as they twisted around the fire. Philip felt a little awkward and graceless in comparison, but he found he didn’t care. He could hear laughter nearby, and he realized it was himself as he danced beside Jaeger, ever spinning around the bonfire.
More alcohol was placed in his hand at some point, and he drank while he danced. What had seemed like a lot of frenetic energy and ceaseless noise had become a siren call to something deep inside of him. The wolf inside him howled, its tail wagging within him as he was surrounded by others like him. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d been able to forget everything which plagued his life, and to simply live in the moment. Joy and wild abandon filled him to the brim, wiping away all the fears and concerns bubbling in his mind.
He wasn’t sure how long they danced and drank, but time seemed to fly by as the moon made its way overhead. Philip watched as Jaeger’s face lost its stony seriousness, even throwing his head back and laughing as they danced together. He couldn’t remember a time since childhood, where Philip had seen Jaeger look so relaxed and happy. Jaeger’s handsome face looked even better with a true smile on it, and his laughter was a balm to Philip’s nerves.
Without glancing around to see if he was being watched, Philip grabbed hold of Jaeger’s wrist and pulled him away from the fire. Jaeger laughed, not protesting or resisting. The shadows of the forest took over as Philip led them away, far from the watchful eye of the pack and Minerva.
Once they were far enough away that the light of the fires was only a distant sight, and the rays of the moon leaking through the trees overhead was their only source of light, Philip stopped. Jaeger peered up at him curiously, but there was no trace of worry or concern on his face as he gazed at Philip. The dancing and drinking had taken the shadows of their problems from Jaeger’s face, and Philip was reminded of when they’d been boys. They had stolen a bottle of wine from
the kitchens and snuck far from where watchful eyes could see them. Together, they’d drunk the bottle of wine, enjoying their first drunkenness together. It had been the first time Philip had been tempted to kiss his friend, watching his lips as Jaeger laughed, and wishing he could feel them against his own.
It was a wish he had forbidden himself from acting on then, but it returned as he watched Jaeger in the pale moonlight. It was why he had pulled Jaeger away, where no one but the two of them could see each other. Philip reached out, cupping Jaeger’s face in his hand and gently guiding him closer. Jaeger’s eyes widened, but he stepped forward, placing his own hand on Philip’s waist as he was drawn in. Philip turned Jaeger’s face up toward him, his heart thundering in his ears as he gazed into Jaeger’s eyes.
He wanted this, and he was going to have it. Whatever Orrin had prophesized, whatever he had threatened, Philip knew he and Jaeger had always been meant for one another. It was something that had burned deep within the well of his soul for as long as he could remember. Neither of them had ever spoken of it, but Philip knew, and he’d seen the same thought echoed in Jaeger’s gaze.
He needed this, and he was going to have it.
Chapter Six
Jaeger
Between the alcohol and the dancing, Jaeger felt looser and more unencumbered than he had in years. He hadn’t realized how bogged down he’d become by the demands of being a personal guard, his hopeless desire for Philip, and the stresses of living like an outsider among the southerners. Once he’d allowed himself to give into the music, and let the alcohol do its job, he felt everything heavy and hard drift from his body. In less time than he would have predicted, he’d found himself giving into the music and the call of the alcohol, dancing beside Philip as they’d circled the fire.
It had been years since he’d seen Philip so full of life and happiness. Somewhere along the line, Philip had become embittered by the life he’d been forced to live. His private moments away from the watchful eyes of the court and Orrin were filled with exhaustion and anger. When on display, he was forced to smile and nod, say all the right things, and play his part.
Jaeger hadn’t realized how much of Philip had been lost in the years of playing the fool, until he watched as the old Philip emerged. Light returned to Philip’s eyes as they danced, and he’d laughed as freely as they had as children. It had been Philip who’d pulled Jaeger into the dance, and it was Philip who led them both into a moment of joy. A part of Jaeger’s mind had watched the Prince, fascinated and overjoyed by the change to his demeanor. He realized he would follow the man wherever he went, no matter how much Jaeger might suffer in the process.
Now Philip had led him away from the song and the dance. Moonlight peeked through the tree branches overhead, casting shadows over their faces. Jaeger had never seen Philip’s face look so raw and vulnerable. Every emotion that crossed his face was blatant and easy to read. There was a flicker of fear among the desire, and Jaeger could see his friend building up his own store of courage.
He knew what Philip wanted, and Jaeger’s heart skipped a beat. They had never allowed themselves a moment like this, never daring to come close to realizing their shared desire. Jaeger had always believed it was better to want the forbidden fruit, but to never allow himself a taste of it. To allow even a moment of weakness would make the rest of their lives so much harder. So long as they wanted it, without indulging, they could survive it.
Yet, as he watched Philip’s face, feeling his hand against his cheek, Jaeger knew they’d reached the point of no return. Every close call before had been a prelude to this moment, as they gazed at one another with naked want. Jaeger watched as Philip licked his lips, and he knew he would learn what Philip’s lips felt like, what his tongue tasted like against his own. Nothing about Philip’s destiny had changed, but the certain torture of having him, only this one time, was worth all the pain that was sure to follow.
Jaeger reached up, gripping the back of Philip’s neck and feeling his muscles shift. Neither of them moved for a moment, staring across the small distance between them, waiting for the other. Philip’s lips moved, mouthing half-formed, unspoken words, before he finally leaned down. Jaeger tilted his head back, distantly wondering how long they had stood watching one another in anticipation.
Then Philip’s lips were against his, and Jaeger felt his body tense with the sudden sensation. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been kissed before, despite keeping himself distant from Philip, he hadn’t led the life of an ascetic. But in that one moment, realizing Philip was kissing him, he knew no other kiss had ever, nor would ever, compare. His body surged with newfound strength and he pushed up into the kiss.
Philip’s hand slipped from his face, grasping at Jaeger’s shoulder and pulling him tight against him. Their bodies melded together perfectly, with Philip’s larger frame surrounding Jaeger’s lithe one. Jaeger heard a moan coming from his own mouth, vibrating between their mouths as he tried to push even more tightly against Philip’s body. As Philip’s mouth opened, allowing Jaeger’s tongue to explore his, he could taste the sweet flavor of the cider they had drunk.
Equal parts desire and pleasure swept through Jaeger as Philip held him tight. Their mouths worked together, finding a rhythm almost instantly. For one moment, Jaeger swore he could feel every part of Philip’s body. Every muscle, bent from years of extensive combat training and exercise, seemed to work and flow beneath the folds of Philip’s clothes. The Prince was warm, the heat radiating outward, bathing Jaeger. Jaeger clutched Philip, desperate to gain every inch of pleasure he could, promising himself he would remember this kiss for as long as he was breathing.
When the kiss broke, Jaeger was left breathless and dazed. He had no idea how long they’d been pressed together, but it had felt simultaneously forever and brief. There was a light in Philip’s eyes Jaeger had never seen before, and his now hard cock twitched when he realized it was undiluted desire. Philip wasn’t thinking about treachery and duty, nor was he thinking of song and dance, he was seeing only Jaeger, and wondering what it would feel like to hold Jaeger’s naked body against his own.
“That…wasn’t wise,” Jaeger murmured, his voice weak.
Philip’s eyes never left his face. “Maybe, but I don’t regret it for a moment. I’ve wanted to do that since we were young. I don’t want Minerva, I don’t want to be married off like some stallion put out to breed. I want you.”
It was the very words Jaeger had always dreamed of hearing, while chiding himself for such fruitless thoughts. Their paths in life had been laid out for them both, and there had never been a chance of deviating from them. It hadn’t stopped their desire, their wish for something more. It hadn’t stopped Jaeger’s dreams, and the hope attached to them.
“I know,” Jaeger breathed, speaking the truth he had always secretly known.
But the truth wasn’t enough to free them, and they both knew it. They’d worked so hard to keep their friendship whole, while always skirting around what they really wanted. Both knew how the other felt, and both knew their feelings must be put aside for the greater good. Jaeger could already feel the chilly fear settling into his chest as he thought about what they had done.
In one moment, they’d broken the unspoken rule they’d shared. Neither had been willing to shatter the fragile wall between them. It had been painful, being so near to Philip but never allowing himself anything more than a deep friendship. It would be absolute agony to see Philip marry, and live his life with Jaeger on the outskirts, now that he’d tasted just how good the two of them could be with one another.
“Jaeger,” Philip began, seeing the thoughts in Jaeger’s eyes.
Jaeger averted his gaze, shaking his head. “That was…everything I’ve ever wanted from you, and it was even better than I dreamed it would be. But Philip…”
Before Philip could say anything, a boom of shouts and cries echoed through the wood. Jaeger tensed, sensing the fear and anger in the voices. The clanging of metal meeting metal w
as heard, and Jaeger realized a battle had broken out. The sounds came from the clearing they’d left behind, and he looked up at Philip.
Before he could utter the words, Philip’s eyes narrowed. “Do not think to tell me to stay here.”
Jaeger sighed. “Would you even listen if I tried to make the case for why you should remain?”
“Oh, I’d listen, but then I’d follow as soon as you were out of sight,” Philip told him.
It was the answer Jaeger expected and he shook his head. Despite what he said, he couldn’t help but lean up and kiss Philip again. The man was his best friend, his confidant, true companion for life, and Jaeger knew they were meant for one another. The first kiss was a bad idea, and the second one even worse, but Jaeger couldn’t deny himself another brief moment of pleasure.
“My stubborn brat prince,” Jaeger murmured affectionately.
Another clang of metal, followed by cries of rage brought them back to reality. Jaeger backed away, drawing his blades free from their sheaths.
“I’ll have to get to my horse, it’s where I left my sword,” Philip said.
Jaeger thought of the monstrous sword the smiths had crafted especially for Philip and grinned. “Then let’s get it and we can help.”
Philip shook his head. “No, I can get back to the horses just fine on my own. You go and help, I’ll meet up with you.”
Jaeger grabbed Philp’s arm. “You get your sword, and you come and find me immediately, got it? I don’t want you trying to fight on your own.”
Philip snorted, taking Jaeger’s hand from his arm and kissing his fingers. “Don’t you worry about me. Now let’s go.”
